darkSpyro

I had a Deoxys lunch box in 7th grade.

i got some bismuth today

I don't understand some people who hate this site but can't just leave it.

I have to confess, when I hear the other sides of people, the ones I don't personally like or uncomfortable with hearing about, I get sad over it. On top of that it I get more and more afraid of saying anything personal of mine outwardly. Now, this doesn't have to do with "Oh, I automatically think this person is bad now that I know that side of them" it's more that the feeling comes on of "What will they say if I expose this? I don't know if I'll be able to take it, so maybe I'll just keep to myself." and it isn't me not trusting my friends, and it's not like I think my friends will comment with words that will hurt me because some part of me knows, logically they're nice people.... But emotions, emotions always get the best of people. And as I am afraid of so many things involving hurt, I'm afraid of hearing something that I won't like.

I admit to being a coward, a coward whom is so afraid of facing hurt that I end up shying away from people more often than not. And I understand pain is a normal thing, I understand that most times opinions aren't meant to hurt another, that they are just personal views, every person as their own view on how they see things. But I'm afraid still, for some reason I don't feel I have confidence in myself at all to not be sensitive, or weak, to even the tiniest of pricks. At usual times though, I still speak what's on my heart and mind, at usual times I have the strength, I know I'm strong because I've lived eighteen years of abuse, I should be able to take something like personal opinions especially since they're not meant to hurt... But... There is still that festering side of me, the one that feeds on the negative emotions and thoughts, the one whom holds me back because of the emotions of fear. Something that's taken over half of me, so I still keep quite a few things inside. While there is a half of me that is able to push, to want to hear the views of others, to just want to... Talk to people, without being held back at all. Of course, not being held back doesn't mean not being who I am or anything, my person in and of itself, is to try my best to be kind, that's just apart of me, apart of who I am. But what I mean is to keep a lot of personal stuff inside...

I'm sorry friends, toward anyone who doesn't like the negative side of me. To anyone who feels like they're not making any progress in deepening our relationships, on getting more familiar with me. It's just... This negative side, this imperfect, silly, at most times irrational side... This person who exudes so much sad and depressing thoughts and feelings, that holds me back. And I'm still trying, doing my best to change, hence why I still talk with you all... But it's a side that is very hard to get rid of.

It's true, that negativity and positivity are equal in measure in all things it seems. I have boundless hope, I see the positive in all things and persons, I know for a fact, I feel, I truly feel that a positive can come from anywhere... But it seems for life to balance that out in me, I feel and think of myself in a negative manner. That I hardly have confidence in myself to be more outward with things.

I know I usually have such long confessions, I don't have a tl;dr version of these things, a short explanation just won't do because this is all very important to me. I apologize for whatever time this may take up or whatever space but I had to confess this.

i hate to be that guy but since i came back i haven't really felt like a member of the forum tbh, especially since most of the people i was closest with before i left are gone :/

I wish I was an only child

not because I want to be spoiled, it's just that my sister is a huge *****

Can't wait until I get my Netflix sub to watch that, sounds interesting. I'm knee deep in work though so I can't allow myself to distract until it's done.

I'm starting to hate this ****:

-Not finding the Skylanders I need when hunting everywhere.
-Prices online being ridiculously over-inflated.
-Not knowing what the **** Activision has planned for the future of Skylanders.
-Having a complete collection of all figures for all previous games including in-game variants and a few chases, EXCEPT for Imaginators. It's just a major disappointment that the series may end by fizzling out with a ****ty release worse than the yawn traps or Thrillipede.

Sorry to be so negative, but I really needed to vent that, and I think it is warranted, right?

Thanks Drawdler

I cry so goddamn much. It's a bodily function that I cannot control at all. I feel like less of a man for crying and getting so upset at small stuff and it sucks! It really just ****ing sucks. I hate crying.

---

Don't focus on the crying since that'll only increase the frustration, focus on the stress and how to direct yourself to get out of it. I can get teary eyed after a certain point of stress but it's nowhere as bad as I used to be since I learned to use distractions or getting out of the situation to never reach that cap. Heck, things were going really badly on a project today, I just took constant breaks to sit down and draw/read silly stuff on the internet without questioning myself any further. If I kept letting the cycle of get upset-get frustrated at being upset-get stressed continue, I wouldn't be able to focus for a good hour afterwards.

Quote: Bifrost

Don't focus on the crying since that'll only increase the frustration, focus on the stress and how to direct yourself to get out of it. I can get teary eyed after a certain point of stress but it's nowhere as bad as I used to be since I learned to use distractions or getting out of the situation to never reach that cap. Heck, things were going really badly on a project today, I just took constant breaks to sit down and draw/read silly stuff on the internet without questioning myself any further. If I kept letting the cycle of get upset-get frustrated at being upset-get stressed continue, I wouldn't be able to focus for a good hour afterwards.

That's the exact problem I keep running into, honestly. I'm good at distracting myself sometimes, but other times, the stress is too much for me to handle so I just end up feeling worse. I'm constantly frustrated and depressed.

Just keep on trying, even if it's just breathing excercises or something to write on that you can discard later. Sorry for the unsolicited advice, btw, I didn't notice this wasn't Random Thoughts and posted without looking.

It's fine. It helps to talk things through sometimes with others.

Also, as you can tell, today hasn't been good for me

Its unhealthy for people to force themself not to cry, I know its not the most desirable thing (I can be sitting there and suddenly be crying but feeling emotionally perfectly fine) but it is a thing that your body needs to do. Over time things will get better, just keep going

Again, thank you. My mental health has been utter trash these past few months. Support, no matter how small, definitely helps me push forward

Tears come from ANY heightened emotion, so you dont always have to feel bad about crying.
If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to PM me. If you just need someone to listen or want to try and talk through stuff I would be happy to help. You dont have to go through stuff alone

Emotion in Energy in Motion. Don't suppress it, that is unhealthy. Of course there are times you need to keep your composure and stay in control. But when you have the chance, let it out. Music is my favorite vehicle to get that energy in motion.

You guys are healthy because you can talk about it and do something about it. MegaSpyro worries me that he doesn't talk to anyone.

Despite eating meat and liking meat, I in no way approve how animals are treated before they're killed. Hell, if Science can make a alternative meat (Which I hear is currently being done with even Bill Gates involved) I'd eat over meat as long as it provides the nutritions meat has, as well as having the tastes of it.

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Despite eating meat and liking meat, I in no way approve how animals are treated before they're killed. Hell, if Science can make a alternative meat (Which I hear is currently being done with even Bill Gates involved) I'd eat over meat as long as it provides the nutritions meat has, as well as having the tastes of it.

Agreed 100%. Although I'm pretty sure a lot of people that eat meat don't approve of how the animals are treated either.

I hate how they kill lobsters especially

How would you like to be put in a pot of scalding water?(not in reference to anyone here)

i love crawfish but the way they are cooked is just brutal. imagine being trapped in a pot and not being able to move at all as your friends and family are covering every part of your body. then after you feel heat gradually increasing in the pot and you see your skin change color but seen after your eyes start to feel tired and never open again.

Same. They're pretty expensive here so I eat once in a blue moon, but I'd rather eat it only if someone else is also ordering. Might as well not let them go to waste if they're going in such a horrible way, since relatives barely eat seafood.

Seconding the synthetic meat too. My stomatch does not like soy meat even if it tastes alright to me, not to mention the price, so actual delicious red meat/poultry that has all the texture with none of the implications would probably sell like hotcakes once it's at a reasonable price. It's wishful thinking at least on this century, but it'd be pretty nice.

Quote: Sesshomaru75

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Despite eating meat and liking meat, I in no way approve how animals are treated before they're killed. Hell, if Science can make a alternative meat (Which I hear is currently being done with even Bill Gates involved) I'd eat over meat as long as it provides the nutritions meat has, as well as having the tastes of it.

Agreed 100%. Although I'm pretty sure a lot of people that eat meat don't approve of how the animals are treated either.

Oh I'm sure. It's just been on my mind recently after watching key moments in Netflix's Okja.

On top of that, I'm considering giving up pork, with the exception of pepperoni. Still considering it. My pork consumption isn't that previlent anyway outside of pepperoni on pizza/as a snack. Hell, pepperoni isn't even all pork.

Well, it's the coconut effect I believe? If you sold white salmon normal buyers would call bull**** on it, even if the red is the color that's actually fake. People like to fool themselves sometimes.

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

are, are you serious

Quote: King-Pen Krazy

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

are, are you serious

As serious as I usually am.

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

I ACTUALLY don't believe you.

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Quote: King-Pen Krazy

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

are, are you serious

As serious as I usually am.

Oh, oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I get it

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

I

I'm not sure if this is a troll or not because based on the content of the message I'd be absolutely sure but based on the user it makes me doubt

Quote: 84skylanderdude

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Just found out the Harry Potter movies are based on a book. Holy hell, that must be a long book.

I

I'm not sure if this is a troll or not because based on the content of the message I'd be absolutely sure but based on the user it makes me doubt

Not kidding. I'm not one to be funny ever. As you all know.

TIL that Lord of the Rings was written by the guy who made Game of Thrones.

Who'da thunk it?

Quote: Bryman04

TIL that Lord of the Rings was written by the guy who made Game of Thrones.

Who'da thunk it?

Actually, that's not true.

Never knew these were a thing.

legends

Quote: HeyitsHotDog

Quote: Bryman04

TIL that Lord of the Rings was written by the guy who made Game of Thrones.

Who'da thunk it?

Actually, that's not true.

You got me to there, I was being a tease

Pacman

Quote: Wishblade

Pacman

Puck-Man.

Succ-Man

Quote: mega spyro

Succ-Man

You called?