Well hi there some of you may know about my dragoness Siyana. (She's a white dragoness with crystal blue eyes, blue wing membranes and blue crests.) I made a topic for people to help me design her and I announced that I would be making her story and putting it on here and I'm finally finished with the first chapter. xD And it's a long one. So here it is. Hopefully I won't exceed the limit.
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~Chapter one~
Noise, whispers, voices. She woke up startled, they were everywhere loud but muffled. They echoed off the walls of the confined space she called home. It frightened her, she had never heard these sounds before, she had never heard much of anything but bits and pieces of words and songs.
Light changed to darkness as her home was lifted up. Her head bumped into the walls from the sudden movement. Her eyes snapped open as she tried to figure out what was going on. She looked around wildly but couldn't see anything, something had blocked the light on the outside. She squinted her eyes confused on what outside was. She heard the shuffling again and the light returned bathing her home in a brilliant golden light. She took in her surroundings and was surprised at how close to the walls she was, she could barely move.
Voices again she tried to hear what they were saying.
“Ly..how..mu..longer?” A deep voice spoke. The voice surprised her she wanted to hear more. She grew irritated that she couldn't hear better and craned her neck to get her ear closer to the wall.
A high pitched laugh answered. “Oh, Dione can't you be more patient?” The voice was sweet and it brought back memories of words she had heard and things that had been sung to her. She was immediately comforted by it.
The deep voice chuckled as well. “Is it suppose to take this long?” It said, movement was heard and the comforting voice spoke again.
“It's our first egg, Dione. I know you're nervous and so am I but we have to wait, these things take time.” The movement continued and then there was silence.
She narrowed her eyes confused. What in the world was an 'egg'?
“What do you think it is Lyda?” the deep voice spoke softly. She had to put her head closer to the wall so she could hear.
“Well,” the sweet voice began, she paused before she continued. “It's a blue egg so maybe it will be an ice dragon or a water dragon.”
“And what about names?” The deep voice spoke sounding distracted.
“If..t's..a..male..” The voice faded in and out as it grew softer.
“And..it's...female?”
“If...a... fe..I..gue..Siyana.” The soft voice said and grew silent. She waited for them to say something else but it stayed silent. She finally pulled her head back away from the wall.
Siyana, that word sounded nice. With out knowing she laid her head back. There was a crack and she jerked her head up quickly. A bright white light filled her home, from the small hole that was caused by her horns.
"Dione, did you-?" the sweet voice started. Everything was so much louder now that the crack had been made. She heard it when someone stood up.
"I did but, I don't see a crack."
"Maybe, around back?" There was running to the side she was on. She jerked away, frightened and hit the other side of the wall causing another crack to form. There were chuckles.
"It's scared of us." She calmed down when she didn't hear any other sounds.
"Hello, little one will you come out for us?" She jumped surprised that the sweet voice was coming from right in front of her. The light that came from the crack was blacked out by something. Curiosity came over her and she tried to peer out the little crack.
The dirty cave floor stared back up at her, there seemed to be some kind of straw underneath her home. A shadow moved over head and she inched away from the crack.
"I don't think it heard you Lyda, maybe it's not ready to hatch." She heard the deep voice say behind her.
"Don't be silly if it wasn't ready to hatch it wouldn't have cracked it's shell." The sweet voice said closer to her. "Please come out we've being waiting for you and we would really like to see you."
She sat there quietly, not making a move, hoping they would go away. There was a sound that sounded like a sigh and then the sound of scales against the cave floor. Curiosity over took her again and she peeked out the crack once more. This time she saw dark blue paws. She craned her head upwards to see more about this creature. The crack stopped before she could see past it's chest.
She placed her small white paw on the crack and applied a small amount of pressure until she heard another crack. She heard an intake of breath and looked back out the crack, she could see the creatures’ face now. It had four horns, the two biggest ones where curved inward like rams horns. It was staring down at her with a look of shock mixed with wonder.
A pink face came into her view it had two horns which were crooked a little. This one had a smile on it's face.
"Come on out now." It said, she realized that this was the sweet voice that had sung to her and made her happy. She didn't know what out was or why these things wanted her to come out of her safe home. Even if it was getting to small for her liking. She put her paw back on the crack and pushed harder hoping she could bat the face away from her.
The voice may have comforted her but she didn't trust it. There was a louder cracking sound then before and a small chunk of her home fell away. The face outside lowered to peer in the hole. It's blue eye stared at her.
"I can't see you that well, why don't you come out so we can both see you." It said and lifted it's head up to where it's nose was seen.
The voice sounded friendly and loving, she slowly inched her own nose to the hole. She nudged the nose with her own and felt it jump slightly. It giggled and her nose moved slightly with the movement it caused.
"Dione, look." It said and lifted it's head away leaving her nose stuck out of the hole. She sniffed around confused about the smells that she was gathering. She put her paw to the wall again and pushed with all her might the walls around her cracked and she tumbled out, her home falling to pieces behind her.
She peered up at them and they stared down at her confused and amazed.
"It's a female! Welcome my little Siyana." The pink one said and bent down to nuzzle her. Siyana stood still and let it, she closed her eyes after awhile and nuzzled it back cooing a little.
"Lyda why is she white? What does that mean?" The blue one said. The one called Lyda stared down at her.
"I don't think anything like this has happened, what kind of dragon will she be?" Lyda and Dione looked down at Siyana, worry was written on their faces.
Siyana tilted her head to the side and cooed again.
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Now I have no idea when I'll finish the second chapter but I'll do questions and answers in between chapters to keep you all entertained, if anyone reads this. >.<
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#1 Posted: 08:07:26 22/07/2009 | Topic Creator
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Edited 7 times - Last edited at 06:08:05 01/08/2009 by Adria
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Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#2 Posted: 08:19:24 22/07/2009
Wowzers!
That was so cute! I like how Siyana had her little home in the egg. x3 |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#3 Posted: 08:22:04 22/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Thank you Poppy, I thought the little home would work well into this. xD
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Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#4 Posted: 08:23:56 22/07/2009
Welcomes~
I hope chapter 2 comes up once you get some ideas. *is eager* |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#5 Posted: 08:26:00 22/07/2009 | Topic Creator
I have one sentence written for it. xD
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Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#6 Posted: 08:30:45 22/07/2009
Well, it's a start. o.o
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#7 Posted: 08:32:50 22/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Yes a small start but still a start. X3
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Spyroboy Prismatic Sparx Gems: 12462 |
#8 Posted: 05:48:05 23/07/2009
Awesome ! 10/10
I can't wait for chapter 2 !!!!
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「恋愛なんてだっさー‼ヤングは迷わずテクノブレイク一択でしょ‼」 |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#9 Posted: 05:49:07 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Thanks Spyroboy. I'm gonna try and work on it tonight.
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dragonlover Yellow Sparx Gems: 1122 |
#10 Posted: 08:55:44 23/07/2009
write more!!!
that was great!!
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Supernatural is the key to the world of hot guys...... |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#11 Posted: 16:39:37 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Thank you dragonlover I'm trying my best to write more and get it up here soon. xD
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Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#12 Posted: 17:11:47 23/07/2009
1000 stars for that one! I like anything that says the details about the Hatchling. Please Continue!
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#13 Posted: 17:25:20 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Working on it now. It might turn out to be another long one. xD
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cornys Blue Sparx Gems: 665 |
#14 Posted: 18:29:44 23/07/2009
cool.... Be honest that isn't my style of writing so I can't help you like I normally would... well I did not ice this: "The voice may have confronted her but she didn't trust it."
Conforted you mean? lol... antonym typo.... lol... very unfourunate... lol... Nice job! Can you P.M. me when the next chapter comes out? I'm only on here when I post a chapter my self... then I look around.. lol... Thanks |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#15 Posted: 18:34:12 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
CRAP! I though I had that right. I just looked at the dictionary on my word and it's Comforted. I think we both had it wrong. xD
*goes to fix.* Sure I'll pm you. |
cornys Blue Sparx Gems: 665 |
#16 Posted: 18:38:40 23/07/2009
ok thanks.. lol..don't worry... I can't spell you'll notice if I talk long enough... lol... you were closer than me but you spelled something completely different...
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#17 Posted: 18:42:55 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
It happens. xD Thanks for the help on it though I really appreciate it when people give constructive criticism.
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cornys Blue Sparx Gems: 665 |
#18 Posted: 18:45:04 23/07/2009
yep no problem... I always do that... If your writing goes a little more towards my style then I'll probably help you a lot more.... not that your style is bad it's just that I don't know how to help or write it... lol... I like your stlye better than mine anyhow for anything but a fight... lol
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#19 Posted: 18:48:53 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
It's fine.
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spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#20 Posted: 19:53:25 23/07/2009
o: A book.
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#21 Posted: 19:55:44 23/07/2009 | Topic Creator
xD Nice spyro fan 8.
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Dark_Spyro999 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4713 |
#22 Posted: 01:35:28 24/07/2009
Yours is the most grown-up and officiall sounding story I have read. Honestly.
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I is ded |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#23 Posted: 01:36:48 24/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Thank you.
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spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#24 Posted: 02:21:07 24/07/2009
Our Sire must read this. Adria, fetch him.
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#25 Posted: 02:23:58 24/07/2009 | Topic Creator
I would but I don't know who our Sire is. xD
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spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#26 Posted: 02:26:34 24/07/2009
King Silver.
Ohhhh! |
Cynder5 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1315 |
#27 Posted: 21:45:30 24/07/2009
I love it! It is perfecto (I like that word xD)! I'll be reading the next chapter for sure!
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#28 Posted: 21:46:38 24/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Yesh and thank you.
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spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#29 Posted: 21:12:36 27/07/2009
D: I'm stuck on part 4 chapter 1, I'm fighting the bosh. D:
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#30 Posted: 04:55:47 31/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Here's Chapter 2 remember I'll answer questions if you ask them.
------------- ~Chapter 2~ Siyana watched as Lyda and Dione paced in front of her, she found it entertaining. She twitched her tail slightly and turned her head to look down at it. There was a small crescent shaped blade at the end of her tail. She stared down at it intrigued and moved it again. Siyana pounced at it. Her tail disappeared from under her paws and she looked around confused. It wagged back and forth behind her. She looked over her shoulder at it and spotted her small wings folded in on her back. She tried to stretch them out but they only moved a little. Siyana tried again and they unfurled behind her. There was the same blade on the tip of her wings. Her wings were small and she couldn't move them very well. The wing ridges were white with light blue wing membranes. She sniffed one of them cautiously. "What are we to do? Is this going to effect her in anyway? What element will she end up having?" Lyda said quickly. Dione had to struggle to hear what she was saying. "We should first of all calm down and think about this rationally. She looks healthy enough it doesn't matter about her color. She is fine just look at her." They looked over at Siyana who was happily chewing on her wing. "Siyana, stop that you’ll hurt yourself.” Lyda said. Siyana spat her wing out and looked at the ground sheepishly. Lyda sighed and looked up at Dione. "You're right we'll just ignore what the others say." She looked back at Siyana. "She's probably hungry, I'll go find something for her to eat." Lyda nuzzled Dione's check affectionately and turned to walk towards Siyana. "I'm going to leave and get us some food. I'll be right back little one." She nuzzled Siyana also. "Be nice for your father." She walked to the mouth of the cave. Her thin body disappeared outside and wing beats were heard. Siyana looked up at her father confused. Now what was she suppose to do? She looked around and spotted her home in pieces behind her. She looked at the light blue pieces on the ground, they were the same color as the inside of her wings. Sadness over took her and she felt a little home sick. Dione watched her carefully not sure what to do with a hatchling. Siyana turned away from the remains of her home and craned her neck to look up Dione. She tilted her head to the side and continued to stare up at him expectantly. "Well, um, Siyana what would you like to do until your mother comes back?" He asked. Siyana tilted her head to the other side wondering what he was talking about. "Oh that's right you can't talk yet." He mumbled to himself looking, at the ground. Siyana's tail wagged and she smiled. Dione looked down at the little hatchling she was happily staring up at him. There were light blue markings on her chest that ended in swirls. Dione opened his mouth but closed it again, he had no idea what to say. He tapped his long tail on the ground behind him trying to figure out what to do. Siyana's eyes drifted to the moving tail. She rose to her feet and slowly made her way over to it, stumbling every so often. Finally, she reached it and crouched down in front of it. This one wouldn't disappear. She dug her claws into the floor and leapt at Dione's tail. She landed on it and dug her claws and teeth into his flesh. Dione jumped, let out a loud scream, and lifted his tail up to see what had him. Siyana dangled from his tail, her teeth and front claws were dug in hanging on for dear life. Her back legs were kicking wildly trying to find ground to place them. Dione flinched and tried to pry her off with his paw. She dropped to the floor and began to sniffle. Dione quickly got up and began comforting her. "Don't be sad, it'll be alright it was just a small fall." He told her. Siyana stopped sniffling and looked up at him. "There see? All better nothing broken, bruised, or bleeding. We're both safe from your mother's wrath." He chuckled slightly and sat up. Siyana sat back up and went back to his tail. Dione watched her and lifted it above her head before she could get it. She looked above her and tried to stand on her back paws to reach it. Dione raised it higher out of her way. Siyana growled quietly and jumped up towards it, her claws snagging a spike and pulled it down. Dione flinched and pulled his tail out of her reach, happy that he had found something for them to do. ------------- Tell me if you see any mistakes or anything. This would have came out early today but there was a tornado watch around here. >.> Sorry for the wait. |
Edited 5 times - Last edited at 01:00:57 05/08/2009 by Adria
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dragonlover Yellow Sparx Gems: 1122 |
#31 Posted: 10:54:23 31/07/2009
u need to add 'and' after you say affectionally in a sentence.
tornado warning? MORE!!!
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Supernatural is the key to the world of hot guys...... |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#32 Posted: 16:28:15 31/07/2009 | Topic Creator
Fixed and thank you.
Yes tons of rains and winds. >.< Couldn't get on the computer at all until it ended. Wouldn't want to lose this story again. Thank god for Open Office recovery. xD I'll try. *rakes brain for ideas.* xD |
Cynder5 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1315 |
#33 Posted: 18:05:08 31/07/2009
I love it!!! It's so cute!!! Can't wait for chapter 3!!
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dragonlover Yellow Sparx Gems: 1122 |
#34 Posted: 07:30:44 01/08/2009
neither can I!!!!
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Supernatural is the key to the world of hot guys...... |
SequoiaDragon Emerald Sparx Gems: 3930 |
#35 Posted: 19:35:29 02/08/2009
Good story! I LOVE the beginning, and how you describe her being inside the egg.
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My book Harahpin is now on sale! |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#36 Posted: 20:02:15 02/08/2009 | Topic Creator
Well thank you Sequoia. ^^
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Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#37 Posted: 23:20:21 02/08/2009
PC!!!
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
dragonlover Yellow Sparx Gems: 1122 |
#38 Posted: 10:54:08 04/08/2009
more?
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Supernatural is the key to the world of hot guys...... |
Poppy Ripto Gems: 1021 |
#39 Posted: 13:25:09 04/08/2009
Second chapter is lovely!
It makes me want to redraw the design again in a digital manner and fail at it once more. *headdesk* |
YukiAyumu Red Sparx Gems: 96 |
#40 Posted: 14:46:40 05/08/2009
C1: like your avi Adria im waching that episode right now
Love the story, MORE!!!
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I WUV THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I HURD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ!!.....?????..... |
spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#41 Posted: 20:12:55 05/08/2009
Yay story. :D
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Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#42 Posted: 16:19:51 06/08/2009 | Topic Creator
Sorry guys, I haven't even started yet. D: *hides behind shield.* I'll try to write today.
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YukiAyumu Red Sparx Gems: 96 |
#43 Posted: 16:22:14 06/08/2009
Love your avies Sf8 and Adria I know them both
MORE!!!
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I WUV THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I HURD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ!!.....?????..... |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#44 Posted: 16:25:13 06/08/2009 | Topic Creator
Yesh. xD Starfire always has the funniest expressions.
*goes to get journal and pencil.* Trying to work on it, I think this might be a long one. |
YukiAyumu Red Sparx Gems: 96 |
#45 Posted: 16:36:41 06/08/2009
YESH!!!!
She looks facanated with poking, that or his arm
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I WUV THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I HURD YOU LIKE MUDKIPZ!!.....?????..... |
Fireball Emerald Sparx Gems: 3163 |
#46 Posted: 20:57:57 07/08/2009
Yes! I love long chapters except for when people do them each time when only one person replies. It's hard to catch up.....
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OblivionSkull21, up and coming indie developer |
spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#47 Posted: 17:33:26 08/08/2009
Quote: Adria
Agree. xD I liked Raven better, though. Back on topic... Chapter? C8 |
Adria Emerald Sparx Gems: 4196 |
#48 Posted: 17:44:37 08/08/2009 | Topic Creator
I have two sentences written, I haven't been feeling to well to write. :(
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spyro fan 8 Ripto Gems: 2948 |
#49 Posted: 17:51:40 08/08/2009
D: . .
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cornys Blue Sparx Gems: 665 |
#50 Posted: 02:27:34 13/08/2009
yeah.. looking forward to the next chapter....
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