darkSpyro

you are constantly full but still need to eat to survive

i wish i could get a job i want

you get the job you want, but the whole economic system is rearranged so that working in and of itself is useless

i wish i had more time on my hands

Granted, but now you're just holding a bunch of clocks and watches

i wish it was 2010 again

granted, but you still have to suffer through a global pandemic

i wish i could talk to all the animals and live in the forest

Granted, but you can no longer speak any human language

I wish I could summon the tub of ice cream I want that's in the freezer up to my room right now without having to move

Granted, you summon the tub itself, not the ice cream.

I wish my luck was better.

Granted, but your luck consists of only finding 4 leaf clovers

I wish Card B didn't exist

Granted, however, as the grantor did not know what that is, all card based games cease to exist as well.

I wish for an answer to the question "Was our galaxy a quasar in the past?"

granted, but the question is answered in a language you'll never understand

I wish more people would play this game

Granted, but so many people play it that it gets over-saturated to the point that people hate it.

I wish public duels were legal and socially acceptable again.

granted but they're exclusively yu-gi-oh duels

i wish i had a portal

granted, you get one portal. but for a portal to work, you need two. so haha

i wish for a good sonic game

you get a good sonic game but its not published by sega and gets taken down via copyright strike a week later

i wish for no more wishes for ANYONE. we're ending this here

Quote: Vespi

you get a good sonic game but its not published by sega and gets taken down via copyright strike a week later

i wish for no more wishes for ANYONE. we're ending this here

granted, someone named anyone can no longer make wishes

i wish pokemon sword and shield had functioning shiny odds

granted, but they're so incredibly high that shinies are no longer interesting or valuable

i wish i had an animal that i could take everywhere

granted but it’s a pet rock

i wish wish wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart

there is no way i can corrupt such a wish

i wish i could switch my hearing on and off

granted, but when you turn your hearing off, all your other senses shut down for a full week

i wish i had some good toast right about now

you're allowed to feed the pigeons but they grow enormous and begin to feed on you

i wish i could stop drinking so much soda all of the time

you stop drinking soda, but forget about other beverages

i wish i could read minds

granted. have fun with the deafening noise in your skull of reading every single sentient mind in the planet at once

i wish for a wet trout to get slappin with

Wish granted but the trout will be too rotten so good swinging motion will be disabled.



I wish to be virtuoso electric guitar player.

you are the greatest electric guitar player ever now but you play so many shows to the point of exhaustion that you now hate the electric guitar

i wish that i was able to be more open to talking about the things that are really important to me

Wish granted but the discussions about the important issues will consume all of your time and you'll eventually realize that all there is to your life is just that.

I wish I was a billionaire.

granted, but the more established billionaires take your wealth before you can do anything with it.

i wish to go to the beach

Granted, but it's cloudy and everything's covered in dead seaweed.

I wish I had a superpower

granted. you can explode once and then you die. have fun :^)

i wish for more popcorn

granted but there's no salt, butter, or toppings of any kind

i wish for clarity

that’s how i like it >:^)

granted. enjoy your free itunes copy of Clarity (ft. Foxes) by Zedd

i wish for calorie free ice cream

Wish granted but it is also ice cream that has no nutritional value at all and therefore every delicious serving of it you eat, more riddled with malnutrition your body becomes.

I wish to be 4 inches taller.

Granted, the top part of your skull gets 4 inches taller, so now you have a dumb looking forehead.

I wish I would finally get my Shiny Manaphy.

you get shiny manaphy, but everyone thinks you hacked it into the game.

i wish that i could tame a tiger and keep it as a pet.

jokes on you, everyone will think it’s hacked anyway!

Granted, but the cost of raising a tiger is very expensive so it’s unviable to keep it.

I wish for a well paying, very easy job.

granted but it's boring

i wish coronavirus never BLOODY EXISTED

granted, but we still have to go through the rest of the difficult stuff that has happened this year.

i wish everyone could have nice childhoods.

granted, but childhood lasted 5 years

i wish i could fly

granted, but you grow giant, gross-looking wings, which scare everyone away from you

i wish i could feel this energetic forever

Granted, but the downside depends on how much energy you have at the moment;
-high energy means that you’ll suffer from insomnia, and your eyes will barely be able to stay open without being able to sleep. also, you probably won’t be able to relax often
-medium energy will have you in a constant state of “yeah, this is ok.” getting motivated for larger tasks will be harder
-low energy will just be torture

I wish for a cool hat.

huzzah! the gods have gifted you a legendary relic of infinite power; the Inverse MAGA Hat. blue with black text, it reads “KEEP RUSSIA MEDIOCRE NEVER”. wearing this hat grants the power to instantly decide the winner of any future elections, from something as small as what you and your roommates get for dinner to who the next prime minister will be half the world away.

but for every election you magically rig, something goes horribly wrong with it. you and your roommates wanted wendys? you get home and only your meal was missing from the bag. that prime minister you elected? the leader of the next global fascist regime and instigator of a nuclear holocaust. also everyone thinks you look extra stupid wearing it

have fun, chum!

- - -
i wish for a good nights sleep and proper awakening at the right time

Granted - the days however are forever horrible and suck for you

I wish for the ability to make my own bread flawlessly

you can make bread flawlessly! unfortunately, you have become gluten intolerant

i wish i had healing/regeneration powers