darkSpyro

hmmmm i'm not sure about this, but i tend to be hesitant about everything

Im just reading into things, i shouldnt be so upset about this why am i so upset about this i hate being like this

Can 2021 be better than 2020, we cannot live like that forever, sure I’m at home safe in my games, books and watching shows on TV and streaming services....but I want to stop hearing everyday about 1000 cases per day anytime the news air, that Christmas will be different this year, that it will never be normal again, this endless pessimism is painful to hear even if I’m not directly suffering it but my ears does.

of course this was obvious to everyone except for me...

is that why no one bothered to tell me?

seems to be a trend in my life

jedi business, go back to your drinks

The rules around Christmas sound downright inhumane, I know why they do it but still 14 days of confinement before and after, no new year party to kick 2020 diseased form away to save 2021, I’m not that social but to only have Internet to speak with others is harsh and my parents even if I live with them won’t be as fun, but well hope 2021 is better than that.

love that we're moving in the middle of a COVID-19 spike.

none of us are strong enough to quickly get all of our objects into our new place, either.

well, that's what being poor and strange is like, isn't it?

Cross that one off the bucket list
"being stood up by a date"
----
Turns out it was my bad with a communication error. We're setting up a new date

Quote: spyro and sonic

October was overall a really good month for me and I hope November is the same.

so far so good. mostly.

Hey, anyone, if there are online games you play ask...I’m lonely

open offer for anyone to come and brutally murder me, i know you want to

Wow I am really feeling that cocktail of anger confusion and overall sus feeling. Then again it could be me having a bit of a weird month overall.

oop let's not act up

All things considered, 2020, pandemic aside, was not that bad, a more boring year with not much happening sure but not the garbage fire I might have feared atleast not on my side(except my father getting wounded in a bike accident). Soon the vaccine will come even if I despise needles and light will shine brighter than ever as it mean hope still remain...however that fic is hopeless as being in french with no french fandom left, no one can read it to give me comments or reviews so I can improve on it and see what might not work that well.

man this last about 48 hours havent been bad but i can totally feel that depression lurking around the corner and im super not digging it

**** **** **** ****

why can't i handle noises??

ok, i know why, but unfortunately it's not really helping me handle them

I wish I could just sleep through the next month and wake up at the start of 2021.

---

I know it's harmless to most people, but I'm not most people. It's actively getting harder to handle and I don't need anything else to remind me of that.. Especially today. Please stop.

That awkward feeling when no matter what, you can’t find a satisfying explanation to your own story and will need to drastically change it...but the french side of the Spyro fandom seem dead so I have no one to talk to and discuss ideas or get feedbacks, reviews or comments on the chapters. Also, I have no idea how my main villain can be Malefor’s mate at all.

hhhhh im dreading tomorrow

_____

This is a joke, right?

Man people have got to start speaking up when there's an issue

weekend already??

Sometimes when **** makes sense, but is still not okay.

(Disclaimer: not about a vain mook, just me going to complain about game mechanics)

Everything is falling apart and I want to go back to familiar things but just because i miss it doesnt change that it wasnt healthy for me.

Loneliness is my curse and I have no idea why, what do I do wrong, what chase people away and make them ignore me, I do my best but it's never enough, everything go wrong all the time, roleplay, a disaster with barely anyone interested and getting pretty much told that they wanted me to start from scratch to the in name only level because for them my characters were never interesting.

cool!

(irl)


you always give me mixed feelings. you're being friendly, but it's only a facade. i almost believed in you again yesterday, but you couldn't hide your true colors.

some day... some day i'll never have to interact with you again. i'd like to trust you, but at this point, i don't expect you to change.

Well it looks like I'll be moving for the first time in about 5 years. I don't really know how to feel about this. I know it's inevitable and all but it feels like it's too soon in my opinion. I do know it'll be for the better for you and I because the current situation is not working out anymore. It will sadly be a close for you and a new start for me. I love you, and I hope you spend the rest of your days wherever you go happy. I don't want to see you suffer here anymore. I hope this move will build a foundation for me on what I want to do in the future, or at least be somewhere temporary that will help me enough to finish school.

i was joking before but maybe this path IS for me

Quote: willspyro

Well it looks like I'll be moving for the first time in about 5 years. I don't really know how to feel about this. I know it's inevitable and all but it feels like it's too soon in my opinion. I do know it'll be for the better for you and I because the current situation is not working out anymore. It will sadly be a close for you and a new start for me. I love you, and I hope you spend the rest of your days wherever you go happy. I don't want to see you suffer here anymore. I hope this move will build a foundation for me on what I want to do in the future, or at least be somewhere temporary that will help me enough to finish school.

And as per usual, it may not happen as soon as it is said it would. But just like what Thanos said. It's inevitable.

how does one feel better about life when they're super depressed? asking for me

That weird moment when there’s so little you can do...you decide to mess around with Divinity Original Sin 2(well, for roleplay, I need forums and my fic don’t seem to work and more is increasingly discovered that make no sense with canon)

How do I explain that people are being assholes without yelling? Literally my most difficult question. Mostly because god dealt me a hand of the most stubborn, blunt, and dip****ted ****ers I have seen. With that bluntness growing on me like a mold. I hate having to explain how some folks come off as a major dictator dick lord, because most of the time it's adults that actually should be a lot more careful with their choices and tones. I'm no saint in that regard but holy **** imagine:

-Telling me to get rid of my desk because it cannot fit in the house

-Being pissed at me for being sick and unable to unpack to your own accords (which was ****ing idiotic in the first place. Unpacking outside with no donate boxes until asked... What is this? A reality **** show? Think ya funny?)

-Effectively disabling me from unpacking because you refuse to help me replace my ****ing desk you basically made me the final the decision of getting rid of. (yeah stim 2 is not really happening and neither is commissions or jobs dip****. Thank your damn politicians they're all ****.)

-OH SHOULD WE ADD RIDDING OTHER FURNITURE OF MINE AND MANAGING TO BREAK MY ****? (Yeah you guys replaced the dresser and said some things are replaceable but hmmm didn't replace my desk yet. Unfortunately my old art **** is not replaceable either, luckily not broken, but cannot get rid of because who wants old ass art from a nobody artist? Especially from middle school)

-Then raising your voice at me a injured and sick person

-Then probably going to be a guilt trippy ****er even though you did a lot of bull**** that was in fact unwarranted bull****. Going "oh I didn't know that's how you felt". Like ***** if I dropped how I felt it would turn physical, how do you think people feel when you dog them? Pissed off I would imagine.

Yeah no, no wonder I'm a broad ass *****. If I can keep track records of ya bull**** and you forget, either are you are so dumb that it's criminal or you're straight up a *****. I am fully aware I am far from clean but at least I can dish out dragging some ass out in the light, just don't have the mental stability or patience to remain civil in such bull****. As well as notice what I have done is ****ing dumb and can write an actual paragraph on why it's dumb. People don't have to accept an apology and I get that. I just leave it there. At least it has closure of some kind.
=====================

Sorry to go off on a tangent and basically yelling at myself to out in the world here. I'm just so ****ing done with people being more... "Special" (refraining from using certain slurs. Is there more words for dumb people? Running out here) in the intelligence department than a actual person with Asperger's. How do some people think this is okay and then treat me the dumbass when I see their dumbassery on full display?

People would call me too nice, but i'll keep giving people chances. i can't not. it's just how i am

feeling really energetic. too energetic. i need to make sure i don't do anything too wild.

ugh. it's either not enough energy or too much ;___;

-sigh-

One year.

Christmas have been officially declared cancelled in my province(Quebec), atleast I have my parents and I do have the gifts I wanted, but I will need to depend on online a lot to compense as discussion and doing fun stuff with parents is kinda limited.

Quote: fyra

Christmas have been officially declared cancelled

i wish

I need to be more social. Today has been really pleasant despite the happenings and I would love to start keeping it up!

tomorrow is going to be a lot

i miss rping

I have to wait for a reboot of a rp forum to get done and asked for a Discord roleplay group to get made as every single roleplay forums are dead, also for the whole Christmas is cancelled, it just mean no party or being able to meet anyone that is not at the same address, you can do something small with those that do live with you(I have my parents) I do hope though that the vaccine come soon(supposed to be next year) so we can finally turn that rotten, infected page of that tumultuous period, be able to go to cinemas, watch shows, meet each other, go to restaurants, get hyped on news with various events.

That day will eventually come no matter what pessimists say(the pandemic will NOT last forever and I will never believe anyone who say that as that’s a synonym of saying we will all die, so don’t do that, hope is eternal and will prevail) and I expect to hear about in the news that huge celebrations are happening, heartwarming stories of people separated by the lockdown rules finally being able to be in the flesh with each other again, no mask, no social distanciation, fireworks in the sky, until then I will live in hope of seeing that day arrive, I can’t believe my life end at 25 years old, that the lockdown can last forever and neither should any of you.

Even in the darkest of time, there is always hope
Remember that as light will eventually pierce the darkest of night
2021 will be our savior, the dawn of a new era even if tarnished by what we may cope
The night may be dark and full of terrors but it’s not over
As even a virus won’t break us down forever

i am epic