darkSpyro

Cynder was sitting on the balcany of the temple thinking about her strange life. Cynder eventualy fell asleep. Cynder drempt she was walking down one of the long halls. She knew where she was but it seemed like she had never been there before. She walked up a secret staircase. Cynder found herself in a large domed room. The room was as plain as could be. Nothing was in there. The walls were white. But there were paintings on the walls. Cynder looked to her left and found the legend of the purple dragon, but the legend she saw an her right horified her.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Cynder woke shivering and sweting. Then she heard Spyro. "Cynder are you ok?" he asked. "I have to look for somthing. Now!" she anwered hastely. "What's up with her?" he wondered. Cynder took the same path she took in her dream. Her dream was true. Spyro was following her the whole time. "Cynder what are y-" Spyro stoped short. He had the same reaction Cynder had when he saw the legend of Cynder!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Good...STORY!!! Please write more.

"Cynder, how did you know where this place was? Who is the dragon?" Spyro gasps Cynder, is that you?" Spyro asked. "I had a dream to lead me here, and yes I think that is me." she said glumly. "Can you read it, Cynder?" Spyro asked. "It says that the dragon would turn into a monser, be saved by a purple dragon, and-" Cynder stopes short. "Yes?" Spyro asked. "Kill both purple dragons" Cynder finished, her eyes full of tears. ".........." Spyro was silent. "What's up my purple brother!?" Sparx barged in. "............"
"What? asked Sparx. Cynder ran away crying, for she knew legends came true.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Wait,it meant...Spyro is going to die... !!!!Please write more.

Maybe... Maybe not...

Ohhhhhh,POOR SPYRO!!!!At least he comes back to life.

One thing: can somone give me some more ideas!?!?

"Cynder! Wait, please?!" Spyro called. Spyro was a faster runner than Cynder so (since she is the faster flyer) she took flight. She looked over her sholder to see Spyro on her heels. "I don't want to be near you to harm you!" she cried back. She relized she was over Blackwood Forest and she dived like a hawk. "Oh no! She will be killed in there! Think, Spyro, think. I should go get help!" he said aloud.

To be continued...

Ohh,need more.Hmmm,let me think of some ideas.

"SHE WHAT!?!?" screamed the 3 guardians. "Yes she went INTO the Blackwood Forest." Spyro said calmly. "But don't worry I have a plan."
They all flew to the forest with some more friends. Spyro and some of the dragons started burning the forest to a crisp. Then the ice dragons and Spyro started freezing the trees, after that Spyro and the rest of the dragons landed and turned into boulder then smashed the iced trees.

Meanwhile:
Cynder had gotten tiered and found a small abandoned cave. Then she remembered her last birthday present a small half purple half black crystal. It was on her neck brace. "But what does it do?" she asked herself before being knocked out.

To be continued...

Cynder came to in pure darkness. She was underground! "hey shhhh. I think she is waking up!" said one voice. "Oh you MUST be kidding she is a dragon tied up with steel ropes! She CAN'T hurt us, you idiot!" said the second. Cynder's night vision kicked in right then. Then she saw who the voices belonged to: giant burrowing snakes! "AAAAAAAAAAAA!" Cynder screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" they yelled back. Thank goodness they forgot tie her mouth shut. Cynder breathed wind and shot them to the other side of the tunnel. They hissed angrily as they approached her...

MEANWHILE:
Spyro and all the other dragons were looking all over the 500 miles that was Blackwood Forest. Terrador landed next to Spyro. "Spyro," he said "we must take a break. We have been looking all night, look it's dawn! Now we can get something to eat and go strait back to looking." Spyro heard his stomach gurgle. "Fine." he said unhappily.

To be continued...

Back to Cynder. "AAAAAARRRGG!!" Cynder growled as she spit acid on the ropes. "We must warn the colony!" they exlamed. Cynder then dug her way out of the snake's lair.

cool i like ur story

awsome please wright more

Yeah!Please!

thats a cool story,and i wonder why the snakes captured her

The Dragons were eating when they saw Cynder fling over head. Onyx, Cynder's friend, said "I'll get her." He flew into the air Cynder stoped to talk to him. "Cynder, come down everyone wants to talk to you." he pleaded. "Is Spyro there?" she asked. "Oh Cynder, just come down." Onyx said as he grabed her paw and dragged her down. When the rest of the dragons saw her they all yelled and cheered. "PlLEASE STAY! PLEASE STAY!" they screamed. Spyro steped to the front of them. "See? They all want you to stay, I want you to stay." he said. "But, the legend-" "There won't be legend if you don't want there to be." he cut her off. "Well... ok, I'll stay." she yelled for everyone to hear. "HORAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" they yelled as they danced around. Cyndrer turned around to see the burned forest behind her. "Oh no." she breathed. Cynder ran to the cave she was in. Spyro was close behind. "Let's kick butt" she said as she lept into the hole. Spyro followed wonering what in the world she was talking about.

Cool!!!NEED more!

Spyro jumpped into the hole to see Cynder fighting a burrowing snake. "HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" it said angerly as it licked the air to see who was there. "HI-YA!" Cynder yelled as she hit the snake with melee attack. It slashed it's tail like a wip. Cynder evaded the attack. She doubble jumpped and bit the snake's neck. BAM dead. "Whoa! Were did you learn those moves?!" Spyro said. they moved on.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Quote: boyfriend spyro

Ohhhhhh,POOR SPYRO!!!!At least he comes back to life.

Wow, she put it in a spoiler. But then you just said what the spoiler is. Nice one.

Cool stories guys nice one

Quote: boyfriend spyro

Reveal Spoiler

Ohhhhhh,POOR SPYRO!!!!At least he comes back to life.

FIX'd

The snakes were hungry. (snake's favorite food are dragons)

They ran into a lage chamber to find many egg sacks, 21 snakes, and the QUEEN! "Oh boy." said Spyro sarcasticly. All the snakes slithered twords them. Spyro and Cynder activated fury breath. Soon the room was full of dead snakes and empty eggs. All that was left was the queen. Spyro was weak, but Cyndere was still redy to fight. The queen was silent. Cynder jumped into the air. Her head almost touched the roof. She shot the snake with fear, then shadow fire. The queen fell to the floor. Dead. "The rest will die out." she said. Cynder then carried Spyro back.

Meanwhile:
"Hey! Were did they go!?" one dragon said. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one noticed they were gone until now. Just then they poped out of the ground. "THERE THEY ARE!" shouted green chic. Onyx let out a sigh. "Well it seems they are stronger than i thought." he said to himself.

Cool!!NEED more!

Now you see, Onyx was a survivor of the attack many years back. He was friends with Cynder even while she was evil. She nurtured him as a chic, so when he saw Cynder young he wanted to be with her. Yet she fell in love with Spyro. Onyx was outraged. He asked her kindly, he asked her sternly, and now he was about to have use force. "How?" was the question. He would ask himself over and over. "HOW?" he would yell when he was all alone. "Grrrrr. That idiot Spyro. How DARE he steal my girl!" he thought. Meanwhile Cynder was very tired after hulling Spyro all around. Inwitch she left the celebration, and crawled into her nest. (nests are dragon beds) "Hello Cynder." came a voice behind her. Cynder was about to scream when a rope went around her nech. She was put in a net and hulled to a large gorge. There Cynder was flown down to the bottom. In the bottom of the gorge she was carried to a small cell made out of the rock itself. "Help!!!" she screamed once inside. "Don't worry, you will be let go once we finish a deal." said the disimbodied voice. That was the moment when she saw who the voice belonged to: Onyx!
TO BE CONTINUED...

"What kind of deal, Onyx?" she asked stunned. "Well you see ether you rot in there for the rest of your life or you be my girlfriend." he replied evil in his tone. "Why do you want me?" she wondered aloud. "Oh you don't remember how you took care of me, trained me in the element of shadow while I was a chic?!" Onyx yelled. "Now I will return the favor." he said. "NO! NO, NO, NO!" Cynder cried. "Oh yes." he said. "Guards! Take her to my sleeping chamber!" he boomed. "Sir yes sir." two dragons about the same age as Cynder said.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I think I see where this is going
"Ewwwww Yewwwww" *The reader shivers*
Otherwise, great job

Not what you think.

hmm
I can wait

Onyx had a large sleeping chamber and let Cynder sleep on a couch near by. The next day he led her strait to the training room. "Whats going on." she asked. "You will see." he answered. "I know you love me." she said. Onyx slightly flinched. "Now we begin training." he said insted of clawing her face. She replied "Hmph. Fine, only because I'm trapped." She and Onyx walked to the center of the large domed room. "Now about that training..." he trailed off. "Wha-" was the only thing Cynder had time to say before she was on the ground in chains. Lieing on her back she was facing the roof. Onyx was earth dragon so he pulled the platform Cynder was on up so it was standing virticly. "Here we go again." said Cynder.

Good part
Keep going

Yeah keep going!Sorry I haven't been here in a while.

"Cynder bring out your inner self!!!" Onyx yelled as he opened the dome to a masive hurricane. Cynder started to glow. There was a boom louder than Cynder's screams of pain. Then everything was quiet. Still glowing, Cynder was now white with purple under belly and wings! For the first time Onyx was afraid. "C...Cy...Cynder, the ultimate dragon?!?!" he stamered. The chains rattled on the ground for the sonic boom had broken them. Cynder herself was floating in mid air over the gient gap in the middle of the floor. "Oh no." Onyx breathed. He ran to tell Spyro and the others to flee Earth. Cynder came to just then. "Where am I?" she groaned. She fell to the floor. She was too weak to stand so she slept. Cynder did not know what devisation she herself was about to create.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Well.... Isn't that nice? lol Great Story



Oh and some grammarical and Story telling advice? Sorry if this sounds mean, but I'm just trying to help.

-Try and start a new paragraph after a new character speaks. Also on each new paragragh put an entire empty line between each of them. (looks and grammer help there)

-Give a little bit of a hint about what's going on without giving it away (you sort of did that but killing the snakes and stuff? lol... why?)

-Don't lead people off to beleving that the problem is different than it really is. Always make sure that the main plot (Cynder killing Spyro) it always foremost in the reader's mind. The Subplot should only be the action and not the reader's mindset (if you know what I mean)

-Show and don't tell... Try to describe everything that happens in debth. For Example:

Instead of saying: "'Cynder bring out your inner self!!!' Onyx yelled as he opened the dome to a masive hurricane. Cynder started to glow."

Say something like: "'Cynder bring out your inner self!!!' Onnex yelled as the roof opened up into a mass of gusty winds. Light began radiating from Cynder's body."

That's about all that I have for now.... Just try to work on that.... If you tackel anything first try the very last one... It is most important... It is the descrition style (and what they do describe) the defines the style of a writer or even some times the genra of a story... You'll have no problem finding yourself in this writing though... and the way you write it isn't half bad right at this point anyhow Look forward to the next Chapter

Nice....

Very nice

Thank you cornys I'll try that.

Nice,love it!

Sorry I'm not that good of a speller. Inwitch it may not be very detailed. + I'm WAY to lazy to use a thasourous.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

more plz

sorry I got writers block so it may be a while. thanks for the encourigement!!!

It's ok!I am writing my own story too,but it will take me a while,I'm bearly on chapter 3 .

Onyx ran so fast he was practically fling. "Now... I un... understand why that i.. is ageist dra... dragon law. Poor Cynder and soon to be poor world," Onyx panted, "I HAVE to get to Spyro and the others before Cynder comes to!

Meanwhile:
Cynder just woke up and had a terrible head ache. "Ohhhhh. my head. I got to get up or else I'll die. Come on now uggggghh." she groaned as she slowly got to her feet. Then she noticed the gold markings all over the front of her body. She gasped at this sight. She weakly walked out of the room. "I must fore fill the legend of the wight dragon and rule the land with an iron claw!" she whispered She screamed as she flopped to the ground. Cynder noticed a large gash in her stomach. "First my head is pounding and now iI'm bleeding to death. She then slowly fell asleep.

to be continued...

Quote: boyfriend spyro

It's ok!I am writing my own story too,but it will take me a while,I'm bearly on chapter 3 .

Seriosly!?! give me the link! HURRY!!!!!

Very nice

Cynder awoke feeling awkward. She looked at the gash in her stomach. It was crusted over with dried blood. Now she felt better than ever, but hungry and thirsty. So she searched the area for some spiders or mice and maybe a puddle. Only now could she look at her surroundings. the walls were made of sandstone, carved well with dragon claws. She could tell since the stone was peach in color along with the stripes. Cynder felt a lump in her lungs. She coughed and out spurted a black beam. Not like shadow, much darker and with no gapes. She breathed heavily.
"Holy crap!!! What was that!!!" she yelled.
"that.. that... that...." her voice echoed.
A small amount of dust and sand landed on her nose.
"What the- AAA!" she screamed as she looked up to the ceiling and walls. The dome was crashing.
"HELP! PLEASE HELP! NO! NO!" she cried.
"NO!" she said in a deeper voice than usual. Her eyes, horns, and tail tip all started to glow.

TO BE CONTINUED...

oh eck
what happens next
Good chapter though

Thanks, at least SOMEONE is reading this.
And I don't rely make chapters...