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Star Sisters [CLOSED]
Cuzzberry Gold Sparx Gems: 2081
#1 Posted: 02:14:30 21/02/2010 | Topic Creator
This is a story I'm writing, tell me what you guys think of it.

Chapter 1

A cool breeze blew through the trees, whispering secrets of the unknown. Water lapped up on the beach, scattering seaweed and tiny shells. Small animals snooped around the camp grounds feeding off marshmallows from last night’s campfire. Swimsuits hung over wires, being bathed in sunlight instead of cloudy, grimy lake water.

Brandi silently watched as the sun fell behind the horizon. She pulled in her legs near her chest and inhaled that sweet smell of freedom. That smell of grass, different weeds and flowers, and the warm air. The sound of children squealing in delight and counselors sighing in frustration as a 7-year-old sticks a ladybug up his nose.

She memorized them.

Next, Brandi thought of the gritty sand beneath her hands. She sifted it through her slender fingers. Her pruned toes shivered as a ripple came in and soaked her feet for yet another time. The tang of the salt from the grilled cheese she had for dinner lingered in her mouth. How delicious summer tasted, and felt, and sounded.

It was perfect. How her mind was in peace for once, and how one scene can make it that way. Why can’t time freeze? She wondered. Keep it like this forever. Never go home, and have my mind remain in this pleasant condition? She answered herself. Because life isn’t that simple Brandi, a voice said. Life isn’t fair. Well, she had learned that a long time ago. A lesson she had learned the hard way, a very hard way.

Suddenly, Brandi heard footsteps behind her. She jerked her head around to see who it was. Never did she like it when someone disturbed her from the conferences in her head.

It was one of her semi-friends at camp, Myra. Myra was much like Brandi, low-key and reserved. The only reason they had actually gotten to know each other was because they were chosen to be kayaking partners together.


As usual, for most of the activities done at camp, Brandi was never chosen by anyone for partners. One, because everyone else brought a friend with them to Camp ???. Two, she was just down-right mean looking. With her bedraggled blonde hair that had red streaks and her dark clothes. Dark blues, purples, greens, nothing like the usual girls wore. Brandi wore make-up too, not you’re average pink lip-gloss, but orange. She liked orange, it was a color that was bright with personality, something she didn’t have. But, she enjoyed wearing it, making it look like she had more spunk than she really did.

Brandi hung out near the end of the dock alone, while the other kids babbled on in excitement about how much fun it would be kayaking together. She carefully examined her orange nails she had just painted the night before. A counselor had approached, but she didn’t even look his way.

“Well, Brandi it looks like the only person left to pair up with is Myra.” he escorted Myra over to her.

The girl had brown hair with a tint of red in it. Her eyes were a hazel color that looked gold in direct sunlight. Although, it was hard to notice her eyes because of her black framed glasses that covered them up. She wore a full length swimsuit, surprisingly. Usually girls at this age would wear bikinis to make them look skinny. This made Brandi’s first impression of Myra a little better.

“I’m sure you two will get along.” the counselor smiled a fake smile, then walked away to help out a group of girls get in their kayaks.

Dead silence.

“Hi,” said Myra.

“Hi,” Brandi replied.

Brandi noticed Myra staring at all the orange she had on. Orange lip gloss, nail polish, and eye shadow. Great, thought Brandi, another goody-goody. She crossed her arms, waiting for some kind of insult.

“I like your makeup.” Myra said sheepishly.

This caught Brandi off-guard. She had already planned everything she was going to say to Myra. Now, her mind was blank.

“Ummm… thanks. You’re hair is pretty.” Brandi complimented.

“Thanks.”

Dead silence again.

Then, Brandi gestured Myra to get in the kayak. Myra cautiously stepped in.

Riding in the kayak with Myra was not as bad as Brandi had expected. In the beginning, it had been quiet. Their rowing was not in sync and they would occasionally have to count 1-2-3 out loud. But, eventually they got the rhythm and paddled in a straight line instead of circles.

Myra was the first to really start to get a conversation going. Nothing big, just easy questions that you would see on a sign-in sheet. Slowly, Brandi realized Myra coming out of her shell. She went on about her school and her awful social studies teacher, Mr. Smith. Then she started talking about Scooter, her cat. Dumb thing has gotten hit by a car at least eight times, which would explain why he’s missing one of his forelegs and has a wire in his tail and jaw. Brandi was happy Myra took on the social butterfly role, because that meant she got the easy job, listening and the occasional nod every few minutes to let Myra know she was still paying attention.

“So, what’s your family like?” asked Myra.

Brandi halted her rowing. “My family is great.”

“Well, yeah, but do you have brothers or sisters?” Myra kept on questioning.

“I have a sister, her name is Jess.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Myra moved on to a different topic. She could sense that she was intruding on something private. It was like trespassing on someone’s property.
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Wow... It's been awhile!smilie
Cuzzberry Gold Sparx Gems: 2081
#2 Posted: 02:14:50 21/02/2010 | Topic Creator
Sorry guys, I have to double post because I can't fit the whole chapter into one...


Since then, Brandi and Myra had been peanut butter and jelly, you never saw one without the other. They did all the activities together, except horseback riding. Myra was from The Big Apple and wasn’t in contact with too many animals. In fact, the biggest animal she had seen until she came to camp was a pigeon. So, other than being with Myra, this was the only thing Brandi looked forward to every day. For some reason, she and the horses clicked.

Ash was Brandi’s horse. He was a beautiful gray and white speckled gelding. His mane would almost glow like silver and his eyes were a haunting black. Brandi had fallen in love with the horse the first time she saw him. Not only were his dazzling features charming, but his personality was even more stunning.

When she had been picking her horse the first day at camp, Brandi noticed that almost all the horses acted basically the same. There were two ways they would respond when she walked up to them. The horse would either put his ears back and snort, meaning he didn’t like her, or it would stick it’s tail between it’s legs and back away. But Ash was different. When Brandi stuck her hand into his stall, he approached her, carefully at first with his steps soft as feathers, but then he touched his muzzle to her palm and licked it. Ash’s warm, moist tongue tickled Brandi and she began to giggle. Immediately she knew she wanted to ride this horse, and she did.

It was thrilling getting to ride Ash. There was a wide pasture that the campers got to explore with their horses. Counselors had areas where they did certain things, such as brushing your horse, feeding it, and then there was the riding station. Brandi guided Ash over there and learned how to get him walking, trotting, and eventually running. How fun it was to bounce up and down on the saddle with Ash’s mane blowing in her face. Whenever Brandi had to leave the stables, she frowned and stroked her horse’s fur and said her good-byes. But, at least she would be able to see Myra again.


“Brandi, are you coming in? Wacko Wendy is flipping out and she was wondering where you were.” Myra said. Wacko Wendy was the nickname Myra had thought of for their crazy counselor. She was the one who came into their cabins at night and made sure they were ready for bed by 8:00. One time, a girl just started brushing her teeth when Wendy arrived and they got a thirty minute lecture on why dental hygiene is so important.

Brandi looked out over the lake one last time. Tonight would be the last night she and Myra would hang out. Tomorrow, Brandi was going back on the bus to Skaneateles, New York. It was pointless wishing for things that wouldn’t happen, time she wished she could get back and fantasizing over her most cherished memories. So, she stood up, brushed off her capris, and said, “Yeah, let’s go.”

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(Another thing, the reason I have ?s after the word Camp is because I can't decide on a camp name. If you can think of something, post it on my wall or just on this topic.)
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Wow... It's been awhile!smilie
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