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darkSpyro - Spyro and Skylanders Forum > Stuff and Nonsense > How does one seduce a toaster?
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How does one seduce a toaster?
abstractsardine Gold Sparx Gems: 2244
#1 Posted: 04:35:09 12/05/2017 | Topic Creator
Ya know, a toaster. A machine that can toast bread. I'm asking for a friend...

I swear I'm asking for a friend!!!
ZapNorris Ripto Gems: 5109
#2 Posted: 04:35:55 12/05/2017
get in the tub with it
somePerson Diamond Sparx Gems: 8864
#3 Posted: 04:37:03 12/05/2017
[User Posted Image]
- - -
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Star Wars didn't happen, but it's a rad movie.
abstractsardine Gold Sparx Gems: 2244
#4 Posted: 05:13:28 12/05/2017 | Topic Creator
^ That's a good toaster
O///O
Crystal Dragon Diamond Sparx Gems: 8850
#5 Posted: 05:58:55 12/05/2017
u stick things in it obvs
Muffin Man Platinum Sparx Gems: 5569
#6 Posted: 07:33:28 12/05/2017
Topic made me think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8kQDNLkT3c

Although the flower was actually very unsuccessful at seducing the toaster.
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Boop me if you see this.
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 07:35:04 12/05/2017 by Muffin Man
Spyroboy Prismatic Sparx Gems: 12462
#7 Posted: 09:11:51 12/05/2017
Offer them sexy buns to it.
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「恋愛なんてだっさー‼ヤングは迷わずテクノブレイク一択でしょ‼」
Spyro Fanatic Hunter Gems: 12293
#8 Posted: 10:34:53 12/05/2017
[User Posted Image]

Sorry, I had to post it.
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R.I.P. Ra
June 16th 2000 ~ May 3rd 2017
King-Pen Krazy Yellow Sparx Gems: 1907
#9 Posted: 11:29:12 12/05/2017
Uhhh

I don't know
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Rise and Shine Ursine
Greeble Emerald Sparx Gems: 4355
#10 Posted: 14:29:12 12/05/2017
Ask if it wants to toast your muffin.
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^ You all know it's true
Crash10 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4745
#11 Posted: 16:56:41 12/05/2017
Say "all toasters toast toast". The toaster will then toast you entirely.
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Bruh
KeybasHedKey Ripto Gems: 1862
#12 Posted: 19:16:51 12/05/2017
put some toast.
cowpowa23 Emerald Sparx Gems: 4833
#13 Posted: 04:10:09 14/05/2017
Be bold.

Stick your toast right into it.

Just stuck it right on in there...
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I am a Cow.

"Moo".
Bryman04 Gold Sparx Gems: 2116
#14 Posted: 16:37:40 14/05/2017
These innuendos make my loaf stiff and hard.
Muffin Man Platinum Sparx Gems: 5569
#15 Posted: 18:36:21 14/05/2017
Quote: Drawdler
I just realised these innuendos are hilarious considering toasters make bread more hard and dry


That raises the question...how do you safely lubricate a toaster?
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Boop me if you see this.
Shagaru Magala Blue Sparx Gems: 850
#16 Posted: 19:35:47 14/05/2017
[User Posted Image]


Just an anagram of toaster but it's the best I got
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smilie
Ghakimx Emerald Sparx Gems: 4064
#17 Posted: 03:43:57 15/05/2017
put ur dick in it
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Support the interview of Spyro's first composer, Stewart Copeland!
Rattlebuckler Gold Sparx Gems: 2298
#18 Posted: 03:49:55 15/05/2017
Simple it talks smashing with a hammer
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We’re 106 miles from Chicago we got a full tank of gas a half a pack of cigarettes it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses hit it -blues brothers
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#19 Posted: 15:07:21 15/05/2017
How to seduce a toaster:
1. Approach toaster.
2. Get real close to toaster.
3. Caress toaster's face.
4. Whisper in toaster's ears, "All toasters toast toast."
5. Insert bread into toaster and make toast.
Congratulations, you have seduced a toaster
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i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 15:08:21 15/05/2017 by Chompy-King257
emeraldzoroark Platinum Sparx Gems: 5456
#20 Posted: 21:18:45 15/05/2017
Quote: Chompy-King257
How to seduce a toaster:
1. Approach toaster.
2. Get real close to toaster.
3. Caress toaster's face.
4. Whisper in toaster's ears, "All toasters toast toast."
5. Insert bread into toaster and make toast.
Congratulations, you have seduced a toaster


Does this method work with bagels?
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Soon.
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#21 Posted: 21:40:01 15/05/2017
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257
How to seduce a toaster:
1. Approach toaster.
2. Get real close to toaster.
3. Caress toaster's face.
4. Whisper in toaster's ears, "All toasters toast toast."
5. Insert bread into toaster and make toast.
Congratulations, you have seduced a toaster


Does this method work with bagels?


no only toasters
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i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
emeraldzoroark Platinum Sparx Gems: 5456
#22 Posted: 22:07:40 15/05/2017
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257
How to seduce a toaster:
1. Approach toaster.
2. Get real close to toaster.
3. Caress toaster's face.
4. Whisper in toaster's ears, "All toasters toast toast."
5. Insert bread into toaster and make toast.
Congratulations, you have seduced a toaster


Does this method work with bagels?


no only toasters


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?
---
Soon.
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#23 Posted: 22:12:09 15/05/2017
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark


Does this method work with bagels?


no only toasters


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?


maybe
depends on the preference of the toaster
---
i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Bryman04 Gold Sparx Gems: 2116
#24 Posted: 23:23:25 15/05/2017
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257


no only toasters


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?


maybe
depends on the preference of the toaster


how does your toaster sexually identify?
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#25 Posted: 00:00:35 16/05/2017
Quote: Bryman04
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?


maybe
depends on the preference of the toaster


how does your toaster sexually identify?


mine only takes bread
she's breadsexual
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i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:01:14 16/05/2017 by Chompy-King257
Emperor_Mustard Blue Sparx Gems: 628
#26 Posted: 00:12:38 09/06/2017
Have you tried toasting two top hamburger buns?
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And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!
emeraldzoroark Platinum Sparx Gems: 5456
#27 Posted: 00:49:38 10/06/2017
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257


no only toasters


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?


maybe
depends on the preference of the toaster



ok i tried to use bagels instead of bread for the toaster. i go up close to whisper to it and, no joke, i hear burning. naturally i step away from it, but nothing happens. so no, you cannot seduce a toaster with bagels.
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Soon.
Chompy-King257 Gold Sparx Gems: 2956
#28 Posted: 00:52:31 10/06/2017
Quote: emeraldzoroark
Quote: Chompy-King257
Quote: emeraldzoroark


I meant can you seduce the toaster with bagels instead of bread?


maybe
depends on the preference of the toaster



ok i tried to use bagels instead of bread for the toaster. i go up close to whisper to it and, no joke, i hear burning. naturally i step away from it, but nothing happens. so no, you cannot seduce a toaster with bagels.


see, i told you
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i made the "bus" look like my "dad"
Wishblade Emerald Sparx Gems: 3262
#29 Posted: 03:21:53 10/06/2017
Plug it in, polish it, and tease it with an eggo.
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Any last wishes?
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