darkSpyro

Hello! This is Dmcrocks, making my first attempt at a fan-fic in a while.
It's about Dawson, a young trainer in the Hoenn region. It follows his journey. He's got a friend, Cloe, who is still a mystery. And his Rival, a currently in-named boy who makes fun of Dawson's starter Pokemon. He'll be introduced in Chapter 2. Well, without further ado:

Chapter 1

A-DRING! A-DRING!
The alarm dinged, waking 12 year old Dawson. His blonde hair was a bed-head mess, his eyes still squinty from his sleep.
He yawned, rubbing his eyes. His arms stretched out in an awkward 90 degree angle.
He throw his comforter off his body and slid of the bed. His feet made a small CLUNK on the hard wood flooring in his room. He inched to closet, moving about as slow as the Torkoal that lived cave near his house.
His pushed open the white shutter doors, revealing a mess of clothes, posters, and shoe boxes. Dawson reached up and pulled his good shirt of the bar. The shirt was a white shirt with yellow sleeves that stopped between his wrist and elbow. He slipped his jeans on.
"It's the day!" He said, with true excitement in his voice. He clunked over to his bed and plopped down on the fluffy mattress. H started tying his new blue sneakers.
A black one-strap backpack sat on the floor. It had yellow lines outlining the zippers and pockets. On the center was a poke ball printed on the fabric. He slipped it over his shoulder.
"Dawson!" His mom called. "It's almost time! The other kids are going to get the good Pokemon!"
Those words put pep in Dawson's step. He rushed into the bathroom and sloppily brushed his teeth. He rinsed the sink out and rushed to the stairs.
In a rush, he started skipping steps. "Wa-Oh!" He shrieked as he slipped, falling onto his bottom. He skipped down the steps on his bottom. "Wa-oh-oh-ah-oh!" He screamed, each syllable on a step.
A couple steps from the bottom, he did a back flip and landed hard on his back on the hard-wood flooring of his living room. Oomph, his breath was taking away.
"Dawson!" His mom shrieked. She hustled out of the the kitchen, leaving what ever was in the oven alone. She threw her oven mitts off and leaned down over Dawson. "My baby! Are you alright?!"
Dawson pushed himself up with his hands. He stood up and brushed himself off. "I'm fine, Mom!" He squeezed his Mom tightly. She leaned down and kissed his fore head.
"Bye, Mom!" He called, heading out the door. He grabbed his helmet and bike, fastened his strap, and rode the sidewalk.

*****

Dawson pulled up at Birch's lab. He steered his bike into the rack, or next to the rack. It was full of bikes. One pink, girly one stood out.
He headed through the doors, ending up at the back of a small crowd of boys. Up front, a short man with frisky hair and 5:00 shadow, coughed to get the
Attention of the kids.
"Please! Make a line!" He shouted.
The kids all squished into a single file line and Dawson was the caboose.
"When you get to the front, you will have a choose to make. We have 12 Pokemon from 3 types. Water, Fire, and Grass. There are 4 Pokemon in each type."
Dawson silently counted all the kids. There were 13. He was the thirteenth. The line moved slowly as kids picked their Pokemon. He watched the only girl grab the last pokeball from the middle line.
4 more kids chose. Dawson stood in front of the table, a tear building up in his left eye. The man behind the table looked up, a smirk crossed his face. "You're the one. Wait here."
Dawson grew excited, but stood still.
The man returned, a pokeball in his hand. "Here. You're its trainer, I know it!" The man stuck his finger in the air to emphasize his point.
Dawson stuck the ball in his belt and ran out the door. His bike was one of the only two left. The other was the pink girly one. It's owner stood by it, her eyes on Dawson. "Hi, I'm Cloe."
Dawson was surprised to hear her talk. "I'm Dawson."
"What Pokemon did you get?" She blurted.
Dawson looked down at his belt. "I don't know, you wanna find out?"
Her eyes lit up as she nodded.
"Go, Pokemon!" Dawson called.
He threw the pokeball. It burst open, red light shooting a beam onto the ground. A small egg shaped appeared. Except, the top was cracked, allowing a small head to show itself.
Dawson looked horrified. Cloe stared in awe.
In unison they said, "Togepi."
End of Chapter 1

What do you think? Please be honest.

Good!

This is really good and detailed. I'm enjoying it.

An interesting start. It's got good dialogue, the detail could use a little bit more in my opinion but I'm not complaining. Nice job DM!