darkSpyro

i'm mentally and physically exhausted, depression is kicking the hell out of me, i dunno how much longer i can fight this.

i dunno what to do or when to do it...

****, why do I still have thoughts of wanting people to like me? That’s so ****ing selfish of me. I’m a horrible person. I wish I could just get rid of these awful thoughts and stay away from everyone. My emotions of wanting to be social just won’t match up with my logic of avoiding others as much as I can to stay out of their way. I need to stop. I need to do everything I can to remove myself from the lives of others, as minimal as that is already.

i cant be scared of this anymore, i have to do it and i have to do it perfectly

jeez okay way to be a ***** about it
sometimes i wonder why im even friends with you because half the time it feels like youre just using me emotionally

do you ever actually listen to me or are you that obsessed with roleplaying a squid

Would I really be happier if I embraced this? Or would it just create way way more trouble? I mean, I've been holding it off as long as I have, and I don't want to risk losing everything.

I wish I was just... comfortable. If I told anyone what I'm feeling, I doubt they'd believe me. I'm even doubting myself and at war with what's really going on, and unfortunately with this kind of thing, only I can figure this one out. It must be worth talking about this to someone who knows this sort of thing though, you don't just wonder and have these feelings for like 5 years for nothing. I get scared that maybe I tricked my mind to behave like this, but then I remember my dumb attitudes towards this kind of thing from before... and even then I had these feelings, I just tried my hardest to push them away at the time. Technically I've felt like this since forever.

I would talk about this with someone close, but with this kinda thing, you just can't say 'I think this is going on' and then do a 360 and go back because you realise that you were wrong, that's horrible. You'd have to be pretty sure. And with me, it's hard to be 'pretty sure' with things.

you absolute piece of ****. i can not believe you. you throw away our entire history together as best friends because you got a new girlfriend that requires all of your time and energy. when’s the last time you texted me? when’s the last time you even responded to any of the many messages ive sent you? today was the first time in the last 2 weeks since summer started thay anyone has even heard from you except your precious princess, who you’ve hung out with like 5 times now? and we finally hear from you and all you have to say to your friend that has to put his ****ing dog down soon is “oh i didn’t know that was even an actual breed” before completely disappearing like our friend isn’t really upset. i swear to god, if it were not for our friend’s poor state of mind i would roast the everlicing **** out of you. tonight really showed how much you truthfully care about anyone other than yourself and your relationship that is doomed to fail. infatuation is not love, and 6 months of infatuation is toxic and will inevitably lead to obsession, and then it’ll all crash down on you. and don’t be surprised when your “best friends” don’t take you back right away because you threw us away once you found someone to stroke your dick so you didn’t have to. i regret doing as much for you as i did. **** you.

i can do it this time around
i only messed up by one question, and now i have even more knowledge than before, both on the material and how it will be given
i can do this... hopefully

i sincerely hope you didn't get hurt and you're alright.

if you EVER speak to me like that again, ill come to virginia and break your hands myself you cocky ****stain