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#1 Posted: 03:45:19 03/07/2014 | Topic Creator
I've decided to write the most ridiculous Fanfiction ever. Our goal is to introduce the most unheard-of plot devices you'll ever see. This goes by the canon of the first movie, but with a few surprises.
Isla Nublar
120 Miles West of Costa Rica
A clap of thunder sent a shock wave through the tropical jungle, dully rocking a muddy RV trailer that had been hurriedly parked between two large boulders. Although it was backed up against a cliff, the vehicle was hardly sheltered from the rain, which poured down like a cascade of high-velocity pebbles. Given the frantic nature of the scene, the raindrops were not unlike anxious fingers tapping the glossy roof with a sense of desperate urgency. The rhythm was, in essence, a natural metronome for the vehicle's occupants, though the tempo was far too sporadic and frenzied for their liking. Every so often, a swaying palm tree would be caught in an unexpected blast of wind, creating an unearthly wail as the leaves rattled in defiance, snapping at the storm like a pack of ferocious predators. The surrounding vegetation would occasionally be thrust against the trailer with a metallic thud, startling those inside. The impact was fierce enough to buckle the roof, or so it seemed. The noise, however, failed to overpower the shrieks and gurgles that came from behind the reinforced windows.
A group of scientists and maintenance workers were frantically searching for a means to silence a meter-long reptile, whom they had recently captured. The head scientist and his female assistant were struggling to hold it still, clamping its mouth shut whenever possible, for it had chewed through their muzzle. The device was still fastened around its skull, though the front segment dangled from the reptile's mouth like a gob of saliva. Although it was less than a year old, the hatchling proved to be a rebellious hostage, not as lethal as its adult counterparts, perhaps, but troublesome nonetheless. As it thrashed about, its captors compensated for its movements tenaciously, just barely managing to constrain its body, which was still slick with rainwater. Whenever it made a lunge for their faces, they squeezed it reprimandingly, though the assistant would sometimes offer random phrases of gentle reassurance to lessen the cruelty of the gesture. The lesser scientists would often flinch at these potentially hostile movements, latently preparing themselves for an unprecedented escape. They remained tense long after these brief intervals, watching the creature out of the corners of their eyes. Their anxiety did not remain unnoticed by their supervisor, however, who used their fear as a sordid motivator.
"Don't let the little bugger distract you, folks; it only gives the pack more time to plan an ambush. Let's shut him up so we can put some distance between us, eh?" a brawny engineer prompted.
A few scientists cringed at the man's comment. There was no way they could delay the trailer's discovery; it was far too late for a silent escape, and the creature's vocalizations had nothing to do with it. Had they captured any other infant, as they had done countless times before, they would be as safe as was possible on a dinosaur-infested island. He wasn't the largest theropod they had wrangled, not even close, but the species' deadliness was not dependent on brute force alone. Because they had not prepared themselves for anything more than a grab-and-go mission, the researchers were the quarry of a relentless foe, and they knew it. No one was safe as long as they remained stationary beside the crossroad, and the pretense of subtlety was nothing more than a dubious facade to the panicked scientists. The maintenance workers, on the other hand, seemed to believe the engineer's claims, though they lacked the competence needed to contribute to the endeavor. It was clear that someone would have to decide upon a course of action. Nobody volunteered.
Whether or not they could access their destination by speeding across the most direct path was becoming irrelevant as their assailants drew near. The longer road, though more concealed, was hazardous in rainy conditions, but they were somewhat equipped for this type of vehicular travel. Neither option was completely viable, given the cunning of their adversaries and the unpredictable weather. Whatever the case, they would have to motor it if a consensus couldn't be reached.
Without warning, their situation became much, much worse. The back half of the trailer suddenly lurched into a squelchy dike, splashing the bumper with putrid water. Those who were close to the walls grabbed counters and ledges for support. A toolbox smashed open, and the scalpels inside slid across the floor and clattered against the back wall, creating a cacophony of percussive scientific utensils. After a couple of half-hearted wobbles, the RV finally settled itself in a precarious slanted state. A temporary river had formed at the base of the cliff behind the trailer, and the earth beneath the back wheels was slowly washing away.
"Someone get the tow rope!" the engineer shouted.
The scientists froze. Some shuffled backwards sheepishly, others stared at the man with utter disbelief. Surely he didn't expect . . .
"You, Joe, on your feet!"
The conscripted mechanic shook his head fiercely, but his reluctance was soon dismissed. Before he could protest any further, he was shoved out the door, still whimpering, into the rainy darkness.
With Joe gone, a sudden hush swept over the scientists. The baby dinosaur was no longer screaming. It sat quietly in the scientists' arms, chirruping pleasantly. Somehow, this was less reassuring than before.
"Alright men, keep it moving, we don't want to get behind schedule!"
Although most personnel obeyed his commands, some stared ominously out the front window, waiting for the inevitable tragedy to occur. They had seen death before, but they were never quite ready for it, nor had they been completely desensitized to gore and violence. Through the front window, they tried to get a good view of the jungle, but the rain was thick, and it was nearly impossible to see through the dense, silver curtain of vapor. One spectator turned to his friend and began to place bets on how long Joe would survive. He was joking, of course, but they still agreed on "less than five minutes". Morbid humor was hardly a rarity in such tense environments, but there was a hint of seriousness to this particular gag. Rather than dwell on it, the scientists focused their attention on the engineer, who was presently yelling at them.
"Quit gawking! We have work to do! Get your rears into gear, people!"
They obliged.
"That's more like it. Well, I'll be damned, Johnson found a rope! Tie the little sucker up, boys, and for the love of god, someone tell Joe to hurry u-"
The trailer rocked. Suddenly, the researchers were paralyzed with fear. Even the engineer seemed petrified. After a moment of silence, he attempted to resume his authoritative instructions.
"It was nothing, forget about it. We-"
Before he could finish, Johnson turned him around with his free hand. There, sliding down the front windshield, was a bloody stub of an arm.
"My God . . ."
"Is that? . . ."
The engineer turned sharply.
"Move! Move! Move!" he bellowed.
The man in the driver's seat slammed on the gas pedal. The wheels continued to spin uselessly. The engineer knew that they would need to conserve their fuel, seeing as they had no idea how long it would have to last, but if one of those raptors breached the fragile windows, they wouldn't live long enough to burn their supply.
"Hey Simon! Any chance you could get us moving?" shouted the engineer.
"You want to get out and push?" Simon snapped back. The engine's roar, combined with human shouts and raptor cries, was loud enough to force any coherent thoughts to dissipate upon arrival. The personnel who had once, for the most part, graduated with distinction were now as competent as lobotomized pigeons.
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CAUTION!
Falling Chandeliers
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