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The Order of the Magics [CLOSED]
grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#1 Posted: 11:09:21 24/02/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 1: The Flamekeeper's Heart

Ruby walked through the streets with a black hood pulled over her head. She didn't want anyone to recognise or see her. She was the freak, if anyone saw her, she would get hit and called names. All because she was different. Unique. Dangerous. She turned into an alleyway and saw Jasmine, the main bully. Before Ruby could run back, she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head, as Jasmine taunted:

"Hey freak! I'm over here!"

Ruby felt the back of her head and looked at a red liquid on her fingers. A stone had made her bleed. She looked at Jasmine and saw what Ruby thought was her group of friends. She couldn't have been more wrong. Ruby ran towards the street when a painful jolt shuddered through her body, literally. One of the shadows behind Jasmine had shot her with a taser. Ruby fell to the floor in agony and looked at a red dot on her chest, then upwards to see a sniper on the roof. This wasn't at all normal. Someone must have told the police something false. But Ruby knew that wasn't true, but she hadn't done anything wrong either.

"What's happening?" Ruby asked no-one in particular. A shadow spoke out: "You have been deemed too dangerous to remain a citizen. Come with us and we'll take you somewhere safe."

"Safe from what?" Ruby asked.

"Other people will be safe." the shadow replied.

"You mean I'm a threat?"

"Yes."

"What?" Then she realised it was about her being unique. Dangerous. "I'll show you a threat!" Ruby yelled as she summoned as much strength as she could, before shooting a flame at the sniper, before jumping to her feet and adopting a fighting stance. Two years ago, she'd joined a group of people like her, who taught her how to defend herself. Now everything she'd learnt clicked into place as a cop ran towards her and Ruby reacted with a savage kick to his chest that was followed through by a fireball, taking out his friend. Ruby ran towards Jasmine and knocked her out with a punch to the side of the head. It was enough to knock someone out, but not to kill. Ruby then felt a weak flame on her fingers before she branded a sentence on Jasmine's arm. Ruby then ran away.

An hour later, Jasmine would wake up and read what it said on her arm:

You play with fire. You're going to get burned.
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#2 Posted: 23:17:17 24/02/2014
Whoa, dark, violent, and fast. I like it.
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
assassinelf Yellow Sparx Gems: 1180
#3 Posted: 23:29:55 24/02/2014
You use the following terms more than once.

"Unique. Dangerous."

"Ruby then. ....

The first one is fine, but some readers don't like it when multiple sentences start with the same two words.
You could go with

Then, Ruby......

After she did so......

And even

She then

Works fine. Just don't use any of these twice in the same paragraph.
---
Rickinelf: I ship it
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grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#4 Posted: 08:11:32 02/03/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 2: Consequential Problems

"What happened?" Vulcan, the leader of the Flamekeepers, asked. He'd chosen his name after the Roman god of fire. Even though his self defense skills weren't up to scratch, if you messed with him, your family would be likely to find a charred corpse on their doorstep.

Ruby weakly replied, "Jasmine teamed up with the cops, and I had no choice but to use force in order to survive."

"You see, here's the thing," Vulcan explained, "I can put up with some newspapers babbling about 13 year-olds attacking cops with ninja-fu and karate-jitsu. But what I don't like, is a group of several truthful cops and your enemy all saying that you're a pyromaniac that shoots fire." Vulcan looked at one of the two heavily built guards: "Show her the news."

Oilspill, the guard who specialised in explosions threw a newspaper at Ruby, she read the title and saw why Vulcan was annoyed.


WARM-BLOODED KILLER


The maniac known as Ruby Fall, has been missing for days after she violently lashed out at five FBI agents and innocent classmate Jasmine Lee, resulting in the death of Martin Crow. His other colleagues suffered a range of burns, and one had several broken ribs. Phoenix is on high alert, and are warned to be wary, as she is still on the loose.

Read more on Page 12...


Ruby felt sick, Jasmine deserved punishment, but not too serious, and the five cops had just done their jobs, and one of them had died. Then the penny dropped.

"Why were they FBI?" Ruby asked Vulcan.

"Now there's a question," Vulcan smiled, "And it turns out, someone tipped them off about a criminal who'd committed major crimes. Even though there was no proof, they can't just forget a claim like that. So then they found you, and when you ran away, they used force to detain a dangerous criminal."

"I'll murder Jasmine!" Ruby fumed, "She almost had me killed!"

"No she didn't," Vulcan said to calm down Ruby, "And if you keep up that racket, you'll end up in a cell never knowing the truth about who did."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that someone else tipped off the FBI, Jasmine just played along."

"Who was it?"

"Have you ever met Logan Pollard?"

"No, is he the one who lied?"

"Yes, and he's also the one who's waiting in the next room long. Feel free to attack him, but he can defend himself."

"Alright then," Ruby said as she stood up, "Thank you Vulcan."

She walked past the guards and into the next room. A guy, about Ruby's age, sat at a desk, with his hands cuffed. He had black hair and turquoise eyes, he looked up at Ruby and spoke in a British accent:

"I take it you're Ruby Fall?"

"I take it you're the one who tipped off the cops and is about to die?"

"Hmm, not so much." Logan said, before Ruby saw him and her glow cyan, and before she knew it, she was in the same place Logan was, while he stood up where she was, flexing his wrists. He then made the table and chair disappear, and just before Ruby hit the floor, he teleported behind her and shot an arc of cyan electricity at the cuffs, which sent a jolt, much more painful than a taser, through Ruby's body. She slumped against the floor as the cuffs disappeared from her wrists, and she heard Logan's voice in her head:

"I'm an Electrokinetic, Teleporting, Telekinetic Telepath. That means I control electricity, I can change location in the Aether, I can move things with my mind and speak in people's minds from long distances. It's best not to mess with me."

"That's enough Logan," A girl said as she came down to Ruby and examined her. All Ruby could see was a blurry face, but she heard the girl saying, "Take her to the infirmary, the one adjoined to the dorms. She's got a lot to learn if she stands a chance."
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 08:15:10 02/03/2014 by grimm12960
assassinelf Yellow Sparx Gems: 1180
#5 Posted: 13:35:57 02/03/2014
This one was a lot better. And I'm impresses by your knowledge of elemental/warlock/witch/demonic powers.
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Rickinelf: I ship it
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grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#6 Posted: 20:49:03 16/03/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 3: The Infirmary

Ruby woke up with a strange tingling sensation coming from her wrists. But even stranger was the bed she'd never seen before, complete with a strange room, full of strangers. Even worse she saw Logan Pollard looking over her, next to a pretty girl with dyed-green hair, emerald eyes and a harp symbol next to a rake on her shirt. Ruby recognised the hair, but only as a blur leaning over her.

"You feel that tingling in your wrists?" Logan asked, "That's what happens when handcuffs meet lightning from the Phase Plane."

"You lied to the cops," Ruby stated, still feeling drowsy and painful, "Why?"

"Because otherwise you wouldn't have made it here." Logan replied cockily.

"Where is here?" Ruby asked.

"The home of the Tournaments," The girl answered, "A place where only around a hundred reside, but that houses almost a million for an amazing tournament that many call the Order of the Magics. Where teams of 4 compete for a place to live along with infinite glory here. Those who lose go back to the mortal realm and are allowed to compete again next year. You've been lucky enough to be chosen. My name is Rose, and I live up to it with my heritage, a child of both Apollo and Demeter, I'm not like other demigods or magicians here, I'm the goddess of healing and life. Apollo is the god of the sun and healing, Demeter's the goddess of nature. Unfortunately my only duties here are to run the infirmary, and Logan's are to run the Library and Sword Arena."

"You're telling me that this guy is a librarian?" Ruby laughed, but was met by a sword at the throat and a hand holding a ball of electricity above her head in a matter of seconds.

"And the head of Swordplay." Logan sneered, before dissipating the lightning and making the sword turn to steam.

"So," Ruby gulped, "Am I chosen or something?"

"Exactly that," Rose smiled, "I've got my hands full in here with all of the patients, someone though a jousting competition would be fun, but I'm sure Logan would be glad to show you to your dorm."

Logan practically swallowed his tongue as he replied with, "Actually I've got to teach a lesson on disarming in ten minutes, why don't I find someone else?"

"Who?" Rose asked cautiously.

"Ethan?" Logan requested.

"Fine, but tell him not to prank her," Rose told Logan, "I can do without another titanium surgery."

Ruby was fairly worried as Logan held out his hand, palm down, and his eyes glowed cyan, and soon a boy appeared in front of him, encased in turquoise energy. He had dark brown hair, deep brown eyes and a ring and earrings with diamonds. He had a steel dagger and scabbard attached to his belt and a face like stone.

"Logan," He said, "Why'd you teleport me?"

"I need you to escort a new recruit to Hephaestus' Section, Ethan."

"Okay, but you owe me," Ethan said as he turned to Ruby, "I'm Ethan, the son of Gaia, which causes plenty of genetic confusion around here. I think I'm your great-grandad or something, and I'm also a master Geomancer."

Logan disappeared into a cloud of cyan energy, and Rose was already helping a patient with a spear in his chest.

"I guess I'm going with you then." Ruby said, as she turned to Ethan.
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#7 Posted: 00:01:50 17/03/2014
I like the idea of demigods. It works well.
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#8 Posted: 17:04:00 18/03/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 4: Premonitions

When Ruby had heard Hephaestus, she expected people like Vulcan, scrawny but powerful. What she got was the opposite. In every room she saw, there were at least 2 powerfully built people, with huge muscles everywhere. By the time she reached her own room, her feet ached and she felt tiny, like an atom in the universe. How could she stand a chance against all of these people? Ruby hadn't realised what time it was, and was surprised when she found it was past midnight. She'd been knocked unconscious, so she'd already slept, but she still fell asleep in a comfy bed, but her dreams were less comfortable.

She saw herself trapped in an open arena, with spectators filling the crowds, sand beneath her feet and Logan alongside her, with Ethan behind and a black-haired boy in clothes that looked like shadow, with an obsidian sword in his hand. She heard rumbling in the ground, until she turned around and saw Ethan on a huge stone pillar, that had risen from the sand. He jumped from the pillar and created a crater with jagged spike sticking out of the ground where he landed. Then the spikes moved away, in a ripple. Ruby jumped over them, so did the boy with black hair. Logan however teleported to where a person who looked a lot like Rose stood. Logan jumped out of nothing and punched the girl in the stomach, with such force she flew backwards. Meanwhile, the spikes had caught up with a small boy, but he raised his hand in the air, and a huge robotic fist lifted him off the ground. Ethan leaped from the crater and shot several iron spikes from the floor. Meanwhile, a tornado of metal swarmed around the small boy's body until it formed body armour, complete with a laser cannon from his hand. But the sentient spikes saw a chink in his armour and stabbed him. He fell to the floor, and the fist fell too, into the ground. Another boy stood next to Ruby, who held a lightning bolt in his hand, but before he threw it at Ruby, she blasted him back in a tornado of flames.

"Blake!" Logan yelled towards the boy who stood next to Ruby, "Get Violet!"

Violet was a girl with purple hair on her head and purple crystals swarming around her. She shot them like missiles towards Blake, but they passed through him like a ghost. He then ran towards Violet and sliced his sword towards her, but she shot him back with purple flames. She held an amethyst sword above her head, but before she could bring it down, Ruby ran towards her and blasted her with flames. Blake took the opportunity and opened a crack in the ground that snaked towards them, that ghosts flew from and attacked Violet. Ruby stepped back, as Violet slashed wildly with her sword, and when a ghost stole it, she summoned a crystal from the ground that she used to cut through the ghosts in a storm of purple. Violet then moved towards Blake and slashed his throat with one quick movement. When Logan tried to help Ruby, Violet slashed through Logan too, moving on towards Ethan, who'd ran to help. Violet stood in a mist of blood and sliced Ruby's throat. As Ruby died in the dream, she woke up in reality.

"What happened?" Ruby said as she woke up. She saw Violet stood over her bed, and Ruby quickly slashed back her covers and pinned Violet in under five seconds. Clearly Violet was surprised, but she quickly fought back and pinned Ruby against the wall with a crystal near each limb.

"What was that all about?" Violet asked, "Logan sent me down here to take you to the Forge so you can meet your family and get to know them."

"You know Logan?" Ruby inquired.

"Yes," Violet answered, "We're close friends actually."

"Friends?" Ruby laughed, "You didn't look friendly in my dream when you killed him."

"You saw me in your dream?"

"Yeah, in a sandy sort of arena place, you, a small kid that used magnetism, a girl who looked like Rose, you know head of the infirmary? And also a boy with a lightning bolt."

Violet looked pale, "That's my team. We're entering the tournament as one group. And the sandy place is the arena that the tournaments take place. I don't think we're going to the Forge just yet. I'm taking you to the Oracle."

"Okay, but mind removing the crystals first? And another thing, I also saw a kid on my team, there was Logan and Ethan, along with a boy that summoned ghosts called Blake."

Violet went paler as she removed the crystals, "He's the son of Hades, who controls the dead. I hope I'm wrong about him being on your team."

"Why?"

"Because anyone who faces you doesn't have a hope in hell."
NINJAsk11 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1124
#9 Posted: 17:08:08 18/03/2014
Woah dude! You should post it in the "Post your links to your fanfics" topic in FanFiction
grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#10 Posted: 21:45:02 20/03/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 5: The Oracle

If the Oracle sounded mysterious and creepy to you, you're spot on. As if the door to the Labyrinth wasn't creepy enough, with animated Gargoyles guarding the door with images of Theseus and the Minotaur along with a bunch of other myths, like a six headed monster on a cliff, an evil whirlpool and a wall of shadows around a deathly palace. When you entered the Labyrinth, Violet took Ruby through a secret passageway, that didn't have monsters that could kill you in 0.00001 seconds. When they arrived at the door with a snake eating it's own tail, Violet said something like an incantation:

"O, Oroborus,
Thee of Infinity,
I ask for safe passage,
And granted entry,
I have dire news,
For the sacred to hear,
A tale of need,
For the ancient's ear."

The snake began spinning in the door, until it stopped ten seconds later as the door disappeared into smoke, Violet stepped inside and Ruby followed cautiously. The door reappeared behind them, trapping them inside a room where a young woman sat on a golden throne, wearing a golden robe that covered her whole body. The girl was only about 18, and she wore a crown with every jewel you can think of, rubies, sapphires, opal, onyx, jade, emerald, pearl, platinum, amber, citrine, and loads of others. She looked at Ruby as though she'd expected her as the girl said:

"I see you got my message? Morpheus, the god of dreams, is almost like a minion to me. I see you got your opponent to help as well. You play a risky game Violet, you could've won."

Violet had a look of pained defeat on her face, "I know, but she already knew she had Ethan, Logan and Blake on her team. Unless she lied, I didn't have a chance anyway."

"Dreams do not lie, they only show the future that will happen if you do not try to change it. Or they involve things that make no sense whatsoever."

"You're telling me that this place still has sense?" Ruby laughed incredulously, "Because I've seen evidence against that, quite a lot actually."

The woman moved faster than she could have done, in a blur of gold, she appeared behind Ruby and said:

"Sense and Logic are two different things. Sense is something that goes by the logic of the place you are in. Logic depends on the density of Phase Energy and it's position in the Chrono-spatial Planes. In this part of the universe you will find logic is more flexible than in between Gaia and Ouranos."

"How did you move so fast?" Ruby asked.

The girl just smiled, "I am simply the Oracle's helper, my name is Vanessa Crow, I am the daughter of Chronos, not the Titan but the primordial personification of time. The real Oracle is behind the throne."

Suddenly, the throne turned 180° to reveal an identical throne with an ancient woman sat on it. She turned to Ruby and only said:

"Use your knowledge of the future, to mold it in your image."

And with that, Ruby and Violet fell to the floor, unconscious.
assassinelf Yellow Sparx Gems: 1180
#11 Posted: 22:57:46 05/04/2014
I honestly expected this to be semi molded after any if a few different series. But you surprised me. Bravo!
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kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#12 Posted: 23:39:54 05/04/2014
Seems sorta like a mixture between Percy Jackson and the Last Airbender. It has a lot of potential.
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
grimm12960 Green Sparx Gems: 429
#13 Posted: 19:25:42 10/04/2014 | Topic Creator
Chapter 6: Blake

Falling to the floor of a creepy witch-oracle's lair was pushing it, but waking up in a graveyard was crossing the line. Ruby looked around at the carved gravestones surrounding her & Violet. She saw what looked like a haunted house, actually, more of a haunted mansion/castle beyond gates made of bone. Everything was shrouded in a sort of black mist, and she saw statues of a thousand different monsters staring down at her. They were just a bit creepy, until a lion-goat-snake thing jumped at her and shot fire at her face. Luckily, fire didn't seem to affect Ruby, but it did affect the statue, and it crumbled to ashes. She turned around to see a monster with seven snake-like heads about to jump on Violet, and in two seconds & a blur of purple, the snake things was a pile of dust. More statues were starting to move when a boy who was probably Blake walked into the graveyard. He held a black scythe in his hand, and he was literally the boy of her dreams. He stabbed the blunt end of his scythe into the ground, and the statues walked back to their pedestals & froze, even the deceased creatures reformed and went back to their stands.

"Blake?" Ruby asked.

"You know my name?" Blake questioned.

"Long story short," Ruby replied, "I had a premonition in a dream where you, Ethan & Logan were on my team and then we attacked a magnetic metal kid, a healer & a 'thunder-person' who attacked me, but Ethan fought the metal guy, Logan fought the healer & I fought the thunder guy, and then Logan told you to attack her," Ruby pointed to Violet, "Violet, in case you don't know, well, she killed all of us and then I woke up with her waking me up, she took me to the Oracle who was actually a daughter of Cronus, and then the real Oracle sent us here."

"Where you just destroyed a Chimera & a Hydra before I came in and you forgot to take a breath explaining." Blake finished.

"Pretty much," Violet replied.

"Well then," Blake said, "Let's go to the surface."

"The surface?" Ruby wondered.

"This is the Underworld," Blake explained, "Where children of Hades, Pluto, Anubis, Osiris, Thanatos and pretty much every death god stays during the Order of the Magics."

Blake pulled a turquoise stone with a Latin inscription from his robe. He read the inscription aloud in English: "I summon the child of Thoth, the caller of the followers, the immortal scribe, to appear here."

Logan suddenly appeared next to him, blinking a few times to adjust to the dim glow before saying:

"I told you to bring Ruby to the Library this morning, Violet. Not to Blake, and why did you even take her here?"

"I know Blake," Ruby announced, before describing everything that had happened.

"Alright then," Logan said, "Let's go find Ethan and enter into the competition."

Ruby felt happy as her molecules were rearranged by Logan & brought to the surface. Little did she know this was a happy beginning,

To a painful end.
kardonis Platinum Sparx Gems: 6366
#14 Posted: 19:31:27 10/04/2014
Wow, this is really good. Looking forward to the next one.
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
assassinelf Yellow Sparx Gems: 1180
#15 Posted: 16:45:29 12/04/2014
This is pretty good.
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Rickinelf: I ship it
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