darkSpyro

Bear with me here, I know everyone here constantly hears about my ex and being genderfluid and its probably getting Tumblry and old to literally everyone, but I'm here to contribute about lessons learned, not drive any point home.

Back in July, I had a terrible breakup. Everyone knows that by now. Everyone knows the deep, dark, horrible place it put me in. Everyone knows how different, and frankly scary, it made me. Everyone knows how for days on end, I'd do nothing but cry, eat ice cream, and wallow in my own sadness.

But now, even though I still have lots of issues, I really think I'm happier without her. Coming out as genderfluid, meeting TheFlyingSeal and Sess IRL and spending like a whole week with them, cutting off all my toxic ties with real life friends and getting newer and less ****ty ones, all of that changed me. Something about my ex was holding me back from being happy. Pretty much everyone I've talked to agreed that she brought out the worst in me rather than the best, and was generally manipulative to me just so she could gain something. In the last few weeks before it ended, she really only used me for sex, which I was pretty blissfully unaware of. I thought everything would be fine, we'd stop being on the rocks and I'd go back to my mindset of normality like nothing ever happened.

In reality, that was a really crappy place to be. I'm far happier now than I was at any point with her. Even though days like I had today can feel terrible, I can get through them. If I fail a test, I won't get chastised for being stupid like I was with her. If I mess up in a video game, I won't be called an idiot. I feel much more... free, in lieu of a better term.

TL ; DR: I need to choose my partners better, but I need one that actually respects me and let me be myself.

Uh, mine is definately not as big as you guys', but it's a good lesson nonetheless.

Learning when to put your foot down. When 'I'm the problem' should stop being an excuse to drag yourself in the dirt and hope it'll get better if you keep trying to make others happy. It won't; you're not making anyone happy forever being miserable yourself. Best decision in my entire life was to give the most devious smile to my old school principal and say 'I'm never coming back here again' after five ****ing years they let the bullying happen. Went to an amazing place last year of high school,and yeah the damage stayed,but I started improving again before it was too late.

So kids, if doing the right thing(truly and from the bottom of your heart) doesn't change a crappy situation, blaming yourself and waiting to be understood is never the answer. Sometimes you have to do big changes and sometimes people are beyond reasoning.

That even if you try your best to live a reasonably healthy lifestyle, your genetics can still **** up your health and make life miserable for you.

And that you shouldn't be afraid to call your health insurance provider when things are screwy. <.<;