darkSpyro

Part of me really is fine with me being single, mostly because the kids make sex jokes in my school

Anybody here? ...No?

Eh, whatever. I like being alone. Nobody can complain about me then.

I hope there's a jukebox here. I wanna play Sonata Arctica at full volume.

I’m at the corner table, near unconscious, laughing at the suckers who attach themselves to others.

Okay. So I'm in here with a maniac who won't stop laughing, and therefore not alone.

...

*takes out gun*

A gun huh?

Wanna go and shoot up some lovebirds? We'll line 'em up, maybe see how many we can get done with one bullet.

Quote: AmbushFan

Wanna go and shoot up some lovebirds? We'll line 'em up, maybe see how many we can get done with one bullet.

Sounds like fun

I'm still single btw

Oh hey guys. I'm pretty sure guns are banned here.

Yeah. No violence on my birthday!

Of course it's banned, that's what makes it so fun. And you probably should have hired more security if you didn't want guns.

I could drive a tank right through this bar and obliterate everything, and the security still wouldn't stop me. Because there is no security.

I've even nuked the closet multiple times. Pretty sure nukes would have been the first thing to get banned.

---

@King-Pen Krazy
Don't worry, I'm single too. That's the entire point of this place pretty much, but then the normies came along and ruined it. We had a really special thing going on too. ****ing normies.

None of us work here. We all just hang out. Well, maybe one or two users were acting as bartenders, but honestly, I’d say this is pretty much just an empty building filled with alcoholic beverages and single people, so the name stuck. And what quote-unquote “normies” are you speaking of?
Why would you want to destroy the bar anyway?

Quote: ShadowMewX

Why would you want to destroy the bar anyway?

So we can build a better one, a bar that can withstand all that the galaxy can possibly throw at us! And as it does, we shall laugh heartily at its meagre attempts to destroy it and all within! And then.... conquest. All the bars in all the cosmos shall be ours to make compliant in the Great Crudesade!

By the way, thanks for explaining what this thread was. I've been trying to figure out since I first stumbled upon it.

What do you mean there's no security?

I am the security.

I am also a notorious godmodder. Throw those tanks at me again, weakling.

My best friend has a girlfriend

Also she wants to kill me for putting a pair of wheels on our project.

We where working on a toy car.

Yeah, I like the idea of turning the bar into an unstoppable fortress of doom. Add wheels, and then we've got ourselves a moving fortress, and that's even better. Add rocket boosters, then we've got a flying fortress of doom, and that's... so badass that Hollywood would make a movie franchise about it.

Rocket launchers, flamethrowers, robot armies... we'll soup it up to become the most badass army of horny alcoholics the world ever knew. In a supertank.

The world will be ours to conquer. No one will be able to stop us - the united armies of the world will cower in fear of our drunken rampage, and our arsenal of nukes will be enough to make Kimmy wet himself and wipe his country right off the map.

I've got some Sabaton albums ready for the jukebox also. Gotta have appropriate music for when you're taking the world by storm - literally.

Speaking of the jukebox, what songs are on there anyway? I'm thinking there should be:
Queen - Somebody to Love
Avicii - Waiting for Love
Dragonforce - Seasons
Sonata Arctica - Tallulah
Striker - Start Again
Kamelot - My Therapy
Masterplan - When Love Comes Close
Sonata Arctica - My Selene
Power Quest - Only in My Dreams

And of course, if we plan on turning this thing into a supertank, we'll need lots of Sabaton.

O Storm, Defender of the Bar, protect us from harm!

Yeah, there’s not much to this bar besides a bit of discussion here and there. We have inside jokes and stuff, and occasionally some drunken riffraff tries to cause trouble (and/or get to my roof), but we’ve remained strong for four whole topics, so I don’t think we’re going down any time soon.

@King-Pen Krazy

That's because true cars user jetpacks and flux capacitors. Only normie cars use wheels.

...I'm glad I'm not the only one to go to a silly school. Well, technically not, since I left a while ago and no college will take me because that place ****ed up the exams and I left without and GCSEs. On my last days, I:

Drew dicks on the basketball court, with two others helping. This is the only thing I actually got in trouble for.
Dressed up in cardboard and pretended to be a wizard.
NSFW

Those were probably some of the stranger things that I did, it got especially silly on the last days it seems. I think I was always considered one of the weirder kids, and that's not too surprising. Though, plenty of us were weird in our own ways, like the kid who almost blew up the art room.

And that time when two other kids tried making a gay club.

But hey, I'm now doubting that my school was the weirdest. I'm sure there are plenty of other people with crazy stories to tell.

---

I don't want to destroy this bar. I now see that it would be more useful to turn it into a supertank and take over the world.

And have we decided what songs to have on the jukebox yet?

Yeah, go ahead and make it into a fortress. It's not being destroyed, that's fine.

Only condition is that you wait until tomorrow. Shadme doesn't want any violence on her birthday.

Can we celebrate instead of fight?

Yeah, okay, I'll wait till tomorrow.

What should we celebrate? I'm at a blank, my life is really boring right now...

Oh! I know! A wedding! First, we'll find two users who like each other, and then... force them into marriage? Wait, that's not quite right either.

Anyone here who wants to get married?

If not, we'll just celebrate being single I guess. I can bring out the vodka, then we'll all get drunk as hell.

Maybe a SSB4 drinking game, with Smash Balls, Assist Trophies, and Pokeballs on high? Everytime someone gets hit, take a shot. Everytime someone gets KO'd, take a drink. 99 stocks.

Marriages are more fun. But that would take away the whole point of the bar, and I don't know who would want to get married anyway.

Or we could start a Couples Bar alongside the Singles Bar. For married users only, or those in a relationship.

Woah it’s still alive

Quote: DeathOfADream

Woah it’s still alive

I bumped it 'cause I was listening to SA and started feeling lonely again. So I decided to return to the land of horniness once more.

The couples don't need a bar. They have themselves to be all mushy-gushy with.

And Cynder, your bio says you're not single. What are you still doing in here?

Cynderfan is a traitor. She must be disposed of immediately... well, tomorrow, since Shadme doesn't want violence on her birthday.

Have we decided what kind of party or celebration to have yet? How about a birthday party for Shadme?

Looks like we have three options:
1. Wedding
2. Celebration of being single
3. Shadme's birthday party

How about we let Shadme decide? Birthdays get priority vote.

Okay. But she's not here now, so we'll have to summon her via virgin sacrifice.

However, since no violence is allowed on birthdays, we'll have to do the sacrifice without violence. In other words, a sacrifice without a sacrifice.

Or we can find a virgin and let him/her have sex with one of us, as long as we can actually find a virgin who would want to have sex with one of us. This way, we're sacrifing his virginity, which is technically a sacrifice without violence. As long as we have their consent, of course, and that's why we need to find a virgin who wants to have sex with one of us.

Which virgin should we sacrifice? Don't forgot we need their consent first, so let's just draw up some viable candidates first, then ask them.

No need for desperate means. Just set up a surprise party for now, until she gets here.

It's not exactly desperate means. Desperate means would be setting up a catfish Tinder profile to draw in horny virgins, then... actually, I don't even know which person here is most desperate for sex. Though we're in a singles bar, so I reckon we're all horny in our own ways.

Personally, I'm just trying to expand my waifu collection. Megurine Luka is definitely the hottest, but they're all cute in their own ways. And of course, expanding my knowledge on cute girls is always useful.

This really isn't the best place to build my collection. Y'all have **** taste from what I've seen TBH. In fact, the last (and only) time I got shipped on here was when Cynderfan shipped me with something called Yokune Riku (I think that was their name), and that's... well, dS certainly does have crap taste.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

What sort of stuff does Shadme like? What music does she listen to?

If she has no musical preference, I'll just put on Sonata Arctica and hope she likes metal. Though even if you're not a metal fan, you still gotta admit they're a great band - definitely some Queen influences, and White Pearl, Black Oceans is a masterpiece in every sense of the word, perhaps enough to even rival Bohemian Rhapsody.

Or I could just put on SA anyway. Or at least until she gets here. SA is awesome, and who knows, she might like them too.

We should totally start a SA fanclub.

Good lOrD, don’t kill the virgins! Because I think we’re all virgins here, and I don’t want to die to summon myself. ...Wait...
Metal and rock are fine. Music’s a great idea, actually! I, uh, went out and got a cake, so does anyone want cake? I promise it isn’t a lie.

You just don't know the wonders of Fire Emblem yet, Ambush.

I'll definitely go for cake! Or maybe pie, since Thanksgiving is tomorrow?

We weren't discussing death sacrifices. I was more interested in sacrificing their virginity, since that doesn't involve violence.

---

Metal is great. Currently listening to Blind Guardian's A Night at The Opera. Sadly Sings Destiny is my favourite song on here so far, but my overall favourites would be Valhalla and The Holy Grail. Mirror Mirror is their most famous song, it's more or less became the most famous song in the entire power metal genre, and rightfully so - it's awesone. Blind Guardian are awesome.

Though, I think Sonata Arctica are the best band for introducing others to the genre. The songs I'd suggest starting with, particularly in this order, would probably be:
1. Gravenimage
2. Fullmoon
3. Tallulah
4. Victoria's Secret
5. San Sebastian
6. Broken
7. White Pearl, Black Oceans

My favourite SA songs are My Selene, The End of This Chapter, and Broken. Fullmoon, San Sebastian, and White Pearl, Black Oceans tend to be considered their most well-known songs from what I've seen. White Pearl, Black Oceans also has some surprisingly emotional (and dark, for example: "one step will take me back inside, another sees my end") lyrics, too. My Selene also has some... interesting lyrics, too.

Victoria's Secret is very different than what the name probably suggests, also.

---

What kind of cake? Chocolate cake? Popcorn cake? Pure-happiness cake with unicorns and rainbows?

Eh, I'll probably be sitting in the corner contemplating life as usual. Friendships have never lasted well with me.

Oh, and since I haven't said it yet... happy birthday, Shadme!

Why, thank you! I’m glad we can all come together to celebrate a little bit.
The cake is...uh...Oreo? I think everyone likes Oreo cake. Storm made an excellent suggestion, and so now we have pumpkin pie as well. ...And ice cream.

Pecan pie is better, you heathens.

Quote: StormDragon21

The couples don't need a bar. They have themselves to be all mushy-gushy with.

And Cynder, your bio says you're not single. What are you still doing in here?

Quote: AmbushFan

Cynderfan is a traitor. She must be disposed of immediately... well, tomorrow, since Shadme doesn't want violence on her birthday.

Have we decided what kind of party or celebration to have yet? How about a birthday party for Shadme?

Looks like we have three options:
1. Wedding
2. Celebration of being single
3. Shadme's birthday party

i was once a very big contributor to these threads i demand to be an exception

If by "very big contributor" you mean "tries to pair off all the users in this bar" then your statement is correct.

Quote: StormDragon21

If by "very big contributor" you mean "tries to pair off all the users in this bar" then your statement is correct.

see i contributed
now let me s t a y

Quote: StormDragon21

Pecan pie is better, you heathens.

Pecan pie?! Pecan pie?!
...I’ve never tried pecan pie. Whoops.

Also, hi Cynderfan! You’re cool in my book.

Quote: DeathOfADream

Quote: StormDragon21

If by "very big contributor" you mean "tries to pair off all the users in this bar" then your statement is correct.

see i contributed
now let me s t a y

You didn't pair me up with anyone. Well, except for Yokune Riko... if that's any indication, I'd rather not be paired up with anyone.

Aside from Megurine Luka. Megurine Luka is hot, I'd totally let myself get paired with her anyday.

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: DeathOfADream

Quote: StormDragon21

If by "very big contributor" you mean "tries to pair off all the users in this bar" then your statement is correct.

see i contributed
now let me s t a y

You didn't pair me up with anyone. Well, except for Yokune Riko... if that's any indication, I'd rather not be paired up with anyone.

Aside from Megurine Luka. Megurine Luka is hot, I'd totally let myself get paired with her anyday.

see there u go
ur paired with Luka now
congrats

Quote: DeathOfADream

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: DeathOfADream

see i contributed
now let me s t a y

You didn't pair me up with anyone. Well, except for Yokune Riko... if that's any indication, I'd rather not be paired up with anyone.

Aside from Megurine Luka. Megurine Luka is hot, I'd totally let myself get paired with her anyday.

see there u go
ur paired with Luka now
congrats

You never gave me or Shadme a chance! You drastically affected our history!

Good. Now I can-

****, I'm not single anymore. I can't come here anymore now... except, if...

Let's just change this from the "Single's Bar" to "Nobody-in-Particular's Bar", then we're not being discriminating.

This has been historically the Single's Bar, and it will never change!

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: DeathOfADream

Quote: AmbushFan

You didn't pair me up with anyone. Well, except for Yokune Riko... if that's any indication, I'd rather not be paired up with anyone.

Aside from Megurine Luka. Megurine Luka is hot, I'd totally let myself get paired with her anyday.

see there u go
ur paired with Luka now
congrats

You never gave me or Shadme a chance! You drastically affected our history!

Okay, okay. I have an idea:

Me - Megurine Luka
You - Kagamine Rin
Shadme - Hatsune Miku
Cynderfan - MEIKO

There. All sorted.

Quote: AmbushFan

Quote: StormDragon21

Quote: DeathOfADream

see there u go
ur paired with Luka now
congrats

You never gave me or Shadme a chance! You drastically affected our history!

Okay, okay. I have an idea:

Me - Megurine Luka
You - Kagamine Rin
Shadme - Hatsune Miku
Cynderfan - MEIKO

There. All sorted.

I don't even know what the heck you're talking about.

You're paired with Kagamine Rin now.

Never mind, I want to go back to the old days. At least I know who Shadme is.

You mean when we kept talking about the closet and making sex jokes, all the time?

...No thanks. I'd rather watch an entire trilogy based around Jar Jar Binks.

I'd be fine with anything else but that. Anything but the closet.

Jar Jar Binks best waifu

Okay, okay. Let's start over.

Darkspyro Waifu List V2.

Q - Megurine Luka
StormDragon21 - Shadme
Shadme - StormDragon21
Cynderfan - Yokune Riko
emeraldzoroark - Jar Jar Binks

Quote: 84skylanderdude

ShadowMew and AmbushFan

Don't think I didn't see this.

Quote: AmbushFan

You mean when we kept talking about the closet and making sex jokes, all the time?

...No thanks. I'd rather watch an entire trilogy based around Jar Jar Binks.

I'd be fine with anything else but that. Anything but the closet.

No, not THAT past.
We're singles. I'm pretty sure half of us don't even know what we're talking about.
Plus, I successfully got it shut down.