darkSpyro

I'm creating a dark, dramatic Skylanders fanfic. It won't come for a while, but here's the prologue:

The darkness was coming. I knew it. I could taste it in the air. A lifetime fighting the darkness, and it had returned. The once-grand core of light lay in ruins. I was terrified, but the prophecy had foretold this. And it told me that the chosen one's predecessor would guide him. A sudden yell snapped me back to reality. It was Terrafin. A Skylander of the terrus, or Earth element. He had been zapped with the dark energy. Once a great hero, now nothing but a statue. "Skylanders! There's still one portal master! He lives in a region of Earth known as Idaho. You must find him and bring him to Skylands. He is the only one that can destroy the darkness for once and for all." These were my last words. For at that moment, the arbos head of the Hydra shot out a vine. It was the most terrifying Dragon of all. It was the eldest child of Malefor. The vine choked the life out of me. That was the day I, Master Eon, died. But in the last few seconds, I saw him. The face of the fallen prince who haunted me in my dreams.

Kaos.

Uuuuh........
I advise you not to ask for Feedback in your topic title. It makes you sound like a wannaby.

Sustainablespyro: You have almost too much plot in one paragraph. If Master Eon dies, who is telling us about the face of Kaos? Maybe tell us that he's saying this with his dying breath? But I must admit it's exciting and suspenseful. Two sentence fragments in one para are probably too many, even for emphasis.

Hmmm... interesting, very. But, you might have wanted to not start like this. It's good, and I'll try to read when I can.

Okay, I'm currently revising the next part and it should be coming.

And the next part never came...

Sorry everyone, but the next part is a major disaster and it needs a lot of editing. Thanks for the bump!