| winged beast Ripto Gems: 14 |
#1 Posted: 13:16:21 06/09/2009 | Topic Creator
ok since this is my first story ill make the first chapter short.
chapter 1~the dream's As the moon lit water shimerd in the darkness spyro dared to give in to the night.Spyro try'd to fight off the evil in his dream "SPYRO HELP ME"cynder said"CYNDER IM COMMING DONT GIVE UP!!!!"spyro replyed"SPYRO,SPYRO,SPYRO!!!!!!"cynder said"IM HERE" but just when things were good malefor"aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"spyro awoke to a scream. TO BE CINTINUED.... so how do you like it so far.txt me to tell me if you dont or if you do k 
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Solister
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2478
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#2 Posted: 16:10:19 06/09/2009
Interesting
Please continue
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Heavy: MEDIC! Medic: NO! 
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| winged beast Ripto Gems: 14 |
#3 Posted: 19:32:55 06/09/2009 | Topic Creator
k i will
the rest of chapter 1 When spyro herd the scream he wonderd the sky serching for the source of the scream but he fell into the water with a big boom.Spyro was having another dream... "HA HA HA HA" malefor said "you are no match for me"SPY.... he awoke in the lake and almost out of air he almost got up to the serface when he ran out of air TO BE CINTINUED... dramaticall eay 
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Solister
Gold Sparx
Gems: 2478
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#4 Posted: 20:12:02 06/09/2009
Nice
I think you need to describe things before they happen. For instance, the water. Where was it and why was Spyro flying over the water also, instead of boom, you could have splash Otherwise, please continue
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Heavy: MEDIC! Medic: NO!
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