god i just. im losing my mind. im too disabled to get a job but not disabled ENOUGH to qualify for disability checks. the only jobs i could reasonably do (that dont require labor) require experience... and i cant get that experience because i dont have the ability to do basic physical labor which is involved in most entry level jobs. im sure ill find something and everything will work out just fine but its annoying as all hell
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 03:34:38 06/04/2019 by HotDogAndZap
looking back at my old posts on this site is a legit nostalgia trip i keep having old 'nam flashbacks omg like i'm literally in tears why am i legit tearing up oof
looking back at my old posts on this site is a legit nostalgia trip i keep having old 'nam flashbacks omg like i'm literally in tears why am i legit tearing up oof
its not like i was already stressed as hell for the coming week anyways, guess ill do it on my own... like always...
i really dont think ive felt more distant to a lot of people in my life than i do right now
i swear, sometimes it doesnt even feel like i have friends
and every time i try to get better, it gets hindered in some way
at least im doing better with my girlfriend and family
anyways if anyone contacts me about this or anything, ill... idk... get really really mad or something (nothing can stop you BUT WHATEVER)
Don't mind me I'm just jumping to conclusions and making an idiot of myself again. Sometimes i think im losing my mind again. Im taking my medicine but im still slipping again i think
if anything, that just made me more resolute
im never going to be that selfish. im never going to hurt someone like that. ill never try it again, ever. period.
i matter to people, whether my brain wants to recognize that or not
sometimes i get annoyed when good aesthetic or art blogs constantly post about how gay they are. yes, i get it, you're gay. please find an identity outside of your sexuality. my friends are basically all straight. they never parade about how straight they are. im (probably) bi and i never mention how bi i am to my friends. people i care about know this, they don't need a constant reminder about my sexuality, okay? it just makes you a bland person.
everyone online is just so negative, they complain about everything, they talk about their "identity" and self diagnose themselves. everyone has adhd because no one has an attention span that lasts more than three minutes. everyone tries to find a problem with themselves to feel special. people have "auditory processing problems" because they experience that extremely common thing where it can take your brain a moment to process what someone has said to you. it happens to everyone, it's not just you.
bloody, at this point i think i might have to leave the internet, or certain places at the least. social media is crap, and everyone just talks about crap. "im gay!" "you're not immune to propaganda!" "eat the rich!" "terfs"
at this point, i actually favour facebook because my friends and family are not like this. and thank goodness they're not like this.
i hate certain men : ^ )
they have been causing too many problems in our lives lately, just because they can't handle a woman in power, or god forbid a woman standing up to them (this is about two particular men, one causing problems for me, and one for a friend of mine). and both like to sexualise women in art. ughhhh ><; 凸
im done talking about things i enjoy with people
its really obvious no one gives a ****, so fine, ill shut up
you guys wont hear anything out of me like that ever again. im done.
it's reached the point i don't even care anymore
i've accepted that who i am is fundamentally flawed and america wants me dead
what are they gonna do? not like me some more?
i really do not care anymore
might as well go all out unlikeable
I told a lot about myself last night infront of my mother, i hate feeling like she knows more about me but i have a feeling she wont try to remember it because it was about me being anxious about everything and how that feels.I hope she doesnt retain the information.
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
i feel like you always argue for the opposing side in everything because you're still just an edgy teenager and think its cool to hate everything and disagree with everyone
Sometimes I wonder "What if?"; but then I get my thoughts together and like to convince myself that this solution was the best for the situation. Do I miss the times and the moments? Oh yes, I do. But to know how you've been moving on and achieving things in life is something that makes me day by day more assured that the decision we made was right one. Getting over this has been rather difficult process but I feel better and I hope you feel better and maybe someday we are able to communicate again like a decent human beings once more. Thank you.
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.