darkSpyro

Starting discussions here kinda suck because they usually end with people saying I'm ignorant/don't know what I'm saying/trying to start drama. legit the last person I tried to anger on purpose was a pedo so.....

I've been reading this psychology book recently and there's a really interesting topic in it about confidence. people who are more confident about their opinions are more likely to be not as knowledge as they think. this is because they are not confident enough to rethink or evaluate their opinion so it never evolves. Having doubts about your thoughts is better than believing what's said is gospel. these people are also more likely to get more verbal or heated when being challenged in a discussion

This is also why I hate it when people default to "you think you know everything".

When you pour your heart and soul into a picture and some screenshot a rando took off of their favourite anime gets infinitely more attention in one day than the picture you drew ever will in a lifetime. Not demotivating at all. Makes me feel great.

Holy crap, stop harping on about politics every time I visit you. This is why I hate being near you. This is why one of these days you're never going to see me again. Would you even CARE? Considering the way you act, I'm convinced you wouldn't, and if that's the case then you shouldn't be upset when I finally drop you forever because the way you borderline attack people over political opinions - or their lack of interest in the matter entirely - is inappropriate.

Apparently I live here now.

Sometimes I sit around and think about things that went wrong in my past and feel bitter about them and I really hate that I wallow in those past failures. Today I was thinking about the time like 6 years ago where someone found out I was talking about how fast of a typist I am and decided to impulsively set me up to try and find a job in data entry. Its true I do type super fast, but I only type fast if I'm writing complete sentences like stories or comments or whatever. If I had to write lists of like addresses or phone numbers or something, my short term memory craps out and I forget what I just read two seconds ago over and over. So, suffice to say data entry and I don't get along. I performed poorly, wasn't given the job - which was fine, I never wanted it - and the person who recommended me got angry at me for "lying about how fast I type." I didn't lie bro, you put me on the spot in a form of typing I'm terrible at! I'm still angry at that person and I don't even remember who they are. I was thinking about it out of nowhere today and sheesh I wish I had just told them no when I had the chance and not embarrassed myself.

tfw you're so mentally ill it gives you a cold...

Literally me ↑

Quote: Shadow-Cipher

Literally me ↑

look, i appreciate the effort, but i'm not doing great. there's not much i can do to fix it, either.

i've been having a very hard time and responding "literally me" is a little insensitive, even if you meant well.

i'm sorry this also happens to you. it sucks.

Welp, time to self loathe because I once again failed to understand how to be a bloody human being. This is why I shouldn't talk to people. I always screw up because I'm too stupid to understand basic human conversation. I'm sorry I even opened my stupid mouth. I should just learn to shut up. Nobody wants to hear me.

Quote: Drawdler

i still try to look better because then people like me more. Even myself. I dont know if im actually happy besides certain things or just entertained

Your imagery falls on blind eyes

_____

godddddd interacting with new people is horrible and yet necessary

also a bummer that the research is very dear to me and very very draining

y'know, it would be real great if time could stop passing so ****ing fast. just, slow down for a while.

I guess this is what it means to take action.

i dislike it when people talk trash about others and hide behind "its just criticism" or "I'm just discussing about them"

I am mad jealous of my friends ability to pose humans. I swear my humans are always standing in one of three poses when I draw them and its so frustrating because all my art just looks like I traced my own picture of the last time I drew a human and then moved the arms to one of the other two positions I put them in. I'm convinced other people automatically see it too and that's why nobody likes my art. Like, even my friends who claim they like my art, I'm convinced they too can see my lack of posing knowledge and are just too nice to tell me how terrible it is.

kinda want to stream again but at the same time its kinda tiring. plus I think I need like 5 more subs for the next twitch paycheck

wow i love feeling sick /s

self awareness and self deprecating jokes aren't always 1 to 1. I feel like a good amount people who make self deprecating jokes pretend to not be insecure about their flaws because they never try to help or fix those flaws. most of the time self deprecating makes yourself feel worse

I feel like an absolute moron incapable of getting anything done. I have no idea how to be an adult because everyone treated me like a stupid little kid, especially because of my autism, and now I've been an adult for like 7 years and I feel about as capable as I did when I was 16 years sitting in high school crying because I can't handle the way people treat me. I feel like I'm never going to learn how to exist in society and care for my own life because now whenever I need help people tell me I should've learned that in high school. Yeah, I probably should've. I didn't. Why can't people just answer the questions and help me figure out how this whole adult thing works?

that was fun, I should do that more often. also today wasn't nearly as bad of a day as it could have been so that was nice.

It felt so good to play that game, make a lot of really solid progress, and not have someone get bent out of shape about my progress. Its so tiring have people compare their progress in a game to my progress in a game since it makes me feel like I'm not allowed to be better at a game than my friends or I'm not allowed to make too much progress. But no, this time I gathered my wits, did something I've been wanting to do for ages, and I got it done and it felt absolutely amazing and I was so happy to come back and show off all the cool things I built and looted while I was off doing that thing.

Repeatedly pestering me about when I'm gonna play a game, watch an anime, etc is an awesome way to assure I will never want to do the thing you're trying to convince me to do.

Ah. Okay. So the manga makes sense. The anime is just a bunch of pandering fanservice.

...look, now I’m embarrassed.

Genuinely not about anyone here.

I sincerely hope that you're not too blind to see that you don't have anything I gave you anymore. But I dunno why you would wanna keep it anyway, all things considered.

*turns into a house plant*

When you outperform someone in a genre of game you have a lot of experience in and they've barely played and they become so bitter that you're outperforming them even though you're not bragging about it at all and even trying to help them learn that they decide to just replace you with a game you don't play so you can't outperform them. I'm almost tempted to buy that game just so I can ruin their fun, but I hate the game so much that I don't wanna give it any money, and besides, they'll just move on to a new thing if I ruin this thing for them.

another bad day in a bad week in a bad month in a bad year...

shoutouts to google docs suggestions mode for destroying my assignment by not saving half of my work. very awesome. some might say epic

Look, I know that your parents still buy everything for you and the cost of a thing rarely matters because you're not the one paying for it, but some of us aren't babied by our parents and actually have to buy things ourselves. So that like 5 dollars you consider nothing to buy some random game isn't so trivial to someone who can't even afford to eat more than one meal a day. I'd rather save that money, but you continue to pester me into spending 2 dollars here or 3 dollars there and its adds up, man!

I could be saving this money towards a thing I really want. I have multiple lists of things I wanna buy, some of which are publicly available and some of which have been sitting there for years. You can see I struggle to buy things I want! Why do you continue to insist on me spending money I barely have on things I don't give a crap about?

still sometimes think about a girl that led me on Sadge

When you buy an industrial-sized case of mango hand soap:

1st refill: Aw nice, mango!
5th refill: I can hardly notice the scent...
20th refill: This scent is anathema to my lungs. It is poison on the very way I live. Curse whoever made this soap.

I've been posting more actively here recently and it's been really nice, kinda nostalgic. Can't post 100 times a day like I did back in the day but it's still fun.

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It's gonna rain every day for the rest of the week and I'm gonna hate it.