darkSpyro

there s probably better places to ask this question but i want to know from darkspyro anyway 14 years of this so why not there s this guy who wants to date/go out with me but there s a pretty large age gap i guess i m 27 and he s 40 so there s like thirteen years there...............................................but he s like... really hot and has the best personality ever so like......................................................... what should i do though like no don t or like yeah

I don't see any problem dating someone despite of a "considerable" age gap. Everything lies in the personality and the respect. You're both adults. If you like him, what's the deal? Go for it! Age is just a mental state in most cases.

If you were 14 and he was 35 that would be totally different, tho.

If your life goals match then there might be something worthwhile of pursuing. But if there is no long-term understading about what you both want out of life, it is not going to end well for both parties.

Quote: Halvmorke

I don't see any problem dating someone despite of a "considerable" age gap. Everything lies in the personality and the respect. You're both adults. If you like him, what's the deal? Go for it! Age is just a mental state in most cases.

If you were 14 and he was 35 that would be totally different, tho.

right right thank you for your thoughts i appreciate it

Quote: Project_Unnamed

If your life goals match then there might be something worthwhile of pursuing. But if there is no long-term understanding about what you both want out of life, it is not going to end well for both parties.

only thing i can think of is i think he probably wants to have kids at some point but like.................. i don t really think i want to think much on that right now but he also seems to understand that and that would be the big thing that doesn t line up i guessbut otherwise same interests into he same stuff get along

Quote: LeewweewoowheeH

Quote: Halvmorke

I don't see any problem dating someone despite of a "considerable" age gap. Everything lies in the personality and the respect. You're both adults. If you like him, what's the deal? Go for it! Age is just a mental state in most cases.

If you were 14 and he was 35 that would be totally different, tho.

right right thank you for your thoughts i appreciate it

Quote: Project_Unnamed

If your life goals match then there might be something worthwhile of pursuing. But if there is no long-term understanding about what you both want out of life, it is not going to end well for both parties.

only thing i can think of is i think he probably wants to have kids at some point but like.................. i don t really think i want to think much on that right now but he also seems to understand that and that would be the big thing that doesn t line up i guessbut otherwise same interests into he same stuff get along

The kid question is the most important one. It is one of the biggest life decisions that will determine one's own life for eternity and if that issue is not understood and agreed upon by the both of you, it is better to suffer early heartache than to fight for a relationship that cannot be.

^ i ll definitely bring up the topic with him again to be sure... i guess it s not a definite no never for me just more about like... how soon i could just as well never want kids though so yeah i see your point on the importance there thanks for helping out here Project i appreciate it

Quote: LeewweewoowheeH

^ i ll definitely bring up the topic with him again to be sure... i guess it s not a definite no never for me just more about like... how soon i could just as well never want kids though so yeah i see your point on the importance there thanks for helping out here Project i appreciate it

No problem.. Just remember that sometimes doing the right thing is not the same that our hearts want us to do. But as long as you do the right thing by you, these things will be solved. Just be honest and true to your own feelings and desires and don't rush things.

Ya both adults tbh it's fine.

thank you again both Project and Trix

so a person i know said the following to me about it

1. she thinks it s weird because by the time he was graduating high school and probably dating and having sex i was only 5 years old

and

2. the first time i technically met him and was around him i was 12-14 years old i forget exactly he s a friend of someone in my family obviously nothing happened back then but after not having seen one another for quite some many years we connected as adults and like hit it off

this person thinks it s weird though what do you guys think

1. That's the past, now it doesn't matter at all. Things need to be always analysed in their current context. In the present, you both are adults, so that's it. One of my best friends (she's 32) is dating someone in the same situation (he's 49). They've been happily dating for more than 5 years.

2. That's irrelevant, honestly. You had a crush on an adult when you were starting your teen years... and? That's pretty common. The important thing is that nothing happened. If everything has started now in the adulthood, what's the deal?

It's not weird. To consider this issue to be weird, bearing in mind it is being understood out of context... that has a name: prejudice.

Hope this helps!

Is he cute?

HE S FREAKING ADORABLEEEEEEEE

and did i mention he s hot aaaaand tall

Well, good! I say go for it!!

Wait, how tall??

And just to add my opinion (which is actually a fact)...

Is the age gap legal? Alright, go for it. Age gaps mean nothing to me. I'm about to be 22, and I'd easily date a guy in his 40s if I really loved him. People make such a big **** over age gaps for literally no reason. Seriously, I've seen endless bashing on age gap relationships and not ONE of them ever gave a reason for it. All they could say is "Ew, they're too old for them, that's disgusting!" I'm sorry, but can you please explain what makes them too old for them? She's 27 and he's 40, okay. They're both adults, so there's nothing disgusting or wrong about that. I literally have no idea why people bash age gap relationships so much; there is LITERALLY no basis for it. And what's extra funny is that a lot of the people who say this stupid **** have parents that are 10 to 15 years apart, so, like, how can you even complain? It's stupid.

To address the "he's in high school when you're only five" thing, like, that doesn't matter. Back then, in the past, before, blah blah blah. Who cares? We're talking about the present now. And you're both adults in the present, so that's all that matters.

To address the "I met him when I was only 12-14" part, once again, who cares? Nothing happened back then, so whatever. Once again, we're in the present and you're both adults now, so that's what matters here.

What people really need to do is mind their ****ing business and stop trying to shove their opinions down other people's throats. I don't care if I sound like a love preacher, but if two people are in love, why should a difference in age stop them from being together? Like, seriously, can you think about that for real for a moment? These people are madly in love, all they ever wanted in a person, and are legitimately happy with each other. But they're 14 years apart so let's struggle and factually fail to find someone who was born on the same exact day as me who I'm nowhere near as happy with and don't even really like that much. But we're both the same age, so this is the right thing to do. **** no. THAT is wrong. But I have literally seen people do that before (or at least try, anyway), and I'm sorry, but they're stupid for that. That's unexplainable, inexcusable idiocy that is done for literally no reason.

Just to be completely real with you, cutting things down to age is an absolutely horrible way to look at things. It's not very easy to find someone who you truly adore that just so happens to have the same birthday as you. Some people literally start foaming at the mouth if they're a year apart. I don't know a single couple that isn't at least one year apart, because a lot of them are ranging on 10 to 15 years apart, and guess what, they still have hearts for eyes when they look at each other. Why should a string of numbers get to decide who we should and shouldn't love? It shouldn't be, and anyone who thinks it should is factually wrong.

In any circumstance, if you both love each other, you shouldn't let anyone and anything stop you or tell you that you can't or shouldn't love each other. But something like an age gap that literally no one has any basis for? That's a whole new level of stupidity. You're both adults. You're both in love. You're both capable of making your own decisions.

You have to ignore the loud mouths who just want to say something negative and make you feel bad about yourself, your decisions, and the people you love. Don't listen to them. When I cover my ears, I can hear my heart beating much louder, and that's the only sound we should listen to.

he is 6 foot 2 inches Erika.....................................................................................................!!

Okay, good, then everything I said above still stands. Mh-hm.