darkSpyro

This is a thread where you can post your original characters and get help making them the best they can be! We'll (Just me for now) help fix problems and elongate descriptions and backstories.

RULES:
*This is not a place to come and have someone make an OC for you! I'm sure you've got ideas in there somewhere!
*We will not do all the work for you! We can give suggestions but it's up to you to make the decisions. It is your character after all!
*Fan Characters(ie. your own Harry Potter wizard.) are alright, but try and come up with your own character and your own world. Remember, OC's come higher on my list of helping than FC's
*This can also be a place, after you complete corrections and make a beautiful character, to keep your character sheet for further uses and easy access when applying to an rp!

I'm gonna go ahead and start us off, since I need some help too. I'm probably gonna need to move this onto a second post, cause it's really long!

Name: Ayla
Age: She appears to be an adolescent dragon of about 14 years(In Earth years, about 17 years), but she is truly 115 years(In Earth years, about 118 years).
Gender: Female
Species/Race: Ram'rae(ram-uh-ray)
History:
Ayla was born to a secret race high in the mountains - a race that spends all their time worshipping their god. Ayla was special - she was the only girl. In this race, there is no need for a mother or a father. The egg appears one night in the hatchery, and it is taken care of until hatching.
There had been a prophecy, 11 years prior, that a special egg would appear and give forth a hero to the world, a hero of their race. That hero would be the Ram'rae, a legendary hero who would come forth as a beacon of hope in a sea of shadows and turmoil. This race had anticipated the arrival of a hero for 11 years, but no special eggs appeared, and no hatchlings showed any potential heroism. They began to lose hope.
And then came the special hatchling they had been waiting for. It was cold winter night, and the wind was howling in everyone's mane. It was the rare triple moon - all three moons were full and bright in the sky. The moons all alligned over the small hole in the hatchery roof. And then, Ayla.
Ayla was raised like royalty - much to her dismay. She had been trained in the secret ways of summoning light energy - a skill only taught to the best f the best among her race. As time went on, her potential began to show as she began to become both a better fighter and helper. Of course, she was not excluded from the extensive prayer her kind did. Every morning and evening, she went to the temple to bow her head in silent prayer for over an hour, then return to her training.
This did not sit well with Ayla. She wanted to be free and out there, doing what she was supposed to do, being what she was supposed to be. After 13 years of rigorous prayer and training, she finally broke free and hurtled from the mountain tops head-first, eager to see the world.
Ayla went on two journeys - each their own and each oppopsite the other. There was a gap of 101 years between the two. Over time, Ayla learned that he world had changed. She learned that maybe the 13 years she spent in the mountains training her heart out weren't so bad after all.
She doesn't return to her place of origin anymore though. Ayla has left the past behind her. She learned to never look back. If she did, the past would drag her down.
Personality: Ayla has a fierce, fiery spirit, but she's not the mean kind. She's also very stubborn. When she gets an idea in her mind that's she going to do something, she's going to do it. It's hard to keep her from doing things she wants. She's ambitious, but she nows her values too. She's very kind-hearted and is willing to give everyone a second chance - unless you prove yourself unworthy the first time. She is known to be playful, and is often caught joining in the games that village children play. She's always willing to sacrifice small things like food to keep others happy. That's her flaw. She's too generous and kind, and sometimes, that can get her in sticky situations.
Powers: Her main elemental alignment is light. She can conjure small balls of light and shoot beams of light, but she prefers to use her ram-like horns to smash into enemies. Using her light energy exhasutes her quickly, so she does her best to avoid using those powers. Her weakness is water. She has never learned to swim and probably never will. If she is facing an enemy of the water-allignment, then she is at the disadvantage.
Appearance: http://imgur.com/FWsKL (This is my own artwork.)
Ayla has pink, thin fur. Her wings have the appearance of angel wings and are mainly white, but are pink along the top and pale beigh at the bottom tips. Her eyes are a golden and her snout has the appearance almost of the snout of a dog. Her horns curve backwards and are golden too. Her long tail is tipped in a double pyramid.


So, ummm. do you think this history is too long?

uh, yesh, WAAAY TOO LONG!

Quote: NINJAsk11

uh, yesh, WAAAY TOO LONG!

^No, that's actually a good length. It provides a detailed backstory that should obviously shape the character as she is being played. My comment is that she kind of seems too much like a central character with the whole being the savior by turning into the Crystallia thing as well as the prophecy thing 'hero' thing. It wouldn't really work into an RP unless the RP is centered around her. But it's a nice setting you've set up there, and although her personality is a bit cliché, I'd give it a 6.7/10.

for me its long
i like a straight story, not one detailed
maby you are a reader type but i am not

Quote: Dragon-outcast

Quote: NINJAsk11

uh, yesh, WAAAY TOO LONG!

^No, that's actually a good length. It provides a detailed backstory that should obviously shape the character as she is being played. My comment is that she kind of seems too much like a central character with the whole being the savior by turning into the Crystallia thing as well as the prophecy thing 'hero' thing. It wouldn't really work into an RP unless the RP is centered around her. But it's a nice setting you've set up there, and although her personality is a bit cliché, I'd give it a 6.7/10.

Thanks d_o. She's actually the main character in a book/story/something I'm working on, and that's what happens to her in the story. Kinda like AngelicBeast and Flame. As for her personality, I'll work on it.

oh well, this thread is hany anywhayt! thanks
(but i keep my stories a little shorter)

Quote: NINJAsk11

oh well, this thread is hany anywhayt! thanks
(but i keep my stories a little shorter)

It's usually better when it's longer. Just saying. :/

i am not a long post poster.....

I take it this isn't a very good idea?

Here, have a post I made in an RP recently, slightly modified. Would certainly save me a whole lot of writing, hehe.

Name: Kane

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Appearance: A volcano-sky dragon hybrid. http://laurel-tree.deviantart....Sheet-220053488 (old reference sheet is kinda bleh, but all info is accurate. Only important thing is his armor now only partially covers his neck and tail. He can also change his wing membranes' color between black and the transparent stained glass effect.) He has a human form that is (rather predictably) an 18 year old male with black hair and golden eyes.

Where/When are they from?: Medieval-esque era, where volcano dragons are often in conflict with northern ice dragons, and dragons can unlock their magical potential if they have a rider. Magic, while formerly prominent in the world, is steadily fading. Dragons are one of the last strongholds of magic, but even theirs has lessened over time. The main deity of the world is a phoenix, while the "devil" figure is a black snake. Either a dragon, or human, or both receive a Calling (a name given to the sensation of being drawn to a partner), which they can choose to answer to become a dragon and rider pair. Kane lived with a small colony of volcano dragons on a volcanic island until finding a rider of his own; they have since traveled to various lands honing their skills as a team.

Personality: Kane was a docile, if a bit socially insecure, child. He enjoyed reading and adventuring, until his best friend was killed by one of the ice dragons. His life took on a more serious tone at that point; the militaristic volcano dragons made him one of their soldiers, and he adopted many of their cultural traits, including the view that theirs was a superior species (though whether or not he truly believes that is debatable). Nevertheless, he acts superior and habitually measures the value of others in their strength. He tends to keep a tight control over his emotions, making it rare to see him truly enraged or in any other extreme emotional state. However, he is terrified of water and cannot swim. The most common emotion he hides is his fear of battle.

Strengths: Kane's armor cannot be removed since it is comprised of modified scales, and even his regular scales offer strong protective capabilities. His element is a form of fire that also has control over heat, so he is immune to fire and heat-based attacks and can readily absorb a heat source for his own use. He stores the energy in his specialized scales for later use. When properly sharpened, his claws are as sharp as obsidian and can be used for both attacking and digging. His limbs are well-muscled and able to deliver harsh blows. The sky dragon wings he possesses are also powerful, capable of impressive aerial maneuvering, especially for a creature of his size and weight.

Weaknesses: While strong, Kane's legs are relatively short, so their reach is limited. His hybrid nature also comes with a price: He was born with a condition in his wing muscles that causes them damage when they are excessively strained. His irremovable armor makes flying even more of a chore. He must take caution to not to overexert himself in the air, or he can severely, and even permanently, damage his muscles. His main sources of heat energy are magma and sunlight, so being stripped of either of these resources limits his firepower. If he loses all his heat energy, he will die. This makes him especially vulnerable to ice magic. He sinks like a rock in water and tends to panic when submerged.

Other: The last resort of a volcano dragon who is out of heat energy is to take their human form, since humans are endothermic creatures. When using stored heat energy, it is conducted along Kane's body to the desired point of release, where it becomes fire upon contact with the air. Applications of this power include fire breath and fiery swipes of the claws and tail. He can also transfer heat energy to anything he touches, albeit this technique requires careful training to both maximize the effect and keep it under control. One way to stabilize the effect is to dig teeth or claws into an opponent, facilitating a controlled and powerful delivery of thermal energy by streamlining the point of entry.

Neither volcano, northern ice, nor sky dragons are known to have had riders at any point in history. That Kane is a volcano/sky dragon hybrid who possesses one is a point of mystery. His rider is a 17 year old girl named Maia.

Very,very good. Might I suggest a portion about his history and life before his friend died? Also, does his armour have any kind of attack that can potentially penetrate through to him?

Absolutely! I suppose I was a bit afraid that my first post was getting a little bloated n__n;

As a child, he tended to be a quiet loner, not particularly because he was looked down upon for being a hybrid (the volcano dragons are more quick to judge on strength than appearance), but more because he couldn't keep up with the other dragons his age in the volcanoes due to his unusual body shape (the others are shaped more like crocodiles to facilitate swimming in lava and fitting through narrow passageways) and huge wings. His parents didn't mind because they disagreed with the militaristic values of the others, so he was often left to his own devices. Because he could fly well for such a young dragon, he ended up traveling away from the island to a nearby city, where he came upon an expansive library inhabited by a rather eccentric hippogriff named Marcus. Marcus taught the young Kane to appreciate knowledge and books, a trait not necessarily valued by the volcano dragons, and he returned to that library often (in human form, of course) to receive Marcus' lessons and read books, being fond adventure novels and tales of old. When not away, Kane would most likely be found napping or otherwise relaxing underneath his favorite tree on his home island.

Two young volcano dragons, the brother and sister pair Aden and Ciara, noticed Kane's unusual behavior and became interested in exploring with him. Since juvenile volcano dragons are clumsy fliers at best, the trio instead ventured all over the island together, bonding all the while (One might even say that Kane and Ciara had a bit of a crush on each other.) One day, while the group relaxing at dusk underneath Kane's favorite tree, a lone ice dragon ambushed them. Kane began escaping quickly with his impressive wings, so the intruder instead attacked Ciara. Despite her pleas for help, Kane was too afraid to turn back and flew off. Knowing the two of them were no match, Aden stayed behind, defending his sister and allowing her escape. He was killed, and it is still unclear why the ice dragon showed up alone and attacked them, as the island was a fairly remote territory of the volcano dragons.

After discovering that his best friend had died, Kane turned to the truculent ways of his brethren for repentance. While Ciara aligned more with the thought of revenge, Kane sought atonement, and both became engrossed in volcano dragon culture to prepare for fighting the ice dragons. Kane gained a bit of bravery but still must hide his fear of battle. Ciara, however, knows his true nature and still disdains him for abandoning her and her brother despite his accomplishments as a warrior. After receiving his Calling, Kane was pressured by the others to find his rider so that he would become a powerful weapon to use against their enemies.


The armor on Kane's back is metallic and tough, but not invincible. Like any armor, a sufficient force from a structurally sound blunt or sharpened object can crush or pierce it. The armor can't really protect him from elemental attacks other than fire, being especially vulnerable to ice since that is where his thermal energy is stored. Being a good conductor is also great for manipulating his heat energy but not exactly a fantastic trait for defending against electric attacks, either. It can offer some protection from the earth element, but can only do so much to avoid being crushed. The armor on his belly is more conductive, but far thinner than the armor on his back and thus more vulnerable. He also has many exposed areas unprotected by armor (though I haven't updated his ref to include that).

Dmcrocks, this is a great idea! There should be a mix of experienced and new RPers, so the newbies can learn from the pro's.


Quote: AngelicBeast

Dmc I very much like your character! She seems really interesting :3
I like her personality, and her appearance is rather cute >w<

This topic seems like a nice idea. People who make characters that aren't just made for one RP can easily use this topic, good job :3

I might make a post about one of mine soon (you know who~) if I can over come my shyness.

You should take this opportunity. You're a very talented writer and artist, and the RPer's here would be inspired by you and try to build up their experience.
Plus, I've noticed that you were having trouble finding a RP that was compatible with your characters. I understand that kind of frustration; most of my RP's die before they even start.


I'm probably going to sit this one out and leave it to the pro's. I was planning on creating another RP of my own, anyways(if it doesn't die before it's even posted )

I have a pic right here of my OC:

Hmm....actually, I realize that there may be some conflict with opinions and facts if someone posts an OC here, because they wouldn't know the context the OC is coming from.

For example, if I was to put a character from lets sayyy....Fairy Tail. (I actually am still formulating a character from that show) I have a FT character, but if I post it here, most of you will think this character is WAY overpowered and even godmoddy. But what you guys wouldn't understand is that every character in the anime Fairy Tail has tremendous strength. It's like Avatar TLA powers 200x better. It just is. Some of the bad guys and good guys in that show have an insane amount of magical ability and never seem to run outta steam.

Now, I'm not saying you should shut this down, but perhaps as the person posting the OC, maybe give us a little background and context of what kind of world this character is going to be in perhaps above the character. Just a short summary will do, and it would really help.

Another thing, readers, be as much unbiased as possible. Try to find out where this guy is coming from with his OC posted. Change your perspectives a bit.

That is all.

Name: Monos

Age: 24

Gender: Male

Race: Minotaur

Appearance: Monos has the normal minotaur appearance. He stands on two legs, has a face resembling a boar, and is muscular and stands about 6 ft tall. Monos has a ring in his nose, put on him when he worked as a slave. His skin is a deadly red. He has many scars upon his body, all from when he worked as a slave. He has no hair on his body anywhere. He wears a cloak most of the time, to shield others from seeing the hideous sight he is. The cloak is a simple black, with tears on it. For feet, Monos has hooves, like a horse. Monos eyes are pitch black, which gives him a very demonic presence.


History: Monos grew up perfectly fine, in a happy family of minotaurs. He lived in the east land of Raytonia. His parents weren't abusive, he had great friends, and he had a fine home. Minotaurs's homes were usually made of clay and sloppily put together, but they satisfy most beasts. Now about the land he lived on, there wasn't much to it. It wasn't a lush greenland and it wasn't a dry desert. It was somewhere right between. It had it's plants, but nature never got too dense in an area. And to make this area even better, there was no war. Every once in a while, there was a rowdy fight between a couple of bums, but other than that, no conflicts at all. Up until his eighteenth year of life, Monos had been living a great life. All of that changed when he decided to visit the city of Mulfen. Mulfen was in the north of Raytonia, in the land of the Icy druids and witches. Now when Monos visited Mulfen, he hoped to find himself some work as a blacksmith, and maybe even find a loving wife. All beasts were permitted into the city, so there had to be a female minotaur in that city. Now Monos spent his first day in the city, finding traders and oppurtunities galore. He met a particular man that was of the upmost interest. He told Monos that there were many job openings as a blacksmith all throughout the city. This news pleased Monos very much, and the next day he went searching for one. He asked around a bit, and everyone said that all jobs as a blacksmith were taken. So, as late as it was, Monos marched straight to the man, and found him in the same place as the previous day. Monos asked to be shown one of these job openings. As the man lead Monos to one of these, he suddenly turned around. He offered the minotaur a green potion, saying it would make his work as a blacksmith top notch. So Monos agreed and drank the odd liquid. A few seconds afterward, Monos felt himself collapsing. Everything seemed to be turning around. As Monos eyes shut, the last thing he got a glance of was the man, giving a horrid grin. As Monos awoke, he heard loud shouting and the clatter of coins. One voice boomed over all the noise. "Hello to all! I promised you all a good fight, didn't I? Well this is the fight you've all been anticipating! Our champion, the brutal undead fighter, VS the newcomer, the bloody minotaur!" A loud rant of cheering and clapping sounded through the arena. Monos looked around, for someway to escape this fight. There was no way out. It was a small area, with the audience seperated from the actual fighting with a few planks of wood. As a loud gong resounded throughout the arena, the undead warrior came forth. He was a horrible creature. His grotesque bones had many cuts in them, and he wielded a large cutlass. The fight waged on, Monos using his bare hands. The audience cheered, throwing coins at the beasts. Monos, after what seemed like hours of repetitive fighting, finally managed to snap the warrior in two. The crowd went silent, seeing their champion's bones disinegrate. Mono's tried to escape now that this fight was over, but got stopped by a few armed members of the audience. He found himself in chains, and was thrown into a dark, dank cell for the night. As morning came, the man who gave him the potion brung him out of his cell. As the day went on, Monos was forced into doing whatever horrible tasks this slave driver could think of. This proccess went on for a good 20 days, beofre Monos found a possible way to escape. There was another slave, who remained in his cell full time. Mono's never noticed him until Monos was thrown in the slaves cell for the night. Monos commounicated with the slave, finding out he was dwarven crafter, working on a bomb to destroy the wall that was keeping them priosner. It was a long time before the explosive was finished. In that time, Monos had gained many scars, and became much more aggressive. When the dwarf planted the bomb one night, Monos eagerly awaited the explosion. As soon as he heard the crack of the stone wall, Monos sprinted to the wall. It was completely demolished. Monos and a good fifty slaves escaped that day. They all took their seperate paths. Monos, however, vowed to destory the man that brought him into that prison.

Personality: Monos is extremely aggressive and has major trust issues. He will often use violence to solve his problems. Very self concious.

Powers: Can use his fists to bash his way out of anything

Weaknesses: A splash of water will bring him down to his knees.

Name: Darin
Age: He’s 21 in elven years or the gryphon equivalent.
Gender: Male
Species/Race: His species changes depending on his form. One of his forms is Gryphon while the other is Elven.

History: Darin comes from a universe with many humanoid races (including humans) and many mystical races (including dragons). In the particular land in which Darin comes from, there are mostly elves and mystical creatures. Half-elves are also somewhat abundant and humans are less common. Before the events of this RP, Darin lived in/nearby a small village. His history, however, begins with the gryphons that used to reside deep within the nearby woods. At a young age, they found him as a young gryphon cub. He only remembered his name, thus his original Elven parents are unknown. These gryphons raised/trained him for years (until he was about 14) until a rather traumatic event occurred. One day, some humans came with the goal of capturing him and his gryphon family. This group was rather infamous for capturing mystical creatures and selling them elsewhere as slaves and/or exotic pets. It was illegal for gryphons to be sold/captured in this particular land as they were greatly respected. His gryphon family tried to defend him, but ended up giving their lives instead. Darin, himself, gave a good fight but it wasn't enough. He received his scar and was loaded into a cage on the back of a carriage. He found that his vision was somewhat lessened; though he related this to mere fatigue. The carriage began moving, presumably taking him away to some other hostile land. The Elves (from elsewhere in the land) heard about these slavers and went after them. They enlisted the help of the villagers (all Half-elven) and set-up an ambush. The slavers were stopped and the cage was unlocked. Darin didn't go anywhere though, fore he was greatly injured. In addition to his eye, he had an injured leg and wing. The half-elves volunteered to take him temporary and heal him up. One of the elves stayed behind and helped with this process. His wing and leg were completely healed up, though he now lacked the peripheral vision in his left eye. This elf, whom specialized in transformation-based magic, also suspected something unique about Darin. As a gryphon, he had already managed to both fully understand and speak the common dialect. Most gryphons, though quite intelligent, could only understand the common dialect. There were those who spoke it as well, but it ether took magic or many years of elven/half-elven/human contact for them to achieve this. At only 14, Darin shouldn't have able to do this. The elf waited until Darin's injuries are were fully healed and proceeded to do some tests on him. It was evident that he had little contact with the elves/half elves/humans beforehand and he showed negative for any known communication-related spell effects. The elf then tried some other tests (meant to discover a shapeshifter’s true form) and discovered Darin’s Elven form. The elf stayed long enough to teach Darin show to shift and returned to his people. From this moment on, the villagers took him in for good and began to teach him their Half-elven ways. Being trained as a gryphon for about much of his life (about 2/3), he was raised as a natural hunter and tracker. This translated to his Elven specialization in the use of the bow. He later gained a scimitar for close quarter combat, but often served as a ranger/archer for bandits or anyone else who threatened the village. Despite this, he had never forgotten his gryphon form and still slept in that form. Eventually, he took this a step farther and moved back into the nearby woods. He found a cave and began to hunt again in his gryphon form. He still protected the village (albeit via the air) and occasionally served as an mount when needed. He still, however, socialized and sold any extra kills in his Elven form. He is as much a gryphon as he is an elf, though he knows the ways of both.

Personality: Partly due to his gryphon childhood, he is quite loyal to his friends. He can be brave when he needs to be, but tends to be cautious around new people. He’ll often strategize, is a tad claustrophobic due to his past, and has a grudge towards the humans. He's comfortable for serving as the occasional mount for those whom he befriends and prefers to only use his Elven form in certain social situations (such as selling his kills). He’s comfortable in the woods and such an environment could possibly give him an advantage. He is also a tad cautious of his left side while fighting, due to the lost peripheral vision in his left eye.
Weapons/Powers: In his elven form, he has a simple hunting bow and a scimitar. The former is mainly used for hunting while the can be used for close quarter combat. Weapons besides, he processes the ability to shift to and from a gryphon. This ability can be draining though and can only be done a few times a day. In his gryphon form, he's good with his claws and is an excellent hunter/tracker in either form. He is quite swift, though there are limitations to his swiftness. If used as a mount, his speed is lessened. He's fastest without a rider, decent with just one rider, and slightly slower with two or more riders. The precise amount of speed lost and the max number of riders depends greatly on total weight. Assuming average weight, the most he could carry is two people. If they're light enough, this may be extended to 3 people. If one is heavy enough, he may be restricted to just one person. To a certain degree, size matters as well.
Appearance: His appearance varies, depending on his form. Both forms share the same brown eyes as well as a distinctive scar over the left eye.
Elven form - In his elven form, he's average height for his race and has medium(ish) blonde hair. He wears leather armor for light protection.
Gryphon form - In his gryphon form, he's average size and is tan/white/brown. His scar is more obvious in this form and allows others to recognize him.

(Thank-you, CinderLover, for the fanart!)

I'd like to post a character here since I think he might be 'god mod'. As soon as my computer starts letting me post some pictures again I'll put him here. c:

Guys, I could use your help with something. See the bolded parts above, what do you think the years raised by gryphons/years raised by Half-elves ratio should be? Currently, it's set at 16/5 years or about 3/4 raised by gryphons. I want him to have adequate knowledge of both kind, but also want to be slightly biased towards the gryphons. Here are some possibilities:

GRYPHON RATIO <> GRYPHON YEARS/ELF YEARS <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __ YEARS

About 1/2_____ <> _____________11/10________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __11 YEARS

About 2/3_____ <> _____________14/7_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __14 YEARS

About 3/4_____ <> _____________16/5_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __16 YEARS

About 4/5_____ <> _____________17/4_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __17 YEARS

About 5/6_____ <> _____________18/3_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __18 YEARS

About 8/9_____ <> _____________19/2_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __19 YEARS

About 9/10____ <> _____________20/1_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __20 YEARS

I'm thinking 1/2, 2/3, or 3/4. The other ratios are obviously extremes and I'm not exactly sure which one I prefer. What do you think?

I would say 2/3. He would have spent his whole childhood with gryphons and be well imprinted on them, but still be young and flexible enough to absorb the traits of the half-elves. I'm no psychologist though, so this is just a guess. 1/2 would probably also work.

I have a LOT of OCs.

One question: Are these supposed to be Spyro OCs or just OCs in general?

Just OC's in general.

I might post a few of mine in a while.

Thank-you Leafex and shorty for the advice. It is now set at 2/3 (14/7 years) and I have also slightly redone the history. Take a look and see what you think.

Quote: redwes

Guys, I could use your help with something. See the bolded parts above, what do you think the years raised by gryphons/years raised by Half-elves ratio should be? Currently, it's set at 16/5 years or about 3/4 raised by gryphons. I want him to have adequate knowledge of both kind, but also want to be slightly biased towards the gryphons. Here are some possibilities:

GRYPHON RATIO <> GRYPHON YEARS/ELF YEARS <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __ YEARS

About 1/2_____ <> _____________11/10________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __11 YEARS

About 2/3_____ <> _____________14/7_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __14 YEARS

About 3/4_____ <> _____________16/5_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __16 YEARS

About 4/5_____ <> _____________17/4_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __17 YEARS

About 5/6_____ <> _____________18/3_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __18 YEARS

About 8/9_____ <> _____________19/2_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __19 YEARS

About 9/10____ <> _____________20/1_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __20 YEARS

I'm thinking 1/2, 2/3, or 3/4. The other ratios are obviously extremes and I'm not exactly sure which one I prefer. What do you think?

sorry to ask : i would like to ask something,(only if youk know who stealth elf is) do you have an idea of how old she is?

I'm sorry NINJA, but I don't have the slightest idea. I'm not all that into Skylanders and not even the Wikis mention her age. :/

Name: Cyan
Age: 15 Human Years, 5 Underian Years
Species: Underian
Height: 3 foot 3 inches
Weight: 76 Pounds
Home: A small house by a Jade Colored River.
Powers: Very Quick, Can Jump Very High
Likes: Secret Handshakes, Swimming, The Jade River, and frequent naps.
Dislikes: Large Hills, Mountains, and Exercise
Personality: He can be very rude and is very lazy. He like to help people when they are in need of help vastly unless its a small problem, he won’t help as he is too lazy to do so. he is also impatient but can be very friendly if you’re a close friend of his.
Weaknesses: Climbing, Heights, Blockades, and has Low Stamina.
Backstory: Cyan was born on an Island called Jewel Island, it is a very grim and dark place with many areas named for there looks or enviroment and with the name of a gem or material but is in habitated by Underians, a species of dark black humanoid beings with elusive traits such as powers and a variety of colored stripes with the lifespan of 55 Human Years, he was born in a place there called Aquamarine Falls. He lived there for 9 Human Years/3 Underian Years, and then left to the Jade River and made a home. He then met his friend, Titian. He and she became good friends and were neighbors in the Jade River area., Cyan and Titian have been to at least 4 landmarks on the island, where they encountered Whodes, a snake-like creature who attempted to build an empire on the island, and his two minions, Tawny and Mauve. They eventually stopped him and Tawny and Mauve, after a fun adventure and a few set backs. Now Cyan lives in his small home near the Jade River.
Other: He and Titian can work as a well team but not a great one since they argue about things when making choices. He can absorb Positive or negative energy from either Garnet or Aquamarine Gems.

Here's Cyan, his appearance is my AVI( A really bad Pixel) and on my Art Topic, link. I also plan on adding more things to Other, his Backstory, ect. as I write the story, same for other characters I make.

Could I please get some help? My OC really needs some work :/

Name: Volt
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Species: Raichu
Height: 2'08"
Weight: 65.9 lbs.
Current Moves: Iron Tail, Volt Tackle, Thunder, Focus Punch
Residence: Currently lives on Mt. Thunder.
Weakness: Ground Moves and Dark Type Pokemon.
Personality: Volt is a cold and secluded Pokemon. He keeps to himself and barley talks to any one. He has a cold interior, and an even colder exterior. Not very mean, just not talkative nor likes to interact with anyone. When ever someone talks about their dreams, he shoots them down saying that they are fake and that it's hopeless to pursue them. Nobody can get very close to him as his heart is, as you say, stone hard as well as stone cold.
Bio: When Raichu was 25, and still a young Pikachu, he was drafted into the Dark War. Plans to go get a good job, raise a family, and play with his kids vanished in an instant. He lived at boot camp for 8 months, toughening up and getting stronger. During this, he learned that he was born with the ability to use Volt Tackle, which the Generals exploited. They had him practice it to perfection. His iron tail was able to slice through the strongest of rocks, his thunderbolt could rock mountains, and his speed was unbeatable. Volt was the model soldier and the top student. He had wits as well as brawn. One day, he was finally forced into the war. A group of Dark and Ghost types were surrounding the camp. They were closing in on them. The growls and howls of Poochyenas and Mightyenas echoed through the night. The maniacal laughing of the ghost types sent shivers down the camps spines. Then, silence. The only sound was the soft cold breeze, blow through the forest and into the camp. Then a scream. All hell broke lose. The fences and gates were torn down as they attacked. Dark and ghost types swarmed into the camp, slaying many soldiers. Volt and a couple of his buddies, the Star Troop, surprised them from the behind. The fighting went on for hours, the explosion of shadow balls, then screams of the dying, and then howls of the attackers. Volt witnessed the death of one of his friends, and the beheading of another. He lost his mind. That was when he learned Thunder. It rocked the houses and bunks and broke the ground open. He killed almost all of them...even the other soldiers. He was only able to witness the destruction he caused, until he felt a sharp pain on his tail. He whipped past to see a Mightyena's jaw clamped on his tail. As he tried to shake it loose, it bit a chunk of his tail out. As he yelled, his body shook with electrical energy. He shot that Mightyena down right there. Few survived from this attack, and the ones that did where injured badly. Volt unfortunately was sent home, as the gap in his tail affected his balance and speed. He has lived on Mt. Thunder ever since.
Appearance: Volt is a normal looking Raichu except that a chunk of his tail (The end and part of the side) is gone. His orange coat is duller than most and his yellow cheeks just aren't as bright as they should be. He was a scare going through one of his yellow cheeks.
Other: He had brother, a Pikachu named Sparky, that died in the war. He also carries a Light Ball with him.

Quote: NINJAsk11

Quote: redwes

Guys, I could use your help with something. See the bolded parts above, what do you think the years raised by gryphons/years raised by Half-elves ratio should be? Currently, it's set at 16/5 years or about 3/4 raised by gryphons. I want him to have adequate knowledge of both kind, but also want to be slightly biased towards the gryphons. Here are some possibilities:

GRYPHON RATIO <> GRYPHON YEARS/ELF YEARS <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __ YEARS

About 1/2_____ <> _____________11/10________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __11 YEARS

About 2/3_____ <> _____________14/7_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __14 YEARS

About 3/4_____ <> _____________16/5_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __16 YEARS

About 4/5_____ <> _____________17/4_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __17 YEARS

About 5/6_____ <> _____________18/3_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __18 YEARS

About 8/9_____ <> _____________19/2_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __19 YEARS

About 9/10____ <> _____________20/1_________ <> FOUND BY ELVES AT __20 YEARS

I'm thinking 1/2, 2/3, or 3/4. The other ratios are obviously extremes and I'm not exactly sure which one I prefer. What do you think?

sorry to ask : i would like to ask something,(only if youk know who stealth elf is) do you have an idea of how old she is?

Guessing from how she acts and looks, probably around 18 or so, possibly 16

And I would choose 2/3

@BrutalBash101 - Very well rounded character. Might I suggest going a little more in depth wit his powers, strengths, and weaknesses? Possibly describe some of his strategies he uses in a fight, maybe what he would do if he couldn't use his hands, etc?

@DragonCamo - A nice character and design. But As I was discussing with my consultants(AngelicBeast, CinderLover, and shorty.), his history is a little inaccurate. Mainly the part about settling down. Pokemon pretty much always live a wild life. They don't really get jobs, and settle down and build families. And could you possibly describe the 'Dark War' a little more indepth? Like, why it started, how long it's been going on, if there's any human interactment, etc. Also, he's a little overpowered. Could you possibly tone it down a bit?You really have to choose between brains and brawn, and It's either Volt Tackle or super strong other attacks.
Also, I think with a little bit of tweaking and some work, you design a completely different 'species' and create your own OC, completely designed by you. We can help you a little if you choose to do this, but remember it's all up to you to do the 'heavy lifting'.

Uh, are you guys gonna review mine, just a reminder?

^Sorry, I just passed over yours somehow.


@Underian - Very nice, unique character. Could you possibly talk about how he fares in battle? What are hsi battle techniques and 'fatal flaws'?

What about mine....ya i know its not that good...

Okay, I'm going to think about that and put it in Other: when I think up a good way for him to battle, so far he only kicks in my story.

Quote: DragonCamo

Bio: When Raichu was 25, and still a young Pikachu, he was drafted into the Dark War. Plans to go get a good job, raise a family, and play with his kids vanished in an instant. He lived at boot camp for 8 months, toughening up and getting stronger. During this, he learned that he was born with the ability to use Volt Tackle, which the Generals exploited. They had him practice it to perfection. His iron tail was able to slice through the strongest of rocks, his thunderbolt could rock mountains, and his speed was unbeatable. Volt was the model soldier and the top student. He had wits as well as brawn. One day, he was finally forced into the war. A group of Dark and Ghost types were surrounding the camp. They were closing in on them. The growls and howls of Poochyenas and Mightyenas echoed through the night. The maniacal laughing of the ghost types sent shivers down the camps spines. Then, silence. The only sound was the soft cold breeze, blow through the forest and into the camp. Then a scream. All hell broke lose. The fences and gates were torn down as they attacked. Dark and ghost types swarmed into the camp, slaying many soldiers. Volt and a couple of his buddies, the Star Troop, surprised them from the behind. The fighting went on for hours, the explosion of shadow balls, then screams of the dying, and then howls of the attackers. Volt witnessed the death of one of his friends, and the beheading of another. He lost his mind. That was when he learned Thunder. It rocked the houses and bunks and broke the ground open. He killed almost all of them...even the other soldiers. He was only able to witness the destruction he caused, until he felt a sharp pain on his tail. He whipped past to see a Mightyena's jaw clamped on his tail. As he tried to shake it loose, it bit a chunk of his tail out. As he yelled, his body shook with electrical energy. He shot that Mightyena down right there. Few survived from this attack, and the ones that did where injured badly. Volt unfortunately was sent home, as the gap in his tail affected his balance and speed. He has lived on Mt. Thunder ever since.

Whoa there. There's several things here making me not only confused, but also making me think the character is OverPowered(OP)/GodModdy.

The only reason a Raichu would have any stronger moves than other Raichus is level, held items, abilities, happiness level, stat-boosting moves, and natures. Since level, nature, and ability are never said I'll assume the following: His ability is Static, his nature is Serious, and for the sake of how powerful he seems to be I'll say Level 50 with the following stats:
HP: 167
Attack: 156
Defense: 117
Special Attack: 156
Special Defense: 145
Speed: 167
*WARNING: NEGATIVE OPINION AHEAD, TRY NOT TO KILL ME*
A level 50 Pokemon would never be able to pull off what was offered in the bio of that character sheet. In fact, I'd dare say no Pokemon but a legendary would be able to do that. I don't know if in your story Pokemon have been overly hypered up in power, but in normal Pokemon world this wouldn't be possible. While yes, Thunder is a powerful move, if everyone attacking was the same level or higher as Volt then he certainly wouldn't be able to kill everybody. Faint a bunch of water-types? I'm okay with that. Kill everyone with one common move? Yeah, no.
As for having Volt Tackle, I'm also okay with this, though I don't see how having a move that's pretty much the physical version of Thunder should be exploited or abused. I also don't understand HOW he just suddenly, magically learned Thunder out of nowhere. And I'm assuming he's a Raichu at this point, and Raichus cannot learn Thunder by leveling up. Pikachu learns Thunder by levelup, but Raichu does not learn it through levelup. This just confuses me even more on what's even going on in this Pokemon world.
Speaking of that, what IS the Dark War? Dark Pokemon suddenly just decided "welp, let's kill everybody"? I'd like to hear a bit more about that before I continue on that subject.
*NEGATIVE OPINION END*
Okay, with all THAT out of the way I'd like to say that he seems like a character who would be that one serious guy who, while in a grumpy mood all the time, is fun to mess with and talk to, even if just to see how he would react. It'd also be neat to see how he copes with his electricity irregularity. Maybe he chops off the top to make it regular, but in this action makes himself look like a girl? D: That'd be certainly interesting to see. I'm pretty curious. I also want to see how the war turns out, and what the consequence is in the world? Are Dark Types dominant now? Were they defeated and everyone's a dark/ghost-type racist? Questions, questions!

But you'll have to ask others for what they think if you want a whole opinion. Just my thoughts. My apologies if that was a bit harsh, but that's the best way I can word a... I dunno, "critique", I guess?

Quote: Underian

Name: Cyan
Age: 15 Human Years, 5 Underian Years
Species: Underian
Height: 3 foot 3 inches
Weight: 76 Pounds
Home: A small house by a Jade Colored River.
Powers: Very Quick, Can Jump Very High
Likes: Secret Handshakes, Swimming, The Jade River, and frequent naps.
Dislikes: Large Hills, Mountains, and Exercise
Personality: He can be very rude and is very lazy. He like to help people when they are in need of help vastly unless its a small problem, he won’t help as he is too lazy to do so. he is also impatient but can be very friendly if you’re a close friend of his.
Weaknesses: Climbing, Heights, Blockades, and has Low Stamina.
Backstory: Cyan was born on an Island called Jewel Island, it is a very grim and dark place with many areas named for there looks or enviroment and with the name of a gem or material but is in habitated by Underians, a species of dark black humanoid beings with elusive traits such as powers and a variety of colored stripes with the lifespan of 55 Human Years, he was born in a place there called Aquamarine Falls. He lived there for 9 Human Years/3 Underian Years, and then left to the Jade River and made a home. He then met his friend, Titian. He and she became good friends and were neighbors in the Jade River area., Cyan and Titian have been to at least 4 landmarks on the island, where they encountered Whodes, a snake-like creature who attempted to build an empire on the island, and his two minions, Tawny and Mauve. They eventually stopped him and Tawny and Mauve, after a fun adventure and a few set backs. Now Cyan lives in his small home near the Jade River.
Other: He and Titian can work as a well team but not a great one since they argue about things when making choices. He can absorb Positive or negative energy from either Garnet or Aquamarine Gems.

Here's Cyan, his appearance is my AVI( A really bad Pixel) and on my Art Topic, link. I also plan on adding more things to Other, his Backstory, ect. as I write the story, same for other characters I make.

Hmmm, I don't know much about these creatures so my opinion on them is more interested than anything else. Though, I'd quite like a description of their 'powers'. In fact, just a race description would be nice. This character seems like the kind you could made a tv show out of, since pretty much his bio says that he went on a little adventure.
I think he's pretty cute, even if rude. Pretty cute indeed.
The only downside is that I don't know enough about his race to give a proper judgement on him.

@CinderLover
No, thats absolutly fine. Even though it is kind of annuiing whenever you read something bad about what you made or like, i know i need it. So thats just fine. I'm not bery concious about the stats of Pokemon and all this other stuff, all it really does is confuse me. So when i make pokemon chracters, i ignore all the stats and stuff like that. I just don't really get stuff like that. Yes, the Thunder scene probably was a little over dramatized. I'll work on that. With Volt learning Thunder, first i guess i should add this somewhere, is that their are no humans. It's an all Pokemon world so im not sure if they would be weaker, having not to battle with humans, or stronger, as there are many more so more competition.

Quote: DragonCamo

What about mine....ya i know its not that good...

Quote: Dmcrocks

@BrutalBash101 - Very well rounded character. Might I suggest going a little more in depth wit his powers, strengths, and weaknesses? Possibly describe some of his strategies he uses in a fight, maybe what he would do if he couldn't use his hands, etc?

@DragonCamo - A nice character and design. But As I was discussing with my consultants(AngelicBeast, CinderLover, and shorty.), his history is a little inaccurate. Mainly the part about settling down. Pokemon pretty much always live a wild life. They don't really get jobs, and settle down and build families. And could you possibly describe the 'Dark War' a little more indepth? Like, why it started, how long it's been going on, if there's any human interactment, etc. Also, he's a little overpowered. Could you possibly tone it down a bit?You really have to choose between brains and brawn, and It's either Volt Tackle or super strong other attacks.
Also, I think with a little bit of tweaking and some work, you design a completely different 'species' and create your own OC, completely designed by you. We can help you a little if you choose to do this, but remember it's all up to you to do the 'heavy lifting'.

*coughcough*

Quote: Dmcrocks

Quote: DragonCamo

What about mine....ya i know its not that good...

Quote: Dmcrocks

@BrutalBash101 - Very well rounded character. Might I suggest going a little more in depth wit his powers, strengths, and weaknesses? Possibly describe some of his strategies he uses in a fight, maybe what he would do if he couldn't use his hands, etc?

@DragonCamo - A nice character and design. But As I was discussing with my consultants(AngelicBeast, CinderLover, and shorty.), his history is a little inaccurate. Mainly the part about settling down. Pokemon pretty much always live a wild life. They don't really get jobs, and settle down and build families. And could you possibly describe the 'Dark War' a little more indepth? Like, why it started, how long it's been going on, if there's any human interactment, etc. Also, he's a little overpowered. Could you possibly tone it down a bit?You really have to choose between brains and brawn, and It's either Volt Tackle or super strong other attacks.
Also, I think with a little bit of tweaking and some work, you design a completely different 'species' and create your own OC, completely designed by you. We can help you a little if you choose to do this, but remember it's all up to you to do the 'heavy lifting'.

*coughcough*

*cough*ididntseethatsorry*cough*
I just dont know really how to explain the Pokemon world.....its like a mix of the wild ones, abd the more educted ones that have jobs and have families and stuff like that. Im really new into this stuff so im not sure what to do DX. I guess Volt is a little over powerered.....ok many a lot.
Btw, please ingore my grammar as im using my phone and it sucks with the small keyboard.
Ill try to Explain the Dark War tommorow when i can get on the computer.

Quote: DragonCamo

Name: Volt
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Species: Raichu
Height: 2'08"
Weight: 65.9 lbs.
Current Moves: Iron Tail, Volt Tackle, Thunder, Focus Punch
Residence: Currently lives on Mt. Thunder.
Weakness: Ground Moves and Dark Type Pokemon.
Personality: Volt is a cold and secluded Pokemon. He keeps to himself and barley talks to any one. He has a cold interior, and an even colder exterior. Not very mean, just not talkative nor likes to interact with anyone. When ever someone talks about their dreams, he shoots them down saying that they are fake and that it's hopeless to pursue them. Nobody can get very close to him as his heart is, as you say, stone hard as well as stone cold.
Bio: When Raichu was 25, and still a young Pikachu, he was drafted into the Dark War. Plans to go get a good job, raise a family, and play with his kids vanished in an instant. He lived at boot camp for 8 months, toughening up and getting stronger. During this, he learned that he was born with the ability to use Volt Tackle, which the Generals exploited. They had him practice it to perfection. His iron tail was able to slice through the strongest of rocks, his thunderbolt could rock mountains, and his speed was unbeatable. Volt was the model soldier and the top student. He had wits as well as brawn. One day, he was finally forced into the war. A group of Dark and Ghost types were surrounding the camp. They were closing in on them. The growls and howls of Poochyenas and Mightyenas echoed through the night. The maniacal laughing of the ghost types sent shivers down the camps spines. Then, silence. The only sound was the soft cold breeze, blow through the forest and into the camp. Then a scream. All hell broke lose. The fences and gates were torn down as they attacked. Dark and ghost types swarmed into the camp, slaying many soldiers. Volt and a couple of his buddies, the Star Troop, surprised them from the behind. The fighting went on for hours, the explosion of shadow balls, then screams of the dying, and then howls of the attackers. Volt witnessed the death of one of his friends, and the beheading of another. He lost his mind. That was when he learned Thunder. It rocked the houses and bunks and broke the ground open. He killed almost all of them...even the other soldiers. He was only able to witness the destruction he caused, until he felt a sharp pain on his tail. He whipped past to see a Mightyena's jaw clamped on his tail. As he tried to shake it loose, it bit a chunk of his tail out. As he yelled, his body shook with electrical energy. He shot that Mightyena down right there. Few survived from this attack, and the ones that did where injured badly. Volt unfortunately was sent home, as the gap in his tail affected his balance and speed. He has lived on Mt. Thunder ever since.
Appearance: Volt is a normal looking Raichu except that a chunk of his tail (The end and part of the side) is gone. His orange coat is duller than most and his yellow cheeks just aren't as bright as they should be. He was a scare going through one of his yellow cheeks.
Other: He had brother, a Pikachu named Sparky, that died in the war. He also carries a Light Ball with him.

I kind of call that mean if you ask me, just saying. I know I would call someone mean if they shot me down just from talking about dreams

Name: Sylvia
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Species/race: Werewolf
Appearance: In wolf form, she is small and gray, and has dark green eyes. In human form, she has shoulder length brown hair, dark green eyes, usually wears dark clothes, is rather skinny, and is 5'6" tall.
Bio/History: Sylvia was born into a small pack of werewolves, most of which stayed in their wolf form to avoid detection. When she grew old enough, her intelligence and swiftness earned her a high ranking in the pack. One day, some power hungry neighboring small dragons demanded the land that rightfully belonged to Sylvia's pack. The alpha refused, and the debate over the land turned into an all out battle. Sylvia and some other high ranking members killed some of the top scouts and deputies, but the dragons retaliated with many platoons worth of dragons, and Sylvia was the lone survivor of her pack. As she ran from the bloody battle behind her, she was pursued by one of the dragons' scouts. It caught up with her, and was about to finish her off when she was saved by another werewolf and a half-demon. She chose to stay with the two of them, as she had no where else to go. On their many adventures, she met the werewolf's stepmother, a hedgehog, and and the half-demon's dragon. After they parted ways, she moved on and found a human city where she met 3 new friends, one of which became her boyfriend. His name is Leo, and after he found out that she was a werewolf, she ran away, only to find a wolf city where werewolves were considered outlaws and were immediately executed. She met a wolf named Widow, and she lives on the outskirts of that city now. She often tells stories of her old adventures with her friends, and hopes to see them again someday.
Personality: Loyal to her friends, compassionate and caring, but extremely elusive until get to know her, Sylvia is intelligent and and swift and will always be there if someone is in need.
Strengths: Her swiftness and intelligence make her a good strategist, and she eludes attacks easily. However, she prefers hit and run tactics rather than head on attempts, as she is not very strong. Her past experiences with working with others make her a good leader and teammate.
Weaknesses: Can be rash when trying to protect others, which often leads to her getting hurt in risky situations. She is not very strong, so she can't attack anyone head on or move heavy objects.
Other: Had a childhood friend named Bird who was killed in the dragon attack.

Well, this is alive again, I have updated Cyan more so he is a bit more detailed. But I will give a description on Underians before I do anything else. I will also post an updated sheet of Cyan and his friends. Im going to work on the description...

i just recently completed an information sheet with my main sonic fc, and i want a bit of critique, like, does something need explaining, toning down, etc.

http://animaloftheelements.dev...Sheet-387744240

everything in the description. you dont know how scared i was uploading that

Quote: Stealthelfrocks

i just recently completed an information sheet with my main sonic fc, and i want a bit of critique, like, does something need explaining, toning down, etc.

http://animaloftheelements.dev...Sheet-387744240

everything in the description. you dont know how scared i was uploading that

Okay, I myself know a lot to the good Sonic OC, so I looked at this.

Bio, then design.

Now first off, her first and middle name are Japanese and her Last name isnt. That bothers me a little, and her abilities are much like Blaze the Cat with good differences. If it isnt a bother could you maybe put what role she would fit on a team with 2 others(Like how in Sonic Heroes it was Speed, Power, and Fly)? You say she has great physical strength and fast speeds, put a limit to one of those if you will(If she advances in power more than Speed she could have a limit to her speed or vice versa). Also does she ever fail? You make it seem that she can't be beaten in a fight. There aren't any noticiable flaws in her personality and her attire in word form seems fine. Now her weapon is a sword, just a sword. Please explain what kind of sword? And give examples to when she would use it. Considering none of the Video Game Canon Characters use swords, I can't imagine when. You never put a backstory, or why she never takes off her necklace.

Okay, now her design. She has a lot of colors, which doesn't bother me. Some others would turn it down. Now her hair, well the hair on her head. I'm happy you didn't make it blonde or something stupid like that. I really don't like female Sonic FC's with blonde or brunette hair when they're a green rabbit. Everything else seems fine. Other OCs may be better but shes still very good, 7.9/10.