Forum

Poll

14 Years of Skylanders, Have You Played Any?
View Results
Page 1 of 1
My Book Idea - HELP PLEASE
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#1 Posted: 02:29:04 07/03/2017 | Topic Creator
So it's my dream to be a writer professionally one day as I have loved writing since I was a kid. When I was younger, I would write stories about aliens and dragons and such - and, funny enough, that's what my dream is. For fun, I write spooky stories, but I want to go further with being a writer. I want to do it as a living, not just as a hobby. Below I have an idea written down for a books that I could write and maybe have properly published. Could I ask for your opinions on it? I'd really appreciate it.

It's called Room For Rent, and it's a Horror novel. The plot goes like this:

John, a student fresh out of college, is looking for somewhere to stay and start his dream career as an author. In a small town nearby, John finds a house where a friendly old couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Valentin live. This house has a room for rent which charges low rates, so he asks if he can, just for a few months, rent a room where he can stay to start his new life. The couple are more than happy to let him stay, and things seem great at first. The food's fantastic and both the husband and the wife are really friendly, treating John like a member of their own family. But soon, things start to change. As time passes, it starts to look like things aren't what they seemed at first. Then, when John makes a chilling discovery that leads to him questioning whether he is really safe in the house or not, he realizes that he needs to get out - and soon.

Here's the ending (or the rough idea I have of it) if you want to see it:
So the discovery that John made is that Mr. and Mrs. Valentin are serial killers. He finds in their basement multiple body bags hidden behind the wall with the remains of people who have gone missing as far back as twenty years. After that, John kindly tells them that he is leaving the next morning, which greatly upsets Mrs. Valentin and angers Mr. Valentin, prompting the latter to start getting violent. John makes a run for it, but Mr, Valentin pulls out a gun and shoots John in the leg, leaving him unable to walk. He then throws John into the basement where the rest of the bodies are, and tells him that if he tries to escape again he will be killed. John stays down there for a few hours, only allowed to use the bathroom in the basement. Then Mr. Valentin comes back down with an apple and John's typewriter, telling him that he is allowed to write and eat. John writes a bit to calm his nerves. Mrs. Valentin visits John and brings him food. She tells him how they lost their son when he was young, and ever since they have found it too painful to let go. Thus, whenever someone would come to rent a room and would then want to leave, they would kill them because they couldn't bare losing anyone again. John then tries to plot his escape. His leg heals for the most part, and out of tissue in the bathroom he makes a bandage. Then, one night, John calls Mr. Valentin to the basement, pretending that his leg is putting him in terrible pain. Once the his kidnapper comes downstairs, John swings his typewriter over his head, knocking him unconscious. He then hobbles upstairs, only to be attacked by Mrs. Valentin with a knife. John then uses some window cleaner he took from the basement's bathroom to blind her, and then gets out of the house. He tries to jump start Mr. Valentin's truck, but he starts getting shot at by Mr. Valentin, who's head is bleeding heavily but is still conscious. However, John manages to get the truck going, and then drives it right through the Valentins' house, killing both Mr. and Mrs. Valentin. He then passes out at the scene once getting out of the truck, and he is then found by police. The end.


So, what do you guys think of it?
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
84skylanderdude Platinum Sparx Gems: 5540
#2 Posted: 03:42:31 07/03/2017
If you wanna do this professionally, you're gonna want to come up with something more unique and original. This story is a very basic barebones setting and is basically just a clump of cliched ideas that are always used. You wanna have something original that hasn't been done before. I can't stress enough how basic this plot is.

Sorry if this came off as mean, but you're gonna go into something seriously you need legitimate uncensored criticism to grow your skills.
---
“No one knows what the outcome will be. So, as much as you can, choose whatever you'll regret the least.” - Levi Ackerman
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#3 Posted: 20:01:06 07/03/2017 | Topic Creator
Quote: 84skylanderdude
If you wanna do this professionally, you're gonna want to come up with something more unique and original. This story is a very basic barebones setting and is basically just a clump of cliched ideas that are always used. You wanna have something original that hasn't been done before. I can't stress enough how basic this plot is.

Sorry if this came off as mean, but you're gonna go into something seriously you need legitimate uncensored criticism to grow your skills.


Okay. Thank you for the advice. I will take note of this.
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Page 1 of 1

Please login or register a forum account to post a message.

Username Password Remember Me