darkSpyro

Well, this seems fun...
You just don't understand, do you? You just wont ever understand..
I wont ever be happy, No matter how much I promise you that I'll be happy, I just cant..
There will always be something to bring me down, and dont tell me you know how I feel, because you really don't.
I have to fake all of my emotions, just to fit in and keep other people happy.
You have no idea how much I have to pretend, I have to pretend that im proud of myself and that im happy in front of my family, that im happy and as cheerful as ever for you and my friends... My gawd I dont think you understand, even though I told you all my problems.
I know, you care about me, you try to help me with my problems and I thank you for it, but... again, you just dont understand, I have to fake around you as well, alright?
I dont even know what I really feel anymore.. I cant tell if im happy or sad or anything, I feel dead already.
And as I promised to you, I wont take my life.. but you have no idea how tempting it is, if for once in my life I was selfish, then I would.. But.. Sigh..
Nobody knows the real me, even I dont.

Quote: DragonCamo

Quote: Seiki

Quote: DragonCamo

You know what's fun? People asking you if your gay, even telling you that you are. It's terrible, constantly thinking Do they know? Constantly having to say "No, i'm not" which is plain out lying.

You'd be suprised how well I know this feeling... It's really annoying when they start discussing whether you're a top or a bottom and jokingly plot to have you locked in a room with a gay friend of theirs, intending for you to get raped. >.>

Ya. A lot of gay guys say that their girl firneds are always like "Oh, i think hes gay, maybe you two should date" then you would reply "Hey, look at that guy, i thibk hes straight. You two should date"
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Oh fun, its not like i wanted to sleep tonight anyway

Just ignore them if you can. They're obviously ignorant little kids.

I really shouldn't give "advice" when it's something as common as this. For this thing, I need to lie and make them feel good. If I tell the the truth, however. They'll just whine.

This type of thing makes me feel disappointed toward you. For a second I thought you would be different, but you carry the same burden that many others have. Which really makes it harder to remember you. Also you become way more predictable. '^'

You don't understand, you just, don't understand
I had a wonderful conversation with this random women at Wendys :D we talked about The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. Best. Coversation. Ever!!!

That wonderful moment when your parents hands you $50 for no reason at all.

Quote: HotDogAndZap

That wonderful moment when your parents hands you $50 for no reason at all.

Sneak out at night then,
Use 6$ for bus fare, go to your local Best Buy, Toys r us, whatever, then use the other 44$ for POKÉMANZ

Quote: CommanderGame

Quote: HotDogAndZap

That wonderful moment when your parents hands you $50 for no reason at all.

Sneak out at night then,
Use 6$ for bus fare, go to your local Best Buy, Toys r us, whatever, then use the other 44$ for POKÉMANZ

brilliant idea 10/10 would totally attempt

~~~~
Another thing about my dead dog. Feel free to pass it by~
No, seriously. Don't read it.

lol wow so much for "They look great! You're so talented!" That's okay, I didn't really have any human feelings or emotions anyway.

-----

I really hope that it made you happy when I did that.

Quote: HotDogAndZap

~~~~

This song reminds me of my puppy, when I first got him. When he was okay, and happy. When we were both happy. When things were good. The very first day, when he came home. He was so small, so weak, so scared. That was the day we first became friends.

Good lord I miss him. Why'd he have to die? ;n; He was so young.. So small..

I haven't been myself since he died. On the day he died, everything became real. Instead of the happy ignorance of childhood I had, I then was able to notice the world wasn't always happy. There was sadness, fear, tragedy and loss. Instead of noticing all the good things, all I've been able to see are the bad. All the sadness. All the tragedy. Loss. Pain. Suffering. Destruction. Fear. All the terrible things in the world that drag my spirits down. I used to be happy all the time, now I'm only truly happy about once a week. Things I used to find fun now seem depressing. I've become antisocial. I've become depressed. I've become cold. Hanging out with my friends feels like a chore now, instead of fun. I feel detached, and I have ever since that day. When he died, I might as well have died with him.

Sorry for your loss. :(

My thoughts~


But seriously, people push me to turn into a mean person...THEY'RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR.

... It's not weird for my heart to race when I see your name... right?

~~~

Want to post, don't want to post, want to post, don't want to post, want to post, don't want to post.

~~~

Oh... I hope that post was a joke...

~~~

Ooh... I just wanna slap the fudge outta you....

And this is why I don't post serious things anymore. I'm such a stupid kid, I don't think things through hard enough.
Maybe I should stop posting here for a while and reside in Forum Games? Maybe I can get it together again after a while.

Okayyy I get it :I I'm a dumb ass who shouldn't have said something like that.

Meh, I'll just aim for not being serious anymore.

~~~


I KNEW IT
THE TABLES HAVE FINALLY TURNED

*Ignored*

Feeling tired. Also how come people think like that. I mean we all are different in what we like, see, dislike, and act. Though it's kind of frightful to see what you think and show, not hating on fanart of franchise just thinking different.

Oy, I'm so tired and I,can't think and my eyes are sore...

I'm gonna stay up and watch all the Twilight movies....

Hello, depression... I need someone to talk to...

Quote: ThroneOfMalefor

Hello, depression... I need someone to talk to...

I know it's been a while, but I'm here 24/7 so, don't be afraid to talk to me.

3566 -> 3577 -> 3588

lucky number sleven

You scared the daylights out of me, omg, I was in tears... you are my best friend, sending *hugs* thanks for clearing that up. ^.^

~~~~~

Now if I can only get some decent sleep...

I've learned to lose,
I've learned to win...
I've turned my face
against the wind.
I will move fast,
I will move slow...
Take me where
I have to go

sorry

*Dragons of Atlantis thoughts*

This needs to end now. My alliance has been harassed by these OP monsters. They think they can do whatever they want because their alliance is higher ranked than ours. We need to train as many troops as possible, and we need to raise our power. This is it. We're going to war in the morning. I hope were all ready.

I feel different from others. My mind just doesn't seem to work the way it should, causing my thoughts to become jumbled and incomplete, making me appear ignorant. And even if that wasn't the case, my mind still works differently from others, and thus I see things differently...and also appear 'ignorant', 'insane', and whatever else one wishes to call me.

I feel like a outcast. I have friends who are there for me, and will help me through my issues, but yet I still feel as though I lack the proper...ability to communicate with those I am not familiar with (sometimes I even get nervous with my own friends). My mind becomes afraid and freezes, and many times when I've had something to say, I don't, out of the fear that my mind will once again slip up and I'm just 'that idiot' all over again. I lack the ability to communicate with people, due to overwhelming hostility I feel towards myself.

I worry too much about what people think of me. But maybe it's because for too much of my childhood and now, it would seem, my life in general, I was always just that: The idiot. A pest. A brat. Few ever called me smart, ever called me a friend, ever wanted me around. And when I met such people, I cherished them. And then I always lost them.

And now, I'm so afraid of losing the friends I have now, that I feel as if I'm starting to push them away as my fragile mind continues to suffer. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I still feel like a mistake, but I know that's wrong. This other side of me -this dark side- wants to swallow me again, but I can't allow it.

And I find myself wishing for things that are just impossible. But then again, hasn't everyone? But I arguably take it too far...

I wish to be...who I want to be. But is that wise? It seems clear to me that there's no place for people like me in this world... The majority rules after all, and the things that they adore are the things I loathe...and it just seems the best course of action is to stand back and have my emotions and mind assaulted, so as to not inconvenience them. I am just one person, after all.

I do not hate humanity. We are flawed, yes, and we have done many bad things...but we have also done many good things. To wish for our destruction is to ignore the purity, to leave us alone as we are is to ignore the corruption. I'd rather purify than destroy. We could be so much more than we are.

But I wish I were something else. And I feel like I was many different things in the past... I want that again. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy.

I've always been insane. I see that now...

WHY CAN'T YOU STOP BRINGING THAT UP????

I'm on the edge.....


Of Glory.....

So I was at a party and someone asked to dance with ne.

This is gonna sound really cliché, but I just realized how much music is involved with my life. Everyday, I'm sitting by the radio, or listening to a playlist of mine. I don't go a day without listening to a song, and everyday I have a different song stuck in my head. In the summers I listen to popular new music, in the fall I listen to random/darker themed songs, in winter I listen to instrumental and piano music, and in spring I listen to pop music again.

I usually have a 'song of the day' as well. I swear, my life would just be flat out depressing without my music.

Song of the day: Payphone. Reminds me of the summertime.

Quote: somePerson

So I was at a party and someone asked to dance with ne.

Congrats sP....


And @HDAZ I know what you mean...I change my favorite song everyday because that's what I feel that day.

Felt so good to post that...

Please leave, you and your audience have fallen silent
Nobody cares about you and you're a d*ck, why keep coming back to keep leaving, thought this is all a waste of time
Also i would throw my hardest punch at your face if I ever saw you on the street

"huhuhuhu, well she was TOTALLY about to puke so we stopped the bus for like ten minutes becuz were soooo hot and funny and we get away with EVERYTHING! ;)))"

Yeah shove it up your asses you annoying lying skanks. Yes it had nothing to do with me and it only made me ten minutes late home but that wasn't funny at all.

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That song is godawful (not to mention the video too). I truly do not get why everyone keeps singing it all the time.

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Holy ****, who starts crying when someone mentions Chucky the doll?

Quote: IsisStormDragon

I feel different from others. My mind just doesn't seem to work the way it should, causing my thoughts to become jumbled and incomplete, making me appear ignorant. And even if that wasn't the case, my mind still works differently from others, and thus I see things differently...and also appear 'ignorant', 'insane', and whatever else one wishes to call me.

I feel like a outcast. I have friends who are there for me, and will help me through my issues, but yet I still feel as though I lack the proper...ability to communicate with those I am not familiar with (sometimes I even get nervous with my own friends). My mind becomes afraid and freezes, and many times when I've had something to say, I don't, out of the fear that my mind will once again slip up and I'm just 'that idiot' all over again. I lack the ability to communicate with people, due to overwhelming hostility I feel towards myself.

I worry too much about what people think of me. But maybe it's because for too much of my childhood and now, it would seem, my life in general, I was always just that: The idiot. A pest. A brat. Few ever called me smart, ever called me a friend, ever wanted me around. And when I met such people, I cherished them. And then I always lost them.

And now, I'm so afraid of losing the friends I have now, that I feel as if I'm starting to push them away as my fragile mind continues to suffer. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I still feel like a mistake, but I know that's wrong. This other side of me -this dark side- wants to swallow me again, but I can't allow it.

And I find myself wishing for things that are just impossible. But then again, hasn't everyone? But I arguably take it too far...

I wish to be...who I want to be. But is that wise? It seems clear to me that there's no place for people like me in this world... The majority rules after all, and the things that they adore are the things I loathe...and it just seems the best course of action is to stand back and have my emotions and mind assaulted, so as to not inconvenience them. I am just one person, after all.

I do not hate humanity. We are flawed, yes, and we have done many bad things...but we have also done many good things. To wish for our destruction is to ignore the purity, to leave us alone as we are is to ignore the corruption. I'd rather purify than destroy. We could be so much more than we are.

But I wish I were something else. And I feel like I was many different things in the past... I want that again. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy.

I've always been insane. I see that now...

You being an idiot, or a brat, is news to me. And this post you just made? Yeah, it destroys that notion entirely. Because last time I checked, hardly anyone reflects and evaluates themselves like that. I can think of many people who could stand to do that.

Your cry for love is pathetic.

omg
That was the sweetest thing ever. <3

I feel so painfully isolated and I need people more than ever. But instead of be there for me it seems like the only course of action is to just laugh at me or antagonize me to an unbearable level. Yes, keep bringing up old nonsense as if it matters anymore. I'm not made of steel. Anger or passion are not the only emotions I can feel. I'm just as human as the rest of you so stop acting like I'm supposed to shrug everything off and laugh with it when I'm in such a horrible state. It's not funny anymore.

It's perfectly ok for people to speak about their problems and get support from the members around them. It's fine for them to depend on them. But if I speak about my problems or for even a second hope that some people here could help, I need to stop talking about myself, or I'm taking things too seriously. Why is that the case for me? What makes me so different?

I'm just getting off a place where I was mentally and emotionally abused and tortured. I hardly have any friends and I need you people with me. And all you do is laugh and just say "oh that's just CAV going crazy". Something is wrong here.

------------------------

As for you, **** you for basically saying I'm not allowed to have these feelings about a place I called home for nearly 3 years. **** you for twisting my words and bringing up unrelated nonsense in an attempt to blindly antagonize me in front of everyone.

I said no. >:)

That God bless the broken road, that led me straight to you~
I love this song, so much. It reminds me of you.

Today is my dog's birthday!

Stay classy guys.

- - -

Quote: sonicbrawler182

You being an idiot, or a brat, is news to me. And this post you just made? Yeah, it destroys that notion entirely. Because last time I checked, hardly anyone reflects and evaluates themselves like that. I can think of many people who could stand to do that.

This is probably going to sound like I was just crying for attention (because let's face it no one is safe from that accusation), but... Thank you. It means a lot to me that someone not only read all that, but also happens to have a more 'positive' opinion of it, which is more than I say for some other people (who are not exclusively on dS, btw).