darkSpyro

This is the tale of Spyro, Cynder, and Layci along with the guidence of Ozai,Ursa(Just had 2 include them.) And the new 4 Dragon Guardians.
Told in Spyro's P.O.V. Also told after DOTD.

Chapter One: Meet the Fire Dragons

After defeating Malefor, I fell in a strange land called Pravik, The Land of Celebration. Only the greatest dragons could get through it's thick forests. I see someone, An Ape? I quickly get into my battle stance, But as my vision clears I see Cynder, half flying. "Spyro! Get up you lazy bones!" She said. "I would like you to meet my new friends!" Cynder then said. I followed her to an opening in the forest. "Spyro, This is Layci, Ozai, and Ursa!" Cynder said. "What's Up?" Said Layci. "Hey guys! I defeated the Dark Master and toasted him up one!" I said. Ursa's mouth flew open. "Wow, That's Awesome!" she said. "Spyro, Do you see that cave, high up on that mountain? That's the home of Moredena and Oni, Two twin Dark Dragons, They are the daughters of Malefor, You know what else? They're so angry at you about their father being slain, They want to kill you." Ozai said. I was shocked, More battle after a long battle 6 weeks ago??

U like?

...Waiting...

People arn't going to post cuz everyone hates me...

Well, it is quite short and I think it needs some more description.

...

Just to paint a better picture. Think of yourself as a game designer working on what you hope to be the Spyro game to really propel the franchise. I see you are using a first-person narrative. A good way to add some more description through imagery would be to have Spyro comparing some of the geographical features of Pravik in relation to the Dragon Temple, or maybe Spyro\'s swampy homeland. The dialogue itself is concise and the pacing is good, but it just needs more scenery.

Its cool!

Chapter Two: Meeting Masugami (This one's short! )

I was very tired from my long battle with Malefor, I followed Cynder and dragged my battered limbs over to a small cave in the clearing of the forest. Suddenly, a giant purple-red dragon that looked a lot like me showed up. "I am Masugami, Dragon elder of fire, You will have to fight me in order to pass." Ozai grew furious and breathed lightning at the massive dragon,
Masugami then reared up and summoned a fire ape. I defeated it with a tail whip. Finaly Cynder did a Fear Fury and scared the massive beast to death. Petrified, Masugami let us inside.

actiony story. more please!

I'm out of ideas.

Im not even gonna bother reading this! U put me off writing my fanfic! I bet u never even read it!

Quote: bionicle2809

Im not even gonna bother reading this! U put me off writing my fanfic! I bet u never even read it!

I DID NOT
OMG
WTF
BBQ

Quote: redthedragon

Quote: bionicle2809

Im not even gonna bother reading this! U put me off writing my fanfic! I bet u never even read it!

I DID NOT
OMG
WTF
BBQ

Stop spamming.

Quote: redthedragon

Quote: bionicle2809

Im not even gonna bother reading this! U put me off writing my fanfic! I bet u never even read it!

I DID NOT
OMG
WTF
BBQ

Then if it wasn't you who said it sux who did!

Quote: redthedragon

People arn't going to post cuz everyone hates me...

I don't hate you