darkSpyro

In case you didn't figure it out from the title, this is a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon fanfic. The Pokemon from Black and White will be added in this, some roles will be switched, and the plot will be somewhat different. Now, I am trying to sort of follow the flow of the PMD games, but also try to make it different enough so that its not just a story version of the games using my own team. I'm not going to tell you how different it will be, since I am still technically working out the details of that myself.
I would appreciate any constructive critizism you have, along with any tips or advice you wish to provide. Anything would be helpful, as it can help me to improve, or simply point out a mistake I may have overlooked. You can tell me its bad, I don't mind, just tell me WHY exactly its bad so that maybe I can fix the problem.
Anyway, I'll go ahead and post the first chapter. Tell me what you think.

Chapter 1: Don't Have the Guts

It was early morning, and the sun was still rising in the sky. The sky itself was still getting lighter, the world slowly being bathed in sunlight. Those that lived in the small town were just now getting up, and getting ready to greet the day and go about their buisness as usual. The town didn't have a whole lot, but then again, they didn't really need much. There was the local bank, run by Golett, a dark yet friendly Pokemon who was more than willing to store and protect someone's money. Although he tended to creep out some Pokemon. There was the storage, run by Watchog. He was always very alert and cautious, as if always on the lookout for something that might get him. Rumor has it he has a fear of everything. However, he makes a great gaurd, and is willing to protect and store someone's belongings. There was also the market, run by the Emolga sisters. They were sweet and friendly, and could quite litterally talk your ear off if you gave them the chance. They always seemed to hear all the gossip and know everything about everyone in town. The daycare was run by Audino, a calm, quiet, and shy Pokemon. Although timid, she's very sweet and extra careful. She's great at watching over eggs, treating them with the utmost care she could provide.

There was also the apprasial shop, run by Swoobat. He could be rather hyper, crazy, and eccentric at times, but he is skilled at his job. The link shop is run by Elecktross. He tends to be a it grumpy and not very friendly, but once you get to know him, he's not as sour as he seems. The local dojo is run by Gurrdur. He's tough, prideful, and competitive. He's always training to get stronger, and will even challenge visitors to a battle. There was also P3 Cafe, run by brothers Pansage, Pansear, and Panpour. Pansear is the oldest of the group, and considers himself leader and head owner. He's the one that deals more with the customers, as he is the most social one of the three. Pansage is the second oldest, and the best cook. He makes the best juice around, and has a calm and peaceful nature. Panpour is the youngest, and he runs the recycling center. He's nice and smart, and is more than happy to explain things that don't make sense. There is also a small stage in the cafe where three Maractus perform. The town elder is Sawsbuck. He is old and wise, and loves telling stories. He can usually be found either walking around town and chatting with the residents, or relaxing at Lake Tranquility in Serenity Forrest, just outside of Fortune Town. Reuniclus is the officer of town, and is in charge of catching outlaws with the help of Solosis.

At the edge of town, on a cliff overlooking the ocean, was the guild for eploration teams. The guild was owned and run by Guildmaster Meinshao, and her second-in-command, Braviary. They already had a few members that were training at the guild, and a couple of them had specific jobs or chores that needed to be done. The guild reisidents were starting their day of work now, and didn't expect anything unusual or different to happen today. However, one Pokemon in town hoped to accomplish something today and change his life.

A Riolu sighed as he paced back and forth by the well at the base of the cliff. He wore an unusual necklace, which was a pendant of the YinYang symbol. He paused a moment and sighed again as he gazed up at the guild before him. He just stood there in silence a moment, staring. The Riolu had come by this guild every day for a week now, and still didn't have the courage to go up there and ask to be a member. He had arrived into town just last week, hoping to join the guild. However, he hadn't even faced them yet, and was currently staying with a friend in town.

"I can't do it...." He muttered with a sigh. "Its been my dream to become a great explorer, and yet I can't even walk up to the darn guild..... Stupid tough guild..... Stupid fear....... Whoever heard of a fighting type that was a coward.....?!" She snapped at no one, kicking at the ground. He then took a deep breath, calming himself down. Then he raised a paw up to his necklace and clutched it tightly. "Not even my little treasure is giving me and confidance...... I thought having it with me might help..... Guess its a lost cause..... I'm never gonna be brave enough to join the guild, and I'm never gonna find out what this necklace goes to, what it means...... This was a stupid idea from the beginning.... I should just leave and never come back...." He muttered. Then he closed his eyes tightly, and took off running, bolting to the forrest.

I see what you did there.

Anyway, great introduction. Since I've played, I can actually visualize everything going around pretty well. I like how you replaced all of them. Good start!

Though, perhaps you could make it just a liiiiitle more different than Time, Darkness, and Sky if y'know what I mean. Running parallels is good, but I don't usually like it when it's too much.

Yeah, I know it looks pretty much the same right now. It changes up more in the next chapter. I just wanted to try writing this for the fun of it.

Chapter 2: New Friends and Enemies

Riolu kept running, not even slowing down or looking back. He wasn't really even looking ahead. He ran swiftly through Serenity Forrest, heading for Lake Tranquility. Perhaps the quiet and peacefu place ould calm him down. He just knew he wanted to be alone. Then suddenly he tripped over something, and cried out as he went flying into the dirt. He hit the ground with a thud, and groaned slightly. The Riolu was then startled when he heard a moan. His eyes shot open and he jumped, holding his paws up defensively.

"Who's there?!" He growled. He then saw what he had tripped over, only it wasn't a rock or a branch. What he had tripped over just happened to be a Pokemon, a Shiney Charmander to be exact. The Riolu gasped and his eyesed widened. This Pokemon lay motionless on the ground, and looked hurt. The Charmander lay on his side, his eyes closed tightly, his teeth gritted. His tail flame was also smaller than normal. He hurried over to the Fire-type Pokemon and kneeled beside him. "Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?! Do you need healing?!" He asked, urgently. The Charmander simply moaned again and twitched slightly. The Riolu sat up, fidgeting, looking around anxiously. "Oh, what do I do?! What do I do?!" He asked, panicing. Then he thought of something. "I'll go back for help! That's what I'll do! I'll go get Audino! Maybe she can help!" He said, and hopped up to leave. Then he stopped and glanced back.

The Shiney Charmander just lay there, very still. The only sound he made was the occasional groan. He looked in bad shape, more importantly, his tail flame was weak. Riolu sighed. He knew he couldn't just leave him there all alone. He then looked around, hoping to find some kind of item that might help. Maybe there was an Oran Berry bush around him somewhere. He was in luck. There just happened to be an Oran Berry bush nearby. He just hadn't seen it earlier, because his eyes were closed.

"Yes! An Oran Berry bush! I can use one to heal the Charmander!" He grinned. Then the Riolu hurried over to the bush and plucked one of the berries. He rushed back to the Charmander and plopped the Oran Berry into his mouth. "Come on, chew! Please, chew! Please be okay!" He begged. The Charmander began to chew the berry, and then swallowed. His tail flame then increased in size and burned brightly. The Fire-type Pokemon opened his eyes and looked up at his rescuer. "Oh, thank goodness you're okay!" The Riolu smiled.

"......Wha......? What.... happened......? Where..... am I.....? Who are you......?" He muttered.

"Uh, well, I'm not so sure exactly on the what. I just found you unconcious out here and gave you an Oran Berry. You're in the Serenity Forrest, by the way, just outside of Fortune Town. My name is Spirit, I'm a Riolu, as you can probally tell." He smiled. The Charmander than sat up, getting a better look at this Riolu named Spirit.

"Well..... I thank you for helping me..... Except..... I don't remember anything before now...." He said, quietly. Spirit blinked and cocked his head to the side.

"You don't? You have no memory at all?" He asked, curiously. The Charmander shoke his head.

"No, nothing. I know my name, and that's about it."

"Okay then, what's your name?"

"My name is Soul, and I know I'm a Shiney Charmander." He stated. Spirit nodded.

"Well, its nice to meet you, Soul." He smiled. Then suddenly, someone bumped into Spirit and knocked him down.

"Have a nice trip, loser! See you next fall!" A voice laughed. Another laughed also as they took Spirit's necklace.

"You won't miss this little trinket!" Another chuckled. Soul's gaze narrowed on these troublemakers. The one that had knocked over his new friend was Foongus, and the one holding his necklace was Trubbish. Spirit got up, and then saw what they had.

"Hey, that's mine! Give it back!" He snarled.

"Um, let me think.... no!" Trubbish said. Then he and his friend laughed. Then he let out a Poison Gas attack. While Soul and Spirit were in a coughing fit, Trubbish and Foongus bolted out of there. Their laughs faded into the distance.

"No.......! My......... treasure......!" Spirit said in bewteen coughs.

Okay. Nice! Oh noes! Not the noxious gaseous poison attack! I remember those guys. X3 Always the bad ones.

Say, think we should make an rp outta this?

Yeah, my own version of the bad guy team. X3

I have thought of that. I haven't exactly worked out all the information just yet, though. And right now, I'm on my laptop, which is slowly dying on me. I don't trust it enough to try to update chapters and stuff on it, and expect it not to quit on me before I get a chance to save. I might work on an rp version of this tomorrow.

Coolio! What shall the team name be? Team Malice?

Eh, just an idea. We don't have to put it into action right away.

I already had a name for the team. As you saw already, the members are Trubbish and Foongus. Their leader, who you will meet later, I'll go ahead and tell you that its Scolipede. Together, they are Team Toxic, 'cause they're all the poison element.

Well, I do like the idea. I just need to think more on what I actually plan to do with the plot. I do have ideas, though. I could tell you, if you want, but through PM, since I don't want to spoil anything.

Oohh! Niiice!

Okay, sure. I'll go ahead and PM you then.

Thanks. Also, the Scolipede is a shiney. And they have nicknames. The Scolipede is Venom, Foongus is Mushroom, and Trubbish is Stinky. xD Venom actually named himself that, whereas the other two are insulted so much by their leader, that they've come to believe that their names must be Mushroom and Stinky. xD

Alright. I might could use some help getting ideas together.

that's hilarious! No, Trubbish should be Garbage or Trash. X3

Alright!

Yeah, Trubbish and Foongus arn't very smart, so they think whatever insult they get must be their name. They're not even bothered by the insult, they just act like they're supposed to be called that.
Hehe, I might change Trubbish's name then. X3

Hehehe....

I do have all the guild members' roles figured out. I might give them nicknames. Not quite sure yet.
I even have town residents figured out, like replacements for Marril and Azuril.

Yaayz! Hmm...perhaps. I could come up with some stuff maybe....

Sure, that's fine. I'm working on information for the rp, like rules and character sheets.

Hmm....so what could be our next plan of action?

I'm thinking that for the first part, the Syndicate Ethereal should be the main focus right now, then they storm the base and beat them, and then that's when the REAL trouble starts.

Okay, sounds good to me.

Great.

I think I'll also add in Team Toxic, just for fun.

Whoop!

Yep. x3