darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > Personal Thoughts
Gharlant
Green Sparx
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#43651 Posted: 16:39:48 29/04/2019
I remember when I used to think "It's stupid to be sad around the anniversary of an unpleasant event. It's a new year, that's in the past". Now I know what this feels like and I feel a little silly. I wonder if these feelings will culminate into something on that day and I will do something awful? Or will these feelings slowly fade as?
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ThunderEgg
Emerald Sparx
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#43652 Posted: 17:39:15 29/04/2019
i know youre from a different culture but loud chewing is EXTREMELY irritating ________
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I AM ETERNAL! https://i.imgur.com/8H3ij0j.png (banner by skylandersfan60) |
Dark Lord
Platinum Sparx
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#43653 Posted: 19:42:17 29/04/2019
Maybe the caring would show more if I were erased...? I probably wouldn't be able to see it if it's unknown what happens next but... I feel like I should erase myself. I don't deserve what I have...
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Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice... |
Riolu-Blue-247
Diamond Sparx
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#43654 Posted: 09:19:23 01/05/2019
Should I be proud? No one is looking. It's not that good is it. I shouldnt be proud. Am I allowed to be happy? Am I allowed to look forward to things? Am I? -- It's my fault, it has to be my fault because I didn't fight hard enough. I wasn't loud enough. I just lay there and took it so it's my fault. I still feel repulsed by my own body, your hands, your breath, your touch has tainted me forever and I still cry years later after all that has happened. You taught me to do this, I was young, I didn't know I could say no. I just accepted it. I pretended to be someone that wasn't me. I let my mind wander far away with your body pressed against mine. You were to insistent, and so much stronger than me. I couldn't fight. It was my fault, I didn't fight. I'll never be clean, but it's my fault so I have to accept it. It's my fault, so I have to wear the marks on my heart.
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I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on |
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 09:33:35 01/05/2019 by Riolu-Blue-247
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Samius
Hunter
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#43655 Posted: 12:26:15 01/05/2019
My contempt for people with drug problems continues to grow. It's one of those few things that anger me very easily.
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Metallo
Platinum Sparx
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#43656 Posted: 15:57:19 01/05/2019
Quote: Samius
As the son of a former addict, it's a struggle. Do I remember the damage my mother's addiction did to me, to our family, growing up? Does it hurt like hell? Absolutely. Do I still feel angry at her sometimes? You bet. In many ways, she robbed me of a healthy childhood. But - do I also remember the work she put in to get clean, and how she actually succeeded? Do I remember how much better her life and mine have been since then, and how much my future brightened when she got clean for good? Every day. Every single day. I know I get really heated about a lot of things - and I mean heated - so maybe I'm the last person who should be talking about this, but no matter how angry I get at people, I always, always always believe in second chances. Or third. Or fourth. Or, when it comes to this particular topic, however many it takes to get things right. Addicts deserve compassion, not contempt. I know firsthand that contempt makes things a hundred times worse. No matter how much I struggle with my own anger, I know that it was compassion that finally allowed my mom to get clean, and I'll defend that to my dying breath. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 15:58:02 01/05/2019 by Metallo
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Project_Unnamed
Prismatic Sparx
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#43657 Posted: 18:12:02 01/05/2019
I screwed up again, didn't I?
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I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course. |
Samius
Hunter
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#43658 Posted: 18:26:39 01/05/2019
Quote: Metallo
They deserve no such thing, no matter how much you regard addiction as a horrible affliction. It's not that I don't wish they got clean or that I didn't regard them as human beings same as me. I have concern for them, but I do not have compassion for them. They suffer, but they are not victims. One of my great-grandfathers was an alcoholic, and in my mind possibly one of the few examples of more respectable addicts that I know of, since neither I nor anyone else ever saw him drunk or aggressive in his old age. I do not have compassion for him though, I've heard too many stories of him trying to kill his own children with a shotgun in a drunken rage when he was younger. One of my mother's cousins is an alcoholic, and he killed his own brother while drunk. He did his time and has since continued to distance himself from his family and kept drinking. Because of that I've never know him or his brother, and I do not have compassion for him. My grandfather is an alcoholic, as was his father. I've known him come up with lies and excuses in order to get his daughters to fund his addiction more times than I've known him to call my mother while sober. Their compassion for him has only led him to try to manipulate them, and any and all promises to try to get help -sincere or otherwise- have ended in failure and disappointment despite any outside support that he received. He is my grandfather and I care about him, but I do not have compassion for him for what he has done to himself and to his children. One of my cousins is a drug addict. He is younger than me so I remember him from his birth, and since he was a teenager he seems to have been on a continuous secret quest to try to get high off of any and all narcotic substances that he could get his hands on. He has been through more than several suicide attempts, all of them while drunk or high, and some of which would've been successful were it not for the completely coincidental and lucky interference of people who care about him. His own mother has saved his life more than twice now. He has access to any help he could possibly need to get by -all of it completely free-, but he doesn't want it. He makes promises to get clean, and the next day he is high again, spasming and nearly unconscious, being shipped off to a hospital. He had a son born to him this year. He had told us that he would straighten himself out, and then tried to kill himself while the mother was still pregnant. They broke up afterwards, and no wonder. He didn't attend when the kid was christened and he gave up his rights to see his own child and to make decisions about his upbringing. He merely continues to lie to the faces of all the people who only want to save his damn life, and keeps getting ******* high. He is my cousin and obviously I care about him, but I do not, will not, and indeed could not ever have compassion for him. I would like it if any person with a drug problem got clean, but not because I don't think they deserve anything but contempt for their actions. No-one who ever swallowed an amphetamine pill had it grow wings and fly down their throat unbidden. No husband who ever got drunk and hit their wife had some devil grab them by their hands and make it happen. These people do it themselves, despite their altered state of mind. Such disregard of responsibility is simply infuriating. Anyway, I'm sure you can see the point that I'm trying to make. I'll just stop now before my ranting turns completely incoherent. |
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 18:30:01 01/05/2019 by Samius
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Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
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#43659 Posted: 00:26:10 02/05/2019
Quote: Metallo
I'm really glad your mother got clean. mine didn't and still isn't. (((: ----- |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43660 Posted: 01:25:40 02/05/2019
Please let me into this school I want to see her face everyday again
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Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
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#43661 Posted: 02:42:35 02/05/2019
im gonna post in every topic on this page so u can all come back to a nice active board xx
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Iceclaw
Hunter
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#43662 Posted: 02:44:23 02/05/2019
The more I see you post the more I see you really don't seem like a caring person at all
To think there was a point where I looked up to you
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Twinkies and 2hus |
Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
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#43663 Posted: 02:44:55 02/05/2019
^that looks like it was aimed at me but is it?
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Iceclaw
Hunter
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#43664 Posted: 03:26:01 02/05/2019
Quote: Jaggedstar
No omg ! I'm sorry if it seemed that way.
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Twinkies and 2hus |
Jaggedstar
Diamond Sparx
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#43665 Posted: 03:28:47 02/05/2019
Quote: Iceclaw
Hahaha don't be sorry!! I'm sorry-I'll leave you to your personal thoughts ![]() |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43666 Posted: 04:42:16 02/05/2019
So much in common damn
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Trix Master 100
Diamond Sparx
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#43667 Posted: 06:08:16 02/05/2019
Hey guy just wondering, were you lurking the whole time or did you decide to come back because "bah they don't know me"? Either way ****ing sad. I might not be subtle with this
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If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest icon from Empoh |
Riolu-Blue-247
Diamond Sparx
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#43668 Posted: 08:18:08 02/05/2019
I hope sleeping well helps. I'm coming apart and I want it to stop.
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I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on |
Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43669 Posted: 15:35:53 02/05/2019
i got this, i hope
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
DragonCamo
Platinum Sparx
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#43670 Posted: 18:56:26 02/05/2019
Hi I’m DragonCamo and I work a full time position where my shifts usually consist of 7am-3:30pm and I just took up a Part-time position where my shifts are 4-9/10
help me
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Gay 4 GARcher |
Trix Master 100
Diamond Sparx
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#43671 Posted: 22:05:16 02/05/2019
Mom I think you heard me say worst things than the C word. I don't get why it is so bad compared to all the other jokes that I make that would make a nun turn white.
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If you cannot handle me at my pumpkin spiciest, you do not deserve me at my pumpkin sweetest icon from Empoh |
kardonis
Platinum Sparx
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#43672 Posted: 22:48:04 02/05/2019
This isn't getting easier, this isn't hurting less.
I gave you a chance. I hoped everything would be better, and what do you do? Refer to me as all sorts of offensive and derogatory terms, and make me genuinely fear the time I have to even be near you.
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I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl |
Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43673 Posted: 05:20:12 03/05/2019
![]() - - -
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
Bolt
Hunter
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#43674 Posted: 23:30:05 03/05/2019
Quote: Metallo
This is a little late, but I just want to thank you, Jeremy. As you know, my sister is struggling with addiction ... I haven't spoken about it much online lately, but she's still being a bloody handful, just coming and going. She just came back to my dad's yesterday. I told my mum what you said, about addicts being deserving of compassion, because I wholeheartedly believe that, and she went over to see my sister this morning and gave her a hug and told her that she still loves her, despite everything. My sister has gotten worse again in the past few weeks, and my family have taken it really hard on her, so I think she really needed this compassion from my mum. (also this morning before work, i did the dishes and let her take credit for it to make my dad happier with her, so i hope he'll stop being so mad with her now too) Because seriously, if you treat addicts like **** with no compassion and no hope that they'll better themselves, they'll just continue thinking they're **** and they never get better. Thank you Jeremy. I hope this helps her some. ;; |
Metallo
Platinum Sparx
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#43675 Posted: 03:34:48 04/05/2019
Quote: Bolt
I'm very glad to hear that. Don't lose hope. |
ThunderEgg
Emerald Sparx
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#43676 Posted: 04:29:08 04/05/2019
Oh, I'm gonna ask so many questions when I go to this meeting. I'll have to ignore the person if they get annoyed, because I really need to know these things. Hopefully it'll clear up everything so I know what I need to do next.
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I AM ETERNAL! https://i.imgur.com/8H3ij0j.png (banner by skylandersfan60) |
Spyroboy
Prismatic Sparx
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#43677 Posted: 04:23:03 06/05/2019
Pineapple does go on pizza.
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「恋愛なんてだっさー‼ヤングは迷わずテクノブレイク一択でしょ‼」 |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43678 Posted: 04:28:15 06/05/2019
You're dead to me
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84skylanderdude
Platinum Sparx
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#43679 Posted: 06:15:24 06/05/2019
It’s now officially been a year since we broke up
I’m really never getting over this at this point am I
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“No one knows what the outcome will be. So, as much as you can, choose whatever you'll regret the least.” - Levi Ackerman |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43680 Posted: 21:36:42 06/05/2019
If this doesn't pull threw I'm ****ed I tell you
4 years ****ing wasted |
Gharlant
Green Sparx
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#43681 Posted: 17:35:18 07/05/2019
I wonder when I got into the habit of writing messages to nobody.
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43682 Posted: 19:43:40 07/05/2019
the more i think about it, the past year or so really has been an awakening for me
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43683 Posted: 04:21:27 08/05/2019
Choking
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Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43684 Posted: 14:50:24 08/05/2019
youre LITERALLY just a whiny, petulant child
how about you try not to be a total edgelord for 5 minutes?
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
Riolu-Blue-247
Diamond Sparx
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#43685 Posted: 20:45:59 08/05/2019
i know im always going to be replaced by someone, not matter how hard i try so why bother anymore its too early for this
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I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on |
Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43686 Posted: 06:06:17 09/05/2019
![]() this applies to so many people tonight
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
Carmelita Fox
Prismatic Sparx
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#43687 Posted: 17:29:51 09/05/2019
listen bro, you need to chill the heck out, nobody here is judging you as harshly as you do yourself. you can't force yourself to leave, it never works.
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HeyitsHotDog
Diamond Sparx
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#43688 Posted: 23:18:53 09/05/2019
The more I think about it, the more I believe that I'm actually quite comfortable with myself. I don't have much that I dislike about myself, if anything at all. When I'm happy, I'm genuinely happy. I never feel the need to put on a mask and pretend that I am just so others won't get concerned. I have my pros and I have my cons, but that's OK. That's what makes me, me. I can be impulsive, shy, anxious and a bit lazy, but that stuff has lessened over the years. I've grown into a better me. I love to make people laugh, feel good, and smile. I like to think I'm kind, a good person, funny and attractive, and based on how I interact with people, and how they react to me, I am.
I am happy with who I am, and 100% confident that happiness will grow as I live. Are there things I would want to change about myself? Absolutely, but in the end, I guess I can. And if I can't, that's OK. Anything that makes me unhappy right now, it's rarely because of something about myself. It's always something outside of my control, something that probably won't be an issue I'll deal with on 5 years (Give or take a few) And through out our lives, we all grow. We learn from our mistakes and from each other. And I learn every day. I have a plethora of passions and interest, all are ways to make me smile, and some day truly invest in, and hopefully, in things go the way I'd like them to, help others who need it.
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Hey is there anything you want me to bring for the rest of the week and if so it’s so cool that you can do something and just do it like that |
Edited 2 times - Last edited at 12:41:51 10/05/2019 by HeyitsHotDog
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hardcoreignitor
Gold Sparx
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#43689 Posted: 00:26:04 10/05/2019
christ on a bike
i keep rereading my old posts circa 2012, and i hate that i was "that kid" for so long i know i've said this before, but again, to anyone that knew me as the 11-13 year old kid with the personality of a gnat, i'm really ****ing sorry i'm a lot better now, but i'll never be 100% over the fact that i used to treat the people here like **** because i felt like i didn't fit in anywhere else and just wanted friends but hey, that was over 5 years ago. most of those people are long gone from here. i just wish they knew that i'm sorry.
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nyeheheheheh hey lois, i’m dustah from mudda 3 |
JCW555
Hunter
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#43690 Posted: 00:28:13 10/05/2019
Welcome back HI. Long time no see.
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You gotta believe! Heh heh. |
Vespi
Gold Sparx
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#43691 Posted: 01:44:39 10/05/2019
i wish i didnt feel emotion
itd make everyones lives a whole lot better
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(✿≧▽≦)>> ☆ |
willspyro Ripto Gems: 5862 |
#43692 Posted: 02:50:33 10/05/2019
I have a whole lot of hope now
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