darkSpyro

This is my first fan fiction for Spyro. Help me with Constructive Criticism please.


“Where am I?” A groggy voice said as his face slowly rose from the cold floor. His eyes slowly focused to the area. He saw some dark lines that seem to be in a pattern. The captive looked a little more closely at the seemly harmless lines. He got up and slowly took a step and causing the floor to shake a little. It was a lot harder to see but the shaking woke him up a lot more. He looked harder and saw steel bars connected the floor. He did a complete three sixty to confirm his thoughts then shook his head.

“Its just a cage.” he said with a little disappointment. He then walk over the seemly bland trap to feel the bars for no reason whatsoever besides 'captive curiosity'. However instead of a regular cold metallic feel he got a energizing electric shock that went though every part of scaly body. However he could not let go because his nerves was at the merry of the blitzing pole. But what made it worse was the second feature of this deceiving cage,a knock back strong enough to match a supercharge flame

The cage itself was descent walking size for his size and durable so when he was knocked back to the other side they didn't so much as filch to the impact, Due to his years of adventuring however it only the shock itself was only one but combined with the cell mash made it two hits.

“AwWwWw darn.”

“Buzz! buzz buzzzz.” s A sudden voice came to his left side.

“Sparx ,sparx is that you?”

“Buzz.”

“Where are you?”

“Buzz buzz.” said the dragonfly,causing spyro to look up. At the left side of the window was his dragon fly companion/ life indicator he was also in a cage but the bars was more closer together.

'Sparx are you okay?”

“Buzz buzz buz buzz buzz buzz buz bbuzz.”

“Okay, okay I'm sorry for that.” Spyro said as he got as close he can get to is friend but the shock causes by the bars made it a little iffy. “I didn't mean for you to be at green but when you saw bars surrounding you what is the first to near first thing that come to mind?”

“Buzz buz.” said Sparx a little more calmly

“Hey! Spyro, Sparx Are you guys ok?”
“Hunter where are you?” spyro said as he looked around. Are you hurt? Did you see who did this to us, and and finally just how long were you awake?

“Ummm to your right but look down, no I'm okay, no and a few hours before you.”

“Then why didn't you say anything right after I was shocked?” Said the young dragon walking up to the the other side to see his second best friend.

“I couldn't here anything.”

“Why is that?”

“I was listening to my mp3 player and thinking of a proposal to say to Bianca while I was awake.” said Hunter as he was walking to his side of the cell touching two bars with each hand.

Wait, a proposal, at a time like this why? Spyro said shocked and looking at his friend with disbelief.

“Because she means more than thinking about my escape.”

“Awww that romance stuff again Hunter?” Spyro said a little irritated as he though back to the false end of their third journey. “ It's not going to do any good if you are dead or imprisoned forever in here you know.”

“I know..I was just waiting until you or some one like Agent 9 or Byrd saves us because I don't have my bow or arrows on me.”

“Did you can get try to pick the locks with your claws?”

“There's no lock.”

“Shoot”. Spyro said a little dishearten but was far from quitting

“I know little dude, How I'm going tell her her how much I love he--”

“Hunter not that.” The multbreather said already a little sick of the deceleration of love fest. He then lay down in the place he was standing. As he sat he then tried to think back to see how this happen in the first place. Frustrated he felt like he was getting nothing done by thinking and frankly nothing would come up for this predicament... well almost nothing but we'll leave his faun out of this for now.

He then look back to sparx to see if he had anything. Asking but not moving from his current he then said. “Got anything?”

“Buzz buzz.”

“Double darn.”

“Who ever this or they are going to get a Very special thanks for their hospitably.” Said the young beast getting more mad by the second.

“Wait, I got it...well I think.” said hunter getting up suddenly with a finger in the air and a light bulb next to it.

Hunter your sure?

“Year but I have to start from the beginning, is that okay?”

“Seeing where we are right now I don't have a problem.”

“Sparx what about you?” Sad the archer while looking up a little more to his place.

“Buzz”

“Ok.” He then completely turned around and start to tell both of then the start and reason of the quest. His memories started at his house...

okay that's chapter one, reviews are appreciated.

Nice, id like to hear the rest.

me 2!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, sorry for the late response.

What's a multibreather?

^Someone/something that can breathe more than one thing. Spyro can breathe more than just fire.

This is a pretty good story. It has realistic stuff in it, and that makes it interesting!

sorry for the wait.

Ch 2 Planed thoughts and alternate actions part one


As the next chapter began hunter began to tell the past event to his friends. “A few months prior I was back in Avalar asleep in my bed. Seven hours before this I was trying to the perfect engagement ring to go with the date with Bianca. You, Sparx and Elora came along to help so it would be faster and I really did not know what to pick out. We ended up in glimmer to get the gem,but had to go to Scorch to get it cut to proper size. Strangely enough we had to go to Zephyr to meld the ring to the jewel but that by itself is another tail for another time. So going to an early point I was asleep until...”

“Hunter!” Spyro said while knocking at the door with his tail.“Get up!”

The cat stirred a little before deciding to sit up and answer his friend, rubbing his the tiredness out of his eyelids with his hands. “S-Spyro what time is it?”

Spyro breathed out tiredly before looking at the old yet magically mint condition grandfather clock to his left, ticking in Perfect unison with time of its area.

This old relic or its proper name The Celestial Universal Chrono Clock which the elders and Bianca has shove down my throat repeatedly to get their point across and apparently to show “reverence and respect” to this non moving, inanimate, piece of crap. The young sorceress got it for hunter for their fifth anniversary. It normally would not concern me, they do stuff like this all the time. But where she got it from made me think otherwise. It was back at sorceress (old blue scaly fat one) lair hidden in a secret door in her room. Its under the bed but to use it you have to pull the leaver left of the bed ,behind one of her pin up picture of herself. The picture it self was all kinds of nasty. Crusty blue scaly boils that was just waiting for one to erupt so they could have a chain reaction. The 4XL one piece bikini that was being held by threads,showing us holes to a “treasure” we never want to see opened was shielding our eyes from the “ True worse case scenario.” the poor thing was screaming to be burned. Gods,we burned two-hundred more of those “gifts to the mortals”all through the night and me and hunter still have nightmares. Bianca on the other hand wasn't even phased by this. Crap, she even said “It's just a picture, worst things exist.” While picking up the thing, chuckling at our distress a little. That by itself says some things.

But the reason it bother me so much was that it was so well protected with with the room material being made of diamond and the room having death rays, lava, acid, robot guards, electrical fence, spell randomizes and so on and so on. It took us hours to get past the acid, lava and disarm most of the traps. But the guards themselves ran on their own terminal system. We tried fighting them but your not going to get far against magic-proof metal with dragon's breath, arrows or Russian roulette spells. Hunter and Bianca ended up lifting up and running to the nearest door while I held them off. When they were sixty steps ahead I made my escape with sparx in green. When I ran off with sparx however the guards just stopped, they would not exit the room. That only deepen my suspension about this waste of a tree. When I asked Bianca about this a few days later she said that she just knew about the clock ,the room itself,how to get there ,traps and the pictures.

Anyway ,The Celestial clock was said to be made around two-thousand and five hundred years ago ,Meaning it was when the forgotten realms had a lot more magical energy circulating in its vanes. The creator the professor ancestor used extra orbs as batteries, talking fawn wood as its skin ,magical steel from the tundra region as its“bones”and finally a hourglass as its heart. This thing just has the ability to tell time accurately while keeping time zones and region difference in mind. It does it by simply putting the junk on the ground or area of the realm, country ,city, house and so on and so on.....that's it ,nothing more, just prefect time depending at the place you are. But there was a book that was supposedly made with, However it said that it was invulnerable to EVERYTHING. So that means all I can do is endure its torturous ticking of self satisfaction, A great reward for a hero even though its not mine.

there is more to this chapter and I will but the rest on as soon as I can.

wooh! epic!

thanks, Page 2

As soon as he got what he wanted from the clock he looked at with and said“Stupid clock.” with the same disgust that he reserve for his most hated foes. He didn't know why but every time he stare or even glance at the tool of time he had the feeling that it has it out for him. Like some of the sorceress ambition and rage was allowed to lingerer in its glaze and tics respectively. He didn't know many things about the Grandfather clock but one...he hated it with a passion.

“It's seven pm on the dot,wh--”

The second spyro turned to the door and tried to finish his response he found himself looking at his frantic friend running full speed to the bathroom down stairs.

… while being used as a purple speed bumb.

The two found themselves to be more tangled than two guys in a kingdom hearts yoai fic, But when they separated their body language spoke a cringe that says “ This was the bad morning of a night that NEVER happened!”

“So, this ahh...”

“Right, got ya.”

Hunter went down the remanding stairs to his right, through the living room and to the right to the bathroom next to the loveseat. Spyro on the other hand went down stairs to sit on the couch on the left. When he reached the long chair at first, his mind was more clear than crystal, but as time stacked itself on his reprieve he found his thoughts on the house itself ant the time they live in currently.

I can't believe its been years since anything time consuming evil happen, boy does peace has its downs. These days the definition of a boss is some one that can only get a hold of only one realm. They take only two to three hits. Example: Me and this giant gorilla Bob the ruler was “fighting” in a small silver slightly decayed circular arena, the outer area was a typical black abyss with its only method of killing in tacked , fall in it and die. The cave itself was a rocky dome, yet well cleaved to the smoothness of a fine crystal dome. The sealing had lights but some were in odd places like on stag-mights tips and install on the floor.

So anyway me and that moron was staring each other down as we constantly moved to our right within the area of the arena, the big oaf croaked out, “ So this is it, the great purple beast that dare to intrude in my hidden cave.”
“Yep, that's me.” I said, already wanting this day to be over with. “The big purple scaly hindrance that came to save the day. So, wanna do this the easy way or the hard way. Please say easy so I can just drag you off to jail and save my firebreath for a better opponent like candles because those little pricks don't like to--

“Enough!” Generic boss number forty five said, banging his wooden club on the floor then begins to stare at me with the same “How dare you insult me in my cave and this will be your last,” stare that I seen one to many times on guys that really can't back it up. In a sense wiping that smile off their face with my victorious smirk saying “ How does it feel to be of the receiving end of karma.”

The ape momentary drops his club and beats his chest probably hoping each chest pound will mend his wounded pride and to intimate me, pitiful. “I have taken six realms with in a fifty two hour period and lost only half of my men. So what do you half to say about that?”

I though a moment before responding to give a moment of satisfaction. “You suck.”

“ You little short arrogant lizard---”

“Hey that's stereotyping. I'm a dragon you know. I though we as people we were above that ? Well I guess some people can still prove me wrong.”

“THAT'S IT!! You die NOW!” Mr antagonist said, jumping up and down with brawling tantrum of a spoiled three year old. When I got a good look of his eyes, the rage induced blood-shot intensity ALMOST made me regret my actions, almost. He straightforward rushes me while holding on to his stick with a grip that could chock a giraffe. This actually would've been a problem because of the rush of the wind I felt when I rolled to the left because his speed and weight, deadly combo when both are high, but no he chose to screw himself over. I quickly charged to the the end of the area , expecting him to rush me again but instead he jumped raised his club at the peak of his height then rushed down, actually thinking he'll kill me with let alone touch me. So I open my wings and blew him away. He went face first hitting the sealing before falling into the abyss never to return, so anticlimactic.

As soon as I came out of that cave after torching the reaming enemies I saw hunter running at me for some reason. The look on his face seems to be quite happy for some reason.

“Spyro ,dude,bro you will never believe what happen.”

“What,” I said with quiroscy. “Is money bags giving money away to people and buying things for them?”

“Yes!!” said hunter as he lifted both of his hands and shakes them like a mad man.

“Your joking, right?”

“No dude, I am dead serious.”

thanks and finally page 3