darkSpyro

Post your best a man walks into a bar jokes




A horse walked into a bar
Many people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation

And my personal favorite
Alydol-"Two egotistical idiots walk into a bar"
Carmelita Fox-"Ouch, said Alydol, the stupid Bar was in my way."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Apologies to any dyslexic users that got offended by this.

A man walks into a bar and ****ing dies.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says to him "I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He orders two beers: one for here, and one for the road.

A neutron walks into a bar and gets a drink. Then asks the bartender how much he owes him. Bartender says, for you, no charge.

Two men walk into a bar. The first one orders a glass of H20, the other says he would like some H20 too. They're both fine because the bartender knows the nuances of the english language.

A man walks out of a bar.

A man walks into a bar, and is impaled by said bar.

A man walks into a bar and wastes tons of money in order to get drinks there and spending time talking to and arguing with boring meaningless people instead of saving money and getting wasted alone in his home not being a nuisance to anyone and having a nice time deciding his own entertainment and whatnot...

Oh sorry... you wanted a joke not a statement of reality. Let me think something...

A man walks into a bar and bartender asks him: "What do you want?", the man did not understand English so in anger he just did his lavatorial duties on the bar floor and left the place.

A man walks into a bar. He's had a headache since doing so.

A clumsy man walks into a bar. Then a table, then a chair.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

Two men walking their dogs walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but animals aren't allowed in here. You'll have to take your dogs outside."
"What do we do?" asks the second guy. "We can't tie our dogs out here, who knows what will happen?"
"Follow my lead," the first guy says. He puts on a pair of dark sunglasses and walks inside.
"Sorry, but no dogs allowed," the bartender repeats.
"Oh, I'm blind. That's my seeing eye dog," the first guy says.
"A Doberman? Good choice! I'm sure he protects you from all sorts of criminals." The first man is let in.
The second man walks in wearing sunglasses with his dog on a leash. "No dogs allowed," the bartender repeats, clearly annoyed.
"That's my seeing eye dog. I'm blind," the second man explains.
"Your dog is a Chihuahua," the bartender growls.
"A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

to get to the other side

Quote: Drawdler

A woman walks into a bar.

You signature makes that so perfect

This was shamelessly stolen from the comments section of a jacksfilms video.

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers. The bartender looks at him and says "Ah, so five beers, then?"

A man walks into a bar.
Why ?

I have another one for all the pirates out there.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Hey, is that a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarr, it's driving me nuts!"