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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
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Personal Thoughts [STICKY]
Vespi Gold Sparx Gems: 2866
#46201 Posted: 06:24:42 13/06/2021
back to real PTs

this is the first time in like... a year ive felt relaxed. there’s nothing immediately wrong in my life, in fact things are getting a bit better. this night is... peaceful. it’s nice feeling content with the world
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
Trix Master 100 Diamond Sparx Gems: 8213
#46202 Posted: 08:39:30 13/06/2021
Dude if read what I posted then why the **** did you think that was a good idea? Literally sends red flags to someone my guy.

Edit: If I am on this ****ing ride a goddamn gain I am going to **** magma. Please let this be a language barrier thing. Even tho it seems like you're dodging and complaining about it. Clarity: A dude from a discord server I regularly chill in but omg. God please say sike right now.

Thank you god
---
If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest
icon from Empoh
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 08:51:00 13/06/2021 by Trix Master 100
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#46203 Posted: 08:51:12 13/06/2021
I kinda learned today that I need to fix my sleep. And that this one girl I know is kinda garbage lmao
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
sans Gold Sparx Gems: 2455
#46204 Posted: 00:21:39 14/06/2021
you're a stupid baby man who needs to grow up. you're horrible, i hope you realize that. you can't have everything bottle fed to you. learn to do things on your own. you're literally older than me, hard to believe.

anyway, after today, i hope you get kicked from all our circles and rot. bye!!!
---
hey what's up i'm sans and i'm trans

winner of the ultimate tumblr sexyman contest
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46205 Posted: 01:40:11 14/06/2021
Quote: skylandersfan60
Tag yourself on the dS alignment chart.

[User Posted Image]



Somewhere in between criminal troll and depressed troll
Carmelita Fox Prismatic Sparx Gems: 12485
#46206 Posted: 02:51:24 14/06/2021
Quote: skylandersfan60
Tag yourself on the dS alignment chart.

[User Posted Image]


im a Criminal Child Depressed Furry Gay Troll
Immy Blue Sparx Gems: 999
#46207 Posted: 05:01:37 14/06/2021
Quote: skylandersfan60
Tag yourself on the dS alignment chart.

[User Posted Image]



gay troll
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46208 Posted: 05:07:56 14/06/2021
My depression has been cured now I'm just an ordinary criminal troll
Vespi Gold Sparx Gems: 2866
#46209 Posted: 06:16:11 14/06/2021
Quote: Drawdler
in light of what sess did do you think that if i came here and genuinely tried to get along with anyone, and hadn't made this post that i would still be treated like piss while people are crying about how sess acted and how people were driven away in retrospect

i could say a lot and i'm really just saying this coz today is mind-numbing for me but this is probably a more damning question than anything else i could pull. ask yourself if you drove others away as well. what sess did is truly terrible but if you act like he's the only problem you're way ****ing off (i kept saying people here never spoke up enough and i'm sure that's forever going to be a problem, which is a testament to this), many people here have driven others away. are you only going to realise in retrospect or if those other people here become hated or dirt about bull**** or others' thoughts on them comes up or they also do something that terrible? i might not be around anymore and i'm lonely as **** now so i can't really say i speak to anyone here, but i was here long enough and saw enough people ***** and had enough gossip passed to me to know how this place goes. check yourself.

i have nothing to lose or really even particularly gain posting this. if anyone individual does just miss me, then i don't even even believe anyone for ****. i'm not here for apologies or pity because i wouldn't believe anyone, i'm here to say just ****ing check yourself. and one other thing, which is much more important to me.

there's no way for me to say what i wanted without sounding like an asshole in this post honestly. (or maybe just temporarily being an asshole outright.) assume what you want about me because i've been very ill and thrust with way more from my parents. this ****ing site honestly contributed to my ptsd (i mean genuine ptsd with nightmares and insomnia, something that still rears up every couple of weeks) so as terrible as the situation is i will say that i feel some sort of conclusion to this, something i never really felt before. so as abrasive as i'm being, i'd rather say that. i'm looking for a silver lining here, i mean. i know there are people here who have done other terrible (less terrible, but still terrible things) and face nothing for it, but my silver lining is that i can put this more to rest and while sad, feel some sort of justice toward this user and all the people here who hated or spoke against me because i was the ****ing one honest and open about how i felt and when i just saw sess being an asshole. jesus ****ing christ. if it wasn't something that bad i wouldn't have said ****. and i'm not here to say i told you so or any **** because that's just insensitive and what happened is terrible. but now that i heard about it, it's too large (and i'm too bored, and feel too personally vindicated) not to leave any comment and idrc.

still wish dark would flag me anyway though, because having **** left on this site feels even more gross now, but i guess i distanced myself enough. this happens, i hear about it, i'm still going to say anything and i keep saying i'm going to leave or last post or ****, i'm not even going to say it this time but i must say this feels like tying up a loose end for me. as terrible as it is, i actually got something from it and it's nice (really uh, awkward given what happened but still) to feel that way.

i'm not here to cause drama or any ****. even though i'm bored. even though i'm sure i'll come across this way. again i'm actually looking at the silver lining here. pissed to hear what happened but the more i think about it the more that vindication actually helps with my day because i feel like i can make some personal progress. it's terrible, i'm sure there are people here who just want to forget entirely. i don't mean to make this about me. i don't think anyone here cares about me unless they're just pissed to see that i posted here at most or something. but it's just me tossing my thoughts into the void again. if i lose or gain anything, it's just that, that's all i was really doing when i was here.

i only know and asked because of a meme i got sent oh ****ing lawd



i wasnt going to take the time to respond to this, but in your own words, i have nothing to lose or particularly gain by posting this.

you want to know why no one responds to you anymore? you want to know why it seems like everyone here hates you? it’s the pity party. it’s the constant picking apart of every single interaction in an attempt to find something damning, something exposing and worthwhile. stop for a second and think. look back on any of the posts about people’s past interactions with sess and their friendship with her. nearly all of them that weren’t pretty obvious jokes were about how awful and abusive she was in the friendships. take crystal dragons post for a prime example of that. people years ago werent defending her because they agreed with her, they were defending her because they were afraid of the repercussions, like a lot of abusive relationships. if you REALLY think that you calling her out for being a creep years ago and being **** on for it wasnt people responding out of fear and that youve been right all this time, youre a lot blinder to abusive relationships than you think. you want to think youre the hero and you’re justified and you were right all along, but youre not. youre ignorant and self obsessed.

you parade around your trauma like a badge of honor, spitting venom about how the users of darkSpyro wronged you in some way, and how youre justified in vengeance and vindictive feelings. you hold onto your rage and your anger and your spite as fuel for the days, the years, the decades ahead, hyper focused on the people who wronged you and how much better than them youre going to be. you want to know the real kicker? the funniest joke in lifes playbook? as long as you maintain that vengeful mindset, you will never get better.

i know all this **** because i wallowed in my own self pity for years, fueled by hatred, doing the exact same thing you did. the only reason i got better, the only reason im achieving anything in my life, is because i got real, professional help, and i learned that anger and rage towards others can only get you so far in life. i still have a long way to go, but i can say im a better person than i was before and a better person than the people who abused me, because i learned that if you stay hyper fixated on people and what they did to you, you’ll never get any better. you want people here to get a reality check? they did. they got a hard one. i suggest you get one too before you end up with absolutely nothing to show for your spiteful, vengeful efforts.

it’s sad. the drawdler i remember from years ago had so much passion and excitement, and now it’s been replaced with nothing but malice in an empty shell of the fun and creative person you used to be. so yeah, i hope this hurts, i hope this stings, not because i wish you any more pain than youve endured, but because the biggest reality checks we need in life always do. get some help, some professional help. if you already have some, get some more. if everything you said is true, you need it. im not expecting you to reply, im not expecting you to even read this all the way through. maybe you want to stay angry, stay vengeful. i don’t blame you in the slightest. just know it’s a path with a definitive, sad end, and i sincerely hope you can overcome that.
---
(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆
sans Gold Sparx Gems: 2455
#46210 Posted: 07:10:17 14/06/2021
today has been bad, very very bad. i'm so tired.
---
hey what's up i'm sans and i'm trans

winner of the ultimate tumblr sexyman contest
Jaggedstar Diamond Sparx Gems: 8018
#46211 Posted: 12:45:21 14/06/2021
wanna call out another user for being a p**o but all the evidence is long gone((:
---
Quote: Paytawn
oh my god
ReshiramForever Platinum Sparx Gems: 5198
#46212 Posted: 13:23:59 14/06/2021
call it sentimentality, or nostalgia, or guilt, maybe a bit of masochism, and definitely schadenfreude (i AM here, after all, and she deserves all and more), but i've been thinking about you a lot lately. its been years. i don't think i ever really stopped. maybe i could've been a better friend. maybe there was something i could've done. maybe i've just had a bit too much to drink.

did you leave me behind, or did we just drift apart? i don't know. i don't think i'll ever really know. you were my best friend once - there were a lot of things about a lot of people i never really knew about (or maybe i never cared enough because it didn't affect me personally, maybe i'm so dense i never noticed), and i'm not just referring to the recent user of note. it eats me up inside. i hope he never hurt you like he did others.

maybe i'm just part of something you didn't want anything to do with anymore, and that's fine. that i'd been deleted as a contact off of everything is clue enough. it was MY fault you were ever here at all, for better or worse. i'm sorry.

wherever you are now, i hope you're doing well, and i'm sorry
---
self professed austGAYlian
Carmelita Fox Prismatic Sparx Gems: 12485
#46213 Posted: 13:33:12 14/06/2021
Quote: Jaggedstar
wanna call out another user for being a p**o but all the evidence is long gone((:



maybe you should anyway. there's a chance someone else had a similar experience and could corroborate your statements, since from what i've seen these internet sex pests seem to always have multiple victims.
Jaggedstar Diamond Sparx Gems: 8018
#46214 Posted: 14:50:01 14/06/2021
Quote: Carmelita Fox
Quote: Jaggedstar
wanna call out another user for being a p**o but all the evidence is long gone((:



maybe you should anyway. there's a chance someone else had a similar experience and could corroborate your statements, since from what i've seen these internet sex pests seem to always have multiple victims.



i wouldn't know where to start, i'm a pussy when it comes to confrontation, they'll probably try find ways to blame 13 year old jstar, and i'm not even sure he's still active here....idk maybe one day when i'm not such a pussy LOL
sorry i know that's not funny in the slightest i just idk
i'm sorry maybe i shouldn't have even posted that lmk if i should delete
---
Quote: Paytawn
oh my god
ThroneOfMalefor Platinum Sparx Gems: 5428
#46215 Posted: 18:06:56 14/06/2021
Not about anyone here, or anyone that should be here at least.

To think after everything I've done for you, stuck my neck out late nights to see you succeed, get your education on the road, be a pillow to scream into, extended so many pleasantries. Even tried to throw you a bone a couple days ago when everyone was calling you out, I was hoping you were sincerely asking for advice. But then to hear that I'm near the top of your ****list for who knows how long. Might be my naïvete. Or maybe I'm a testament to how damaging your presence is since I kept trying to see you get better to no avail. Literally all of us were. But shame on me multiple times, for thinking you were redeemable, for thinking you were a friend. For getting a former friend caught in your crosshairs. Watching you literally corrupt him. My heart aches and I have you to thank for that. And thanks for the last decade I guess since you made it loud and clear that it meant literally nothing
---
BREATHE AIR.
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#46216 Posted: 21:43:23 14/06/2021
Today is one of those days where you get emotional for no reason, huh? Pitiful.


^ talking about myself
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#46217 Posted: 22:02:20 14/06/2021
I never tell people my actual opinion on them because why would I lol
---
Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
HeyitsHotDog Diamond Sparx Gems: 8526
#46218 Posted: 22:35:06 14/06/2021
Not sure what else I can say that's already been said. After learning about you, your toxicity, and for nearly a decade, how you pressured people into talking about your horrid fantasies (Even if I got just the very tip of the iceberg of them, I was never comfortable with it and wished I said something because, for the love of God, I hated it. I only did it to humor you, thinking it was all okay and consensual from the third parties part.). What I was told about you left me actually shaking and furious.


You lied about so much simply for your own gain or personal gratification. And how you treated other people behind their backs (And sometimes TO THEM), people who you said you adored and treasured, shows it was all just facade to keep them in your lives. How manipulated a young kid who now has an undying loyalty to you, I knew you had your personal issues, but I never expected this when we first started talking. What annoys me is that, even though you showed a massive amount of respect and value to me, where you gained my trust and comfort, you still hid so much because you know I wouldn't stand for it. What's worse is that, to me, you were understanding of stuff I didn't like, even if you got annoyed with how vanilla I was (Seriously, who actually gives a **** about that unless it didn't meet a certain fantasy you had?) and not only did you understand, you agreed with me? Only to go to someone else to fulfill whatever stupid desire you had! There was no consistency with you, huh?! I'll admit, there was always this suspicion I had about you. Something felt off every time we interacted, there were what felt like minor inconsistencies, but I just rubbed it off, thinking it was just anxiety or something. Well, it turns out in the back of my mind, I was right to feel that way. So is my instinct good or what?

Even the more mundane conversations drove me nuts. Grrr! Nintendo bad! Grrr! I don't like this user! Grrr! Despite the fact I'm not friends with all these people anymore, THEY'RE THE PROBLEM!!

Just the same stuff, over and over again. Never anything like "So Rex, how's life? Hows school? Your dogs? Your cats?" Nothing like that ever came up, and while I didn't really ask that stuff either, it was because you didn't seem to care to talk about that stuff.

And now that it's over, I feel so...free? I never felt pressured to not talk to people because of you (You encouraged me to talk to other people and make friends, even) but, man, I don't know why but it feels like I have a weight lifted off my shoulders. I feel much less stressed, anxious, and much more social, comfortable, and outgoing to people you called friends, who I now consider my mine. And this goes beyond just them. It just feels so good to be rid of you.


Probably a mess of a post, but I've meant to say something for a while. I feel so relieved.
---
Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that
Edited 4 times - Last edited at 12:40:25 15/06/2021 by HeyitsHotDog
sans Gold Sparx Gems: 2455
#46219 Posted: 23:54:25 14/06/2021
you're beyond scum for spreading this so far. you're making my partner lose friends, you worthless piece of ****. why couldn't you just leave them alone? you're the one in the wrong but you're twisting this to fit your narrative. idiot.
---
hey what's up i'm sans and i'm trans

winner of the ultimate tumblr sexyman contest
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#46220 Posted: 05:41:13 15/06/2021
Huh. You really did get a burnout, hm? Just not quite the one that was expected... Hopefully you'll learn how to work even during these burnouts, lest you want to decline in your creative crafts and stop doing them altogether due to the fact it pains you to even attempt to do anything. On that note, why don't you stop subconsciously comparing yourself to everyone for once and actually do things your way, hm? You can't please everyone. You're your own person. So act like it, yes? You're literally making yourself feel like you have a piece of your soul missing, and you literally cried in front of your mom today because of this ludicrous reason. Please, grow up and learn. (But don't force yourself too much. Don't want to hate art and writing forever, eh?)


^ talking about myself again
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 05:42:28 15/06/2021 by Eevee88
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46221 Posted: 08:16:34 16/06/2021
I'm incredibly thankful for the people who have given me a second chance, I totally did not deserve it and you had every right to hate me and ignore me. Idk the specifics of what happened to a particular user recently but ever since it happened I've been thinking about how I treated you guys (thinking about it even more so than usual, I mean). I know I've had a good streak the last month or so since I came back and I really want that to continue. Sometimes it gets hard but I have things I can do to cope with it, I have my doctor of course and my support irl like my girlfriend and other friends who I've reconnected with, and I started writing in a journal, that's been very helpful.

I'm not sure what else to say here but I hope everyone is doing okay and taking care of your mental health, it's important. I just felt like making a post while I'm in a good mood and express some of my appreciation for everyone here, even if we havent talked much or at all, this place is pretty great even though bad things happen sometimes.
sans Gold Sparx Gems: 2455
#46222 Posted: 14:12:29 18/06/2021
wish there was a way to mute topics
---
hey what's up i'm sans and i'm trans

winner of the ultimate tumblr sexyman contest
derpyhooves Platinum Sparx Gems: 5737
#46223 Posted: 02:24:40 19/06/2021
I wish I would just get over this, but it's just not happening any time soon, I guess....
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#46224 Posted: 05:49:41 19/06/2021
This week was just...exhausting. mentally, emotionally, and physically.
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
sans Gold Sparx Gems: 2455
#46225 Posted: 11:28:06 19/06/2021
at least i don't have any weebs (derogatory) in my life anymore
---
hey what's up i'm sans and i'm trans

winner of the ultimate tumblr sexyman contest
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46226 Posted: 15:16:18 19/06/2021
It's hard for me to forgive people and move on sometimes. It was easy to forgive my ex-wife when she outed me to her family, why is it so hard now? I thought forgiving people would get easier with time
skylandersfan60 Gold Sparx Gems: 2738
#46227 Posted: 16:35:56 19/06/2021
Edit: I bought Vbucks smilie.
---
I'm a gamer, we're a dying breed.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 19:14:16 19/06/2021 by skylandersfan60
kite Blue Sparx Gems: 987
#46228 Posted: 17:53:06 19/06/2021
Haven't been on DS in a week bc I've been on data.
I want to like...start interacting with people? I'm shy tho and obv you know who has ****ed with my trust a bit more but I'll get better about it
---
case closed
StormDragon21 Platinum Sparx Gems: 5631
#46229 Posted: 22:21:35 19/06/2021
Quote: kite
Haven't been on DS in a week bc I've been on data.
I want to like...start interacting with people? I'm shy tho and obv you know who has ****ed with my trust a bit more but I'll get better about it



Wait... so I’m not the only person who can’t get darkSpyro to work on data?
---
"sTORM, my parents just told me something that RUINED MY LIFE. DID YOU KNOW that Smarties have different flavors?!" ~ShadowMewX
Metallo Platinum Sparx Gems: 6419
#46230 Posted: 23:49:59 19/06/2021
Quote: StormDragon21
Quote: kite
Haven't been on DS in a week bc I've been on data.
I want to like...start interacting with people? I'm shy tho and obv you know who has ****ed with my trust a bit more but I'll get better about it



Wait... so I’m not the only person who can’t get darkSpyro to work on data?



It's tricky. I've been able to do it but it's the desktop version so I have to zoom in pretty far.
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46231 Posted: 05:08:25 20/06/2021
Desktop view used to work for me up until about a year and a half ago. Now nothing works. I also used to use data saver and that worked sometimes
Ezio Hunter Gems: 7206
#46232 Posted: 05:10:08 20/06/2021
half tempted to give up on trying to date lmao.
---
"The cowboy has always been a dying breed
But he takes his dying slowly, perched upon his steed."
kite Blue Sparx Gems: 987
#46233 Posted: 05:19:52 20/06/2021
Quote: StormDragon21
Quote: kite
Haven't been on DS in a week bc I've been on data.
I want to like...start interacting with people? I'm shy tho and obv you know who has ****ed with my trust a bit more but I'll get better about it



Wait... so I’m not the only person who can’t get darkSpyro to work on data?


derpy was the one who told me it wouldn't and lo and behold it just says the place doesn't exist. Poof. Gone

edited to add an actual PT but how do some people go through lives knowing they're assholes? Like how is that an identity to be proud of
---
case closed
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 05:30:49 20/06/2021 by kite
Iceclaw Hunter Gems: 10260
#46234 Posted: 00:18:19 21/06/2021
I get so full of love for my friends
---
Twinkies and 2hus
spyro and sonic Diamond Sparx Gems: 8325
#46235 Posted: 02:38:35 21/06/2021
Quote: spyro and sonic
I'm booooooooooored. this ****ing sucks.


I'm still bored. this still ****ing sucks. someone give me something to do.
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#46236 Posted: 03:08:58 21/06/2021
I seriously can't get a grip on my emotions, and this week really hit me where it hurt. Please let this week be better, please-.
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
Metallo Platinum Sparx Gems: 6419
#46237 Posted: 23:56:36 23/06/2021
Quote: Drednaw
you need to be humbled again, little man. maybe losing her will make you do that.



I lost my water bottle and that humbled me for a bit
kite Blue Sparx Gems: 987
#46238 Posted: 01:20:38 24/06/2021
If you're reading this, you know who you are, I wish you'd choke. I know you probably still check up on us, on here, and I want you to know from the bottom of my heart I hate your ****ing guts. Hope your happy with the knowledge that since that day it all hit the fan he hasn't been the same, you've set him back god knows how long in his recovery with your manipulation. We'll get better, but as it stands I wouldn't piss on you if your were burning at this point.

I wont sit here and let it be that you ruined my fiance. You piece of ****.
---
case closed
Eevee88 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4607
#46239 Posted: 06:32:43 24/06/2021
Finally. It took you long enough. Maybe now I can actually feel better. Or maybe this is one of the times where I feel like garbage. Who knows! I sure don't.


I hope I don't get a panic attack when getting this COVID Vaccine. The other one was fine, just cried. Didn't sob. But man I hate shots.
---
Heading out, my liege? A commission, I presume? Then I shall accompany you. Just...ah, allow me to indulge in one more chapter...
DragonCamo Platinum Sparx Gems: 6692
#46240 Posted: 20:19:54 26/06/2021
I feel terrible, I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel things I didn’t think I’d be able to feel. Is this what depression is? I can barely get out of bed, if I eat it’s a victory, showers seem like a marathon, and even just responding to people is exhausting. I feel alone, but I don’t want to talk to people. When I talk to friends I feel like I just complain or they don’t want to hear what I have to say. Talking about how work is going to ****, how my mental health is down the drain, how the stress is eating me leaving nothing behind, and everytime I think “they don’t care why am I telling people this” I need to see a therapist but I don’t even know where to start and that “toxic masculinity” part of me is still embarrassed and scared to even try. I feel like I’m cutting ties with everything, everything I had at the beginning of 2020 is gone, and even things I had at the beginning of 2021 are gone. What’s happening, why is this happening, why do I not have the energy to stop it


Didn’t think I’d ever post here again but I guess frantically venting onto a purple dragon forum full of people who knew you when you aggressively shipped Hunger Games characters together is kind of soothing.
---
Gay 4 GARcher
Strawberry15 Yellow Sparx Gems: 1957
#46241 Posted: 05:57:30 27/06/2021
Life is so much easier when I'm not constantly being a soggy jerk to everybody
TheFlyingSeal Diamond Sparx Gems: 8572
#46242 Posted: 19:16:06 28/06/2021
[User Posted Image]

DAY 20! GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 20!
---
#CynderIsAFireDragon
kite Blue Sparx Gems: 987
#46243 Posted: 04:28:27 29/06/2021
Man this month has been a trip. It feels like it's been 4 months.
---
case closed
Spyro Fanatic Hunter Gems: 12293
#46244 Posted: 14:22:41 01/07/2021
Knowing a potential employee’s chauvinistic history and deciding to employ him in a female dominated workplace? Great ****ing job.
---
R.I.P. Ra
June 16th 2000 ~ May 3rd 2017
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