It's been 24 hours since I officially signed onto the boycott of buying Skylanders toys until new toys are released... but really, it's been longer than that. I haven't bought a new toy since Nitro Head Rush and Legendary Bushwhack. I'm literally shaking, it's been so long. My bank account has all these extra digits in it that I don't know what to do with. Should I be worried? I haven't seen the friendly faces at Toys R Us in so long. Will they even recognize me? Will they even still be alive? It's been so long.
Any day now, Activision will cave. Or, at least, that's what I tell myself... when I'm lying awake at night, staring at my ceiling, feeling this emptiness inside me grow. Any day now.
I stopped into a Walmart today to buy some toilet paper. I walked by electronics. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself. "It's a waste of time." I told myself. "Be strong." But the call was too strong - like a vacuum, pulling me in.
I saw them. Calling me over. "Come, look! We miss you!"
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Pegs and pegs of Enchanted Hoot Loops.
I stood there, with a Glow in The Dark Sonic Boom that had been encased in a cocoon of packaging tape, holding it tightly to the cardboard backing. "Just one won't hurt. No one would know." I could buy it. It's been so long. I could add her to my collection. Sure, I already have one... but I don't have this rare mummified variant.
I was able to pull myself away. It took all I had, but I did it. Kaos cried "PRESS THE TRAP BUTTON!". I ran, screaming, "Nooooo!". I abandoned my shopping cart full of toilet paper. I pushed it to the side. It may have ran over a little kid. I'm not sure if the screams were his or my own.
Stand stong, fellow Portal Masters. Any day now. Any day.