darkSpyro

I came to realize only 3 genders exist. male, female, and non-binary. All those non binary genders are essentially various mixes of masculinity and femininity with multiple variances including very neutral. Gender fluid people shift between multiple genders. And Agender is not a gender it's a LACK OF A GENDER ID.

I shouldn't be jealous over this.

Are you avoiding me. Please don't be avoiding me. I love you, please just talk. Even if its sending me a stupid joke on 9gag. Please. I'm so scared you're going to leave me like he did. Please.

alone again...I get the feeling people only say they care about me so they feel better about themselves. Once they do, they can shove me away. I really don't mean anything to anyone

I'm glad I have these people here who love me and care about me and not only remembered my birthday but cared that it was my birthday, but it still hurts that you all didn't. Even with social media and Skype there to remind you (and I know you're there), you apparently didn't care. I shouldn't be surprised, a few of you forgot last year too when we were actually together (though to be fair I didn't exactly broadcast it), but I still held out a little hope that you would remember and say something, that I was still important enough for at least that. I even held out a small glimmer of hope that he would, as stupid as that is. It's weird that it's now been five years since the day I got that cheap present from him that I cherish so freaking much. But it doesn't matter now, does it? Not to you, not to the girl who use to always say happy birthday, not to him, and not to any of the others. Hell I haven't even really heard much from my parents today, much less my brother. It just hurts a bit. I was afraid I'd get left, but not this soon. But I'm 20 now, I can't keep hopelessly clinging to the childish ideals I've been keeping anymore, can I?

Dearest, it's not that I think you are a gullible **** (You're a lot smarter than to be that) like a good chunk of the population is. It's just you're legitimately being a rather irrational thinker today. Like these people saying such about an *unreleased* game don't really have any backing to their words to prove to me that the game's story is SJW ass. Like they say they got it from a "stream" well which stream? Link me to that stream. Have some backing to your words please. I even tried googling for a stream of this game. Guess what? None exist because the game is unreleased until the 28th. So wait for that day for the story to be revealed jfc no need for the ****ish behavior there.
"Says the person that does not know sony" you know the example you gave was NaughtyDog's fault, not Sony's call. How about you start looking into **** before jumping to conclusion bingo?

Yes, I get annoyed at things, ****ing excuse me. Your answer to that should be to stop doing it instead of just telling me I'm not allowed to be annoyed by anything, and continuing to do it. But if you want something, everyone has to bend over backwards to accommodate you. But it's to much to ask that people stop trying to annoy me and treat me with decency.

I can't even exist around him anymore without him laughing at me for no reason. But why should he stop, I just need to deal with it. Why should he stop something that is giving me anxiety and making everything terrible for me? "People are like that in the world, and you just need to deal with it." Yes, there are people like that, but I shouldn't have to deal with an asshole every second of my day. I will not like him more if I spend time with him, the problem is not that I don't spend enough time with him. He had about 8 years where I had no choice but to be around him at all times, but yet here he is, a complete asshole. So now you're forcing me go do things with him as family activities, and I have to have fun. Fun is mandatory. How dare I get upset at this and get annoyed. Good thing you're there to tell me how I'm allowed to feel. I have to have fun, I'm not allowed to ever feel anxiety, never allowed to be angry, and never be upset.

It's impossible for me to ever discuss any feelings with you because you will do nothing other than tell me I'm not allowed to feel that way. And because of that, nothing can ever get better. It's the same cycle: things are going relatively okay, you come in and tell me how I'm allowed to feel/act/think, and that I'm the source of almost every problem, and I need to spend more time with him, my life goes to **** and I have constant anxiety, and just as things look like they might get slightly better you do it all again.

I especially like that you ***** at me for something that happened years ago, and has no relevance to anything. Yeah, I punched a door and left a dent in it. I was ****ing 10. What reason do you have for bringing it up again other than "**** you, everything is your fault and you're a piece of ****."

I know we're a family, and as unfortunate as that is, you don't need to remind me and give me that as justification for why I have to like you. What happened to "families are supposed to stick together?" Telling me 90% of this household's problems are my fault is not sticking together, it's making me feel like ****. But then I have to love this family and accommodate you, even though I keep being told most things are my fault. I guess I'll stay awake until 2AM again, anxious and crying.

I can't wait to move out of this house and live on my own so I don't have to put up with this. **** you people.

jesus that was exhilarating!! my heart was beating like crazy and i felt such a rush of bliss once i finished that spread to every goddamn nerve and im so tired but everything seems clearer and i feel so alive omg

I have no idea what crazy thoughts got on my head and made me think you had died...

for some reason I just feel like I cant talk to you guys today. I just feel really disconnected. I'm sorry.

"The beauty of love is that, no matter how smart you are, it'll make you think like a potato."

There's a place for people like you, for ****ing with the elderly and for ****ing with my grandmother.

I'm sick of this miserable existence. Anyone I am in contact with in real life are nothing but abusive and manipulative scumbags, who happily throw me away into the trash and trample all over me until they can use me for something, and then begins a cycle of endless mental and emotional abuse until I cave in and give them what they want, and then go right back to being thrown aside again.

No one has given a **** about how I feel or what I want for twenty years. It's always been about what everyone else wants so we have to give them what they want. Because that's the whole point of having a kid isn't it? Getting your own little personal slave that you can kick around and order around, and use and exploit to make yourself look superior to your peers.

They reward the abusive and manipulative ones and punish the kids at every turn if they try to cry for help, calling them 'ungrateful brats' for talking about how terrible their parents are. After all, we can't make them look bad, oh no.

I really want to run away so that I'm finally out of both abusive households, because they've both proven that the outcome is the same regardless of who I stay with. But running away is of course an optimistic dream and I'm never allowed to have those ever. So just about my only choices are to suffer forever or to end my misery once and for all, but everyone will shout me down for even speaking of such things because then that means they lose their favorite emotional/mental punching bag and forces them to find another. They only care when they lose something, not when I do.

I really have no capacity to care anymore. They've taken all my happiness, my hopes and dreams, never received anything even remotely resembling love and support my whole life, and I no longer have any will to live. I just want it to end.