darkSpyro

in a relationship is their a limit you put or what also ONLY things that are between adults here for me no i don t care i m in my late twenties if i met a guy i thought genuinely liked me who was in his 50s i would do it why not or 70s i understand some people it s attraction but i m not that shallow when it s adults age is a number maturity matters more but an age gap is just there to let you know the last time someone drank from a bottle.... probably

divide age by 2. add 7.

that s bull****

okay but for real i just think the rule is unreasonable i never saw an issue with a 20 year old me dating a 34 year old not if a 28 year old me could date a 49 year old idk never made a lot of sense to me

I think the main reason people are kinda iffy about "age gaps" is someone potentially preying on a younger and less experienced adult or taking advantage of a desperate and lonely old person.

If you see a 20 year old person dating a 90 year old person, yeah technically it's legal, but it would raise a lot of questions. It's hard to talk about this without seeming too judgemental about someone else's relationship, but you have to admit you'd probably be asking a few questions in your head. Like "how did those two meet? What could they possibly have in common?"

Another thing is, you can technically fall in love with anybody, because it's all emotions and you don't get to decide who you're attracted to or who you are in love with, but there is a point I think where maybe the older one, who is more experienced in life, should say something like "you're young, you need somebody your own age to build your life with. I've already lived my life, I'll be dead in 5 years and you need someone who will be able to stick around to raise a family with you or pursue your goals together or whatever you want from them that I can't give you." But I mean if your goal is to have a wrinkly spouse then I guess that's the only option for you so idk, I'm not your dad, and even if I was I couldn't stop you, so make your own decisions just make sure you're thinking rationally about it.

I do think that, of course, just because there is an age gap, doesn't mean there will be problems, and the situation I gave was intentionally exaggerated to make a point that there's just something that I think most of us would see is wrong there, or concerning, or at least curious, but it's hard to put it into words. Especially if two people are happy together and truly in love, I wouldn't want to disregard that or deny their feelings or anything.

My grandma turned 18 while working at a restaurant. Never had a bf before. She met some handsome man in his 30's, 13 years older than her. He had been married and divorced, already had a daughter who he was raising by himself (my mom), and was very high up in the military and was constantly travelling around to different states and countries, all over the world. He had PTSD and other mental and physical issues due to his time in combat in Vietnam. All of this is to say, he was very well experienced in life and had lived much more life than most of us ever will at that age, and my grandma was working as a waitress in a small town in Minnesota, never being outside her small community. Well they fell in love and my grandma would tell you, she wouldn't have had it any other way. He passed away last year after 45 years of marriage with her. They've been through so much and went to so many countries and travelled and raised kids and raised me and my brother and just everything they did they loved each other so much. So on paper it may seem like a strange pairing, and I may seem like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm so thankful they met and they had a wonderful marriage, my grandma would say meeting him was the best thing that could've happened to her and my grandpa often told me that same thing before he died, he loved her so much.

Depends on the people + ages. Even a two-four year age gap can be sus with teenagers, after 20 it becomes way less of an issue. Personally I'm alright with up to ten years, my 2yr+ relationship has an 8 year gap and it's never been an issue.

Quote: Strawberry15

I think the main reason people are kinda iffy about "age gaps" is someone potentially preying on a younger and less experienced adult or taking advantage of a desperate and lonely old person.

If you see a 20 year old person dating a 90 year old person, yeah technically it's legal, but it would raise a lot of questions. It's hard to talk about this without seeming too judgemental about someone else's relationship, but you have to admit you'd probably be asking a few questions in your head. Like "how did those two meet? What could they possibly have in common?"

Another thing is, you can technically fall in love with anybody, because it's all emotions and you don't get to decide who you're attracted to or who you are in love with, but there is a point I think where maybe the older one, who is more experienced in life, should say something like "you're young, you need somebody your own age to build your life with. I've already lived my life, I'll be dead in 5 years and you need someone who will be able to stick around to raise a family with you or pursue your goals together or whatever you want from them that I can't give you." But I mean if your goal is to have a wrinkly spouse then I guess that's the only option for you so idk, I'm not your dad, and even if I was I couldn't stop you, so make your own decisions just make sure you're thinking rationally about it.

I do think that, of course, just because there is an age gap, doesn't mean there will be problems, and the situation I gave was intentionally exaggerated to make a point that there's just something that I think most of us would see is wrong there, or concerning, or at least curious, but it's hard to put it into words. Especially if two people are happy together and truly in love, I wouldn't want to disregard that or deny their feelings or anything.

My grandma turned 18 while working at a restaurant. Never had a bf before. She met some handsome man in his 30's, 13 years older than her. He had been married and divorced, already had a daughter who he was raising by himself (my mom), and was very high up in the military and was constantly travelling around to different states and countries, all over the world. He had PTSD and other mental and physical issues due to his time in combat in Vietnam. All of this is to say, he was very well experienced in life and had lived much more life than most of us ever will at that age, and my grandma was working as a waitress in a small town in Minnesota, never being outside her small community. Well they fell in love and my grandma would tell you, she wouldn't have had it any other way. He passed away last year after 45 years of marriage with her. They've been through so much and went to so many countries and travelled and raised kids and raised me and my brother and just everything they did they loved each other so much. So on paper it may seem like a strange pairing, and I may seem like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm so thankful they met and they had a wonderful marriage, my grandma would say meeting him was the best thing that could've happened to her and my grandpa often told me that same thing before he died, he loved her so much.

while it s true what you say about about i would "ask questions" my questions would be more along the line of "oh neat that s cool how did they meet?" because i would be like there s some people who get it.

and yeah to me and in my experience an age gap absolutely does not mean there would be problems when people go there it makes no sense to me like inherently what problems does an age difference cause. especially bothers me when people say that while also saying (especailly younger people) "aaaah i m way more mature than my age!" when a boomer says they re young and not experienced in life but then turns around to say age gaps cause problems well how exactly that doesn t contradict your outburst kid

as for the example 90 year old kind of sounded like a relationship martyr there lol if again i were the younger party and he said that to me my response would have been "you ll be dead soon? well okay i love you though not young buck over there i would rather spend the time i have left of you with you plus you sir don t get to decide what i need you love me right? i love you? time does not matter or how much of it we have left

my father tried to pull that on his still girlfriend like over a decade ago (age gap) but it was actually more about him being sick and thought he was dying at the time and she was like ^^^^ read above i vibe with her thoughts a lot

your grandparents story............ i wish there was a movie about it thaaaaaat was so sweet!

Quote: skylandersfan60

Depends on the people + ages. Even a two-four year age gap can be sus with teenagers, after 20 it becomes way less of an issue. Personally I'm alright with up to ten years, my 2yr+ relationship has an 8 year gap and it's never been an issue.

ooh age gap relationship cool yeah like i said i don t see why it would have to be a problem if both parties are mentally capable of dealing with it

Quote: Drawdler

maybe its shallow but 3 years either way for me and even a 19 year old would be pushing it

my sister is 7 years older than me and given my experience with her im not interested in a relationship with a generational gap

never say never but no thank you

as far as other people go as long as you’re not manipulative/grooming/abusive/etc and both parties could reasonably understand (it should go without saying but keep minors out of it because they can’t really reasonably understand and there has to be a line somewhere) it’s not my business and this kind of **** happens even with smaller gaps. Lindsey you knew enough about Zach and aside from that my experiences with distrusting and getting manipulated and backstabbed by people in my life makes me more antsy to trust someone with an age gap since it feels like a hurdle of sorts and I’d distrust even more that they actually like me, and again my experiences with my sister I’m less willing to try working through those things and if im shallow so be it

i can understand that in my own experience i have it kind of the opposite i ve never paraded around "oh i m so cool and mature" myself but others irl and off this site have people think i m a lot older than i am (i know hard to believe given how i act on this site right we call this darkspyro Lindsey rp dear children and it is frowned upon in most societies) and maybe that s why i have always gotten along better with people with like a bare minimum of 10-15 years of an age difference to me and my age group seems to for the most part not feel like they re on the same plain as me and so when it comes to relationships it seems to be anyway a really difficult concept to say it would work

meanwhile someone with a decade over me i tend to hit it off with much quicker and i naturally don t seem to intimidate (apparently me being like one year older than someone and being the way i am is super intimidating to some) basically i prefer calm chill mature conversation and discussion which is more frequently found in older people and it s always put off to me that boys my age for the most part really are stereotypically just goofballs....... and therefore an older guy and i will likely actually have less problems then the other way around and i feel i could trust him more

that s a not a catch all i m sure there are guys around my age who are mentally older too but their sure aren t a whole lot of them from my own experience on that but yeah

As long as the relationship is between two consenting adults and not one of them has personal or/and professional power over the other, age gap is not that big of a deal or taboo. I think that what is more important is the chemistry, identical and shared life’s goals and desires, and similar general outlook on life itself.

Personally, even though I am not into relationships, the youngest I’d date would be 5 – 8 years younger than me and the oldest would be about 25 – 30 years older than me. It is about avoid feeling like a creepy old man or a glorified boy toy.

This is how I see this issue right now. Might and most likely will change in the future.

Quote: Project_Unnamed

As long as the relationship is between two consenting adults and not one of them has personal or/and professional power over the other, age gap is not that big of a deal or taboo. I think that what is more important is the chemistry, identical and shared life’s goals and desires, and similar general outlook on life itself.

Personally, even though I am not into relationships, the youngest I’d date would be 5 – 8 years younger than me and the oldest would be about 25 – 30 years older than me. It is about avoid feeling like a creepy old man or a glorified boy toy.

This is how I see this issue right now. Might and most likely will change in the future.

^this is fairly legit and also you know it s a thing i see actually that stigma of coming off like a creepy old man will often put guys off from the idea more then any real moral obligation which is a shame because the stigma is a weird manufactured thing like "you can t do that it s bad because it s bad!"

----

another unrelated thing comes to mind i mean as long as the age gap isn t WHY you re in the relationship how so is it creepy you know i think it is unfair in this case it falls more toward unfair to men because they are automatically creepy if they have a partner 2 years younger then them (people don t care as much if it s the girl whos older though i ve seen it more with woman now too)

don t be creepy

but an age gap doesn t mean the age gap is why 2 people are together like why would i say "hm i really like this 40 sum year old guy but damn he s like 12 years older than me well **** let me get with someone younger like my age who i like less because the age will be closer to mine though yeah that makes sense"

also thanks for all the thought out comments and stuff guys i appreciate all of them different views on it or not usually i just get called stupid or told how i will regret it later on because age gap is stoopidd

Quote: LeewweewoowheeH

also thanks for all the thought out comments and stuff guys i appreciate all of them different views on it or not usually i just get called stupid or told how i will regret it later on because age gap is stoopidd

You can't date older men because you just can't, okay? You must date someone who was born within 24 hours of yourself or I'll call the police

but if i do that isn t he basically my brother or something then????? wait what?????

Quote: LeewweewoowheeH

also thanks for all the thought out comments and stuff guys i appreciate all of them different views on it or not usually i just get called stupid or told how i will regret it later on because age gap is stoopidd

Some people are always going to be judgemental about silly things, as long as you're on a similar page regarding milestones and all that you're all good.

Age is subjective.

Quote: skylandersfan60

Quote: LeewweewoowheeH

also thanks for all the thought out comments and stuff guys i appreciate all of them different views on it or not usually i just get called stupid or told how i will regret it later on because age gap is stoopidd

Some people are always going to be judgemental about silly things, as long as you're on a similar page regarding milestones and all that you're all good.

thank you man!

Quote: Spyroboy

Age is subjective.

what do you mean

just dont date

fair solution