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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Fandom > Non-Spyro > Gyaogen sagas, Book 1; The Lightning Clashes [Rough draft]
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Gyaogen sagas, Book 1; The Lightning Clashes [Rough draft] [CLOSED]
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#1 Posted: 22:31:00 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Give some feed back and publicity if you like it. If you don't just tell me what I'm screwing up(aside from spelling, I already know about that).


This is the story of a kid. Yes some little kid, thirteen years old. This is the tale of him, his best friends, and a psychopathic turamatised man lizard monster from space. Let's begin shall we?

CHAPTER ONE: The Reaper's birth, prologue

I woke up one particular day, it was a warm morning. I got up and walked out into the hall, not worrying about trivial things such as clothes, I had to much to worry about already. I was in my under armor. I got a few looks from the others when I walked into the war room. The only one who really reacted to it was bro, he laughed at me. "Brother, do you really have to laugh, today of all days?", "Fine, fine. I guess 'Mr. Bigshot' should get a slide for the day of reconing." Ohmurasck, my brother, was only able to reduce his laughter to a smirk. I hated being laughed at for my weak armor. I was ridiculed for my weak armored skin sense Lord Epsilon, our father, cut my head with a claw.

I walked out of the room and back to my appartment, room B-45. I looked in the one mirror. I saw my solid black armor like skin and my spiky bone horns in the back of my head sticking straight up. I sighed and put my clothes on. I put my t-shirt I got from some humanoid species on. I loved this shirt, it had only a blood red color to it, and an omega symbol on it (bottom picture 1). I put my pants on, next. They were just a pair of black jeans with two red stripes, one down the back of each leg.

I walked out of my white box of an appartment. Now my bro was leaning against the wall next to my room. "I'm headed down to the labs. Epsilon wants to see us, head down after breakfast K."he said. I nodded in reply and then watched as he turned to just a blur with his insane speed. I turned and walked down the hall until I came to the dining hall. I walked in, grabbed some chicken noodle soup, and sat at the Royal table. It was a table only the princes (me and bro) and our father, Lord Epsilon, were aloud to sit there. I sat and ate my soup, and that's when Garennal, my girlfriend, sat down. "Hey Ohm how are you?"she asked, "You shouldn't be sitting here Garennal..."I said in response. She seemed agitated, "C'mon, I'm practically part of the family already, Epsilon doesn't even care if I call him dad."

I frowned," You know he's not the one to worry about, it's Lady Psychi."
"It's ok, Mom'll never now." She said with a smile.
"She will if you keep sitting here."
"Jeez, you're no fun."
"I'm a prince, we're not supposed to be fun."
"I heard you weren't wearing anything to the war room today." She kept on smiling.
"Garennal?" I huffed.
"Hey, hey, I'm not jelous. I know you're mine.", she said. I sucked down my whole bowl of soup and stood to leave. "Bro said that I needed to see him in the labs." I said.

I started the walk to the door when she said, "I'm being sent to earth, I was told the planet was supposed to go through the day of reconing." I looked at her and a tear formed in my eye.
"To think, I have to stop someone to protect you and bro. I was always scared this day would come."
"It's ok, I know that if any Ohmarian can do it, it's Prince Ohmarisc."
"I know... It's just, I don't know If I can do it, well, I'll be seein' ya." and with that, I was gone. Out the door, to meet hell itself.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
Edited 13 times - Last edited at 01:27:21 25/08/2011 by spyro glitcher
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#2 Posted: 22:42:19 15/06/2011
It looks nice at first glance, but you may want to improve the spelling.
inb4 "***** *** *** ******"
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 22:42:51 15/06/2011 by semp123
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#3 Posted: 22:44:46 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I know I suck at spelling, but even with spell check I was still unable to fix this...
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#4 Posted: 22:47:04 15/06/2011
Then I guess it's mostly justified.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#5 Posted: 22:48:14 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I know, want chapter two yet, or should I wait?
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
torok Platinum Sparx Gems: 6123
#6 Posted: 22:52:13 15/06/2011
Wrong section, try the Non-Spyro Fandom section.
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#7 Posted: 22:53:34 15/06/2011
^Isn't that more for fanfiction than creative writing?
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 22:54:05 15/06/2011 by semp123
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#8 Posted: 22:54:43 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Well, this isn't fandom. This is original content, I wrote the whole plot myself. From chapter one to the fight with Biohm (a LOOOOOOOOOOONG ways away).
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#9 Posted: 22:58:05 15/06/2011
I made a large mistake while posting that, and forgot the "For" and the "^" in "^Isn't that for fanfiction rather than creative writing" that most likely mislead you.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#10 Posted: 23:00:27 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
To late, the grammar nazis will still kill you...
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#11 Posted: 23:20:21 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Do you know how to write prolauge?
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#12 Posted: 23:21:39 15/06/2011
It's spelled like "Prologue".
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#13 Posted: 23:22:24 15/06/2011 | Topic Creator
CHAPTER TWO: The Reaper is let loose, prologue continued

I walked down the hall, wondering how I would deal with the Reapergan. I walked into the lab, the lights were out. I walked up to the lab table my dad always sat at, it had his normal uncleanly mess of papers on it. He had a red sheet he always left in one spot, it says something to whoever shows up why he isn't here, this time it just said, "Ohm, I will be in in a minute with your brother, just sit and think or something. Make sure to leave the lights out, there is one that's on the fritz and I don't want it going out ok." I set the paper down.

I found a nice comfortable seat on the floor in the corner. I sat and my mind began to wander. Where is my father, and even worse, where is bro. My brother is one of the two Ohmarians I actually like at all, the rest are evil beasts. They are my followers, and yet I get attacked by gangs ten times a week on average. I know how much they hate the royal blood line, having to sit and watch us get spoiled while they are forced to suffer poverty. I do all I can to help, I made a promise to myself that when I succeed my father as Lord Ohmarisc. I will give them harmony, I will solve their problems and poverty. I thought back to my brother.

He was always there when I needed him, he comforted me when mom was killed by Gremm, the supposed "Legendary Ultimate Reapergan". The Legendary Ultimate Reapergan, is the title given to a Reapergan deastened to be only able to die and stay dead to one being. The one who must kill the Legendary Ultimate Reapergan, or LUR as I called it, has an upside down skull birthmark on their body. I don't think Gremm (Grimm) is the LUR, he's too weak. Bro isn't the chosen one, I am, and he was able to nearly beat Gremm last year. He would have died, had mother not gotten in the way of Gremm. My brother comforted me, when he believed he was the one responsible for mom's death.

I nearly cracked when I learned that mom hadn't died of sickness like I had been told, but had died to Gremm. Bro cooled me down after that. I snapped out of my flash back when the lights suddenly turned on. None of them seemed to be flickering. My father walked into the room. "Father, where is bro." I asked worriedly.
"He will be here soon, I'm having some of the doctors down in the second lab bring him here." He said in a level tone.
"Why, he is capable of walking father, he is a prince too. He is even stronger than me."
"Not for long, I have made some 'Changes' to him." The wall shook down. There stood my smiling brother, but something was wrong.
"Father what has happened to him?"
"I have made him crack son, see for yourself." I saw for myself, and what I saw was a monster.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:26:36 15/06/2011 by spyro glitcher
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#14 Posted: 00:30:18 16/06/2011 | Topic Creator
CHAPTER 3: The first day of Reconing, of the new Reaper.

I walked up to brother and saw his eyes were blank, expressionless.
"Bro..." I looked at him, my brother was dead it seemed. Then he lashed at me. His claw tore my face and I was sent flying across the room into father's table. I got up, shocked. His face, it was like their's, the face of a monster. A cold group of monsters was what the Ohmarians were. He walked over to me, I was still on the floor, he looked down on me as if I was pitiful. He bent over, grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, and threw me. Bro was the one person I trusted, he was always warm and nice, even when he made fun of me. How did they do - WHAM! He hit me into the wall, mid flight. I got up and yelled at him, "Brother! Look at this what are you doing! How can you hit me, your little brother?!", He smirked still.
"Brother, you killed mom! It wasn't me, it was you..." He trailed off.
"ME?! It was Gremm!" He wouldn't listen to reason. He was going insane.
"You got in the way, she had to save me, but I wouldn't have needed to be saved if it hadn't have been for you!" He crooked his head to one side.
"Listen, if you hadn't have saved me, you, mom, dad, all of us would be dead! Even ME!" I yelled at him. Our "father" shook his head.
"You'll never live like that. He is bent on killing you. I have warped his mind so that what ever you do you will never be able to convince him not to kill you. Fight or DIE."
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly brother tripped me and grabbed me by the waist an armpit. He lifted me up and slammed my back against his knee.

"GHA-!" It hurt, not near as much as the fact that is was him doing it, beating me. He let go as his knee had hit my spine. I was kept up for a minute, just long enough for him to form a two handed fist and slam it into my gut hard enough for my to hit the ground and leave a small crater. The crater was only as long as my body. I stood up, I was on the brink of furry.
"BRO! I am going to waste you!", I screamed. He smiled and laughed.
"YOU?! A weak, little, spineless, runt of the litter? Beat ME? The future Lord Omuraisck!"
I stood up, and wiped the blood from my stomach where he had hit me. I put my hands together and slowly pulled them apart, unable to use reason to stop myself. I was a wild animal.
"You want power? You want power?! YOU WANT POWER?!" I was a monster now, unable to hold back. Between my foot-apart hands was a ball of lightning. Not just lightning, my signature Red lightning destroyer wave. I was insane with power.
"I WON'T hold back, I have cut loose!" I lifted up my arms, and brought them apart even more. The foot wide ball of electricity had now spread into a sphere of pure energy that took up the whole room. I threw it at the monster my brother had become. He laughed madly.
"That's the spirit!" He and my father said at the same time. I watched as the blast I had thrown engulphed my brother. His arms spazzmed out of control. His body slowly being charred. He stood and laughed at his own grave. He looked at me and told me his last words, "I'm gonna miss ya bro, tell everyone I died to Gremm. Tell them you are innocent. Tell them, I died with honor brother."

With that, my one friend died. My own brother killed by my attack. My father put his arm around me and said, "Do you see your own potential. You killed him in cold blood, if you can do that, just imagine what you can do to a monster like Gremm.", He said with a smile. He had just fourced one son to kill another. I looked at him, a smile spreed across my face.
"I will show him what I can do father." I said with an insane blood thirst growing in the pit of my being. Suddenly the tv switched on. I looked at it, so did my father.

On the screen was a large cloaked figure, Gremm the Reaper. He said in his sadistically evil tone, "Ohm, I think it's time for the reaping, I will not hold back. I will meet you on the capitol building." I grinned, insanity built up inside me. I was gone, faster than I had ever imagined. I was now across from him on the capitol building. He starred at me, I starred at him. He lifted his hand to generate a ball of dark energy.

I was already in his face, eyes locked with his. I was standing on his chest, using my talon like claws to pierce his ribs. "Today I show YOU what I can do." I pointed at him. I lifted him up and kicked him in the gut with my right leg. He coughed up blood. I lifted him up and threw him through the roof of the domed building. I looked at the camera-man and said, "This is the one reaping day that only one person will survive." My smile was crazy. I vanished at my new-found abnormal speed. I was in space now, not needing oxygen because I was an Ohmarian. I lifted my hands again. I held them above my head and created a ball of energy about ten meters wide. "Oh this will never do." I made it bigger, fifty meters. Then a hundred, the two hundred, five hundred, a thousand, two thousand. Now, the final measurement, a mile. I had made a ball of energy that was roughly a mile in width.

I swung my arms forward. All of the gasping, screaming, innocent, evil, and pointless lives, silenced with the sound of the explosion. I smiled at the insanity of it all. I looked around at the emptiness left by my, now almost extinct, race. I saw only one thing, it was heading in the direction to the left of me. It was headed to earth. It was the only remaining member of my race. I was the Reapergan, and that was the flaw in my first Reaping day. My girlfriend.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 01:34:07 16/06/2011 by spyro glitcher
BEST FAN EVER Gold Sparx Gems: 2194
#15 Posted: 08:47:51 16/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
Well, this isn't fandom. This is original content, I wrote the whole plot myself. From chapter one to the fight with Biohm (a LOOOOOOOOOOONG ways away).


okay, Ive written a now nearly published book and plus, this isnt the place to write it. Its spelled prologue, and write it before you put it out
---
I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it then copy and paste this in your signature.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#16 Posted: 18:32:26 16/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I know that prologue is spelled that way now thanks to semp. This is just so I can get things in order, sort of a rough draft of sorts. I wanted to see how people like my ideas. So, what book have you written?
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#17 Posted: 19:12:10 16/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Chapter 4; The Blue lightning elemental's fight, prologue 2.0

"Kid, boss wants his money. Where is it?!" A tall slender figure hissed. The figure was holding a small boy, no older than nine, against a brick wall. "I don't have the money, I'm sorry, I spent it on some games." the boy squeaked. The slender figure raised his hand into the light, it was scaly. He swung his hand down, talon like finger nails extended, to hit the kid. Suddenly there was a teenage boy between the lizard man and the boy. His talons broke on the teen's head. The lizard man stepped, or should I say stumbled, back in fear. He stumbled into the light.

He was wearing an overcoat, jeans, and a red t-shirt. He was trembling, he was scaly, he was also green. He was the rank ten Talon-gang member, Rackol. The boy, who had been being held to the wall, thanked the teen and ran. Rackol asked the boy in a trembling voice, "Who... who, or what are you?" The teen grinned, stepping into the light. "I'm Zack, Zack Voldres."

"No way, there is no way 'you' were the one who beat Rackol and won." Someone interrupted me. It was the teacher, I had gotten so enthralled in my tale of fighting Rackol that I had somehow attracted the teacher into listening to the story. I slipped off of my desk onto the floor and said with a smile, "No way, you say? I am the lightning elemental! Rage, back me up here. You have seen my true strength haven't you?" I asked my friend, he didn't seem to interested in the story. He lifted his head at the mention of his name and said "What? I was thinking about that time we lost to Meyhem."

Half of the classes' jaws dropped. Taking on Meyhem is something only a fool would do. He is the number one rank in the Talon-gang. It's true that we took him on, and he even accepted. He only accepts truly powerful fighters to a fight. We fought him for about ten minutes, then he some how managed to get me trapped in Rage's "Super Inferno Wave", an attack that only he is able to use, being the black fire elemental. Black fire is a fire that endlessly generates from one point, unless the flame is extinguished at that one point it will burn indefinitely. I was the only person who has ever taken one of Rage's "Super Inferno Wave's" and lived to tell about it. I barely lived through that one, I was in the hospital for three months.

"Yeah, we took on Mehem, then Rage here got me in a flame-induced trip to the E.R.", I said, still peeved at my friend. He shrugged and said, "That is one, quick lizard. We would have had him if you hadn't have been thrown in the way of the 'Super Inferno Wave'." He was right, naturally, but it pissed me off to no end that I was the reason we lost. The class was having trouble accepting the fact that I, Zack Voldres the weak little nerd, and Rage, the under concerned red lizard, had challenged Mehem. We lost of course, but we had still challenged him.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#18 Posted: 00:44:47 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Chapter 4 cont.; The blue lightning elemental's fight, Prologue 2.0

"Hey, if you two took on Mehem, then tell us about the fight.", one, particular, little fan of ours begged. Her name was Larenn, not Lauren, Larenn. Larenn was my favorite of our circle of friends, aside from Rage, she was the strongest fighter I knew. I wasn't afraid of her, so much, but afraid of her potential. She was stronger than most of the fighters around, if she just joined me and Rage, the three of us would be unbeatable. I smiled and looked down at her. I was standing on a desk this whole time. "I will little miss." I said mockingly, knowing she was only a tad bit shorter than me. She usually went into a frenzy if someone called her short, she didn't even mind if I did. "So, me and Rage saw Mehem on one of his trips around town, he blew up a local bank's door. He sent in twenty of his solders in, some of his eliet guards. Me and Rage snuk in the back. All of the solders that came out, was one. He just stumbled out. So me and Rage walked out of the building's crumbling front. Mehem just glared at us with his narrow solid red eyes. Then, he asked our names, I said 'I'm Zack Voldres, just who the h@ll do you think I am?' Rage grinned and said in a cocky tone 'I'm the black flame elemental, Ragenald Verdes'. Mehem shot right at us, the battle had started."

Everyone was transfixed on me, Rage excluded. He didn't want to hear about our grand failure again. I was to busy caught up in my tale of heroics to sense the Kitos (Kitos- the measurement of power, one kitos is the average REAL human kitos. Six to seven kitos is the average kitos here) that was headed on its way to earth. "So I dodged to the side, Rage spun and tried to limbo under Mehem's claws. He did, and then he shot his foot up, kicking Mehem so hard that Mehem flipped in mid air. Mehem had to land on the wall of the building to stop himself. He shot back, this time he was aiming at me. Wrong move, I used my kitos to compress the sewer cap I had landed on. I fell down tward the sewer, he didn't have time to stop. I grabbed the edges of the whole, and when he shot over me, WHAM! I shot up. I rammed my head into his gut! He spun in mid air and landed, sliding on his back and tail across the street. He stopped and got up, too late. Rage was already upon him. FWAM! Rage slammed his head into the street. Mehem pushed himself slightly up, Rage still holding him down by the head. Mehem was face down. He shot a blast of fire from his mouth, he charred a huge portion of the road. He used his own fire breath to rocket himself and Rage into the air. They spun in mid air. Mehem kicked Rage's jaw, Rage went spiraling down, slamming his face into the pavement. Mehem was totally focused on the fight with Rage. I used a large portion of my kitos to pick up a car. I threw the car right at Mehem. Mehem looked over at me just too late. He noticed the car and tried to dodge it.

He was to slow, it hit him in the leg. It splintered his bones. Rage was now back on his feet. Rage started preparing his 'Super Inferno Wave'. He lifted the compressed ball of black fire above his head. He threw it, but I hadn't noticed what he was doing. I dove at Mehem with all of my remaining strength. He grabbed me mid flight, he swung me to the side of him, just fast enough to put me directly in the way of Rage's 'Super Inferno Wave'. It forced me to black out from the power and pain put into it. Mehem's remaining solder grabbed him while I was down. Rage didn't have time to get the solder, so he just grabbed me and carried me to the nearest hospital." The class was trained on me. Rage was staring out the window, he was focused on something. He was focused on Garennal.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
BEST FAN EVER Gold Sparx Gems: 2194
#19 Posted: 03:53:26 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
I know that prologue is spelled that way now thanks to semp. This is just so I can get things in order, sort of a rough draft of sorts. I wanted to see how people like my ideas. So, what book have you written?


I told you, this isnt the place. I have written Whitecraft, which is the first book in the Alarian series (of 6 books).
- 700 A4 pages, size 12.
- About 38 chapters

very good reviews from the people who have read it.

Now please, post it where its meant to be smilie
---
I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it then copy and paste this in your signature.
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#20 Posted: 04:03:57 17/06/2011
It doesn't belong in "Fandom".
It's not a fanfic.
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163
#21 Posted: 04:35:05 17/06/2011
It belongs in the Non-Spyro area.
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer
semp123 Emerald Sparx Gems: 3232
#22 Posted: 04:38:14 17/06/2011
Again, it's not a fanfic.
It's creative writing.
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163
#23 Posted: 04:49:09 17/06/2011
Yeah, which is where Non-Spyro-related stories go.
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer
BEST FAN EVER Gold Sparx Gems: 2194
#24 Posted: 05:22:17 17/06/2011
Quote: semp123
Again, it's not a fanfic.
It's creative writing.


He's right you. Non-Spyro. For writing, that is non-spyro.

Tis is idle chatter, where we discuss. Not things like a book.
---
I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it then copy and paste this in your signature.
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163
#25 Posted: 05:50:32 17/06/2011
You can discuss about publishing a book, but don't put the book itself here.
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#26 Posted: 06:28:17 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
This is not the book itself, this is the rough draft, to see how people react to it. And in the non-spyro section, there is meant to be only non-spyro fandom. This is not non-spyro fandom. I wish there was somewhere else I could put this, but there isn't. I have no where else to post this. I suppose, if you want, we could take this up with dark52.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#27 Posted: 06:29:05 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
This is not the book itself, this is the rough draft, to see how people react to it. And in the non-spyro section, there is meant to be only non-spyro fandom. This is not non-spyro fandom. I wish there was somewhere else I could put this, but there isn't. I have no where else to post this. I suppose, if you want, we could take this up with dark52.



This?
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163
#28 Posted: 06:30:52 17/06/2011
1. Go to figment.com. That's where stories that aren't fandom go.

2. No, we don't need to take this with dark52 because:

#1: He wouldn't care

#2: It's pointless especially since others agree with me that this doesn't go here.

#3: Even if he did care, he would agree with me.
---
OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 06:31:05 17/06/2011 by Fireball
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#29 Posted: 06:32:28 17/06/2011
Quote: Fireball
1. Go to figment.com. That's where stories that aren't fandom go.

2. No, we don't need to take this with dark52 because:

#1: He wouldn't care

#2: It's pointless especially since others agree with me that this doesn't go here.

#3: Even if he did care, he would agree with me.



Is it really that big of a deal?
Isn't there better things to do then argue about this?
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#30 Posted: 06:36:44 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I just want to post it somewhere there aren't a thousand and two different stories. If I did move this over to the non-spyro section, someone would argue that it doesn't go there. I'm a yellow sparx too, and I have gotten into many wars via internet (most notable being a full scale war on minecraft with a nine year old, it was re-freaking-diculous, he killed my cousin and stole pretymuch everything everyone had) gtg.
---
Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#31 Posted: 06:37:46 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
I just want to post it somewhere there aren't a thousand and two different stories. If I did move this over to the non-spyro section, someone would argue that it doesn't go there. I'm a yellow sparx too, and I have gotten into many wars via internet (most notable being a full scale war on minecraft with a nine year old, it was re-freaking-diculous, he killed my cousin and stole pretymuch everything everyone had) gtg.



Woulden't this be considered fandom?
Cause it seems like it to me.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#32 Posted: 06:45:16 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
It's not, this is completely developed from scratch. I have not been inspired by anything to do this (well Dbz made me want this to be an anime, and Cirque du freak inspired me to make it a story instead of a manga by default, it also inspired the whole prologue with Ohm).
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#33 Posted: 06:47:46 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
It's not, this is completely developed from scratch. I have not been inspired by anything to do this (well Dbz made me want this to be an anime, and Cirque du freak inspired me to make it a story instead of a manga by default, it also inspired the whole prologue with Ohm).


Ah...
But isn't this Ideal Chatter - Any non-spyro chat?
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#34 Posted: 06:50:29 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
This is categarized (misspelled) under off topic. Non-spyro is under fandom. This IS NOT fandom.
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#35 Posted: 06:52:13 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
This is categarized (misspelled) under off topic. Non-spyro is under fandom. This IS NOT fandom.



Ah.. Okay.
Still i don't think it maters.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#36 Posted: 06:57:17 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
It doesn't matter where this topic is, as long as it makes some sense. So, what do you think of the story so far?
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
BlackNight12 Gold Sparx Gems: 2343
#37 Posted: 07:06:51 17/06/2011
spyro glitcher... simply just pick.smilie either keep it here and continue writing it and just ignore the others. or move it and get it over with. arguing the point isn't going to do anything.
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Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble! - Taylor Swift
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#38 Posted: 07:12:07 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I completely understand the futility in arguments like this, I just get caught up in them so easily. I guess I'm gonna keep it here. I'm reading Twokinds right now, so I'll be a little slow with the next chapter (it'll be up later tonight). Also, what are your thoughts so far on the book?
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:22:53 17/06/2011 by spyro glitcher
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#39 Posted: 07:23:47 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
I completely understand the futility in arguments like this, I just get caught up in them so easily. I guess I'm gonna keep it here. I'm reading Twokinds right now, so I'll be a little slow with the next chapter (it'll be up later tonight). Also, what are your thoughts so far on the book?


You actually read that?
Yor awesome!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#40 Posted: 07:24:12 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
It doesn't matter where this topic is, as long as it makes some sense. So, what do you think of the story so far?



Yeah i agree.

So far i like it! smilie
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#41 Posted: 07:44:44 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Chapter 5; The message of the race's last hope

Rage had to spit a ball of fire that nearly light my head ablaze to get my attention, he never used words to get my attention. He pointed out the window once I made sure my head wasn't on fire. I looked out at a red cylinder like object. The whole class followed my gaze, everyone starred as a terrified Ohmarian woman stepped out. I starred too. The Ohmarian species is a sign of pure doom if one lands usually. There are no recordings in history that tell of a female Ohmarian. I stood, and so did Rage. I nodded at him, he understood. He called to the class," Everyone to the other side of the building." The teacher stood too and asked,"What right do you posses to tell us to move on, you are not an athority."
"If you want twenty three percent of your skeleton in tact by the end of the day you will do as I say." Mr. Yanger, or teacher, started arguing irritably. I walked slowly out the door, and down the halls. I came out side and walked over to the window and knocked on it, the whole class turned to me, Rage cocked a grin and started running at the window. I knew exactly what he was planning.

He shot a wave of flame though the window before he hit it. He heated the window to melting temperature, he slipped right through the liquidized glass. He landed on a small patch of grass. He stood and turned to the cylinder, there were now about ten gaurdian warriors gathered around it. Guardian Warriors are the police that protect solely against Ohmarians. I walked up to the group first and one of the said, "Hey, kid get back! This is no place for a child. What is your name?"
"Zack Voldres, the blue lightning elemental." at that, Garrenal's head shot up from the crowd cylinder.
"Did you say, Blue lightning?"
"Yes ma'am. Why do you ask?"
"My boyfriend is the red lightning elemental, he is headed here to kill you all." she said in a frenzy before the GW's pinned her down with so many guns that she was hard pressed to breath. Rage broke the crowd saying, "Who did you say that was, and why only one Ohmarian? Don't Ohmarians usually come in groups of ten to twenty?"
"He was supposed to protect the Ohmarian world from a Reapergan named Gremm. For some reason, he snapped. He just... just... blew the whole planet up, in one fail swoop."
The head GW's voice parted the troops, "Did you say, the 'whole' planet."
"Yes, all of the Ohmarians were dead. He made a blast that I would say was roughly a mile in diameter, he just threw it at the planet. He is the Reapergan Supreme. He is the 'Legendary Ultimate Reapergan'."
"And he is headed here?"
"He will be here in about a year, it took me a week traveling at roughly fifty times his speed."
"And why come here?"
"Because the blue lightning elemental's energy is enough to be felt from my planet when the red lightning elemental goes insane. I know because it's happened once before, also, I was assigned to come here to receive the D.N.A. of the blue lightning elemental." I blushed at that last one. She collapsed on the ground. I looked up into the sky. So, the Legendary Ultimate Reapergan wants a fight?
"Let him come, I can take him." I said, though I could already feel his kitos approaching.
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#42 Posted: 07:46:15 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
I just started reading Twokinds. I'm hooked so far. I have to say, I should really stop reading and watching movies before I write. It really makes it hard to make my plot move in the intended direction.
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#43 Posted: 07:50:03 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
I just started reading Twokinds. I'm hooked so far. I have to say, I should really stop reading and watching movies before I write. It really makes it hard to make my plot move in the intended direction.



I have read all of it and i love it! smilie

But yes i agree about the second part because it makes your mind occupied elsewhere and it becomes really hard to keep your story.
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#44 Posted: 07:55:33 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Actually, I was more concerned about how the themes of things influence my thought prosses for short spans of time, making writing naturally more difficult. I just sort of let my mind wander when I write. Thus all of the spelling errors.
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#45 Posted: 07:56:46 17/06/2011
Quote: spyro glitcher
Actually, I was more concerned about how the themes of things influence my thought prosses for short spans of time, making writing naturally more difficult. I just sort of let my mind wander when I write. Thus all of the spelling errors.



Yeah that makes sense.
I always spell something wrong! smilie
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#46 Posted: 07:59:08 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
Lol nvm, next chapter coming right up.
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:59:28 17/06/2011 by spyro glitcher
BEST FAN EVER Gold Sparx Gems: 2194
#47 Posted: 08:14:05 17/06/2011
This doesn't belong here. Just remove it already... And anything published here is always a rough draft. As for my book, I just did it in fan-fic and no-one cares really.
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I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it then copy and paste this in your signature.
arceustheprime Ripto Gems: 5362
#48 Posted: 08:15:32 17/06/2011
And no one cares about it not belonging here so quit whining.
SpyroVSGanon100 Ripto Gems: 94
#49 Posted: 08:15:32 17/06/2011
Quote: BEST FAN EVER
This doesn't belong here. Just remove it already... And anything published here is always a rough draft. As for my book, I just did it in fan-fic and no-one cares really.



Ok i am not trying to be mean, but can you just stop asking to move it?
Cause he is not going to do it.
Even if it does not belong here, there is no point in telling him to move it.

Where is it?
spyro glitcher Gold Sparx Gems: 2401
#50 Posted: 08:18:03 17/06/2011 | Topic Creator
BFE, what do you think about this story? I haven't heard a word about your opinion on the story. I have also posted this on that other site you told me about (idr the name).
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Toonami is comin' back! WOOP!
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