Heres the Story, or history of Aoren (A charecter I modefied from a different story of mine to fit this site) He is a black dragon of the Obscurci Seelen, or the Darkened Souls.
He is neither evil or good, believes that 'Choosing a fate' is overrated; dislikes anyone trying to control him and has an unusual liking for war, though he hides this.
He is a dark black dragon with deep red wing membranes and grey eyes, has a large scar stretching from his neck down to his right hind leg.
Joined the Obscuri Seelen at the age of fourteen; when his father murdered his mother and sister, then commited suicide.
Element: Hatred, fear, Obediance and fire (first three are NOT elements, he just has an unexplained control over them)
Obscurci Seelen: a group of dragons whose order is neutral, but members can choose which side to fight on if war or conflict occur. Members train to fight and to be brilliant stratigists, masters of war. Leader: Jerict
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#1 Posted: 19:37:32 08/04/2009 | Topic Creator
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:43:45 08/04/2009 by Doinu
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silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#2 Posted: 19:49:50 08/04/2009
wow! this looks good, can't wait for it to start!
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#3 Posted: 19:52:10 08/04/2009 | Topic Creator
why thank you, im working on it now but it may be tomorrow before im finished
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#4 Posted: 20:21:13 08/04/2009
ok.
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#5 Posted: 20:41:46 08/04/2009 | Topic Creator
never mind, I was wrong, here it is, part 1 chapter 1 section 1 lol
Aoren flew over the town of Thorne, the home of the Obscurci Seelen. From his perspective he saw many things, things that would mystify anyone not in the order. His friend Cale preparing a letter, most likely to cause some strife in a distant town. He saw Jerict, posing as a citizen, talking with a noblewoman. Such things barely took his notice, because of the moon. He loved the moon at its fullest, as it was that night, it allowed him to clear his mind and stare endlessly at its beaten surface. “Aoren!” the call broke the silence of his contemplation “Aoren! Aoren I need to speak with you!” It was Awren, a fellow order member, gifted with the rare ability to control the wind itself. “Aoren! The wind carries distant voices and whispers them in my ear, I have heard tha-“ he stopped at a glance from Aoren. Angered by Awren’s rude interruption, Aoren waited nearly an hour before answering “Brother’s by the order we may be, and friends as well, but you know to never interrupt me.” He spoke softly, as if threatening him. But Awren seemed to take heart from being spoken too, and responded with his earlier urgency “But Aoren, this is quite urgent, War is coming! The wind whispers to me, so I listened! Brother, the temple dragons plan to attack the village of Ruenon, and then march upon the dark mountains! I just thought you might like to know, I have already told Jerict, it was him who sent me to fetch you!” Awren waited patiently for Aoren to speak, when he did not, he beckoned him to the Obscurci Seelen’s keep. They traveled in silence until they reached Jerict’s quarters, were Awren departed. “Aoren, you damn fool!” Jerict thundered when Aoren told him what had kept him “What if this concerned the order more then you know!?” he demanded staring directly at Aoren. “Master, I but thought my friend Aoren was on a personal mission, and this barely involves the order as a whole, so why must the urgency be required?” Aoren explained “If it did involve the order I would be far more stressed!” He finished. “Your ignorance and arrogance blind you Aoren! This involves the entire order, individually and as a whole!” Jerict continued, seemingly attempting to burn a hole in Aoren “Do you not see? Have you ignored your brothers? Most of the order will support the soldiers of the dark Mountains, if the Temple’s warriors discover this; they will march upon Thorne and the keep! We would be overrun by sheer numbers if nothing else! Which is why I’m assigning you an unusual quest, I want you to speak with the leader of the temple’s military force, but first you must find out who this man, if indeed it is a man, is.” Jerict seemed to wish this as final, but Aoren would not let it be so “That would take my liberty and choice of side!” he began to complain, but Jerict had already left the room. Aoren was unhappy about this, but knew it better to deal with his assignment than to deny Jerict’s wishes, doing so would challenge his power and Aoren would be put to death. “Aoren, me Cale and Shali are too accompany you on this mission.” Awren was back. “Who’s Shali?” He asked warily. Awren looked confused for a moment, then replied “You must not have met her yet, she’s a new member to the order, this will be her first mission. She’s quite popular; if you weren’t so anti-social you would probably have met her in the dining hall.” Aoren disliked his reasoning “And if I weren’t so social I probably wouldn’t be meeting her now.” He complained bitterly, then added “So what’s she like?” Awren laughed heartily before replying “Probably the nicest war-monger you’ll ever meet, she’s a bit blood thirsty, but good in a fight and kind to her allies.” This worried Aoren more than it soothed his anxiety. Soon enough they walked into a clearing were Cale and Shali were, Aoren instantly become more nervous than ever before, she was beautiful. She was a deep red with pale grey wings and green eyes, if love at first sight existed, Aoren thought he had just been hit by it. “So, shall we go?” Her voice was soft and musical but ruined by her next sentence “I want to get the ceremonies over with and rip open some necks.” Aoren shook his head, that was his attitude as well. He silently took flight, closely followed by his companions, he was off to the temple, hopefully to return. There you go, Ill post more later.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#6 Posted: 20:44:37 08/04/2009
cool!!!
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#7 Posted: 21:07:41 08/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Thanks, I'm working on more, your story is better though, I'm actually unimpressed with my own though, my fanfics never turn out as well as my stories with human characters...
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#8 Posted: 21:39:06 08/04/2009 | Topic Creator
well more
Aoren and Awren flew at full speed; they were going nearly twice as fast as Cale and Shali, who were more suited for walking then flying. “Aoren, were do you think Oen is? I say we kill him, but whatever Jerict says eh?” Awren spoke casually “Whose Oen?” Aoren replied “The leader of both the temples militia and warriors.” Awren laughed “I don’t see how you’re supposed to talk to a man if you don’t even know his name!” “Well fine then, I say we go to Ruenon, the attack must be underway by now, if it isn’t already finished.” He didn’t know how Awren knew more than him, but he didn’t care either. Later on he began to hear an odd voice, he tried to ignore it but after a while, he conceded and listened. “Fear fate as it controls you, the darkness may give way but without it there is no light. Welliel I will not fail you!” It took him a minute, but he realized that it was Awren who said this. They continued their flight to the woods of Ger and waited for the others. “Well you took long enough! And to think we let you take the food with you.” Aoren complained when they finally showed up, clawing his way through the bag of bread and meat they brought. That night, as they went to sleep, Aoren again noticed how beautiful Shali was and the image he fell asleep to was her face. “Aoren, wake up!” the voice was soft, barely more than a whisper “Arise before I make you!” He opened his eyes slowly at first, and then jumped up. Shali was above him. “Tomorrow you fly back with me, Cale will go ahead with Awren, Do not speak just Obey.” She left him then, in a stunned silence. He did not fall asleep again for some hours.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#9 Posted: 08:51:57 09/04/2009
WOW! can't wait for more.
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#10 Posted: 14:19:08 09/04/2009
Go on. It's rather different and I like different. I'm pretty much the oppoasite, I suck with human stories, I'm best with wolf and dragon stories. But I don't allow myself to get unimpressed with my stories because I normally write for the fun of it.
And one thing is, most of the memebers on this site have a certain taste and overlook stories like this. It's not that your not good, really you are awesome. Man I hate how fast I type...if you see typos, ignore them. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#11 Posted: 23:16:02 09/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Why thank you wild, and Silver dragon
“So…” Aoren couldn’t think of anything else to say so he just let his words hang in the air as they flew on. “So what?” Shali chimed in. “So… uh… well anyway, how did you come to the order?” He asked feebly, praying that she would not notice his awkwardness. She sighed deeply before answering “Well my father is Daethor, leader of the dark mountain’s ‘Defense force’, I grew tired of the mindless killing that enveloped my family, so I decided to dedicate my life to something bigger; Then Jerict came to me. He was on business involving Cale up ahead, apparently over some letters he wrote.” She paused as he sighed an affirmative, writing letters was always a gift of Cale’s, if not a curse. “Well he showed me the light in being neutral, I can’t help but being slightly darker than those around me, it’s in my blood, but I can forge a new path for my family’s line.” She grew silent, as if she had said to much, then repeated his question “So how did you come to the Obscurci Seelen?” “I…” he paused, reluctant to reveal his past “I was brought to the Obscurci Seelen by my friend Awren’s father, Fyl, after my father murdered the rest of my family, and killed himself.” After saying this, he flew ahead a bit, but Shali stayed behind, a look of horror crossing her face.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 3 times - Last edited at 03:14:21 10/04/2009 by Doinu
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#12 Posted: 01:53:34 10/04/2009 | Topic Creator
well heres my double post...
The night after was no different from the first, Shali woke him and compelled him to fly with him, albeit this time ahead of the others. As they took off, he noticed three things; first, how she seemed to follow him everywhere, second, That Cale and Awren noticed this, and third, that they showed nothing except silent approval. So with that they flew. Determined to impress Shali, whom he was quickly falling deeply in love with, Aoren attempted to fly faster than ever before. Shali barely kept up with him, and when she did, it was her realization that brought him dread “Aoren, I think we’re lost.” She was right; they were off by nearly a hundred miles, easily. They were above the western section of the forest of Ger when they were supposed to be nearing Gundan’s mountain in the north. “Uh… weren’t you navigating?” He asked, feeling foolish. “I suppose, but it’d help to have a map or chart, or even an idea of where Ruenon is!” She sounded distressed. “Easy now!” Aoren said, alarmed by her change in emotions “It’s getting dark, we’ll have to find a place to sleep here, I’m that either Awren or Cale are searching for us, or are waiting for us.” She stared at him long and hard “Fine. But if we find their mangled bones lying by some tree, then I’ll never forgive you.” Her tone was flat, and as she said it she floated down to the forest below. Although he knew it was an unusual thought, he couldn’t help but be happy to be stuck, alone in this forest with Shali. Alone, all alone, shamelessly and painlessly alone, but for her! he thought joyfully as he glided down to join her. End of chapter 1: The first leader Next chapter 2: The beginnings of madness
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#13 Posted: 03:33:23 10/04/2009 | Topic Creator
More, now you can get a glipse at Awren, BTW I change point of view between charecters every few chapters, to make things interesting.
Awren flew faster than Cale, in fact, none but Aoren could match his speed. For the sake of privacy only had he let him and Shali fly ahead, but not again, the sky was his domain. And I’ll be damned if I’m bested, even by a friend such as Aoren! he thought spitefully. Ah, what am I thinking? I’ve spent to long around the evil side of the order with Cale and Aoren! Or is it I’m jealous of him and Shali? Ah whatever, Oen is more important… He glided lightly on a rising thermal, staring at Gundan’s mountain, it was perhaps a half dozen miles away, and he looked forward to the meal he would enjoy with his companions on its slopes. “Aoren, I think... Mangled bones lying by… forgive you.” The voice was indistinguishable in the wind that brought it to him, but its intent was obvious, someone was looking for them. That someone was probably dangerous. They had to get out of the woods. Fast.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 4 times - Last edited at 03:37:15 10/04/2009 by Doinu
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silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#14 Posted: 09:14:48 10/04/2009
wow! 8D
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#15 Posted: 16:45:19 10/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ya, as you can see, Awren gets the wrong Idea (youll find out this happens often lol) anyway you get to meet Cale soon, he'll have his first dialogue of the series lol
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#16 Posted: 17:07:36 10/04/2009 | Topic Creator
well here you go
“Awren you god-damned demon! How many times did I tell you to wait up? And how many times did you ignore me? Probably more times than I asked!” Cale fumed at him “And now we can’t find Aoren or Shali! I swear, if their dead, I will personally chew your bones.” It was no idle threat. Awren waited… And waited… Then spoke. “I think we have to go on to Ruenon before we find them, I heard Aorens name in the wind, I told you this! But we have to get out of Ger! We can wait for them at Ruenon, I’m sure they’ll meet us there! But we can’t afford being found but whatever is looking for us, I understand your worry, he is your best friend as well as mine. But let us go, we have many miles to cover in the night.” He spoke quietly, but was quite urgent. He took flight without waiting for Cale’s reply, if there was one thing the order had taught him is to never get caught. Ever. “So do you really think we can find them? Really do… Yes, of course… But what if… stop worrying! We’ll overtake Awren and Cale tomorrow!” The voices just aided to his will to leave the forest. “Kathril Duen Forgithril.” Cale spoke lightly, barely enough to be heard. “Do you know what it means?” “No.” “Fear the fate that controls you.” “Sounds like something the temple acolytes would say.” “More like their warriors.” “Ah.” “Hey sky zealot! Your going too far east!” Cale shouted at him. He didn’t answer, he knew where he was going. To Ruenon I’m going, but I’m not foolish enough to go along the main path. If we enter that town, its from the temple’s side.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#17 Posted: 17:19:21 10/04/2009
Hmm...building up on greatness.
And your welcome. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#18 Posted: 23:38:13 10/04/2009 | Topic Creator
“You know it’s been three weeks since we left Gundan’s mountain and we still haven’t seen the slightest trace of Ruenon.” Cale noted, for the eighth time that day “You’d think that the smoking ruins would show us to it, but whatever. Maybe your precious winds blew them away.” Awren was quickly angered by this “And maybe your letters made the people there decide to give up without a fight.” It was a bad retort, and he knew it “Damn! I wish we brought more food! We only have enough for, what, tonight? We’ll have to stop by the Jermund trading outpost for more, any coin on you?” he asked knowing the answer, Aoren had their money on him, they were broke. “Nope, guess we’ll just have to steal some meat and bread. Think they’ll have any wine or mead? Water hasn’t quenched my thirst.” The rare drunk side of Cale was showing through. “No. Just flat out no. if you want to carry a few barrels of mead on your back, feel free, but I’m sticking with the essentials.” His tone was flat, he hated Cale drunk, all he did was sing. Sing’s like a crow too he realized the insult would only affect someone who spent as much time with birds as he did though, and refrained from speaking his mind. “Maybe going east was a bad Idea…” Awren said ruefully “Gah! You were right!” he landed with Cale’s smug face staring at him. “But, Do you think we’ll meet up with Aoren and Shali soon? If not it’s gonna be awkward meeting them at Ruenon.” He spoke truly, but Cale was already asleep. “Fine, be like that then…”
next, I'm gonna leave it up to you who gets point of view. Shali, Cale or Aoren? Or do I stay with Awren? Choice goes to whomever posts. Remember I still have a few parts of this chapter left (1 or 2) so you have till tomorrow basicaly.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 3 times - Last edited at 00:10:12 11/04/2009 by Doinu
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#19 Posted: 00:09:39 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
return to the end of last post.
“NO!” Awren jolted awake “No… No I didn’t mean to! I never meant to hurt anyone! Please help them, I’m begging you! Fyn! Fyn no! Stop Fyn let them go!” Cale was screaming, his eyes closed, writhing on the ground. “Fyn no! They don’t need to die! No you Bastard! NO!” He continued to continue on like this for nearly an hour, after which he calmed down to a fitful sleep, still twisting on the ground. Awren couldn’t sleep, not after what he just saw. What could make someone scream like that? Cale of all people? What did he go through to burn that kind of torturous pain into his memory? Was it even real? Am I asleep? Am I dead in some personal hell? Am I!? One more section to this chapter.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#20 Posted: 05:36:10 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ah...
“Sleep well last night?” Awren’s question was rhetorical; he knew that no-one slept well. “Fair enough.” Cale’s weariness showed in every syllable. As they took flight, Awren had a good feeling. They were going to make it to Ruenon, soon. Four hours later, he was proved right “Good to see our journey is coming to a close. Well, at least this journey, we’ll probably end up going to the Dark Mountains later.” He was relieved to see it, but worried about Aoren and, to a certain degree, Shali. “No smoke.” Cale commented. “No smoke.” Awren agreed. “Uh… now That was an unexpected result of the other night! More like a… Uh… Sorry…” The voices were back. “Grand…” Awren sighed. “What?” Cale’s question was so unexpected, Awren almost answered truthfully “Nothing.” Seriously? no-one willing to help? I need to be directed on who to follow. It will change the story, to a point anyway.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 05:40:00 11/04/2009 by Doinu
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silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#21 Posted: 11:16:12 11/04/2009
cool chapters. this is getting good!
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#22 Posted: 13:23:11 11/04/2009
Awesome
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#23 Posted: 19:05:30 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Thank you, now it gets wierd lol, just regret you didnt say who you wanted to follow, so I just reverted back to Aoren lol.
END OF CHAPTER 2: THE BEGINNINGS OF MADNESS START OF CHAPTER 3: DEATH AND LIFE Awren stared deeply at Shali; mostly her rounding belly. “That was unexpected…” He complained quietly “And now we’re heading into danger, lovely.” He wished dearly to keep her behind, especially if Oen found out who she was, but she would not have it. “I came knowing I would face danger, my stomach changes nothing!” She had said indignantly “If You feel like staying behind, be my guest, but I’m going to talk to, or kill, Oen.” He had stared at her for nearly ten minutes before answering “Well, I hope we do not have to kill him, that would turn the temple against the order faster than anything else. I do hope, however, that you do not hate me for this, I knew as much as you did that this might happen, it is both our faults. But rest assured, the child’s fate is yours alone, if you want me gone than I will leave.” He had been very afraid of her answer, although his fears had proved groundless. “No, it is your fault alone, you were too charming.” At this she had blushed and hidden her head behind her wing, but he had been overjoyed by the answer. And now I’m going to be a father, whether I like it or not. A thought sickened his mind But not my father, never my father. Ill make more later
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:05:57 11/04/2009 by Doinu
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silver dragon Yellow Sparx Gems: 1071 |
#24 Posted: 19:52:20 11/04/2009
cool! and If i'd known I would have picked to follow Aoren.
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Why live life following someone else's map? |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#25 Posted: 20:02:51 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ya he has more issues by the day lol
WARNING: Contains information about possible future fanfics! BTW, later I might make a fanfic bout the egg, but hey, you never know lol
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#26 Posted: 20:23:14 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ok here you go
“What should we name him? Or her?” Shali had asked this question, again and again. “Do we really have to go over this?” “Yes.” He knew he couldn’t win, he never did with her. “Fine, if it’s a she, how about we name her after you?” He barely suppressed a laugh at the face she made when he said this “Fine, fine. How about… hmm… uhh… well I don’t know, can’t we talk about this later?” She was obviously happy about winning the argument, whether it got her anywhere or not, and decided against prolonging it “Fine, hey, we need water, I’m parched. The Jermund trading outpost is up ahead, do you think we could buy some supplies?” “Yes.” “Think they’ll know where Ruenon is?” “Yes.” “Is that your only answer?” “Yes.” “I love you, you know.” “And I love you.” It took them another hour to get to the outpost, over which Shali took no small delight in repeatedly asking Aoren for name ideas. “THIEVES! STOP!” The voice came from below, from the outpost. “Better go see what the commotions about.” Aoren sighed. Laughing came from up ahead “Cale, I told you not to take any mead, I Knew that no good would come out of it!” It was Awren. “Well, I guess I was right Shali, we did meet up with them.” And the squad is back together
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#27 Posted: 22:10:20 11/04/2009
Grand story, grand story...nice idea for future fic.
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#28 Posted: 23:43:17 11/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Trust me, the fanfic will get better, these last two chapters are the worst that will be in it
“Meet Voleur, he was with us when we stole the ‘bare essentials’.” Cale began “Bare essentials my foot, you stole fourteen gallons of mead, and already drank seven of them!” Awren complained, it was the next morning and Voleur had returned. Shali immediately disliked him, mostly for asking ‘why are you so bloated?’ and then sinking into the habit of calling her ‘O huge one’. “You know, you two got way to soppy while we were away. Here I was thinking my best friend had a brain in him, just to have him show up with none!” Cale joked “Hell your just as bad Shali, all ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you too’. If we go to war what are you going to do, bore your enemies to death with talk about your love story-” “No, I’ll throw you at them, your ugly enough to scare them all away.” She retorted. “I like her.” Voleur laughed. “Get some sleep, everyone, Voleur, are you accompanying us to Ruenon?” Aoren asked “Nope, but by the looks of your girlfriend there, she’s not going anywhere either.” All the response he got was a growl, and everyone decided that it was time to sleep.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#29 Posted: 00:19:08 12/04/2009
Not bad for one of the 'worst' chapters.
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#30 Posted: 01:07:33 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ya well, thanks, but this ones a bit better
“Guys, guys wake up!” Awren sounded urgent, but after being with people other than Shali, Aorens old attitude had returned. “Go away, midget.” He demanded wearily “AOREN! RUENON IS BURNING!” this time the cry came from Shali. He jolted up “Ruenon!? The town is burning!?” he looked quickly around, Shali, Cale and Awren were all their, Voleur was missing. Is Shali less bloated? Wait! What am I thinking!? There’s no time for this! “Everyone calm down!” He infused his voice with every note of power belonging to him, and they all listened. “We need to go to the city.” As if this settled things, he took off, somewhat surprised that the others followed him. It took only ten minutes to reach the town, when they did, Aoren fell out of the sky in disbelief; not only was the town burning, but the corpses of its inhabitants “They will pay.” He stated briefly, not even sure who ‘they’ were “Whoever did this will pay, they will all pay!”
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#31 Posted: 02:05:10 12/04/2009
Good! I wanna know who did it....*shifty eyes* More!
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#32 Posted: 02:08:17 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
well your desire is sated, for now anyway.
It was Oen. Oen was who needed to die.”Shali, Cale, you know the plan?” he whispered. They were in Oen’s camp, ready to ‘talk’ and kill him. “Ya, we talk to him, Shali murders him, we base it off of an assassination from the dark mountains, alls good.” Cale recited “Oh and Awren swoops down from the sky and kills off any guards.” To be honest, I think we would have ended up killing him even if he didn’t do this Aoren thought dryly. “First guard.” “Where’s Awren?” Cale questioned. His answer came swiftly and unexpectedly, Awren didn’t kill him with his teeth or claws, instead he extracted the oxygen from the soldier’s lungs. He suffocated silently, without even enough air to carry the sound of his voice. The following three guards died in this manner, and then they were at Oen’s tent. “Shali, around back.” She obeyed his command, again he noticed she wasn’t bloated. Aoren and Cale walked in silently, they had to wait a while before Oen even noticed their presence. “Name, rank and reason for seeking my audience.” His voice was soft, but his tone was dry. “We’re emissaries from the Obscurci Seelen, we’re here to talk to you about you ongoing war.” He looked at them for a moment before answering “My nephew, and murderer of the temple’s lead guardian, Cale is hiding there. I must say I have no time for you, Tell your master that we will come for the boy, if he does not show himself, we will raze Thorne to the ground if we have too.” He was pompous, sure of his power, Aoren disliked it. “Well we fear for you, after all, four of your guards were already dead, like you shall soon be.” He was going too far, and he knew it. Without warning, without a signal, Shali ripped through the back of the tent and locked on to Oen’s neck. His eyes bulged with surprise for a few vital seconds as he thrashed, then went limp. Shali ripped his throat from his body before speaking “And now we flee.” They took flight, and as they met Awren in the air, a horn went off behind them “And the hunters become the hunted.” Long section...
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 02:14:59 12/04/2009 by Doinu
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Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#33 Posted: 02:12:56 12/04/2009
. Wow.
You could have made a new paragraph after Quote:
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#34 Posted: 02:14:28 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Yes I know, but I accidentaly pasted the older version, ill fix now.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#35 Posted: 02:16:07 12/04/2009
That's better.
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#36 Posted: 02:36:17 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
well heres more
The flight back to Thorne was quick with a good headwind, provided by Awren, and the journey back to Thorne took less than half the amount of time as on the original trip. “Jerict!” Aoren roared as he entered the study, his companions behind him “Jerict! Oen is dead! The threat from the Temple is diminished!” They were proud of their bloody achievement. “You killed him? Well done, that will slow them. Unfortunately, it will also make them attack us all the fiercer when they come.” Jerict murmured slowly, thinking deeply. “Ah but that’s the best part, none know it was the order! We had Shali post as a Dark mountain assassin and kill him while we ‘spoke’, none sall us enter or leave camp either!” Pride welled up in Aoren for their accomplishment. We have done what thousands before us have failed to do! “Sadly, we cannot risk it, I’m sorry to order this as it takes away more of your liberties. You can no longer join the forces of the temple, if you wish to continue in this war, you must either side with Daethor of the Dark Mountains or remain here.” The vote was unanimous, if Shali wasn’t slightly reluctant, they were going to the mountains next. “Remain here for the rest of the night, and tomorrow. You can leave then. Aoren, if you haven’t noticed already, the moon is full and the town is quite. If you catch my meaning, I’m sure the young lady would love to see why you obsess over the moon so much.” Both he and Shali blushed at this, but didn’t question how he knew of their partnership; Jerict always seemed to know everything. “Thank you sir.” Aoren mumbled, leading Shali out to the balconies of the keep.
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#37 Posted: 02:43:21 12/04/2009
Yes, Quote:
...more action! But really, it's an awesome story. People overlook great stories like this. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#38 Posted: 03:02:09 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Yes, but notice how in the two previous chapters they say something about Shali, its not too important... yet... HAHAHAHAHA
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#39 Posted: 03:10:51 12/04/2009
Yet? D:
Uh-oh! Idea got into head! |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#40 Posted: 03:12:49 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ideas are always good
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#41 Posted: 03:23:47 12/04/2009
Yes, I suppose lol
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#42 Posted: 03:39:13 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
more
“I wish life were this easy all the time.” Awren said lazily, basking on a rock next to Aoren, the sun shining on his forest green scales.. “And I wish that I didn’t have to stay out of the tavern on my day off.” Cale replied. “Ah, you idiot Cale, can’t you just be glad we have the day off, beer or no beer?” Shali complained “No, I don’t think I can, by the way, you don’t look like a balloon anymore, what happened?” He answered. At this she blushed a deep red, the patches nearly twice as dark as her surrounding scales. “Don’t tell me you’ve laid the egg?” He pushed. She took a moment to answer “Well… maybe…” Aoren jolted up, knocking Awren off the rock as he did. “You laid the egg? Where is it? Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, annoyed that she had left him in the dark I knew she looked less bloated! “Well, I left it with Voleur… You said its fate was my decision, and he was leaving the area because of the war, the child will be safest with him.” Aoren stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then, despite his loathing of it, relief. The child would not go to the Dark Mountains with them, and would be safe from the war. “Well, although I hate to admit it, you made a good choice…” “So you knock me off a rock when you approve of her decision, I’d hate to be around if you Disapproved of one of her choices…” Awren mumbled, climbing back onto the rock. “My friend, You would be back in Ruenon if I disapproved!” Aoren laughed. Despite his obvious discontent, Awren allowed himself a small smile “So tonight we confront Daethor!” He laughed “Shali, hope you’re ready to have a family reunion!” at these words, she gave him a look that would make Jerict afraid. “I just hope my father isn’t as bad as Oen, I might have to repeat myself.” She said after a moment, licking her claws. “And I hope we don’t end up as lost as we were last time…” Aoren complained dryly “If we do, by the time we show up the war will already be over!” Cale laughed for a good five minutes before responding “Wouldn’t that be nice, my friend, wouldn’t that be nice…” Shali stared at him “Hell no, what fun is there in that?” her indignant tone made them all laugh “I just hope There’s enough fighting from turning you on us!”
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 03:39:33 12/04/2009 by Doinu
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Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#43 Posted: 03:45:11 12/04/2009
Very Good!
Man, I have to go...almost midnight. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#44 Posted: 03:45:33 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
oh, its like 9 here lol, well bye then
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#45 Posted: 05:15:54 12/04/2009 | Topic Creator
hehehe they've arrived at their dooms, or their greatest glories?
END OF CHAPTER 4: DEATH AND LIFE START OF CHAPTER 5: DEMON’S EMBRACE “It’s just as tall as I remember it…” Exclamations over the Dark mountains highest peak, Kathril, echoed throughout her companions. “So… on the top is the capitol? This beast is nearly eight miles high!" Cale mumbled “Beast? Well, you just haven’t spent enough time with it, she’s the inspiration for the some of the land’s greatest poems and works of art!” “Oh it’s a she now.” Cale’s retort bit her pride; this mountain was, by birth, her greatest treasure. “Well, let’s go see the lord” She knew they commented on him this way to avoid angering her, but it still hurt her. The Lord of this state was her father Daethor. The scar’s he inflicted didn’t go away easily. “So a short flight will determine the rest of our destinies, to fly towards fate or to flee the face of death? Our deeds will be immortalized, whichever path we take.” Another spasm of Awren’s wordplay. “Don’t talk like that Awren, you’ll make us seem greater than we are!” Aoren complained “Enough, lets fly up.” They obeyed him without further question After all, he is the leader of our group Shali thought lightly. Aoren and Awren were further ahead, when they stopped suddenly “Shali, Is this… you!?” Awren called, although it took her another five minutes to get to their altitude to see what he was talking about. It was a sculpture, although the likes of which she had never seen before. It was of her, looking over her shoulder at the the viewer, blood dripping from her claws. High above her, a large black dragon eclipsed the sun, flying in a high ark; and in front of her was the temple, in ruins. It was titled ‘the mountain princess and her savior’, It was the most beautiful piece of art she had ever seen. “It is me, and if I’m not mistaken, Aoren too.”
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 06:18:43 13/04/2009 by Doinu
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#46 Posted: 06:17:28 13/04/2009 | Topic Creator
Ha, more
“This is the Capitol?” Awren’s disappointment angered Shali “Yes, the architecture here is more subdued than most of the other cities of the land, but rest assured, Duen is as grand as any other city.” A look of recognition flared across Aoren’s face, but it was gone so quickly, Shali doubted she even saw it. “Duen is greater you say?” I sure hope so; I’ve seen monasteries with more decoration than this!” Cale’s exaggeration was to be expected, he never did like anything subtle, he was too bold. “Well where’s the keep, or palace, or castle, or wherever the lord lives?” again, Cale’s ignorance astounded her. “The lord, as is custom in the mountains, lives in the poorest part of the city, in a manner house.” She let her tone embody her annoyance, and Aoren let out a amused sigh “What?” she demanded “Shali, out of the four of us, Cale is the only one not born in these mountains. He has not been raised around these customs, quite contrary; he seems to have grown to adulthood on the temple grounds. You cannot expect him to know anything about the culture and practices of the mountains.” His rebuke annoyed her, but her curiosity was aroused “You and Awren were born and raised here? Where?” She had a feeling she already knew. “Duen, Duen was where I met Awren and my father made my life the best that it could possibly be.”
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#47 Posted: 13:13:42 13/04/2009
Wow. Good, man, good!
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#48 Posted: 23:46:51 13/04/2009 | Topic Creator
more, i might be gone for a week or two, my CP is breaking
“Wouldn’t a better phrase be ‘my father ruined my life beyond repair, without reason’?” The question was parroted by both Awren and Cale. “Of course not!” Aoren sounded angry “Can you not see? If I lived a life without that specific… event, I would have never joined the Obscurci Seelen, become who I am today, or met Shali.” Speaking her name seemed to sober him “I cannot forgive him for what he did, but neither can I hate him mindlessly, for he has shaped my life for the better.” Shali stared at him for a long while before responding “I just wish I could say the same for my father, for I am about to face him.” The rest of the trip to the manner house was silent, and short. Soon the building she had become to dread appeared before her, the house of lord Daethor, ruler of the mountains and leader of the dark army; home. “You know, now that I think about it, you may make things complicated if we don’t tell him it was you who murdered Oen, Shali. But if we tell him, he may brag about you, and the temple’s armies would march on Thorne anyway.” Awren spoke his mind a little too often. “Dont worry, if he knows Oen’s dead anyway, he'll have already started bragging it was one of his assasins that did it, and he probably wouldent want his enemies thinking his daughter was so skilled, now would he?” She hated every word of what she said, but knew it was true. “Let’s go in.” The doors were unlocked, as was custom for a ruler, and the entrance hall was a dark room with tapestries depicting sorrow and pain coating the walls. This was unusual, for Daethor always liked to show off his grandest displays of fine silks and gold. The common room was much the same, and then they came to it; the study, were Daethor undoubtedly was. The doors opened silently on closed hinges, and the dragon that looked up was just as silent as a look of utter amazement crossed his worn features. He was a blood red, with royal blue eyes and wings. “Shali?” It took a moment for her to recognize her name “Oh father, yes it is me.”
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 02:30:33 29/04/2009 by Doinu
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Doinu Green Sparx Gems: 261 |
#49 Posted: 04:42:38 14/04/2009 | Topic Creator
FInally theres this, my writings will be sparse from here until about 2-3 weeks from now, but i will not stop entirely. heres this anyways.
“So you joined the Obscurci Seelen, Killed Oen, laid an egg and are preparing for war without my knowledge? Amazing! Simple amazing! My own daughter… Outshining me by a mile!” Daethor looked at her fondly after they recounted their adventures “Oh how you shall be remembered! Now boy.” His tone changed dramatically “You do realize that although my daughter may love you; you are being watched.” His tone was serious, but Aoren ignored it, politely replying “Of course, my lord, I would expect no less.” Shali was angered by her father’s instantaneous pushiness, and decided to take action against it. “Ah, common, don’t stalk Aoren! What good would that do? Also, I doubt even your most skilled spies could keep an eye on him for more than a day or two.” She said, sliding up to him and wrapping her left wing around him “Of course you couldn’t expect to control the situation?” Her tone was innocent, but she would not be denied. “Ah, the two demons of the dragon temple embrace!” Awren startled them all “Now that this is over with, lets get down to business; we're here to fight a war, now let’s talk strategy.” The next four or five hours were spent like this, talking over possibilities, information, troops and strategies. Finally, after they had finished talking about where to place a thousand troops to best stem the tide of enemies Cale complained to them all “Now that we’re done with that, let’s eat and sleep, the war is upon us; we need rest while we can get it.” "Of course, O scourge of the temple." END OF CHAPTER 5: DEMON’S EMBRACE START OF CHAPTER 6: THE LOOMING WAR
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O.o.O Im keeping all three eyes on you. |
Edited 3 times - Last edited at 02:26:36 29/04/2009 by Doinu
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Wild Platinum Sparx Gems: 5045 |
#50 Posted: 22:50:14 15/04/2009
Awesome!
And okay. |
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