darkSpyro

What's your opinion on weddings? Do you want one? Do you think the traditions suck?
When looking at wedding stuff the judgement is real. If you wear a dress even one shade off from ivory you will be crucified online. 99% of wedding subculture stuff confuses me greatly.

i dont understand why someone would spend so much money on an event when most people don't even wanna be there. my uncle is having his wedding in his backyard. that's how i will do it if i decide to be legally bound with my boyfriend lol

Mine will be in June. You can cherrypick what traditions you wanna do. I don't care about most of them so planning has been low-stress for a wedding. Most people do not care that much. The level of drama will vary based on you and your partner's families and I am mostly lucky there. Extended family I don't like is simply not invited.

Quote: Big Green

Mine will be in June. You can cherrypick what traditions you wanna do. I don't care about most of them so planning has been low-stress for a wedding. Most people do not care that much. The level of drama will vary based on you and your partner's families and I am mostly lucky there. Extended family I don't like is simply not invited.

Is it expensive to do one?

Quote: somePerson

Quote: Big Green

Mine will be in June. You can cherrypick what traditions you wanna do. I don't care about most of them so planning has been low-stress for a wedding. Most people do not care that much. The level of drama will vary based on you and your partner's families and I am mostly lucky there. Extended family I don't like is simply not invited.

Is it expensive to do one?

It doesn't have to be. I know people who did their wedding at their house. I got a pretty local venue that is relatively inexpensive and it is cheaper to cater if you keep the guest list small.

We are skipping stuff like the engagement party, bachelor party, etc because we don't really care to set all that up too.

well pretty much like most girls who grew up before a smartphone was surgically attached to your hand after birth i wanted and imagined finding the boy of my dreams and having a big fancy wedding and being happy and having a family and then i hit about like.... 11? and realized emo haircut HAPPINESS DOESNT EXIST... okay no but i eventually didnt see the point i think i made a topic where i explained something like this before but i dont feel like looking for it right now lol anywaaaay i think i dont need a wedding if i want to be with the boy i love i will just be with him i dont need to stand at an alter and process my undying love he will already know all of that stuff and weddings can be really expensive the only thing you really get out of it is government benefits and stuff like that which in that case i would be down for a courthouse wedding if it was needed but i do not NEED your traditional dress and suit wedding no matter what i would not want a whole bunch of people i dont really know there if he wants his family there SURE! i have no family who would be there except Danny so it would be likely empty and quiet anyway so maybe just skip the hoops and jumps and just sign a piece of paper and be on my way i think its ridiculous when people say you NEED to have a wedding because you need to be spouses or whatever i dont know maybe its just me but i dont think it changes the relationship if i love you i love you and thats all there is to it just because my last name is different now doesnt mean ive reached a new level of love or commitment or relationship standard absolutely not in my case it would then fall on my guy if he was REALLY into it and REALLY wanted me to go from Lindsey Temko to Lindsey Doe and that would really reeeeeally make him happy i wouldnt be a jerk about it i could and would get into it i would stick with my opinion i dont think that we NEED to do it but theres no reason to make a big deal of it on either side of the argument to me buuuut if he want to do it LETS GO CRAZY LETS GET NUTS

Weddings seem nice! But the minute you start to stress about perfection, getting all the details right, expecting everyone to act a certain way, etc., I think you start to lose focus of what it's all about. It's a celebration of love between you and a partner! Thus I don't want wedding planning (if I ever have to do it) to be a big stressful endeavor.
Recently I just went to my first wedding celebrating friends of my own (rather than being dragged along to a wedding of a family member/family friend that I don't have much of a connection to), and I was also asked to be a bridesmaid for my old roommate's wedding. Both made me realize how beautiful and lovely weddings can be and I'd love to have that experience someday! Weddings are always something I postponed thinking about though so I'm actually not too aware of how to plan one or what the traditions are...
Assuming I married my current girlfriend (which we are still wAAYYY too far away from considering yet, lol), I don't think we'd follow all the traditions too closely. I mean we are lesbians, so that already throws many traditions into question. The thing that makes me a little nervous though is that my gf is only out to her immediate family, and her brother is the only one that would really support us. Her extended family would disown her for being gay. So like... it may make her uncomfortable to have only one person on her side when I've got my whole fam? Idk. Maybe that won't be a big deal, but if we decided to commit to marriage, I'd want to celebrate in a way that makes sense to both of us, and I'm not sure if a wedding is best for that in my current case.

Edit: I am telling my gf about this post rn lol. It appears I knew my gf well enough to predict that this was indeed a concern of hers! She sounds... greatly relieved that I am cool with alternate forms of celebration.

^aaaaw i loved all of that

it is a shame to hear about your girlfriends family though that really sucks eh my father almost through me out of the house when i suggested i might have done something with a girl had to promise i never would to stay lol but i think its super sweet of you that your open not only to the wedding but other kinds of celebrations for her too!

Yeahhh that whole thing has been a persistent issue. She's always been pretty close to her family and they have many opportunities where everyone gets together, so it puts a lot of pressure on her to be the person they want her to be and hide the fact she's dating a girl. Therapy, reflection and time spent with me is making her realize she really wants to pull away from that, but of course transitioning to independence from them is a difficult thing to do!
And aww thank you I appreciate it! c: I feel like both parties' input is super important to a wedding/celebration so long as they aren't conflicting or stifling each other! Some people (ex. my old roomie) have always dreamed of nice weddings, but I've never been like that. If my partner's happy then I'm happy!

its a shame when your own family cant be accepting of who you are thats a part of loving someone especially your own child too is being able to understand and accept them even if they are different then you "thought" or you "wanted" i cannot even imagine doing that to my kid. not a niece/nephew/cousin nobody that sucks. and absolutely i think your right on that i mean as long as both people are happy thats what matters the wedding is after all about those two people and they should be the ones together making it special however they want it to be