darkSpyro

Everything seemed to be going great, but then the girl I was with left in the middle of the movie, stating that she had to use the restroom. She then never came back, but texted me an excuse for leaving (said she had unexpectedly started on her period). Now it's been over 24 hours and she hasn't responded to any of my texts, so I guess she was actually just bailing on the date all along.


So why give me an excuse in the first place? Why give me the false hope so I spend hours waiting to find out what's up? I just don't get why girls often seem to do everything they can to keep me wondering for as long as possible. Makes this whole process so draining.


Blah.

That sucks dude :( I think it's a lot easier to avoid confrontation and leave you in the dark than explain what was up, but it's not fair to you. Better luck with the next lady

That's unfortunate, but as someone whose period is always unexpected, I would suggest you probably wait a little longer than 24 hours...

Don't write it off as an excuse. It's entirely possible that she was telling the truth.


And if she wasn't, just take the hint and move on. Live and learn, man.

Oof, that's pretty rough. I know exactly how you feel, too. Sometimes it's really hard to tell whether a person's lying or not about their true intentions.

Unfortunately, she most likely bailed. There could be many reasons why she did, but in my opinion it sounds like she's trying to spare your feelings. Just move on, and talk to her when she wants to talk to you. I know it's rough, and it's draining, but that's what dating is for. It's for finding that person you connect and work well with, and if someone drains you on the first date, then they're not for you.

Well uhm, sucks

I can't tell you anything, I'm not an animated rock

On second thought, the wording of your post implies that you're new to dating. This changes a few things; it's entirely possible that you may have said or done something inappropriate that put her off. I'm sure you didn't mean to. Let's go through this.

Quote: Muffin Man

Everything seemed to be going great

Are you sure about this? That's from your point of view, but what about hers? Retrace your steps and think about how she might've been internally reacting to you.

Quote: Muffin Man

She then never came back, but texted me an excuse for leaving (said she had unexpectedly started on her period).

Like I said, it's entirely possible that she was telling the truth. But if you're right and she wasn't, there's a reason she didn't want to tell you this in person, which strongly implies you made her uncomfortable somehow. It could be the case that she just didn't like you and wanted to spare your feelings, but still please do retrace your steps and consider your own actions.

Quote: Muffin Man

Now it's been over 24 hours and she hasn't responded to any of my texts

What do you mean here? Please tell me you haven't been blowing up this poor girl's phone. It makes you look desperate at best and insane or obsessive at worst. If that's the case, then I'm on her side. Please do elaborate on this. What exactly did you say? How many times did you text her? And why are you keeping track of the time?

Quote: Muffin Man

So why give me an excuse in the first place? Why give me the false hope so I spend hours waiting to find out what's up? I just don't get why girls often seem to do everything they can to keep me wondering for as long as possible. Makes this whole process so draining.

You're implying that this sort of thing has happened to you before. If so, I doubt it's a coincidence. Leave this girl alone, do some self-reflection and find out if you're doing anything wrong.


I'm not trying to judge you or anything, but it's clear that you're worried about this and I want you to consider every possibility of what might be going on.

Uhhh Move on?

Yeah sure

seriously metallo take a chill pill

I'm with Metallo on all those things though. I'd like to know the answers to all of those questions because yeah, Muffin Man could just be analyzing the situation wrong. And the way Muffin Man worded the post really does not sit well with me in a variety of ways.

I certainly know the feeling of having guys text me constantly when I can't respond right away. The wording "any of my texts" certainly does make it sound as if that's the case, but if it isn't, then I apologize.

And well, the period thing...


It could very well be that that's not the case with her, I don't know, but that's exactly it: you never really know what somebody else could be going through. It could very well be as Muffin Man is saying, but there's still that possibility that it isn't.

I didn't feel like Metallo's post came off as rude or judgemental, but maybe that's just because I felt the same way, but was afraid to speak up abut it for fear of coming off that way.

But yeah, I can see that happening. If you're in a situation where you so strongly believe something is happening, it can be hard to want to believe that it isn't, even if it would mean that things are actually going a lot better than you think. People just like to cling to certain beliefs, even without enough information to make an accurate judgement. I certainly do that at times and it's really not a good way to be because it will more than likely end up hurting you.

Either way, he's not telling us the whole story. If he wants serious advice, he needs to reflect on this more. We can't help him if we don't know the whole story. There has to be more to it than what he's telling us.

I don't think he's lying, I just don't think he's put as much thought into this as he should have.

I do very much agree that she could be telling the truth about unexpectedly starting her period, it happens and I absolutely would've bailed if the same thing had happened to me because it's an embarrassing thing to explain. If she needed to change clothes or something I can see why she wouldn't have come back to tell you and opted to text you instead.

But if she ends up not texting you back again then she ditched you and it was a serious dick move. It's not that hard to just be honest with someone, and there's a certain way that you handle things uncomfortable or not. Don't text her again because she's either busy or not worth your time. You seem like a very nice guy and you deserve better than to waste your time on someone like that. I know it's hurtful and embarrassing, but if this girl ends up not being the one for you then keep trying. Most girls and most people understand human decency, so don't let this one bad experience discourage you from dating.

every girl u will ever meet will be a *****. there is no such thing as nice girls lol i would know. personally, if i got my period i'd just tell them. i know not every girl is gonna be honest about it but (to me) getting your period is NOT a reason for suddenly leaving and then ignoring you for a day. sounds to me she probably wasn't having a good time.

To clarify, I'm not blowing up her inbox. I did send her several texts at first, attempting to reschedule since she had been the one to suggest the movie (Deadpool 2) and had seemed really excited to go. Keep in mind that I'm currently dating Korean women and in Korea it's considered good texting etiquette to send bunches of texts at once. Then the following day when I got the impression she maybe wasn't going to respond, I sent one last text explaining that I hoped to hear from her again but that it was okay if she wasn't interested, along with an appropriate Kakao Friend image (Kakao is the most popular texting app over here, and Kakao Friends are really popular with girls, the girl I was dating had spent like 15 minutes explaining the complex character history of the Kakao Friends to me, which I had thought was a good sign but who knows).

On further reflection, I think she probably really did leave because of her period but then decided to stop looking at my texts once she got home. Maybe I was boring to her, maybe she felt embarassed, I'll probably never know.

Thank you for that clarification. I hope you hear back from her.

Quote: Muffin Man

To clarify, I'm not blowing up her inbox. I did send her several texts at first, attempting to reschedule since she had been the one to suggest the movie (Deadpool 2) and had seemed really excited to go. Keep in mind that I'm currently dating Korean women and in Korea it's considered good texting etiquette to send bunches of texts at once. Then the following day when I got the impression she maybe wasn't going to respond, I sent one last text explaining that I hoped to hear from her again but that it was okay if she wasn't interested, along with an appropriate Kakao Friend image (Kakao is the most popular texting app over here, and Kakao Friends are really popular with girls, the girl I was dating had spent like 15 minutes explaining the complex character history of the Kakao Friends to me, which I had thought was a good sign but who knows).

On further reflection, I think she probably really did leave because of her period but then decided to stop looking at my texts once she got home. Maybe I was boring to her, maybe she felt embarassed, I'll probably never know.

Gotcha.

That does leave us in the dark. In any case, on to the next one.

Just had this random thought

What if she was cheating on you on your first date?

You know, goes home, with another partner


Very unlikly, but it is an interesting thought

Yeah she isn't texting back, so I'm not gonna bother her or anything.

Anyway today I decided to ask out a girl that I've been hanging out with for awhile as friends. She sort of dodged the question like I was making a joke, but has continued to act really friendly towards me and seems concerned about my well-being as I explore Korea, so I think maybe she took it as a compliment and thinks I'm just being a silly American. Idaknow, but the Muffin Man's down two for two in the dating scene this week.