darkSpyro

I saw a debate the other day about how young a person should be before they date. A lot of people say that 18-20ish is way too young for a late 20 - 40 year old to date.

i made a topic with the same point i think at the start of the year or last year i believe but i would be happy to share this again because it is a topic i think people are way too stuck up about! https://forum.darkspyro.net/sp...hp?topic=144579

are they 40? well am i 18 now...? okay lets do it

the law says what is says legal consenting adults are allowed to date one another and do whatever they like the only "law" preventing anyone from dating with an age gap is some so-called "moral law" that come from... from i dont know from somehere! lol... so as i mentioned in that topic i think or another one -skreeee

it was a year and a half ago here! https://forum.darkspyro.net/sp...hp?topic=144072

when i was 18 i fully expected and wanted to be with someone who had a 14 year age gap to be with me i did not care i was not being "manipulated" or "groomed" i wanted it because we had a connection and this guy was way better a fit for me than apparently any boy my age will ever be



yes i met the guy when i was younger yes i had a crush on the guy when i was younger but no there was no setting me up for it my mental maturity has always been higher than that of my body and thats the real point to me

your mental age says a lot more than your physical age when it comes to relationships between consenting adults of course for real i think that a 24 year old who has the mental maturity of 12 year old might find it tough dating a 24 year old with the mental maturity of a 42 year old and theyre the same age.

18-20ish is way too young for a late 20 - 40 year old to date.

so my answer to that is clearly i think that its stupid to say that

now see i dont know if i would be able to date someone 18-20 ish and i am a late 20 year old person but not because i think there is some sort of moral injustice being done but because the thing with me is my mental maturity seems to already be too much for boys the same age as me i even got jokes from people older than me that said i have the spirit of an old lady trapped in my body lol this whatever-you-want-to-call-it brain capacity that i have is probably why teenage me wanted to be with someone in their late 20s-40s because i aligned mentally way more with them then i ever could someone my age... i sure tell you boys in my age group were really stupid when i was a teenager my goodness... but i have no care for social pressure its just completely about being with someone who fits my brain

on that thought i do think people with different mental maturity can work together but they have to put in the work for that one i think

i also have been using me as the younger participant in this relationship because i have actually been there and done that but i wanted to touch on the if i was the older one part too

like what someone should look at it is this

do you make one another happy? do you treat one another with respect? do you enjoy your time with them? can you see yourself with them forever and ever? do you just fit like puzzle pieces together? if the answer to those questions is a yes why would you go settle for some who is within your age group who fills those checkboxes with a no for real? just to fulfill this figment of the imagination moral law? to please the people around you? because of pressure? would you rather be unhappy with someone who is your age or happy with someone who isnt? thats what you should look at

you should ask yourself the same questions you would with any partner which should be the above questions or variations or whatever you get the point if you are both consenting adults one of the questions should not be but Is It okAY beCuas I mEan oUR Ages Are tOTALLY Like 4 and A Half YearS APart

the only additional question you might want to ask which would be answered by the above ones anyway if you are the younger party is if they attracted to you because you are you or because they are creepy and attracted to the younger people in general but if the answer was yes to the above you wouldnt have to worry about that

the age gap argument is pretty stupid to me and it is nice to see that people are finally turning around on that one i even see previously very hateful prejudice toward the age gap news sources putting out articles on why age gap can in fact work out

the point for me is

does the relationship work are you both in a comfortable place with it and are you both consenting adults

if the answer is YES

then for real

why are you so hung up on a number

foot note

i am starting to get the hang of this now! so when i say

you

i am not referring to you somePerson or anyone else here just the normal

you

Heavily depends, I think with shorter/just for fun relationships it's pretty harmless for any age range. With serious long term stuff it get's complicated, there is a larger power imbalance issue especially when it comes to financial control. Like my partner makes waaaay more money than me and has reached a lot more milestones, if they wanted and we lived together they could absolutely abuse that (though I trust my partner and know they wouldn't). Though this could also be an issue in a non age gap relationship, theres a lot more predatory dudes looking for these kinds of relationships in particular so you have to be more careful. I think the main difference between a healthy age gap relationship and an unhealthy one is why you got in the relationship, if someone is specifically looking ONLY for age gap stuff it's generally for fetish/abuse purposes, while if it's just two people who got in a relationship despite having an age gap it tends to be much more healthy. The latter also includes people who simply mesh with older people more and have similar goals as Leewoo mentioned.

honestly idk. i was raised being told that it was 16 and up but tbh that was by very puritanical people

just putting out that i was called Leewoo and i thought it was too funny/awesome to not be acknowledged

I could go on a rant but I don't care to, it's up to you guys if you want me to...

yes..

I only got one vote, but whatever...

EPIC BACKSTORY TIME!!!

While not all kids are stupid, the ones from my generation certainly were, and in present day, are now stupid adults. When I was a kid, I pretty much hated every other kid my age. I can't think of one that I liked, at least not particularly. On rare occasion, my mother forced me to hang out with other kids who were my age, or usually a little younger than me, about a year or two younger, but dear mother, I was perfectly okay with you keeping me away from other kids, that freedom, I did not want, or need.

I don't mean to sound conceited, but I was smarter than all of the other kids my age. Some of them were straight up stupid, the majority of them, but even the other ones that weren't, were just a bit much for me. And yes, I know I'm the weird one, as I was far too mature for my age, thanks to extremely strict and smart parents. Yes, my mother was a genius, and that's how she got away with being that ****ing evil. My parents weren't going to raise some stupid kids, that's for sure. Other parents, however? I don't want to say it...

I'm still like this today. Although I've met more people my age, some a few years younger and some a few years older, that I've gotten along very well with, I typically still do not get along well with people in my age group. A lot of them are still idiots, and again, I know I'm the one who's out of place, but I'm an old soul, indeed, in both the way that I act and the things I'm interested in. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not interested in any "mIlLeNiAl tHiNgS," just as a general whole, I have a hard time forming connections with people my age because of maturity level and lack of common interests.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that it's almost funny trying to imagine myself in a relationship-AT ALL! HA! But especially with someone who's my exact age, or younger than me, due to the gap in maturity. I have always gotten along much better with people who are a lot older than me, from when I was a kid, to present day. I can get along perfectly with someone who's around 30; that's nearly a ten-year age gap, so enough of a difference in maturity and interests, I suppose.

That, of course, doesn't mean I absolutely couldn't date someone my age or younger than me, because at the end of the day, it depends on the person. Honestly, although it might seem a bit silly, I do have a hard time imagining myself with anyone younger than 20 or 21, as that's roughly the "final" legal age for everything, although I personally don't drink, you get what I mean, damn it. I think the youngest I could go is 18, although even some states in America have the legal age of consent as 16, such as Georgia; I'm pretty sure people forget that a lot because 18 is the average, I do feel like anything below 18 is a little young for me personally. I think 18 feels young for me, too, because of my aDvAnCeD mAtUrItY, and I haven't known a lot of 16, 17, 18-year-olds who are on said advanced maturity level, if any at all, so it's just hard for me to imagine. I will average the youngest I could date at 18. Again, it depends on the person, so for all I know I meet a highly intelligent 18-year-old who shares all of my interests and I get along with perfectly, but I digress.

And just to make it clear, I don't have "a thing for older guys." I've also known a lot of stupid ass people in their 30s and 40s so it's not like someone's automatically a genius just because they're older. Again, it depends on the individual person, it's just that people in that age range tend to be on my level of maturity and share my interests and world views more often than someone my exact age or younger, so if I'm getting into a relationship at all (aaaahahahahaha), then it is more probable that it would be with an older guy, simply due to those factors.

So uhhhh... I think that's it. Maybe I answered the question somewhere within there.

one of the reasons i've been hearing lately about why some people don't want to date people outside of their age range is because they wouldn't have anything in common. i personally find this argument weird... firstly, it definitely is possible, if less likely, to find people in a different age range who share interests. personally, my own interests are not entirely typical of my generation. furthermore, though, am i the only one who thinks meeting people with different interests is enjoyable?? like, it's good to know people who are into what you're into, sure, but meeting people who are into different things, i think, can be interesting. you don't need to share every belief, opinion, and interest to get along, and knowing people who are different than you can broaden both of your outlooks on life. i think that's one of the most interesting things about meeting new people overall, you can find new things to enjoy. and that's in general—romantic relationships, friendships, acquaintances, whatever... but being in a romantic relationship like that in particular, idk, i would think would be kind of nice. keeps life interesting...

i am 47 years old and don’t date anyone over 25. if they hit 25 we break up. i am NOT leonardo dicaprio, do NOT look into this

Quote: Vespi

i am 47 years old and don’t date anyone over 25. if they hit 25 we break up. i am NOT leonardo dicaprio, do NOT look into this

i know you said not to look into it, but i did a little search, and honestly?? this is looking a little sus...

Quote: YesterdayFemmey

one of the reasons i've been hearing lately about why some people don't want to date people outside of their age range is because they wouldn't have anything in common. i personally find this argument weird... firstly, it definitely is possible, if less likely, to find people in a different age range who share interests. personally, my own interests are not entirely typical of my generation. furthermore, though, am i the only one who thinks meeting people with different interests is enjoyable?? like, it's good to know people who are into what you're into, sure, but meeting people who are into different things, i think, can be interesting. you don't need to share every belief, opinion, and interest to get along, and knowing people who are different than you can broaden both of your outlooks on life. i think that's one of the most interesting things about meeting new people overall, you can find new things to enjoy. and that's in general—romantic relationships, friendships, acquaintances, whatever... but being in a romantic relationship like that in particular, idk, i would think would be kind of nice. keeps life interesting...

Actually, yes, you make a very good point. I can be "picky," if you will, about wanting to associate with people who share common interests with me because I'm very passionate about certain things or spend all my time doing them, such as listening to music or drawing, so it's important to me for them to be able to tolerate it at the very least, but preferably enjoy the same kind of music and art that I do, just for example.

But I, Erika, who is an adrenaline junkie and thinks life is boring AF if you don't take chances, actually do find it interesting if anyone I speak to is interested in different things than I am, as well.

^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH NO WAY i think the only time theres a problem is like i said above leo over there seems to ONLY date younger women which gives off the vibe that he has a thing for younger women specifically it doesnt mean its inherently bad to date with that age gap tho i posted this elsewhere about him but have this

"im 29 i would absolutely date a 47 year old would probably prefer to a dude my age because the likelihood of maturity i think people who get all worked up over age gaps like that need to mind their business and or are insecure or jealous probably HOWEVER THAT SAID leo over here im not too sure about cause its not just 1 girl he seems to have a fix for younger girls specifically and if it is like me but vice versa about likelihood of maturity uh hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?? sus"

Erika ninja'd me i was pointed at Dannys post

I never liked Leonardo DiCaprio. Unrelated to this, I just never liked him.

cause hes unlikeable

And uggy.