darkSpyro

This is about Shadlin and her entire life. here goes:

Prologue:

The cheetahs found a smooth, dark blue rock lying near the hut.
"We must take it," one cheetah said. They tenderly picked it up and carried it back. It was in the valley of Avalar, in the cheetah tribe's territory. Nobody knew where the rock came from, but they kept it. After a while, they went to visit the hermit.
"Ah, this rock brings good fortune. It may not be a rock for long. You must raise and hatch it, for it's life depends on you," he said, examining. All the cheetahs looked puzzled, and went back through the waterfall.
"May I get a grublin?" asked a young, athletic cheetah named Hunter.
"Of course," said another. So Hunter went to get a grublin and brought it back to the fire in their hut.
Eating the grublin, they talked about the rock. The reason it was grublin was because of the beautiful, crystal white snow, so the lake had frozen over. The valley of Avalar was a beautiful place, with waterfalls, caves and rivers here and there. There was no better place to be. All of a sudden, the rock seemed to crack. A new form of life was joining them.

before people strart at it being iun the wrong section. Cool story, its open and could give you an ere of mystery if ypou play your cards right!

Thanks. Why would they say it's in the wrong section?

Oh dammit, Sorry my bad! I thought I was in idle chatter at the mo! oops

Good start
Please continue

Ok.

Chapter 1: Addition

4 days on, the rock was still breaking. Cracks appeared in the smooth, blue coating and out came a small lizard-type creature with wings. It was a dragon.
"We shall call her Shadlin," announced Hunter. They all agreed and whispered the name in her ear. The young dragon was deep blue with purple swirls and wing webbings. Her crest was also purple and she had a few white horns that matched the snow outside. She shivered a bit and then breathed out a burst of water.
"We can drink something now that isn't freezing! Thanks!" Said another cheetah. Shadlin was cute and chubby, noone could resist snuggling her up to them. After a while, she made it dark by breathing shadow. Shadlin was beautiful, and nobody could replace her.

Chapter to be continued.

Good chapter

Thanks
______________________

All the cheetahs were extremely thirsty, and then they had a great idea.
"We should deliver water to every single animal in the valley. Let's go," Hunter said. So Shadlin shot water into a few cups and then the cheetahs sent them round starting with the village, then the hermit, then the rest. It was a fabulous idea, and all because of Shadlin.

Good part

Thanks

Shadlin was a great help to the village, and therefore nobody wanted to be without her. She could protect and provide water, something unaccessable in the snow.

End of chapter 1.

I think you should write all of the chapter before posting, don't post the chapter in parts. It's just a suggestion
Good chapter

i like the story! keep writting!

Thanks.

Chapter 2:

Shadlin had grown slightly by now and could roam further. She joined in with the events that the cheetahs prepared and acted like she was one of them until the day came. 3 years had passed and dragons were attacking the cheetahs, but Shadlin was more powerful. She turned into her dark form and shot out bursts of convexity to stop them. All the dragons decided to fly away but nothing could be done, apart from move. Shadlin didn't want to move, she liked the valley of Avalar. It was almost time for her to find a home, but the cheetahs were her family and noone could replace them.

me:i like it! more!
u:in a minute
me: *turns dark* GRR! I SAID I WANT MORE!
u: ok!
me: *turns normal* yay. *sits and waits*

I think parts of the plot are becoming a bit loose if I'm honest.
How did Shadlin aquire her dark form?
Why are dragons attacking their village?
But otherwise, good chapter

Oh yes:

Shadlin got her dark form because she wanted to save her village but wasn't powerful enough so all of a sudden it worked (and because her real dad was dark).

The dragons are trying to lure Shadlin back to them. I'll do the next in a sec.

ah, right

Chapter 3: Did that just happen?

"W-w-what happened there?" Shadlin stammered, immediately turning back to normal.
"We saw you change into your dark form. Those dragons only want you back in the dragon city, where you can grow up to be like them," one cheetah explained softly.
"But just because I'm growing up with you doesn't been I'm gonna be pouncing and bow and arrowing and all in a manner of cheetahing, does it?" she protested.
"I guess you're right. But we're gonna have to protect the village, or you have to explain to the dragons why you are living here. We are your family and nothing can stop it," the cheetah replied. Shadlin nodded her head solemnly.
"But why did I turn dark all of a sudden?" she asked.
"Questions, questions, so many questions! You only turned dark because one of your parents were dark. They pass it on, you know," he answered.
"Anyway, enough chit-chat, time you were off to bed! Good night!"
"Night."
Shadlin was sleeping soundly in one of the buildings, dreaming of the days to come with her family of cheetahs. Also, she dreamt about herself turning dark. She still couldn't work out why. Suddenly, it came to her. Just because she was inside an egg doesn't necessarily mean she didn't remember anything! Her dad had the element of shadow, which was dark, but Shadlin had that power, but her mum could transform into a dark dragon. That was the answer!
The next morning, Shadlin was eager to explain her dreams and thoughts, flashbacks and visions to the cheetahs.
"Listen up, I figured out about the dark form I have inside me. Just because I was inside an egg, doesn't mean I didn't remember anything. My dad was a shadow dragon, but my mum could turn into a much darker dragon and like you said, parents pass down their powers. That must have been the reason!" She exclaimed.
"Wanna go for a swim?" The cheetahs decided to watch her. Shadlin was relieved that the snow and ice had finally disappeared and that they could eat fish and cool down. The valley was back to normal once more.
________________

That's only half the chapter.

moar!

Ok. here's the last part, but it's short.

"It's wierd, turning dark. You never know what's going to happen," Shadlin randomly burst out.
"Correct," said a cheetah. Shadlin was bathing under the waterfall.
"You know, I think it's time we showed you the entire valley."

Awsome. :3

Why, thankyou.

No problem.

Chapter 4: Left to your own devices

"You are old enough now to explore without us. When you eventually find a home wherever it may be, we won't be there for you," Meadow said. Shadlin looked surprised.
"Will you be taking me or not?" she asked.
"We will briefly tell you all the parts, but then you shall explore without us. If you feel unsecure, we can come with you for a last time. If you feel a bit wierd, we shall watch you. If you're completely confident, you can explore alone."
"So first, there's the grounds of the village. Those places are good for starters. Then, you can explore the rivers. After that, it's best to find the caves. Maybe next, go through that huge cave through that waterfall. Then, you can find the rest."
Shadlin walked out and explored alone. It was different, but she soon got used to it and flew away.

A few hours later, she returned.
"I loved it!" she exclaimed.
"Good. Because there's something we need to tell you...." said Prowlus.
_______________________________

Who likes?

Good chapters

Chapter 5: The secret

"What may that be?" Shadlin asked.
"Well, you see, you told us you wanted to look for your parents and invite them to live here, didn't you?" Cheif Prowlus asked.
"Why yes, yes I did," Shadlin answered.
"Well, you see. The reason you landed here was because.... because.... they were killed when trying to get you to safety," he replied. Shadlin was shocked.
"No! No, it can't be!" she cried.
"And anyway, how do you know?"
"We heard screaming outside, and two dragons were flying away from grublins. They were killed but we had no idea that they were your parents."
"We thought you had been killed, too." Shadlin lay down on a rock and stared at her reflection in the river. Why did it have to be her? Why oh why oh why. Chief Prowlus walked quietely away and left Shadlin alone for a while. She was a kid now, after all. The only family she knew was the cheetahs, and they weren't even proper family. She had to get them to search out the rest of her family, but she wanted to stay in the exact place she was noe, the place she called home. Meadow was walking uo to her.
"I know how it feels," he said.
"Yeah, but I have an idea. We should search out the rest of my family if I have any left, and ask them if they want to live here with us. I shall never leave here, it's my home," she solemnly replied.
"Well, let us do it! Tomorrow morning after breakfast, we shall venture out to dragon village!" he said.
"Ok. Deal! Let's tell the rest of the tribe first," Shadlin said excitedely. So they told the rest of the trible and they were happy to help. Shadlin was ecstatic! Her real family! Oh, what a joy!
"If they accept the request, then Shadlin will have her own kind to live with. But if they say no, they either want to stay where they are alone or with Shadlin. She is not leaving us until she is old enough to find her own home," Hunter explained. The others agreed.
"So, tomorrow it is!"

gimeh moar

Good chapter

Thanks!

Chapter 6: Venturing out for family

Morning came quickly and Shadlin scrambled out of bed and clattered across the wooden floor, not caring if the cheetahs were asleep or not.
"Come on! Not only am I hungry, but we've got to find my family!" she ordered. So they had breakfast then went out of the valley. It was scary, Shadlin thought, being outside of the place you've lived in for years.
"There's the gate to the city," a greenish cheetah pointed to a huge gate. In they went, and it was full of dragons.
"The library, that's where we should go," Cheif Prowlus announced. They walked inside and a mole bustled up to them.
"How can we help?" he said.
"Do you do family history?" Shadlin asked.
"Ah yes! It's a brand new feature!" The mole replied. He lead them towards a machine. Shadlin followed the instructions and typed in her full name.
"Melissa?" She wondered.
"Melissa lives across the street. Visit her and do what you need to do," the mole said.
"Ok. Thanks!"

Good chapter

Chapter 7: Melissa

Shadlin went alone towards a small cave where it said Melissa lived.
"Hello?" Shadlin's voice echoed. Out came a beautiful orange dragon up to Shadlin and stared at her.
"And you are here because?" she said.
"I'm Shadlin. And you must be Melissa. I'm a member of your family, your cousin," Shadlin replied shyly. Melissa stared in shock. Then it came to her, she was.
"I was wondering if you wanted to live with me in the Valley of Avalar."
"Ok. But first, I need to see the family you currently live with," Melissa said in a suspicious voice. The two walked towards the cheetahs and Shadlin introduced them to Melissa.
"Well, hello. It's quite strange that a dragon would be living with cheetahs," she said in the same tone.
"Come inside, Shadlin, I have something I want to tell you." Melissa led Shadlin intto the house.
"There's something wierd about her..." Hunter said.

hmm, a bit too sudden. I think your jumping from one part to another to quickly. otherwise, good chapter

Yes. I had writers block D:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna edit it now, though.

i like it.

BTW, these are 2 made up cheetahs that live in the village:

Arana
Kayla

ok. i like them, although one is HUGE.
plz add another chapter soon!