ok im not done but i am still working on it and here r the charcters
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he is brave and cunning he is teaming up with an unlikly ali in his most exiting adventor ever.
used too be the dark masters pawn of evil later in the series she turend out too be a rather small and gentall little dragoness.
he is the oldest out of the gaurdains a father like figure too spyro and he is brave he never lies and awsome.
too talkiti've and annoying i for one do not like him.
:cryil:always arugues with volteer has a big mouth he is the master of ice wich is hard for a dragon too master
:terradoor:looks at spyro as a worrior battle scared from fights
see ya later
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death horn Ripto Gems: 311 |
#1 Posted: 13:39:39 05/08/2009 | Topic Creator
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#2 Posted: 15:27:43 05/08/2009
o.o Respell gentle now, it looks very wrong.
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Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#3 Posted: 15:29:03 05/08/2009
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death horn Ripto Gems: 311 |
#4 Posted: 18:23:43 06/08/2009 | Topic Creator
ok done
cp 1 hatching and living in the year of the dragon the purple egg and black egg where born days passed finally the purpl egg came too a crack in the shell it cracked into pecies the mother named him spyro then the black egg hatched the father named her cynder.after the years of childhood spyro & cynder grew into young dragon's spyro and cynder had too lern how too live befor they had too go away and live on there own.once ther mother showed them the basics they had too try for themslef's spyro cought a rat and cynder cought a skunk i sprayed her she had too have a tomato juce bath.spyro said'man cynder you stink'cynder said'i know spyro when i get out im gonna kill you' and 2 hours later cynder was done and bit spyro on the tail. they went 2 bed and spyro had the weirdest dream' SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!CYNDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they fell too thier doom. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa SPYRO!!!!!! what us going on with you i donno cynder im desorented well yea you are good night cynder good night spyro. chapter 2 is out tomorrow |
Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#5 Posted: 18:30:22 06/08/2009
Though, the chapters are longer... with stretched words and capitalized letters. >_>
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Edited 1 time - Last edited at 18:31:01 06/08/2009 by Poppy
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death horn Ripto Gems: 311 |
#6 Posted: 18:38:54 06/08/2009 | Topic Creator
true but i had 2 hurry i was babysitting
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Cynder_543 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1277 |
#7 Posted: 02:31:50 08/08/2009
How can a nine year old babysit? O.O
Aren't you a bit too young to do that? |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 02:32:56 08/08/2009 by Cynder_543
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DARK CINDER Ripto Gems: 1062 |
#8 Posted: 08:33:17 08/08/2009
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dragonlover Yellow Sparx Gems: 1122 |
#9 Posted: 08:50:27 09/08/2009
its the best one you've written so far!!
just try and add in ' these signs when they're talking.
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Supernatural is the key to the world of hot guys...... |
Observer Ripto Gems: 2225 |
#10 Posted: 11:57:47 09/08/2009
Please fix your punctuation and sentence structure...
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DARK CINDER Ripto Gems: 1062 |
#11 Posted: 16:45:37 09/08/2009
please close the topic
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Cynder_543 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1277 |
#12 Posted: 07:57:13 11/08/2009
Hopefully this will help:
When someone speaks, you do it like this: "Hello" I said "Hello" that other person screeched. Not "Hello" I said "Hello" that other person screeched. That way it's not confusing and most people can tell who is talking. And make sure you put speech marks in like I did when someone is talking. Make the chapters longer. Most chapters are at list 30 lines long. Use capital letters and full stops at the start and end off your post. Oh, and please put more full stops in your story. It's easier for the reader if you do. And when you say 'i', make it a capital. And if you want to use words like don't and you're, make sure you put in the apostasy in the word. It's also important to use commas when a sentence seems like it needs a quick break in between. And use it when you want to make a list off things. |
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