Forum

Poll

13 Years of Skylanders, Have You Played Any?
View Results
darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Fandom > Fan Fiction > stand close too me now!!!
Forum List Topic List
Page 1 of 1
stand close too me now!!! [CLOSED]
death horn Ripto Gems: 311
#1 Posted: 13:52:50 04/08/2009 | Topic Creator
stand close too me chapters

cp1:awaken
cp2:moon light
cp3:evil awakens
cp4:fright or flight
cp5:stand close too me now!!!

cp1
Once the lime colored dragon sleeps his name is key lime he is an adult he has perents thire names are jagid and chester. His perents are about 2000 years old he is about 1000 years old.Once key lime went for a walk he herd a big bang at his house a rock slide came about he flew up too the bigest rock and froze it stoping the rock slide from smashing his home and killing his perents.He flew up too his perents and they said that there ok he went up too his house and it hadent been damaged either so he went up too the rocks and wonder'd what had made it he looked a long time until........
cp2
Moon light came moon light is a beuatfull dragoness key lime has had a crush on her for 666 years but she hasenet even noticed him he has loved her but she has not.Key lime dident care thou he just loved her and then Moon light nodiced him he was just standing there but what Key lime dident know was that Moon light loved him.She walked up two him and said i love you Key lime dident no what too say he was just suprised that she said that.Key lime said i love you too Moon light was wowed she dident no he liked her.

ill give u guyz the other ones later
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 17:52:23 04/08/2009 by death horn
Kyo Tanaka Yellow Sparx Gems: 1819
#2 Posted: 14:34:49 04/08/2009
tl;dr


Also, paragraph chapters is too short, It would be better if it had MORE paragraph.

EDIT: Spelling and grammar helps as well
---
BIRD BIRD BIRD
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 14:36:03 04/08/2009 by Kyo Tanaka
DragonLord Green Sparx Gems: 466
#3 Posted: 14:37:37 04/08/2009
I think this is supposed to in fandom.
---
"We hunt you down without mercy!Hunt you down all nightmare long!" - Metallica
Kyo Tanaka Yellow Sparx Gems: 1819
#4 Posted: 14:40:05 04/08/2009
We already been though with that on here
---
BIRD BIRD BIRD
bionicle2809 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8438
#5 Posted: 15:08:14 04/08/2009
The story goes by too quick and yet again, like your other story, it has no real plot...
death horn Ripto Gems: 311
#6 Posted: 17:47:04 04/08/2009 | Topic Creator
im not done
bionicle2809 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8438
#7 Posted: 18:10:42 04/08/2009
The beginning should attract the reader to continue... This doesn't want me to read anymore...
DARK CINDER Ripto Gems: 1062
#8 Posted: 18:21:18 04/08/2009
smilie seriosly JUST STOP!!!!!!! you cant tell a good story. its awfull its just stupid smilie
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 18:25:13 04/08/2009 by DARK CINDER
YukiAyumu Red Sparx Gems: 96
#9 Posted: 21:37:53 04/08/2009
C1: @_@ Why is my dragoness in your story.........

Diffrent dragoness.

C1: Well they both have the same name

Well apperently the first name is Moon and last name is Light since she adds a space between the words....

It whould be ok if you added details and more words. And make it more suspencfull, getting the girl the next chapter? Unrelistic.....
And how dose he stop the bolders?
---
I WUV THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HURD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ!!.....?????.....
death horn Ripto Gems: 311
#10 Posted: 22:28:41 04/08/2009 | Topic Creator
witch one
YukiAyumu Red Sparx Gems: 96
#11 Posted: 14:44:20 05/08/2009
C1: Moonlight :3
---
I WUV THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HURD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ!!.....?????.....
Page 1 of 1
Forum List Topic List

Please login or register a forum account to post a message.

Username Password Remember Me