darkSpyro

Chapter 1: Happily ever after?


Once in a land very far away there was a kindom called Phazanah. The princess of Phazanah was named Zya. She is seventeen soon to be weded because of her age. In Phazanah when a girl turned eighteen she must be weded but the girl shall not have a say in who she was to be married to. But in her case she was to be weded to whomever she pleased. In fact she didn't even have to be married if she liked. But she just didn't know if she wanted to be married. But a girl can only be married once and that time is when she turns eighteen. So she didn't know whom she wanted to be married to bu she knew she only had one chance. So there for she let her bestfriend decide. Her friends name was Zoya. But her say was Benjamin Zama. She did not know who he was though. "Zoya whom is this Benjamin Zama?" asked princess Zya looking concerned "Oh he's only the most tough, incredible and kind hearted knight in Phazanah!" awnsered Zoya "OK but tomarrow I shall meet my fine knight and we shall fall in love and live happily ever after!" Says's Zya "OK let's not get carried away here Zya you still have to meet him." say's Zoya.

Sorry about a couple typo's I made and by accident didn't add detale in one part.

Hmm...not bad for a start. Nice job! You don't have to put extra "'"s in front of words when they're speaking like "say's" should just be "says". Other than that, great start, though, for me personally, I think the chapters could be just a wee bit longer.

I'm sorry if I'm offending you at all. I'm not trying to be mean or anything.

No offence taken. I haven't seen you before on DS but I think i've seen your avatar before? Do you know DarkCyder10?

Oh and Dragon-Outcast this isn't my first story on DS I do have a Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction. It's called "The Darkest Night".