She only just left, but I feel like crying. Why am I such a weak person, why do I have to be such a dependent. I'm terrified it's going to make her hate me.
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
if i could use my new health insurance i could have this fixed in a day but i'm missing the other ID card i need :') so i guess i'm stuck with half hearing
if i could use my new health insurance i could have this fixed in a day but i'm missing the other ID card i need :') so i guess i'm stuck with half hearing
Bruh, I feel ya. I'm also half deaf, too. It's a tough hand to be dealt but you'll deal with it
Karma has unleashed absolute full hell for me on me. My heart has completely broken. It has shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces, and I see no way of it mending. I am now just an empty, hollow, emotional, worthless shell of a person. All my best friends have left me and everyone hates me with a burning passion. And then there's the moment when you think you know someone, but then they spin around and act completely different. And this is all the payback for what I have done? Something that I could not fully control?
How are you supposed to let go of someone you love so ****ing deeply? How are you supposed to let go of all the happy memories together? I can't do that, I just can't do that, I don't want to do that! I said I couldn't live without you. I ****ing meant it.
My life is just heading straight downwards. Nothing good has happened and nothing good will ever happen. Everyone I know hates me, or will come to hate me, so there's no use being in this world where I'm hated, a waste of space, and a failure.
Edited 3 times - Last edited at 01:48:25 11/04/2017 by Spyro-Gamer
Silence is too painful lately. Stress spikes like a mother****** because I can't stop thinking about the Unfair Thing of the Week, be it real issues or the fact watching Persona 5 is a minefield and I only choose franchises with problems.
--- SO I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT
(What I need is never what I want)
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 17:49:53 10/04/2017 by Bifrost
It's been years since I've talked to you, but you've changed so differently. Changed into something I disagree with personally.
What in life changed you to this degree? What did it do to you to make you give into acting like this? I just want to understand because you are becoming something like I was so long ago... There is something better than feeling and thinking that way, you didn't have to give up on the dawn. And I wish I had kept around to show you that. To at least show that you can hold onto something in the twilight between the dawn and the night. That path is always a choice too.
I wish I was around to show you that, I know I was stupid and left you to your own devices because of who I used to be, but you didn't have to give up like I did, like I used to.
--- Like fallen snow, I lay on the ground and wait for my turn to fade away, no matter how unique I seem. It's my gift to you... A true sacrifice...
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 01:00:00 11/04/2017 by Dark Lord
I am so happy, it's finally done and it looks amazing. I love the rush of happiness that comes after finishing a massive project like this. I have done something I never thought I could do, now I can relax and tomorrow start sorting out the photographs to put it up for everyone to see.
--- I just realised that I might not know what the hell is going on
I have a memory of a ban I received. Took me a while to accept it as a fair ban, but then there's another ban I got for sharing a Fortune article warning about a phishing scam, in Cookiezi's/Shigetora's (#1 osu! player) Discord server. There wasn't a rule that says it's forbidden, so i decided to post it. The next day, I find out I was banned, and then a couple of days later, when I relayed this to a mod to try for an appeal, they refused an unban.
I finally broke up with them... I know that I should be happy that I'm single again, and that I have the opportunity to look for a boyfriend, but I'm still a bit nervous. My ex-girlfriends seem to be alright with everything and are extremely supportive, but what if I don't ever find true love? Heck, all of the guys in my school are homophobic jerks! The fact that I'm aromantic doesn't make anything easier...
This is so ****ing frustrating. I poured my heart and soul into that video, that you all apparently wanted to watch really badly, but now you're all ignoring me, thanks. You're all great friends you know? To all lie to my face.
Why do I even bother with this stupid youtube thing, it's clearly not going to amount to anything...
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
im sick of being last place
im sick of frustrating people or letting them down
im sick of being the butt of every goddamn joke
im sick of being everyones handicap
im sick of people actually admitting that i drag everyone else down
life would be better for everyone if i just didnt exist
then i couldnt let anyone down or fail anymore
then maybe people would finally be happy
I was given "thank you" letters from the customers this week for the good job I did for them. But why in the blue hell am I still demeaning that and analyzing it to death? What in the world is wrong with me? Am I so terrified of accepting positivity and happiness in my life that I must create poor rationalizations for the work I do and getting educated in to be better at? I don't know... It feels like day by day this uncontrollable monster of mind is devouring me and allows me to just be and not thrive. Maybe I am overreacting but eventually it amounts to nothing.
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.
Oh cool, I get to take a test in my worst subject and have to pass. Great, that's amazing. Good thing I have ONLY 15 ****ING DAYS advance notice when you promised a month.
I'm realizing now that people don't enjoy watching other people play games in front of them. At least I hope that's it or else I'm boring my friends to death and I'd feel bad because I kinda pressured them into doing it. Guess I better do some really kewl edits to keep them entertained if I ever want hope of them watching it.
---
I used to be THE Bowser, now I'm just an awkward girl
Why in the ever loving **** does the class of one year need to actually pass the exams, but others only need to participate to graduate? What kind of ****ing bull**** is that? So if someone fails one year you can just pass them regardless in the next? And then classes that graduate the year after don't have to even take the tests? Could you please just make it so everyone has the same thing? Looking at that stupid ****ing chart gives me 3 different ****ing answers. I don't have to take the English test, but then next box says I do and I have to pass, and the next one says I do and don't have to pass.
I have to pass a test in literally every subject that's not an elective, but anyone who was graduating one year before me only ha to show up, and everyone after me doesn't even have to take them. And what's really really good is they're all on the same goddamn ****ing day. Just testing back to back, no breaks, and my worst subject comes last so I won't even have the energy for it. Oh, and they're supposed to take 3-4 hours, but the next test is scheduled to start 3 hours after the first. How the **** do you expect me to do 3 tests, back to back, no breaks, in less time than it's estimated to take? I'll probably be dehydrated and hungry half way through, but I guess I can just go **** myself?
Oh, and I have to take a test I shouldn't have to take, which is for a grade above mine and I was told I wouldn't have to take.
I can't do anything to make things better. I don't know why I even try. Everyone I know have so many problems, and they insist that I help, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like they're lying.
I'm afraid of bringing this up with anyone else because I don't want to impose myself and dump my problems on people. I don't let myself talk about my problems to anyone. Probably very unhealthy, but I find that I'm less likely to get yelled at for being self-defeating.
I don't want to go to church tomorrow, even though it's Easter. I've just been in this weird mood for the past few days and social interaction with a whole bunch of people seems taxing.
God, this is so scary. This keeps happening. It finds a way to keep happening, apparently even when I'm not moving. I'm probably overreacting, or I should probably just get over it, but I don't know how. This same thing has happened before so many times and it was so devastating, it left me so betrayed. Maybe It's my fault? Sometimes I don't even have a clue as to why it happened.
haha, lol, laughing to cover negative feelings
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 00:09:15 16/04/2017 by Waaksian
For some reason, I think that I have lost you. I tried to approach you but I did it under influence of bad experience I went through instead of true desire and will to fix this burned bridge. And the most stupid thing about this is that I am too humbled and removed-of-personal-prestige to directly talk to you. And now I don’t know what to do in order to not appear pretentious by my actions.
I don’t know… it feels like I am in process of losing all the important people in my life, you know? Even mental hermits need some company when the going gets tough. Although, when going gets tough, the tough hide under the table.
---
I might give you more opinions... for a small fee of course.
Why must I try and force a relationship on girls who are clearly not into me.
----
At this point, I don't even deserve one. I'm a creepy, awkward loser who always goes one step too far and ruins perfectly fine friendships by wanting to date the people I'm friends with. Everyone around me has successful and happy relationships but me. What is my issue? Why don't girls liks me?
Ugh... I'm desperate. I hate that. **** this ****! **** my obsession with girls. I just come off like a massive **** that *****es about being single every single ****ing day!
Edited 1 time - Last edited at 01:59:01 16/04/2017 by TheToyNerd
God damn this is friendship. Debit card was not working at the metro machine, bud just slips a twenty in without question. God I feel so warm right now.
What's decency? Well, keeping your clothes on in public is the most obvious example. Some other examples including using turn signals and following the speed limit, but that's not what we're here to talk about.
Let's talk about decency in a grocery store, or any store in general.
It's not decency when you decided that you no longer want an item while you're still shopping, but you're too lazy to put it back so you just place it wherever, especially if it's cold/frozen. Because when it warms up and goes bad, you're not the one that has to pay for it, right?
Another example of being awful is not putting your cart away. Let's just leave our grocery carts randomly in the parking lot and not in the cart holder 5 feet from your car. If that cart hits someone's car, it's not your fault right?
Being decent also includes watching you're children so they don't ****ing die or get kidnapped. Or even sneak into a cashier's till, which is illegal btw, and steal "free" lollipops without asking even when there's a cashier IN THE TILL. Or hey, even you're child going between the cashier's legs to throw something into the trash that if someone saw it, could get the cashier in huge trouble. But what child would do that right? Because you ALWAYS watch your child, right? Or maybe you're the parent that goes into an empty till and gets the lollipops, which again is completely illegal?
Please take these examples of decency in mind next time you go shopping :)
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