hey guys i might not be around for a quite a while uhh let's just say i'm on trial in a couple of days(can't go into specific detail srry) and things are not looking good for me....
hey guys i might not be around for a quite a while uhh let's just say i'm on trial in a couple of days(can't go into specific detail srry) and things are not looking good for me....
damn. i hope everything goes your way and hope to see you back soon. take care x
hi guys i was going to do an awesome prank where i would pretend to go to prison for vehicular manslaughter and come back months later with a hardened persona and post a picture of myself wearing an eyepatch and a cowboy hat and smoking cigarettes and then i would reveal it was all a lie a la sp's death in 2014. but i love posting so much. i love making posts on websites. let the ultimate posting begin
I hope everyone here is doing well! Every once in a while I remember this place exists lol, but it’s on my mind more than ever right now cuz I’m experiencing extreme skylanders nostalgia. Is skylanders even old enough to be nostalgic? xP
--- ”I am not everything you thought that I would be
But every story I have told is part of me.”
I hope everyone here is doing well! Every once in a while I remember this place exists lol, but it’s on my mind more than ever right now cuz I’m experiencing extreme skylanders nostalgia. Is skylanders even old enough to be nostalgic? xP
I mean, the first Skylanders game is ten years old now, so I'd say so. lol
Welcome back, btw~!
That is true. Can’t believe I was 11 when the first game came out o.o
And thanks!
--- ”I am not everything you thought that I would be
But every story I have told is part of me.”
I hope everyone here is doing well! Every once in a while I remember this place exists lol, but it’s on my mind more than ever right now cuz I’m experiencing extreme skylanders nostalgia. Is skylanders even old enough to be nostalgic? xP
Welcome back! Good to see you posting again! I hope you hang around. ^_^
---
"You already said that." - Veruca Salt, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
I hope everyone here is doing well! Every once in a while I remember this place exists lol, but it’s on my mind more than ever right now cuz I’m experiencing extreme skylanders nostalgia. Is skylanders even old enough to be nostalgic? xP
Yoooo! Also my brother gave me the reality check that Skylanders is a decade old the other day and never in my life have I felt so old.
It's better than it was! New doctor put me on better meds and hopefully they do their job. Waiting on some more lab tests to come back before she goes ahead and gives me the rest. They think they have an idea of what's wrong, but they gotta be sure because the meds they wanna put me on are a bit heavy.
Other than being a bit ill from what I have now (which should settle in a week or two; they're on the heavier side of the type they are as well), everything's starting to even out with that experience I had here awhile back! HRT is also going pretty well with the three months I've had so far, so I'm super grateful for that. My immune system is a little low functioning, so I thought it wouldn't really take as well as it has so far.
Thank you for the concern, I really appreciate it. ❤
Hey everyone, it's me, spyro fan 8/AestheticDragon/Gharlant/Eighwek.
I've been thinking a lot about the things that happened and all the trouble I've caused, not just here but everywhere online and in my personal life, and I've made peace with the fact that no matter how much I say I've changed and apologize, I can never go back and change the things I've done. It was selfish of me to expect things to go back to normal and I've actually been feeling a lot better since I learned to accept that things are done and not try to hold onto the past anymore. I've lost countless friends since my last episode and I'm actually still being punished for something I did last June. I thought I could just ignore it and it would go away but I have to face the consequences that I've earned for myself and that's been the hardest part of all of this. I didn't want to admit I have a problem but I do. I know I attempted to manipulate many of you, even those who were my friends, and there's simply no excuse for that. You guys are not therapists and you shouldn't have to deal with my emotional abuse.
I'm not here to try and rekindle any long-lost relationships I've destroyed. I'm not opposed to it but I've lost my right to try and fix things. I'm just moving on. I'm here because I still love Spyro and more importantly I love the people I've met that I somehow haven't pushed away yet. I want to stay here and talk to those people. I know many of those who I've hurt have left the website, so they don't have to deal with me anymore obviously, but for those of you who are still here I'm honestly very deeply sorry for what I've done. I messed up, but even more than that I purposely antagonized most of you and did what I could to make your time here as miserable as possible. Many people were able to move on from those times easily but others weren't and I ruined a lot of good memories for you. I'm sorry.
I don't want to keep dwelling on this, I will remember the past but I won't keep bringing it up. I just wanted to apologize for any excuses I've made in the past, yeah I was sick but I shouldn't have put that on you guys. I had access to mental health care and I chose to not use it, so my continued downward spiral was a result of my own actions. Even as I try to look at this as objectively as possible, I can't find anybody to blame except myself. And I should've admitted that a lot sooner. It really hurts knowing that I caused this, but at least I deserve that pain, unlike the many people who I hurt who did absolutely nothing wrong and were subjected to my frustrating cycle of toxic behavior.
I also wanted to mention what I've been up to in the time that I've been gone. I haven't done anything bad like before, but I've still been facing the consequences of things that happened as early as last June. Many of you know my wife and best friend had enough of me and left, but even those people who I maintained friendships with have slowly drifted away from me, even as I took the steps to get proper help for my behavior. They said even though I'm not doing anything wrong at the moment, their image of me has changed and they have no guarantee that I won't turn on them again. So they eventually just left.. it took me too long to realize that my actions from nearly a year ago have lasting consequences. I can no longer use the excuse "I've changed, I'm not like that anymore" because that doesn't change the fact that I did what I did and I have to take responsibility for it or else nothing will change.
In addition to that, I also had legal action threatened against me multiple times and that really scared me because I have people irl that are dependent on me at the moment and if I ruin my life they will be negatively affected too. My actions were selfish and although I could bear the punishment it wouldn't be fair for the people that still trust me to have to go through that. It also wouldn't make me any better than the people in my life who came before me who I said I'd never turn out like. I guess I'm more like them than I thought.
Anyway, I encourage anybody who has anything to say to me regarding this to please PM me. If you're someone I know I've hurt you don't have to worry about me reaching out to you, I understand that taking responsibility for my actions includes admitting it was my fault and moving on and getting the help I've always said I needed. I'll still be around but I'm going to continue getting help and part of that may include spending less time online, but maybe that's for the best. I still have problems but I'm acknowledging that and removing myself from situations that I might make worse. I'm optimistic about the progress I've made so far but I'm not naive enough to think I'm even remotely close to being done. Maybe it'll be a lifelong process, I'm not sure, but I do plan to stick with it and continue trying to cope with this problem of mine.
Hey everyone, it's me, spyro fan 8/AestheticDragon/Gharlant/Eighwek.
In addition to that, I also had legal action threatened against me multiple times and that really scared me because I have people irl that are dependent on me at the moment and if I ruin my life they will be negatively affected too. My actions were selfish and although I could bear the punishment it wouldn't be fair for the people that still trust me to have to go through that. It also wouldn't make me any better than the people in my life who came before me who I said I'd never turn out like. I guess I'm more like them than I thought.
I think you probably have bigger concerns than this community, then.
Hey everyone, it's me, spyro fan 8/AestheticDragon/Gharlant/Eighwek.
I've been thinking a lot about the things that happened and all the trouble I've caused, not just here but everywhere online and in my personal life, and I've made peace with the fact that no matter how much I say I've changed and apologize, I can never go back and change the things I've done. It was selfish of me to expect things to go back to normal and I've actually been feeling a lot better since I learned to accept that things are done and not try to hold onto the past anymore. I've lost countless friends since my last episode and I'm actually still being punished for something I did last June. I thought I could just ignore it and it would go away but I have to face the consequences that I've earned for myself and that's been the hardest part of all of this. I didn't want to admit I have a problem but I do. I know I attempted to manipulate many of you, even those who were my friends, and there's simply no excuse for that. You guys are not therapists and you shouldn't have to deal with my emotional abuse.
I'm not here to try and rekindle any long-lost relationships I've destroyed. I'm not opposed to it but I've lost my right to try and fix things. I'm just moving on. I'm here because I still love Spyro and more importantly I love the people I've met that I somehow haven't pushed away yet. I want to stay here and talk to those people. I know many of those who I've hurt have left the website, so they don't have to deal with me anymore obviously, but for those of you who are still here I'm honestly very deeply sorry for what I've done. I messed up, but even more than that I purposely antagonized most of you and did what I could to make your time here as miserable as possible. Many people were able to move on from those times easily but others weren't and I ruined a lot of good memories for you. I'm sorry.
I don't want to keep dwelling on this, I will remember the past but I won't keep bringing it up. I just wanted to apologize for any excuses I've made in the past, yeah I was sick but I shouldn't have put that on you guys. I had access to mental health care and I chose to not use it, so my continued downward spiral was a result of my own actions. Even as I try to look at this as objectively as possible, I can't find anybody to blame except myself. And I should've admitted that a lot sooner. It really hurts knowing that I caused this, but at least I deserve that pain, unlike the many people who I hurt who did absolutely nothing wrong and were subjected to my frustrating cycle of toxic behavior.
I also wanted to mention what I've been up to in the time that I've been gone. I haven't done anything bad like before, but I've still been facing the consequences of things that happened as early as last June. Many of you know my wife and best friend had enough of me and left, but even those people who I maintained friendships with have slowly drifted away from me, even as I took the steps to get proper help for my behavior. They said even though I'm not doing anything wrong at the moment, their image of me has changed and they have no guarantee that I won't turn on them again. So they eventually just left.. it took me too long to realize that my actions from nearly a year ago have lasting consequences. I can no longer use the excuse "I've changed, I'm not like that anymore" because that doesn't change the fact that I did what I did and I have to take responsibility for it or else nothing will change.
In addition to that, I also had legal action threatened against me multiple times and that really scared me because I have people irl that are dependent on me at the moment and if I ruin my life they will be negatively affected too. My actions were selfish and although I could bear the punishment it wouldn't be fair for the people that still trust me to have to go through that. It also wouldn't make me any better than the people in my life who came before me who I said I'd never turn out like. I guess I'm more like them than I thought.
Anyway, I encourage anybody who has anything to say to me regarding this to please PM me. If you're someone I know I've hurt you don't have to worry about me reaching out to you, I understand that taking responsibility for my actions includes admitting it was my fault and moving on and getting the help I've always said I needed. I'll still be around but I'm going to continue getting help and part of that may include spending less time online, but maybe that's for the best. I still have problems but I'm acknowledging that and removing myself from situations that I might make worse. I'm optimistic about the progress I've made so far but I'm not naive enough to think I'm even remotely close to being done. Maybe it'll be a lifelong process, I'm not sure, but I do plan to stick with it and continue trying to cope with this problem of mine.
get off the site, find a shrink, get some help. seriously bro
Thanks for the advice but I'm already doing that. I have friends I want to talk to on the website and the legal issue has been resolved and was a huge catalyst for me actually getting a doctor to help me. Trust me I feel horrible about myself and that's why I have been getting help.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 23:21:38 11/04/2021 by Strawberry15
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