darkSpyro

Glory looked at the castle.it was her first time.the dark dragons were flying top of the castle.one of them shouted at her:what are u waitin' for?!go in!
Glory quickly flied with them.they kicked
Her in.
one of them started:
For the last time,
Where is he?
- i don't know!
- oh, yes u know.
Glory looked at the voice.

glory whisperd: sister...
her only sister was in enemy army.
her sister loved power crazily,So she came in enemy army.
-she wouldn't help me.
glory thought.glory was so weak for fighting,she looked at her sister necklace.she could see the power in it ...
glory started:
-Ok,I'll tell you.
her sister smiled.
-he's in hmmhommm...
-WHAT?!
-come closer.
-ok...
glory touch the necklace quickly and feel the power.dark dargons ran quickly to her.her sister yelled:
-You FOOL!get her!
glory flied out of the castle.then she seems that she's falling down and screamed.darkdragons flied down.glory smiled and went up.nobody saw her.
glory looked at the power necklace and laughed,she didn't know that is going dark.

Good start

I think you need to put the speech in speech marks to make it clear

ok,thanks.
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50 years later
"Get him!"
"thief!"
"My stone!"
acute laughed and ran away.he looked the stone he rubbed it from castle,Now he could give it to another castle.yes,that was his job.he arrived to the dark castle.a very big black dragon looked at the stone:
"more?"
"It's not for you,for king"
The dragon yelled:
"I know!I mean...do you have a strange necklace?"
acute smiled:
"ok,I'll search my home... and..."
"and what?!"
"you know,It's so hard to search my house and I don't know how is the necklace and..."
five gold coins fell on the acute hand:
"Yes,my maestay."
black dragon roared:
"Now get lost in the castle."
"You mean king has gotten lost in the castle?!"
the dragon shouted:
"SHUT UP!!!!!BEFORE I KILL YOU!"
acute got lost in the castle.

acute arrived at home.
"hmm,a necklace..."
"Hello,acute"
acute looked back.A white female dragon was smiling to him.
"Cloud!"
"yesssssssssss,look what I found in the north castle."
she show him some jewrly.
acute mumbled:
"do you know any necklace there?"
cloud looked confused:
"no,why?!"
"Oh.nothing,nothing..."
cloud screamed:
"Look!two solider dragons!"
they hided quickly.
soliders passed the house.
"that was close..."
acute said silently.still thinking to the necklace...

Good!

I look foward to next chapter

cloud was flying with acute to the north castle.
acute repeat the map quickly for cloud:
"look,u go to the soliders room and say u want a job,then if I was late ,collapse.I'll hit the wall,if my map has finished,Ok?"
cloud smiled:
"Ok."
She knew how can she use her beuty.they went to the castle and acute went to the main room.cloud went to the soliders room,opened the door hardly and smiled.everyone were laughing and talking but when she came...quiet.
"Oh my gosh"
she thought.