darkSpyro

Ill start it later... Im at my cousins house. And quick question: how do u get a picture? U know on your account where it says your name and a sparx and gems?
Im new here

Simply click "choose picture" on your account setting...

Oh ok thx!

Try to read mine as your experience...
Search for Dragon Lifetime pt. 1 A new Beginning

Thanks! Your pretty nice to rookies!

Ok cant find it.

And just saying me and my cousins made up a game and i wanted to write a book. Each of us made a charactor.


Charactors
Kaptro (cape-drow)
Gia
Angela
Stella
Flame Slinger (lightning bow and arrowdragon)
Ashley
Penny
Ignitus
Volteer
Cyril
Terrador
Ok ill start in a little bit

See Kaptro
"Look! Its hatching!" Ivey said. Then she looked up. She forgot that terrador, her mate, had left to go be a guardian. "Oh yeah, i forgot." it hatched. "A purple dragon!" she exclamed. "I cant belive this is happening! Ill name u... Kaptro," "Over here! I got one!" a voice called. "malefors forces!" she turned to Kaptro. "Run! Dont come back for mommy." Kaptro looked scared."ok mommy," he ran as fast as his little lehs could take him.


Ok, its like 9:00 here, and i got up early this morning, so im gonna go to bed. Ill fininsh the chapter tomorrow....*falls asleep* ok bye!

P.S. Thank u Youla 4 being so nice to me. Wanna be friends?

Hm... not bad.

Nice beggining...
Tips: Don't make your story too short...

Sure...let's be friend...
Another tips...describe your background so we can imagine the situations there...

Ok. I was just tired last night and i want the beginning to go fast so i can get to the... I wont tell u

Ok. Sorry. That paragraph was in the forest. Thats where Kaptro was born.

Ill start the next one later.

See Gia
See Angela
See Stella

In the not so busy dragon city Gaia wandered the empty streets looking for Gia, her dauter. "Gia! Gia come back here!" Gaia called. Gia came running. "Sorry mom. I just love this dragon city!" "Its ok. U are one adventureus little earth dragon," Gaia then sighed. She knew this day would come. "Gia, u need to..." "Go get something?" "No. U need-" "To go hunting? I just hatched!" "no! Stop interupting!
It just that.." "Mom can i ask u a question? Why did u, a earth dragon, marry Volteer, a lightning dragon?" "Because we love each other. U need to go to the dragon temple. I can feel that some thing bad is gonna happen." "ok. Ill leave after dinner." "No. After lunch. U dont need to be out at night." "Ok."

Angela watched the snowflake carfully. She was gonna get this one. Angela lives in the cold snow land. Shes a ice dragon. "Gotcha!" she missed it. "Dang!" "Angela! Come here!" Icey, her mom, needed to send her to live at the dragon temple to learn some things wirh ice with her dad, Cyril. "u need to go to the dragon city to learn some ice things." "But its not cold there!" "Stop! U need to leave now if u want to get there on time," "But i want to get there late!" Icey gave her the look. "Bye" "Bye..."

"How are ya mom?" Stella asked. "Good," Ember said. "mom. Why did u dump Ignitus?" "Because he wasnt the man for me" "But why'd u choose Flame? I hate Flame." "Stella! Dont say that! I love Flame." Stella and Ember amd flame lived by a volcano. Ember dumped Ignitus right after she laid the egg. But she got sick a year later because she breathed in ashes from the volcano. "Im sick of Flame! Im going to see Dad! Im gonna learn some things about fire!" Stella stormed off. Just then Flame walked out. He looked at Ember. "She'll be back." she said.
She was wrong.


I hope u all liked chapter one! Chapter 2 on its way!

Quote:

"She'll be back." she said.
She was wrong.

Wasn't it better if Flame that embrace Ember, is it "he" or "she"
Sorry, no offense

Another tips. Don't just put dialogue straight from each dialogue, you can make the reader confuse...

Um... Just a simple question... How old are Ember and Ignitus??? I wonder what is Ignitus doing on your story
About tips... Same as Youla, don't make the dialogue straight like that, try to make the character respond it first with some movement or emotion before he/she reply to what he/she have told to him/her. Example 'Smile, nod, sad, confuse, glare, mad, etc.'

Yeah, I wonder...if Ember is in age that fit to lay an egg... How old Ignitus is...

Ok all the moms(like ember) and the dads(like ignitus) are the same age.
1 short chapter, then in chapter 3 thell meet.

Im trying to put things in order, so untill chapter 3 each paragraph is gonna be Kaptro gia angela stella
4 paragraphs in chapter 2 then they meet. Chapter 2 is gonna be short

It's okay... Just do your best! Youla and I will read it and help you if there's something wrong...

Yeah, we just waiting

Kaptro
"Sticks for dinner. Again," kaptro said. He looked around at the beautiful forest. He loved it, but wanted a better life. He thought about going to the dragon city, but didnt want to look for it. "*sigh* i need to go. Ill go to the dragon city. Today!" he looked down at his sticks. "Or, or right now would be fine," He took air. He looked to his left. "Oh. There it it is!" he started to fly to it.

Gia
Gia walked out of her room and saw terrador. "Good morning Terrador!" gia said. "Good morning Gia." "So.... Do u have any thing to me?" "I cant say i do...." Gia jumped on his back. "Yes u do!" Terrador laughed. "Ok ok i give up." Terrador always gives Gia sheep hooves. They tast like candy. Gia knows Terrador better than any one else because she trains with him. She has lived in Dragon Temple for 3 years.

Angela
Angla looked up at the towering temple. "Wow," she whispered. "The Dragon Temple." She ran up the stairs to the door.

Stella
"And heres your room," the ape said. Apes work at the dragon temple now that they are free from Malefors grip. "Why thank u." stella said. "I picked this room or a reason." Stella looked at him.
The ape continued, "There are 3 other dragons your age in rooms around u." It was night so they were quite.


Ok, they are like 3 now but dragon ages are different. I cant explain it. Oh yeah! They are as old as spyro as he is in the eternal night. Ok

Good... Keep it up!

Good, this chapter goes better...I liked it...

Thanks! Ill start chapter 3 tonight.

Chapter 3

Kaptro woke up in his bed in his room in the dragon temple. They added several rooms to make it like a dragon hotel. Each room has a bed, a window that u can crawl out of onto a platform that connects to all of the rooms, and a bed. He walked out only to see a female earth dragon walk out of her room. "Oh! Im sorry! Did i wake u up?" Kaptro asked. "Oh, no i was up! I thought i woke u up." Gia said. "Im Kaptro," "Im Gia," "So, Gia, is there other dragons our age here?" Kaptro asked. "Um... Maybe one or two," Gia said. "Well, we should go down to breakfast." "Yeah im starving," "Is there sheep?" "U bet!" "Great!" Kaptro loved sheep.

"*yawn* uhhhhhh" Angela hates mornings. She hates the dragon temle. She got out of bed. She walked down to the dining room to see a Earth dragon, a fire dragon, and a purple dragon that looked her age. "Hey! Your a purple dragon! I cant belive this! Im Angela.and u are..." "Im Kaptro. Tjis is Gia," he nodded to Gia "and tjis is Stella," he nodded at stella. "Cool," Angela said." Wanna hang out after breakfast?" "Sure!" Kaptro exclaimed.


Sorry i typed tjis instead of this.


Is it good Youla and Denragon?

Ah good, an entertaining story to peer through.

What does peer mean?

Never mind the meaning, JUST WRITE MORE!

I will!


Chapter 4 (1/4)

"Haha! Cant get me!" they were playing tag. Them they bumped into ignitus. "Umm.." Kaptro was scared. Stella spoke up."Sorry dad! We were just-" "its ok. But u kids need to get training." "Ok. Come on guys!" stella said. "Ok dad im read-" "no," ignitus said. "I need to speak to kaptro first. Alone."
"ok dad" Stella ran to her room to look out the window at the dragon city.

"So.. What do u need to talk to me about?" Kaptro asked. "Kaptro, u need to know the past. Close your eyes, and listen to what i say." Kaptro nodded and closed his eyes. "20,000 years ago, a purple dragon named malefor was born," Kaptro imagened a little him when hevwas little, " He grew up and decided to use his powers for evil," He imaganed him but with red eyes. "No one could stop him. Is powers... Too powerful" Kaptro shuddered. "10,000 years after Malefor, another purple dragpn was born. Malefors forces then came to the dragon temple. I could only save one. The purple one. I put him in a bsket thing and sent him down the river." Kaptro imaged an egg floating down the river. "I next saw him when he was fighting off the apes, his name spyro." Kaptro smiled at the tought of a good purple dragon like himself. "He ment a black dragon named cynder, and they fell in love. He defeated malefor and he and cynder were happy. But out of no where malefor came and killed both of them. He is not dead any more... We need u to defeat him." Kaptro imaged him killing a purple dragon. "Nooooo!!!!!!!" Kaptro shouted. "Whats wrong?" asked ignitus. "I.. I ... I cant k...k...kil a dragon. I feels wrong. And why arent there more purple dragons?" ignitus sighed. "Purple dragons can master all of the elements; fire earth lightning ice and convexity." Kaptro didnt want to be the purple dragon. He was scared

Should I answer you question at Chapter 3?
(That means 'Nice') Lolz

P.S. You should change when Angela meet Kaptro and she says "Hey! Your a purple dragon..........." to "Hey! You are a purple dragon......."

Sorry, school problem on my way...
Yeah, it's good, the story starting to be clear
Obviously, Denragon's profile picture is the way Spyro looks after killed by Malefor

Chapter 4 (2/4)

"Well ether u kill him or we all die." ignitus replied. "But it feels wrong. Killing a legendary purple dragon," Kaptro said. Ignitus sighed


Ill finish it later

Okay... I'll wait for it...

Yup. I need the right time

"well your gonna have to have somone else kill him. I cant do it," kaptro said. Ignitus walked out of the room. Kaptro followed.

I have an advice... when you finish all part of one chapter on your story, copy all of the part of the chapter and combine it into one full chapter...

K. Ill do that