Dr. Pepper
---
I'm so sad. My parents wouldn't let me get a puppy. They let me get a rock though. Not quite the same. My rock is boring. He doesn't eat, sleep, or even breathe. Call 1-pet-rock for the Rock-A-House pet rock! He sits on your couch, has parties while you're away, steals from your wallet, and is super lazy! He's only two hundred dollars plus eight payments of a thousand bucks! He will come in his own carrying case decked out with your broken, most expensive watch! The Rock-A-House rock will also cone with his own food: your favorite shirt! That'll last him for 10 YEARS! Call now! Quantities are limited!
---
Gah! I had too much Dr. Pepper and too many Snickers! Sugar rush! Help!
Just listen to my joking around. I sound nutz!
---
But really, I need help. I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper. What should I drink instead?
P.S. : I really am insane though.