darkSpyro

*Seriously, don't read this if you're scared of clowns.*

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"It is seemingly impossible to escape the lure of McDonald's. Much like Jason Voorhees, run as hard as you want, but everywhere you turn, there it is, staring at you with its golden arches. Resistance is futile."



"Ronald McDonald, the Hamburger-Happy Clown appeared faster than The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air could recast Aunt Viv. One second, Bozo was there, then Ronald burst upon the scene. Gullible children were none the wiser, and they continued to gobble burgers."



"PiE tO tHe FaCe FoR yOu, BoZo!!!"

"While credited by McDonald's as the first performer to portray Ronald McDonald, the fast food kings have been less than forthcoming with the role famous television weatherman Willard Scott had in creating Ronald. They never told you the truth, Ronald. He is your father."



"Everyone loves Grimace. He's Ronald's best friend, that jovial blob who popularized purple decades before Prince was singing about rain. However, it's been a deep-harbored secret that Grimace was not always as fun-loving — he used to be straight-up evil."



"Faster than you can say Freddy the Flute, a lawsuit was launched from the Land of the Lost, with all parties soon sitting before a magical jury that was to decree whether The Kroffts' copyrights had been infringed.

The jury agreed with the Kroffts, but only awarded $50,000 in damages. Both sides flew like Birdie the Early Bird to an appeals court — The Kroffts, to get more of that Fry Guy cash, while McDonald's, like Captain Crook, wanted to escape scot-free."



ABOOGABOOGA!!!

"McDonald's is extremely protective and litigious over their brand. Just open any business that features a "Mc" and watch McLawyers descend upon you for a McBeating.

It was McDavid vs. McGoliath, for the hearts and stomachs of fair Fairbury."



"HE'S A FAILED ACTOR!!!"



"For inexplicable reasons, a plethora of creepy clowns descended upon planet Earth, popping up in major metropolitan cities and quiet towns alike.

Eventually, the sightings diminished, yet Ronald remains relegated to the shadows, his commercial run apparently far behind him. Until the tides change, one envisions him quietly waiting for the day when he gets to hold court while championing Big Macs yet again. Until then, tears of a clown. An innocent clown. Or was he?"



Read the full article HEREEEE: https://www.grunge.com/42971/w...onald-mcdonald/

It is a serious issue...

Damn it, man, literally two seconds in and I had to pause and stop myself from hysterical laughter, oh my God. X'-D

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Damn it, man, literally two seconds in and I had to pause and stop myself from hysterical laughter, oh my God. X'-D

That video has some mysterious powers I tell you, you know?

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Damn it, man, literally two seconds in and I had to pause and stop myself from hysterical laughter, oh my God. X'-D

That video has some mysterious powers I tell you, you know?

It really, really does...

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Damn it, man, literally two seconds in and I had to pause and stop myself from hysterical laughter, oh my God. X'-D

That video has some mysterious powers I tell you, you know?

It really, really does...

Remember to use the video's powers for good deeds okay?

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Quote: Project_Unnamed

That video has some mysterious powers I tell you, you know?

It really, really does...

Remember to use the video's powers for good deeds okay?

That can be used for good deeds?!

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Quote: Erikatastrophe

It really, really does...

Remember to use the video's powers for good deeds okay?

That can be used for good deeds?!

Well if you want to disturb your acquaintances with this, I am not the one who is stopping you to do that.

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Quote: Erikatastrophe

Quote: Project_Unnamed

Remember to use the video's powers for good deeds okay?

That can be used for good deeds?!

Well if you want to disturb your acquaintances with this, I am not the one who is stopping you to do that.

Well... Fair enough... I guess it can always be used to scare away the bad guys. Necessary evil.

i liked your version of the article better tbh

Quote: DannySleepTalks

i liked your version of the article better tbh

Thank you. I actually put a lot of time into it (perhaps too much), so I appreciate it.