darkSpyro

After it was invaded by an empire while you were on a trip with your bros?
I'm asking for a friend.

tell that friend this

by telling noctis to quit his *****ing on a train, after witnessing his loved ones death.

Find another kingdom to rule. His kingdom is a lost cause.

As a follower of the Amethyst Drake I'd naturally follow the gospel:

After what did seem like the sure defeat of the Horned Tyrant, the Amethyst Drake and His Herald did rest.
Lo, did the Winged Mage Zoe swoop into the lair of the Lime Beast and consult the Amethyst Drake as He did take his vacation.
"O great dragon, o harbinger of the Queen of Fawns, blessed are you both," spake the Faerie,
"The Empress of Three Lands would request your presence once more to bathe this land in flame,
And gore the unworthy upon brass horn!"
Both the Purple Dragon and the Harbinger did look to one another, and did nod in agreement.
"By my hand shall the Stunted Tyrant have his head taken, and by the fire of the Amethyst Drake shall he be burnt asunder!"
Bellow did the Herald with a voice that did carry the weight of Avalar's retribution.
And he did get some butter, for they were to make toast.

--The Bonne Books, Chapter 8, Overlook 4:12

This part of the scripture tells us that we should never let our guard down, and whenever we do we must be ready to face whatever threats have come of it. Your friend could benefit from this in the future, as failure is not an option. The next part will show you how.

The Battle did almost reach its twilight, as great balls of fire did grow in fury and awe.
The power of the daily orbs did infuse them, over the four and sixty days of battle.
"Fool wyrm! You cannot escape your doom! 'Tis the final day, and I am still undefeated! Surrender yourself to the Pool of Hottest Waters,
So that your end can be swift!" The Horned Wizard did yell, his rage being the only thing that did keep him from tiring.
"'Tis true that it is the final day, stout lizard! Soon the Purple Dragon and I shall cast you into this deepest pit of Hell,
and I shall send my sympathies at your funeral.... to your tailor.... on his evident blindness!" Quip did the Herald of the Amethyst Drake.
That which He called 'stoud lizard' did roar in anger, never had his finery been so insulted.
And 'lo, that moment did provide the opening to end the battle. The Dragon did hurl a bolt of purest flame to the Horned Tyrant,
And he did topple the orange toad, and it was enough to bring him from his Beast of Winged Chrome.
Without a rider the Beast did lose control, and did surrender itself into the fires below.


- The Bonne Books, Chapter 11, 21:12

Wile and guile is often considered a bad thing in our society, and though the Amethyst Drake and His Harbinger are honourable, they have to use any means necessary to reclaim their kingdom and return it to its rightful ruler. It's widely debated whether this passage was written to mean that we cannot escape fate and that Ripto was doomed to die (but he did not know it), or fate was changed by the Herald insulting Ripto and exploiting that gap in his armour, so to speak. The following passage is about recognising what went wrong, and doing what is necessary after dealing with it:

And the Stunted Tyrant did fall into the pool of lava, along with his Beast of Winged Chrome.
The Amethyst Drake and the Harbinger had battled for four and sixty days, each day did give them strength from the orbs to fight.
And so they did emerge victorious, greeted by the Empress of Avalar, and did bow their heads not in fatigue but in respect.
"Your deeds need not be spoken," speak did the Queen of Fawns, her voice did soothe the aching and the pains and the stress.
"For they shall be seen by all who enter my kingdom. They shall see not the flags of the Horned Tyrant.
They shall see the blue banner of the Avalari, and they shall weep, for they were not there to witness your glory."
The Queen of Fawns did turn to the Harbinger.
"You know that the Amethyst Drake must retire to the Dragon Shores after such a long battle,
But what of you? What must you do?"
The Harbinger did look into the eyes of his sworn ruler and commander, and did mutter,
"Stay, milady. For I had failed to defeat the Horned Tyrant once, I must ensure he does not return once more.
I did let down my guard, and I never shall it be done again.
With pad and potion, with throne and thunderbox, I shall defend this kingdom with my life."
And so in the ashen ruins of the Tundra of Biting Winter did the newly formed council of Avalar cheer once, then did twice, and then did thrice.

- The Bonne Books, Chapter 11, Arena 21:13

And you can also hear these passages and much more on my hit audiobook: Now That's What I Call Fanatacism 17!

Join your empires uprising, and hope the emporers a dick so he kills you, which causes an uprising against the emporer

Worked for me

Send a plumber to kill the turtle dragon thing

Haha video game jokes

Catch a dragon!

Just built a portal, put in the right coordinate and boom! One dragon is all that takes to torch Trash Jesus.

It worked wonders for Avalar.

four eyes more like no eyes

run for the hills like a coward?

build up your army and make them give it back.

Murder

Large amounts of painful assassinations of hostile invasion. So large in a spree that it freaks the new king out to hiding and form a cult of ol kingdom dwellers and loyal followers into battle for the castle.

Okay so.... none of that worked...

use the crossbow