darkSpyro

boredom

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so i have a cigarette problem

i have noted that as of recently i have been smoking 1-2 cigarettes every day for the last 2 months now which is a high for me as i smoked before like 1 a week or every other day when i had it bad i use my cigarettes as a way to cope with stress and most importantly my crippling anxiety that said i normally saved them for the really bad moments when i needed something just something to get by i dont have a reason why i would need them so much more frequently... i suppose i have lost the light in most of what i like and care about but if you call that depression then thats not a trigger for me to pull a cigarette its normally because of the aforementioned anxiety

so i have a long history with cigarettes sorry Danny if you didnt know parts!

so

in my childhood there was this person who smoked cigarettes almost everyone in my family smoked and smokes now still i think but this person is the one who i think got me on them

by the time i was like 7-8 they would take me with them to go to smoke a cigarette and i got pretty used to the smell they werent a comforting or comfortable person to be around at nope not even close but the smell somehow would be by the time i think i was 11 my brain somehow tells me no you had to have been 9 but something i am looking at right now implied i was 11 so i dont know

the same person also would blow the cigarette smoke from their mouth into my mouth as a joke tell me to open my mouth and then blow the smoke in

by the time i was no older than 11 i had my first experience with the taste of a cigarette this person would put the cigarette in my mouth but tell me not to inhale they would just hold it there now me being a kid of course i would inhale it anyway and i would get my taste of the cigarette

so before i was even 12 i had tasted nicotine and tobacco and liked it

by the time i was 12 they let me hold the cigarette myself in my mouth and i just... liked it i dont know maybe i thought it made me look cool

it should be noted that neither my mother or father knew about any of that

and my mother was gone before i picked it up consistently

father still dont know lol

when i was 16 is when i picked it up and didnt put it back down if i remember right lit one up and it was good

it helped my anxiety and i was feeling a lot i was now mom

i was a cook

i was having it tough at school

i had the wicked stepmother

me and my father fell out

i was lonely

the cigarette helped!

things progressed from there and the next cigarette...

i dont know i was had experienced some of the most stressful and anxiety built up points to this day and this one cigarette i put in my mouth was so good i then realized the connection between my anxiety and the cigarettes and i found out that i could relieve the anxiety if only for the few minutes i lit up the cigarette

after that i never really could stop

it became what it is now whenever the anxiety comes on a bit too much i smoke and it stops for that moment comes back but i feel like i had a temporary relief

and so that is the cigarette problem

well why is that a problem

the reason we all know it is

i will probably have some sort of cigarette related cancer by the time im 40 if i do not stop at the least doing what i am doing now

a lot of people really dont understand the challenge that it is to give up smoking or see people who smoke as nasty or bad people just because they themselves dont like cigarettes and that can really hurt

i smoke because it helps me cope

i understand fully that it hurts me but if you just took them away from me i would freak out

i would legitimately freak out

i would like to be able to stop but i dont think at the moment i am ready for that or at least i need to find some sort of replacement for the cigarette

SO!

feel free to comment on my pointless story about my cigarette history and problem

but

does anyone else here have any experience with cigarettes

be that you used to or do smoke cigarettes someone in your family did or does a friend a boyfriend or girlfriend and how did you feel about that or if you so want to tell me were there any methods or ways that helped those people in question to quit if they ever were able to

interested to know as none of the conventional methods do work on me

but yeah


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cigarette problem

what cigs do you smoke

at the moment they are marlboro 100s which are lights i use to do red box

....aaaand as if temptation got the better of me i find a box of reds in front of me oop

i come with an update on my cigarette problem..................................................................... so!!!! last night i broke a streak of only 1 cigarette in two weeks by deciding to chain smoke before i went to sleep i may have been a touch depressed last night which may or may not have influenced that this also resulted in today my throat just being completely messed up my voice is like bleh and on top of that now im just badly fighting off the crave to either smoke another cigarette now or wait until the end of the night to chain smoke another time although i do have to say its not really my vibe i use cigarettes to chill out my anxiety which i had a lot of yesterday but in smaller spread out moments is normally a better way to do it for me because it gives me something to look forward to calm down the anxiety but yeah streak is done we are back at day 1

Smdfh...

not trying to bump but i thought making a new topic for it would not make too much sense....................................................................................................................... i ahve done pretty good on the cigarette stuff these last two weeks i think in total i have only had 2 and the last week that has gone buy the only one i had was just last night because last night i failed to do what i needed to do and i just needed a little bit of anxiety relief at the end of it.... honest i dont think i have had LESS anxiety over the last month or so but ive been able to hold back from using a cigarette hit to chill it back down at least in every moment besides the two times obviously i just took one i do feel like i might need one tonight but if i can pull back or at least delay it like i want to be able to i will consider that to be good i know im definitely a little better then smoking 1 every afternoon or night then i was all summer at least still wouldnt mind a tip or trick though too HAHA

First time I smoked a cigarette must've been when I was about 15... Thankfully it wasn't until I was between 18 and 19 that it had been something of a habit for me, and still only quite briefly. Wasn't actually that hard for me to quit, since I could barely put up with the smell and aftertaste.
Nowadays my habit is vaping. It has none of the things that put me off cigarettes, while still giving me that nicotine rush that keeps me craving it. They might not be as harmful, and it's way more convenient in general, but still pretty costly for me. I end up bugging my sister to let me borrow her vape whenever I don't have one, and that makes me feel like a moocher. So I decided I'd rather save money and not be attached to stuff like this, so I'm attempting to wean myself off it lately. But otherwise, I'd recommend switching to it if you don't think you can go cold turkey on nicotine anytime soon.

Wish you luck with breaking the habit

smokin' with cigawettes

In all seriousness, that "person" didn't sound like a very good influence in your life at all; I hope you've severed contact.

Wishing you all the best on your journey to quit smoking for good! <3

Quote: Robo-Spyro

First time I smoked a cigarette must've been when I was about 15... Thankfully it wasn't until I was between 18 and 19 that it had been something of a habit for me, and still only quite briefly. Wasn't actually that hard for me to quit, since I could barely put up with the smell and aftertaste.
Nowadays my habit is vaping. It has none of the things that put me off cigarettes, while still giving me that nicotine rush that keeps me craving it. They might not be as harmful, and it's way more convenient in general, but still pretty costly for me. I end up bugging my sister to let me borrow her vape whenever I don't have one, and that makes me feel like a moocher. So I decided I'd rather save money and not be attached to stuff like this, so I'm attempting to wean myself off it lately. But otherwise, I'd recommend switching to it if you don't think you can go cold turkey on nicotine anytime soon.

Wish you luck with breaking the habit ^_^

ill probably be getting a vape soon but my one issue with a vape for nicotine is that it might actually put me in a worse spot because of the convenience i might make an excuse to vape more then i would normally light up might be worth a try though thank you for your post!

Quote: Beemo

smokin' with cigawettes

In all seriousness, that "person" didn't sound like a very good influence in your life at all; I hope you've severed contact.

Wishing you all the best on your journey to quit smoking for good! <3

and thank you i hope at some point i can kick it