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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Fandom > Non-Spyro > Seperation (my warriors book #1)
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Seperation (my warriors book #1) [CLOSED]
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#1 Posted: 03:30:07 05/06/2010 | Topic Creator
if you don't like something in my story, please say why, or else don't post it.
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chapter 1:
The rain pounded down onto the already wet moorland. Thunderclan skirted the edges of the lake, keeping within a few tail-lenghs of the shore, which had risen from all the rain. The clan stayed close together, trying to stay warm while running towards riverclan teritory. They soon made it and one by one, they jumped onto the fallen tree. Snowheart jumped on behind her sister, Rosetail. The already slick tree was even harder to stay on than normal, with the river water splashing onto the tree. She and her sister finally made it to the end and jumped off the log.
"Why did we have to come to the gathering?" Rosetail muttered to Snowheart. "Why is the gathering still being held today, anyways? Its way too rainy!"
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sorry, i have to stop there. smilie i'll add more tommarow, i promise.
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 03:08:03 07/06/2010 by Pinkdesi101
karen f Yellow Sparx Gems: 1578
#2 Posted: 04:22:01 05/06/2010
cool!
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~That akward moment when it seems like your post has made other people want to stop posting...~
NightBlade Platinum Sparx Gems: 6019
#3 Posted: 14:03:38 05/06/2010
cool, i like it.
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The Eater of Worlds has awoken!
"Muttering curse words under her breasts..." - Jamie
Galaxies and Stardust. More Art Than Stars.
Night Owl Yellow Sparx Gems: 1942
#4 Posted: 16:16:02 05/06/2010
Awsome! smilie
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Back from hibernation.
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#5 Posted: 19:52:36 05/06/2010 | Topic Creator
yay! lots of people already like it! smilie
and, here's some more of the story. i took a long time, and its STILL not done yet. >.>
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"Oh, come on. It could be worse. Besides, the moon isn't being covered by clouds, StarClan must want us to be here." A flame-colored tom jumped off the tree and next to the two sisters.
"Flamestorm, I really don't want to be here right now. I just have a bad feeling." Snowheart said, glancing around like she expected someone to jump out at her.
"Relax, it's just a gathering. Sometimes its embarrasing to have you as my sister."
"The feeling is mutual." Snowheart replied, then she and Rosetail walked off before they heard their brother's response.
"Snowheart, get over here!" She heard an annoyed voice say.
"See you later, Rosetail." Snowheart said, and then dashed over to her mentor. No, her really young cousin with a bad attitude.
"Well?" He asked.
"So now i can't walk over with my sister to the gathering?"
"You need to stay with the medicine cats."
Yeah, whatever. she thought.
"I'm serious, Snowheart."
"I hate it when you do that. Sheesh, I would have hated to be Leafpool when she was mentoring you." Snowheart said, rolling her eyes.
"Hi, Snowheart."
"Hey, Willowshine! How's the prey running in RiverClan?"
"Not too bad, but i wish this rain would go away already. How about ThunderClan?"
"Same, it would be better if the rain stopped, but we're still well-fed."
"Oh, ShadowClan is doing fine, thanks for asking." a voice said.
"Flametail, don't be a stupid furball. Can't Willowshine and I have one conversation in peace?" Snowheart said, hitting him gently with her claws sheathed. Before he could respond, a yowl came from the tree.
The gathering had started.
Firestar stood first. "Thunderclan has had four new warriors. Gingerwind, Sunfur, Iceflower, and Sageflight."
"Gingerwind! Iceflower! Sageflight! Sunfur!" Some cats chanted. Snowheart yelled Gingerwind's name. She was Snowherat's best friend. Then, everyone went quiet and Firestar continued.
"The prey is running well, even through the extra newleaf rain." He sat down, then Onestar stood up.
"The prey in WindClan is still plentiful." He started, but Snowheart could tell he was lying. Most WindClan cats were skinny with hunger. "We have a new apprentice, Rainpaw." He sat down, then Blackstar stood.
"The prey is scarse in ShadowClan."
Snowpaw shared surprise with all the other cats. Why would a clan leader admit weakness?
"We have found ThunderClan and RiverClan scents in our territory. We think this is why we don't have enough prey. They have been stealing it!" Yowls of protest came from the two clans.
"Blackstar, none of our warriors have crossed the border, let alone stolen prey." Firestar said.
"Nor have RiverClan." Leopardstar said.
"It could have just been wind." Firestar suggested.
"Coming from both borders? Verry unlikely. At least one clan has been stealing our prey, and we will find out which one it is. We will make more frequent patrols, and if we find any cat on our territory, we will make sure they won't come back!" He threatened. Just then, clouds covered the moon. The rain seemed to pour down harder.
"Just remember, Firestar, we won't take prey-stealing lightly" Snowheart heard Blackstar say.
The Clans walked towards the log, but just before they got there, Snowheart heard a yowl of surprise. She ran forward to see what it was about, then her paws splashed in water. there shouldn't be water this far from the shore she thought, then realized something. the log is submerged. We're trapped on the island.
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so, who liked this chapter? smilie
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
NightBlade Platinum Sparx Gems: 6019
#6 Posted: 21:33:33 05/06/2010
ME! i liked it.
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The Eater of Worlds has awoken!
"Muttering curse words under her breasts..." - Jamie
Galaxies and Stardust. More Art Than Stars.
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#7 Posted: 22:47:11 05/06/2010 | Topic Creator
yay! smilie
Error: Your post is too short. It must contain at least 5 characters.
Error: Your post is too short. It must contain at least 5 characters.
Error: Your post is too short. It must contain at least 5 characters.
Error: Your post is too short. It must contain at least 5 characters.
>.>
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
NightBlade Platinum Sparx Gems: 6019
#8 Posted: 23:26:54 05/06/2010
LOL! oh! inspiration for a story just struck, and it doesn't have a title yet! x hits button for dramatic music x

A story about a dragon ( gender is undecided ) who is the key, to the world's salvation or destruction. OH! Title : The key to everything. x plays music from within temptation x I think i can make this music work for this story... I wanna add spyro and cynder too. All this from sitting listening to music..
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The Eater of Worlds has awoken!
"Muttering curse words under her breasts..." - Jamie
Galaxies and Stardust. More Art Than Stars.
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#9 Posted: 23:40:37 05/06/2010 | Topic Creator
well, that was a little random...smilie
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
NightBlade Platinum Sparx Gems: 6019
#10 Posted: 23:48:22 05/06/2010
smilie

inspiration struck, so i typed so i wouldn't forget... awesome story please add more to this and any others I'm reading. x turns to book worm x you'll make it wormy thing...
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The Eater of Worlds has awoken!
"Muttering curse words under her breasts..." - Jamie
Galaxies and Stardust. More Art Than Stars.
karen f Yellow Sparx Gems: 1578
#11 Posted: 07:36:16 06/06/2010
nightpelt aproves of this story
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~That akward moment when it seems like your post has made other people want to stop posting...~
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#12 Posted: 21:00:29 06/06/2010 | Topic Creator
@night: lol
@Karen: yay! smilie
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
Fayveer09 Diamond Sparx Gems: 9223
#13 Posted: 21:02:20 06/06/2010
Good story so far, Desi. smilie

Quote: karen f
nightpelt aproves of this story



Sharkfang also approves of this story.
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 03:35:49 07/06/2010 by Fayveer09
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#14 Posted: 21:21:52 06/06/2010 | Topic Creator
yay! smilie *againsmilie*
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
Tahreh Yellow Sparx Gems: 1101
#15 Posted: 23:38:16 06/06/2010
Smokyfur is absolutly in love with this story! (If you are on the Warriors Official Forums, I am Smokyfur)
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#16 Posted: 01:48:29 07/06/2010 | Topic Creator
and, for a third time, yay! xD
oh, and, i don't want to make that my prologue. i'm making it my first chapter, here's the real prologue:
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Snowpaw opened her eyes and looked around. She knew within only a few seconds where she was. StarClan's hunting grounds.
"Hello?" She said, wondering where everyone was, but then she saw three pelts in a bush. One black, one golden, and one light grey. She padded over to them, then realized who they were. "What are you doing here?" She asked, and the cats turned around in surprise. the golden one put his tail over her mouth, signaling to keep quiet. Snowpaw nodded, and they all looked back. Snowpaw crept up next to them and looked out. She saw a blue cat talking to a tortoishell and a grey cat. The blue one turned her heads toward them.
"Come out, we know you're behind the bush." she said calmly. Snowpaw followed the others.
"Why are we here, Bluestar?" the golden cat asked.
"We wish to tell you something important."
"Why is my apprentice here?" The black cat asked.
"Because, Jayfeather, she will decide the fate of many cats."
Fear went through Snowpaw. She wasn't that important, or was she?
"Well then, what do you want to tell us?" The golden cat asked again.
The tortoishell cat stood in front of them.
"Destruction will strike at a time of peace. And the lake will be split in two." She said, then everything faded away.

Snowpaw's eyes fluttered open, and she stood up, her heart pounding. At the other side of the den, Jayfeather woke up, too.
"Snowpaw, follow me." he said, and they both padded out of the medecine den. They walked over to the warriors den, then went up to Lionblaze. "Meet us in the forest." He whispered. "And tell Doveflight." They walked out and went to the camp entrance.
"Hi, Jayfeather." Cloudtail said. "Where are you two going?"
"We're going to find some coltsfoot." Jayfeather said, and they walked out. Snowpaw knew they had more than enough coltsfoot. Then she realized something.
"So, should i asume that every time you three are out of the camp you're secretly talking about things?" She asked.
"That depends." He said, and they kept walking in silence, until he stopped her. "Behind this bush." He said, and in a few minutes, Lionblaze and Doveflight were with them.
"So, what do you think she meant?" Doveflight asked.
"Destruction will strike at a time of peace." Lionblaze repeated.
"The gathering." Snowpaw said quietly. It felt strange to be there with them, she felt different somehow, left out.
"That makes sense, but what about the second part?" Doveflight asked. "The lake will be split in two. What could that mean?"
"I don't know, but it dosn't sound too good." They were quiet for a while, but Snowpaw knew they were sharing the same thought. What Bluestar had said. She would decide the fate of many cats. It seemed impossible, she was just a medicine cat apprentice, what would she do that was so important? She shivered at the thought. Whatever was coming, it couldn't possibly be any good.
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so...did everyone like it? smilie
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...is this supposed to be my signature?
Tahreh Yellow Sparx Gems: 1101
#17 Posted: 03:04:30 07/06/2010
I like the new prologue, it seems more prologue-ish! Again, Smokyfur approves!
Pinkdesi101 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1276
#18 Posted: 03:07:45 07/06/2010 | Topic Creator
yay! *for the forth time...smilie)
i'm going to edit the first post to say chapter 1
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