darkSpyro

hope u enjoy it
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chapter 1~where we begin

As small black egg and a small yellow egg's hatched as brooke and death the perents standed anchously awating the birth of there childrin.Brooke standed in front as death standed in the back finally there children where born they named the black one moon and the yellow one light for there twinkling eyes.A few years later moon and light where 3 years old and out of the den running about moon nor light knew what was going to happenin the futuer nor did there perents.Moon and light where the best of sisters they never let eachother down or lied to each other.Moon and light where teen's soon they had to make a deciton to leave or go out of the den for life.Moon got to pick what place she was going to "i pick out of the den for life" next light "so do i".As moon and light left thier perents they began to wonder what was going to happen if evil roes and they where not there.Suddenly ther was a huge boom moon and light looked behind each other and there was phantom.Moon screamed"PHANTOM GET OUT'A HERE "as light flew up to phantom and tried to breath electricty but was not old enough they had to be teenagers.
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im going to give u the next chapter soon.

lol... Interesting.... Completely ignoring grammmer and everything.... But.... Ironicly it follows all of the important rules of good writing while missing most of the more fundemental....

I think I'll read on tommorow once I post Chapter 7 of Spyro's Legacy II.

The grammar is much better.

sure is!!!

Definatly and it isnt so unbelivable. I think this really could be a good story.

You've definatly worked on plot, it's just spelling and grammer now, though that has inproved also.

THANXthat meens alot comming from u guyz im gonna get started on the place where i left of so here i go oh look at the first chapter again i finshed it

Great job, death horn! You've certainly gone up a bit!

thanx im done with the scond chapter now

chapter 2~the hunt
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When light tried to breath electricty but she couldent but moon was 1 day older than light .So moon flew up to phantom and used shaddow and phantom was gone for now.Death and brooke herd the ruckas and ran out of the den wondering what had just happend.Moon and light told them the story death and brooke under stood so they went back down into the den and went to sleep.Moon and light went hunting for the first time alone they knew how to hunt but all the other times the had the help of there perents.Befor long they saw a ferrot so moon jolted and caught it light still had to find her dinner.Light saw a deer she jolted and caught it and said"so much for hunger and bon-apetet".Moon stared at light with her jaw dropped and said"HEY NO FAIR YOU ARE YOUNGER THAN ME AND YOU GET THE BIGGER MEAL!!!!!!!!!!" moon started to chase light until light lost her catch and moon got it.Poor light with out food she decided to fly away at the crack of dawn when her sister goes to bed.
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this one i liked better what do u guyz think and im still workin on the next chapter

Good improvement!

thanx im almost done with the 3rd chapter

You have improved.

She's not the only one that's improved... I have yet to see one nasty comment on this story.

well i doubt that will happen and here is chapter 3
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chapter 3~light's ascape
As dawn roes moon fell and light roes again to fly away light took off in a great journy to find her self within.Light was flying for atleast 7 hours and her wings where so tired she had to rest and stop flying for a long time.Moon woke up 9 hours after the sunset and dident see light she yelled and no reply so moon started to get woried so she took off in serch of light.Light was asleep when the sun roes again and moon did not see light so she flew home to tell there perents.As moon flew home phantom was yet to be reveld he was more powerfull than befor moon came to a stop and listend she screamed"PHANTOM I KNOW YOUR HERE SO GET OUT AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!!!"phantom repled:as you wish my dear".A huge puff of smoke came out of no where moon became drowsy and she said"what is this phantom*cough*"huuuu phantom.moon was horrified it was not phantom it was light"LIGHT NOOOOO" and then phantom apperd and was a magniffecent he swooped down and moon unleshed a horrifing scream.
all will be reveild in the next chapter

awesome story Death horn x3

thanx im almost done with cp 4

Awesome story death horn.

thanx i done with cp 4
chapter 4~the darkest time
When moon unleshed the scream a portal to a world unknown opend and all started to be devourd along with moon,light,and phantom.Brooke and death herd them they ran out only to see moon and light haning on to a strand of string hoping to not die.Brooke and death flew over to moon and light and picked them up.But nor did they no light now has a dark side and moon has a light side and the portal was stil open and then flew out the new and more powerfull than befor phantomoxiss a brother of deoxiss and then he summond deoxiss to help him defet them and make them regret this.As deoxiss flew up to phantomoxiss brooke and death said"kidz go.............let us take care of them"and then brooke and moon said"NO WE ARE NOT LEAVING YOUR SIDE WE CAUSED THIS GO!!!!!!!!NOW!!!!!!*but then they all started there furyes and moon and light had the crystal fury and brooke and death had the scortch fury.WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*said phantomoxiss and deoxiss.But they dident know it caused a dark time and made the furyes become crystals and they where traped forever it was said.
i will give you the next topic it will be called the legend of moon and light~time can die.so look out for it k

lol kidz? seriously, you couldn't move a space upwards from z to s?

he heer....... is eney one gonna read my next topic the legend of moon and light~time can die???

I will. I admit, this story actually wasn't that bad, Death Horn.

thanx but is eney one gonna read time can die

when I get time.

k ill wait

NICE....

thanx