Quote: CanidaeQuote: CAV
Or, what if, this all comes full circle again? That the burial ground is actually a long standing legend, and in reality this is the landing spot for the aforementioned alien lifeforms? That every century they come to the exact same spot of your home, and abduct a specimen to perform experiments and observe the natural cycle of human evolution over several millennia since the dawn of mankind. These beings who themselves have long since evolved beyond our primitive cerebral comprehension have watched over us and studied us (and never even left us a giant dark chocolate bar, the heathens).
And with your unique and curious condition, your combination of both sexes makes you appear not simply as a physical anomaly, but as the next logical step in human evolution, making you a prime suspect of study. This case could appear to the aliens as though humanity, given the time, will soon be able to reproduce asexually, just as they have long ago achieved the ability to do.
The aliens will abduct you to see if, truly, humanity will soon be able to go **** themselves.
*gasp* This is far too much information for my feeble brain to comprehend. Every choice I have made in life has led me to this point in time, to this exact spot. Unbeknownst to me, fate has guided me to my destiny. Clearly the alien lifeforms have chosen a fine location to host their landing sight. With a wide variety of striking individuals, such as the prosperous amount of Amish and Deliverance rednecks, they are able to research many walks of life. And whose to say anything at all of the tales of abduction. Who would believe a mortal wearing hefty overalls and possessing a strange immunity to showers? People would just say they went a little too merry on the moonshine the night prior. All their bases are covered, which makes it the perfect setup.
All until I came along and fiercely exposed myself to the local fauna and flora (or so I thought), and gave them an even more intriguing subject to experiment on. If I am the one pawn to aid humankind in farther advancing in evolution, then who am I to prevent that from happening? I suppose I'm obligated to offer myself to the alien beings as a sacrifice, so they can gain maximum knowledge on my unusual mutation. I will now await the arrival of the light.
All of this makes me question. Are we even in control of our lives? Of our fate? Or is this all some sick mind game from those aliens? That they go beyond the simple test subjects of that fateful rural household and have secret control over all of us. That we do nothing except simply accept what happens to us, and we are given the false illusion of choice. We must find the key.
What is the secret message that the aliens have relayed to us all these years? Crop circles? Morse Code? Orange millionaires? It all must mean something. But what?
The best I can come up with is this. Agent Orange here loves to tout his imaginary money. Forbes lists his net worth at $4.5 billion. That's 4.5 thousand million. Thousand. The abbreviation for thousand is k.
Next we think about morse code. There's loads of intricate and secret messages you can craft with morse code. But who invented the telegraph machine? Samuel Morse and Alfred Vail. Alfred. f
Lastly is the crop circles. Wait a sec. Crop. c
k
f
c
The answer lies within Kentucky Fried Chicken.
It explains everything perfectly! We may have never been in control of our very lives, and are just mere chess pieces. It's why we sometimes suddenly completely blank on what we were going to do. It's just the extraterrestrials removing an action, and adding a new one to the queue. Mind blown.
Kentucky Fried Chicken... interesting. So what you're saying is Colonel Sanders may just be an alien wearing a human skin suit to blend in to his environment. I knew there was something off about that guy. You can never trust a man with a glorious goatee. He is far too enthusiastic in his attempts to convey others to purchase his delicious chicken. Almost like there is a hidden higher purpose lying within the very chicken itself! But what may that be? Wait.... what if chickens are actually from the very planet these alien beings call home? This explains their weird crest hats and strange clucking dialect. It just keeps going deeper.